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I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together
I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together: A Memoir | Maurice Vellekoop
6 posts | 2 read | 1 reading | 1 to read
An astonishing, epic graphic memoir in the spirit of Fun Home by Alison Bechdel and Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe Im So Glad We Had This Time Together is that rarest of things: a book about coming out to a loving yet conservative family that is as heartrending to read as it is to look at. Its an incredibly moving, funny, and ultimately triumphant account (spoiler alert!) of what can only be described as a magical fairy tale (pun totally intended!).Anderson Cooper Meet little Maurice Vellekoop, the youngest of four children raised by Dutch immigrants in the 1970s in a blue-collar suburb of Toronto. Despite their working-class milieu, the Vellekoops are devoted to art, music, and film, and they instill a deep reverence for the arts in young Mauriceexcept for literature. Hed much rather watch Cher and Carol Burnett on TV than read a book. He also loves playing with his girlfriends Barbie dolls and helping his Mum in her hair salon, which she runs out of the basement of their house. In short, he is really, really gay. Which is a huge problem, because the family is part of the Christian Reformed Church, a strict Calvinist sect. They go to church twice on Sunday, and they send their kids to a private Christian school, catechism classes, and the Calvinist Cadet Corps. Needless to say, the church is intolerant of homosexuality. Though she loves her son deeply, Maurices mother, Ann, cannot accept him, setting the course for a long estrangement. Vellekoop struggles through all of this until he graduates from high school and is accepted into the Ontario College of Art in the early 1980s. Here he finds a welcoming community of bohemians, including a brilliant, flamboyantly gay professor who encourages him to come out. But just as hes dipping his toes into the waters of gay sex and love, a series of romantic disasters, followed by a violent attack, sets him back severely. And then the shadow of the AIDS era descends. Maurice reacts by retreating to the safety of childhood obsessions, and seeks to satisfy his emotional needs with film- and theatre-going, music, boozy self-medication, and prolific art-making. When these tactics inevitably fail, Vellekoop at last embarks on a journey towards his hearts true desire. In psychotherapy, the spiderweb of family, faith, guilt, sexuality, mental health, the intergenerational fallout of World War II, King Ludwig II of Bavaria, French Formula Hairspray, and much more at last begins to untangle. But its going to be a long, messy, and occasionally hilarious process. Im So Glad We Had This Time Together is an enthralling portrait of what it means to be true to yourself, to learn to forgive, and to be an artist.
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Lauredhel
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blurb
Lauredhel
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Frequently comped to Fun Home, this rambling, unfocused graphic memoir of a gay artist from a conservative family is no Fun Home. I've come to the conclusion that I'm deeply uninterested in other people's spiritual and psychotherapy journeys, and this is both. If competently edited down the half the size, it might have been better.

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Lindy
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–Oh, the illustrator?
–That‘s me!
–I thought you said you were an artist.

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Lindy
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5-year-old Maurice: Why are they being like that?
Mother: Some people just aren‘t nice. I tell you what. Just ignore them.

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Lindy
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My most Recent Reads (May 21) on YouTube: Canadian authors; queer novels, gay memoir; nature writing; graphic format & audio
https://youtu.be/XABqlRZyGcc

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review
psalva
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Mehso-so

This took me a long time to read, esp. for a graphic novel. Vellekoop uses the graphic memoir format to chronicle his life, growing up in a conservative Christian family, his growth into an artist and his coming out/dating experiences. Most of the second half draws on his long-term struggles with depression, as well as his journey to eventual self-acceptance and expression in middle age. There are long scenes lifted from counseling sessions.⬇️

psalva The depiction of his experience with therapy, despair, and depression are raw and chaotic- in other words, quite realistic to my eyes. This made for a drawn out reading experience. In the end there is happiness for Vellekoop but I almost didn‘t want to go through the airing of his trauma to get there. I‘m glad I read his- the art and color are outstanding- but I don‘t think this is for everyone. (edited) 8mo
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