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5/5 ⭐

I'm not a parent, but I still wanted to read it cause 1. I gifted it and wanted to know if it was a good gift and 2. I hoped it would help me interact better with children (as an aunt and at work). Now I wish I could recommend this book to everyone, I learned so, so much! And it's all explained very clearly and compassionately.

I think this is a good parenting book for white parents. There‘s absolutely no nuance about race or class or gay parents or anything about intersectionality so while I believe skills and mindset shifts like these can be helpful for all parents, there isn‘t any discussion around family systems of other cultures that might make some conversations or some of these exercises less safe or do-able for some families. Still a useful read for all parents.

“If you treat your child's sadness, anger and fears not as negatives to be corrected but as opportunities to learn more about them and to connect with them, then you will deepen your bond with them. Then, there is every likelihood you will increase their capacity for happiness.“

'Good parent / bad parent' labels are not helpful because they are about extremes. It's impossible to be perfectly attuned to our children all the time, and even some good intentions can have harmful consequences. But because nobody wants to be labelled as 'bad parent', when we make mistakes (and we do), wanting to avoid the label makes us pretend we haven't made them.

Practical advice but gets a bit too instructional after a while. Not entertaining

Absolutely fabulous. I can‘t recommend this book enough.