Metal. 🤘🏻

HI SORRY THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN 10 YEARS AGO IS JEFFREY FORD A WIZARD AND IF NOT HOW DID HE ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE DUMPSTER FIRE WE FIND OURSELVES LIVING IN TODAY 😦

Pretty sure in NO WAY is that the cutest age. Did ancient Greeks not have awkward teen stages?

Telemachus is such a little bitch. #TeamPenelope

Ooooh girl yes I know that voodoo. Lucinda gets it.

I don‘t usually post about books I‘m not reading but there‘s an erotic book about honey badger shape shifters 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 it‘s 👏🏻 part 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 series 👏🏻 - just wanted you all to be aware

Umm you couldn‘t get a dog so you got STICK INSECTS???? Bruh. That‘s now how this works. That‘s not how any of this works...

New hot Saga character alert - more flashbacks of Steve, please. 😅 Also this series is amazing and you‘ve waited until volume 8 and hot Steve to add it to your to-read stack? Tsk tsk tsk

Hungover today and could really use my own Borne-cocoon tbh

I mean is that a great opening sentence to a novel or what? ⚡️

Seems wrong to review a book only 3 stories in but even if the rest are awful - still worth it! Also highly unlikely! Ford is reminiscent of Stephen King at his very very best short story-wise. So unsettling and original and weird and chilling and funny and just read it already okay?

Oh shit this book gets it

I think this is the Ancient Roman equivalent of those faux distressed wood boards you can buy at HomeGoods that say “Live. Laugh. Love.”

Calling Law & Order SVU: we have a flaming fire dick on the loose I repeat a FIRE DICK 😵🔥 #ThisIsNotADrill

PSA: JOE HILL DOES NOT KNOW WHAT A BURRITO IS

Dear god that sounds beyond insufferable 🙅🏼‍♀️

Lol ok whatever you think of the actual plot of this book can we please agree the “amazing” art described here sounds terrible? “The cross. The Buddha. The pentagram. The peace sign. A nuclear detonation” 😂 WOW SO DEEP. 🙄

Hello, this is a perfect short story with a perfect opening paragraph.

That makes two of us

Yo I will read anything if you give it this kind of cover treatment

Ok so I normally don't post pics that aren't about the book because - this is Litsy, I got instagram for that shit - BUT I got to go to JPL last week and I was reading this book and it was one of those life / book *moments* that was dope AF. Space exploration reminds us all there's something bigger in the beyond and I'm 100% here for it. This book is very sincere and earnest but it's written by a Canadian so that suits. 🚀

Me reading the first 120 pages of this book: "What? Huh? Who? Where? Robot sex? Cyclops? What? Who? Huh? Where?"

Some days my brain wants to work for it, some days I just want a goddamned bedtime story, you know?

"I'm from Canada and they think I'm slow, eh"

Oh dear this book is more relevant than intended

👏🏻 what 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 fuck 👏🏻 does 👏🏻 that 👏🏻 mean #AWomanDidntWriteThisBook

Important Q: Is this how rich people say "butterfingers"?

? ATTN great new (old?) word alert ?! "Horripilation" is here and she's ready for her comeback. Need to describe how reading Trump's tweets make you feel? She's got you. Browsing Redfin and suddenly realizing you'll never be able to afford a house? Boom. Swiping through Tinder and see your ex? Honey, it is ON. "Horripilation" - Shantay, you stay.

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.

Lol that this was pitched as "inspirational" ?. See my full review at the blog. I work in tech, but probably lost my chance at ever being hired by Paul English. ? https://seejaneread.squarespace.com/readjaneread/2017/7/9/a-truck-full-of-money-...

If you liked my angry blurb review, you'll ❤️love ❤️the FULL angry review on my blog! (With bonus other awful book about dudes and the tech industry)
👉🏻 https://seejaneread.squarespace.com/readjaneread/2017/7/9/a-truck-full-of-money-...

Lol. Is it though? #CloseButNoCigar

Hey Dan, here's some food for thought: maybe the problems with the tech industry are *actually* not because of "the youths" you despise or the products you don't understand. Maybe they're caused by entitled dudes who assume the world is going to be handed to them just because they showed up. Sound familiar? Alas, not confined to the tech industry, as you so perfectly demonstrated in this tale of, as you yourself put it, "beached white male" woe.

This after a sentence "I'm back in the world of grown ups." Yes, the mature and sensible world of grown ups where you talk about poop and huge cocks. Extremely slow clap.
P.S. I talk about that stuff too of course but I don't want a FUCKING MEDAL FOR IT.

That's one way to win an election

OMG KAYAKING?! ON A RIVER?! Who are these IDIOTS omg somebody call the loony bin

First pages are all about how dude has no experience and is "reinventing" himself in an industry he has no background in. Then he finds out out young dude with three years of EXPERIENCE in the industry will be his boss. Proceeds to have mid-life temper tantrum meltdown at having to *gasp* interact with LOWLY MILLENNIALS. If the whole book is like this I may throw it across the room. Pray for me. And poor Zack. ??

Indeed.

Yo is it hot in here or is it just me? #palpalboxing #epignyalscraping

Why is this book pitched as "an inspiring story"? Is it meant to inspire people to be assholes? Because this guy sounds like a fucking asshole.

So confused by this book. This is the subject of the bio describing an office - that he wants to be a nightclub after hours. 1) that sounds fucking terrible 2) I'm scared for this hypothetical targeted, sorry "featured" woman 3) why am I still reading this

As someone who works in marketing: fuck both of you 🖕🏻

Daaaaamn; definitely pulled a Wee-Bey Brice when I read this lil punch right here (for reference: http://gph.is/28OGhNe)

Margaret Atwood should write skin cancer PSAs.

God bless us, every one.

All of this advice is excellent. Wish I could time travel and redo my senior yearbook quote.

Really beautifully written. I get the "Where'd you go, Bernadette?" comparisons but it's not, at its core, a breezy, funny novel in the same way. Which isn't a bad thing! Whimsical writing, grim subjects. ??

PMs of the world, good news: your skills are transferable and there's a hot new opportunity. Must hate the West. No benefits - unless fictional virgins in the fictional afterlife count. Spoiler: they don't.

Oh shit y'all no one show ISIS the 🍆 and 🍑 emoji. Why do all religious fundamentalists have the maturity levels of six year-old boys? 🤔

Truer words...