Blech. I get it Lulu. I do. You wake up one day & you are middle-aged & have a shitty marriage & no career & you‘ve done nothing with your life. If you had just left your asshole of a husband & run with your kids to the coast & had love affairs & wanderings & experiences, I‘d be on board. But you didn‘t. You abandoned your children with your abusive husband & had your 16-year old daughter take responsibility for them. Nope. Grow the hell up, Lulu.