Welcome to Litsy!

This first-ever humor book on clowns is both an examination of why they're so terrifying and a survival guide on how to protect ourselves from devious clown attacks. Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and very reasonable. You may think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You are wrong. Clowns are adult men who never tell you their real names and dress in ways that obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?) and their appearances are downright unnatural. In this guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino--author and founder of the (fictional) anti-clown group Red Nose Alert--delves into the terrifying clown underworld to educate readers on everything they need to know to protect themselves from these seemingly innocuous gagmen using his proven four-step strategy (Assess, Analyze, Defend, Protect). Along the way, Sambuchino examines the types of clowns (party, circus, Cirque Du Soleil, etc.), clown anatomy, and all the known and present dangers therein: props, behavior, crimes and mysteries, lairs, and--most importantly--what to do when clowns attack.