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#WondrousWednesday @Eggs

Water:

“You are fully governed by your heart — nothing is right unless it feels right, and nothing is true unless it feels true. This occasional abandonment of logic allows you to be quite flexible and creative. You are a joy to be with because your feathers so rarely get ruffled, but when they do you release waves of emotion so potent as to be nearly tangible.”

Apt. _So_much_ listening to myself at the moment. 😃😍

@Eggs @RamsFan1963 – I‘m on time, I‘m on time‼️ 😂 It‘s #WondrousWednesday-morning here. Thanks for setting this up. Thanks for tagging me. It feels it so much comes at the right time. 💗

Quiz: https://adbl.co/3hgIZ1g

1 — Water 🌊, which at the moment _feels_ so right‼️💪🏼

2 — Tagged. „Arbeit und Struktur“ by Wolfgang Herrndorf

3 — „Das Kartengeheimnis“ by Jostein Gaader (🇬🇧 “The Solitaire Mystery”), cheers to @annamatopoetry

👉🏼 https://www.rowohlt.de/hardcover/wolfgang-herrndorf-arbeit-und-struktur.html

Keeps me busy thinking. Deep and maybe not so deep things.

But I keep catching me wondering if he denied “professional” assistance. If yes, astonishing extent of sovereignty.

He had a precious bunch of friends. The support he got came seemingly from them, not from his relatives. Something to strive for. Even if I‘d like to know how his entourage felt and coped …

Need coffee, sleep and escapism today. Hit by what a man can endure, how much hope, perseverance and courage he can have.

Difficult to convey the sledgehammer-impression of the end.
At some point, the book‘s glued to your hands. I think when you put it away, you never take it up again, because afterwards the formative first impression is irretrievably destroyed. Or your own empathy is encapsulated. Worth reading, but not to force.

👉🏼 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stopped_on_Track?wprov=sfti1

Oh, I now remember.
I was in pieces.

I cried. Oh, how I cried.
And how I laughed. (“I‘m sure he doesn‘t care about Christmas anymore.” He calls. Cut. Family transports father down into the living room to celebrate Christmas. // “Dad, once you‘re dead, do I inherit your new mobile?”)

„At the diagnostics: Alcohol, cigarettes, diet, income, unmarried or not? Not to forget age, weight and height. Everything is strictly anonymized, we only investigate how the living conditions influence the postoperative process. And if the bureaucracy of hell during the preoperative phase weakens the […] half-dead patients in any way, we might investigate _that_ in the next study.“ (10.10.2011 7:30 Uhr)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ Funny, not funny.
Funny. 😂 🤷🏽‍♀️

“Often I don‘t know how I am, and I don‘t ask myself. But at the speed with which time passes, I notice it. It‘s been 10:29 a.m. for three minutes now, which means concentrated work.” (Achtzehn, 11.8.2011 10:29 Uhr)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ I so much hear ya‼️ 💙💜🤎🖤🤍

“When dying, consciousness dies. What is consciousness? It‘s not felt, the organ to feel it is missing. A few thoughts that investigate themselves in vain, a few ideas perhaps […] a junk shop, most second-hand. Somewhere there‘s an accountant writing the inventory, trusting the repeatedly started and never completed backup copy to fugitive media, […] hoping it can one day be played back on a similarly questionable operating system as its own.”

“Home by bike along the river Spree. Sit smiling on the benches at Kaiserin-Augusta-Allee, where you can look across the river at industrial buildings in the almost summery night air. I used the permanent smile during radiation therapy to induce the body to provide the feeling corresponding to facial expressions and muscles. And that‘s what it does.” (29.3. 2011 23:00 Uhr)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ I know that this works, why don‘t I use this strategy more often❓🤔

“Taking stock of a year: brain surgery, 2x nut house, rays, Temodal. 1,75 novels, first big holiday, many friends, lots of swimming, hardly read. A year in hell, but also a great year. On average, hardly happier or more unhappy than before the diagnosis, only the rashes are larger on both sides. Overall, maybe even a little happier than before, because I live the way I should have lived. And never did, except maybe as a kid.“ (28.3.2011, 9:40 Uhr)

“I read the Wikipedia article on narcissism and come to the conclusion that they are not at all different fears, but only one: After all, death is nothing more than the communication of the universe to the individual that it is not loved, the message to not be needed, to be indifferent to this world.” (Rückblende, Teil 7: Die Weltformel, 4th paragraph)

„Arbeit und Struktur“ is an autobiographical book by Wolfgang Herrndorf. It started as a private blog (🇩🇪 https://www.wolfgang-herrndorf.de) and was published by Rowohlt Verlag in 2013 as a book.

It documents the last 3,5 years of his life, from the diagnosis of his malignant brain tumor to his suicide.