Welcome to Litsy!

Part diary, part travelogue, this is the reality of owning a holiday home on a budget in southern France. This is not the posh South of France - not your chic Nice, stylish Cannes or rolling fields of lavender strewn with white linen suits and panama hats. This is what's known as the "Other South of France" inhabited by gnarly vignerons and their tiny grape-laden tractors buzzing about, spilling purple juice on the dusty tracks. Nor is it that dream house off "A Place in the Sun" with its gravel drive and stone walls swathed in wisteria, a beady eyed old madame tottering out to greet you with freshly baked madeleines. This is a scruffy townhouse with worrisome neighbours and inexplicable leaks. Why does everyone on "A Place in the Sun" start talking like an estate agent anyway? Why do they come out with stuff like "Well, Jasmine, it's a good size room, with a double aspect and lots of potential". This is just one of the author's many, many bugbears you are about to share.Written with both humour and affection, the book will transport you to a small village in the centre of the Minervois region, soaked with sun and local wine. Imagine trying to resist the pop of a cork when an intensely blue sky is stained pink by the sunset of aperitif hour, like Syrah seeping into a tablecloth. The setting sun dips into lakes, rivers and sea like a Maraschino cherry into your Dubonnet.Learn about the unwritten rules of apero hour; the quandary of what to pack for a long, hot sojourn; how to stay sane when beset by flies; how to throw the party of the Summer; experience squabbling over a game of boules under the dubious scrutiny of the village veterans; join local life by risking your fingertips to a pair of grape picker's secateurs; discover how to deal with an unrelenting stream of ungrateful house guests. (Clue: begin by providing expensive soaps and end up by leaving maps and strong suggestions regarding satnavs. And what do these people do with all that loo roll!)You'll be spun wildly around Avignon in a tiny car, by a drug crazed Pink Floyd fan. You'll wander, dazed and bemused through a deserted village dressed only in a nylon housecoat. You will be whisked from one delirious fete to the next. If it's not the fete of the olive, it's the fete of the garlic, melon or apricot. There are village fetes which last for days and involve propping up wine barrels in the street and listening to brain splitting music. There are those which involve haring around after bulls and some ubiquitous, half naked Brazilian Dancers.The second part of the book recommends side trips, excursions, hotels and restaurants all over the region. You will learn how to travel through the Languedoc and into Provence for just e1. Find out where to see "Man at C&A" modelling a hessian sack, in the Medieval walled city of Carcassonne; thrill to cowboys in the Camargue; savour the best lunch ever - freshly plucked oysters and icy Picpoul by the sea. The itineraries even include Paris, with suggestions for both much loved and lesser know spots. The words are accompanied by evocative and colourful photographs to fill the gaps in your imagination, as you are transported to this Shangri-La of vineyards, olive groves and glorious beaches. Scattered through the book are suggestions for delicious apero snacks, party platters and proof that the much maligned French cuisine is alive and kicking if you just know where to look. Research is key and this writer is obsessed with it, which is why there are no bad reviews. All places, hotels and restaurants are tried and tested. All are affordable for travellers on moderate budgets, but who still love a good time, a clean sheet, a well cooked dinner and a beautiful setting.In addition, there is no more need to worry about what the hell les Messieurs propping up the cafe bar are supping with those vivid red, green and purple tinctures. All this - and much more - is explained. Bon Courage!