Welcome to Litsy!

This book was exactly what I needed and I received it at the right time too. This is only the beginning of a long process, I know, but it helped me see it as a process that deserves patience and grace and not like something to dread. Dr. Faith‘s writing style is real and amusing, and one I resonate with. People who are offended by curse words might not appreciate it like I do. From here, I do the work, seek therapy, and journal/meditate on this.

“Forgive the deed, but remember the lesson… Forgiveness doesn‘t make you weak—it reinforces your strength.”

“In reality, relationships don‘t come with guarantees.”

“…you can‘t forgive what someone did to someone else, only what they did to you… Forgiveness work means releasing our direct connection. If we try to widen our net to forgive the harm experienced by other people, we get lost in vague complexities that make the work impossible.”

“…we have a tendency to attribute our own behavior as a response to our circumstances, but attribute the behavior of others to the core essence of their badness… Giving people the benefit of the doubt that they are reacting situationally to the world around them, just as we are, takes the edge off the hurt they cause us.”

“…people who practice episodic forgiveness develop something termed trait forgiveness. All this means is that you center forgiveness of others as a fundamental part of how you navigate the world for your own emotional health. They are calmer, have better skills for overcoming obstacles, and are less likely to take the actions of others as personal attacks.”

“Your baggage does not have to be your identity.”

“Forgiveness doesn‘t mean letting people continue to stomp all over your boundaries. Instead, forgiveness takes the emotionality out of a toxic relationship, which helps you establish and maintain more solid boundaries in the future.”

“Moral anger is vital to human survival, but needs to be handled as carefully (or maybe more carefully) than other forms of anger. This goes back to walking the path of anger—recognizing it‘s validity and coming up with a plan that is proactive instead of reactive.”

“Our feelings are completely our own, and we shouldn‘t blame others for them. We can, however, ask them for different behaviors that better respect our boundaries. Or we can change our own interactions to better protect ourselves.”

“The trick with emotions is to use them just for what they are: Information to take into consideration. Not necessarily to be acted on with our initial impulses—maybe not acted upon at all—just another piece of evidence to consider before you respond.”

“Anger provides the energy needed for change. Maybe your situation, maybe yourself. But learning to respond to your anger, not react from it, is the key to healthy usage.”

“All emotions are information, designed to help us make decisions that will protect us and keep us safe.”

I have a lot of resentment to contend with lately, things from my past keep bubbling to the surface and it‘s making me irritable. On top of trying to find a therapist, I felt I needed to try something, anything to help me start the process of forgiving and letting go. The tagged book had good reviews and aligned with what I think I need, and the other is just for added measure. I need to take better care of myself in all respects.