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We Can�t Talk about That at Work!
We Can�t Talk about That at Work!: How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics | Mary-Frances Winters
6 posts | 1 read | 1 to read
We Need to Talk! Conversations about taboo topics happen at work every day. And if they aren't handled effectively, they can become polarizing and divisive, impacting productivity, engagement, retention, teamwork, and even employees' (…more)
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review
Shae_Purcell
Mehso-so

The earlier chapters had some interesting information about communication styles and gauging readiness, and the last chapter offered a list of offensive phrases to avoid. The written example of a bold conversation toward the end of the book didn't have much to offer. Ultimately, I think this book was written for white people as a way to ease us into the conversation very slowly.

Full review here - https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4075059878.

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Shae_Purcell
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"A fact is something that is undeniable and will stand until proven wrong. It is universally accepted. . . . Truth is much more subjective, incorporating feelings and beliefs, and it can change. . . . One's perception of a situation is one's truth."

Last one from this month's book club chapter! This was a short section in this chapter, but I really enjoyed it. Is it fact or truth?

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Shae_Purcell
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"African Americans tend to build trust via sharing one's emotional reality in a direct manner and whites tend to build trust via controlling emotion. He found that Black people can trust you if you are straight with them and tell them exactly what you think and feel. He found that for whites, trust was built when you spare feelings to help keep the difficult conversation 'on track.'"

More tidbits from last week's book club meeting. Thoughts?

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blurb
Shae_Purcell
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Our Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Book Club meeting was last Friday. I found this research on communication styles incredibly interesting. Depending on region and cultural preferences, individuals may share a communication style with others in their social group but have difficulty communicating with members of other groups. Knowing this could help prevent misunderstanding both at work and in personal conversation.

Image from icsinventory.com.

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Shae_Purcell
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"'I got it . . . I just won't talk to any of my black coworkers. I don't want to offend anybody, and it is just better for me to keep my mouth shut.' He obviously did not want to do the personal work required to learn more about differences."

White fragility. White wildness. I'm learning to see these reactions in myself. Working to stop my mind from going to this place. Unlearning the harm. Yet the response is so deep-rooted it's almost a reflex.

Shae_Purcell The term "white fragility" renamed "white wildness" by Rachel Ricketts. 3y
34 likes1 comment
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Shae_Purcell
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This is the first book in our new Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion book club at work. I know this topic is meant to make me question, but this statement took me by surprise. Marginalized groups should be more understanding? Our moderator made the distinction between power and privilege by saying that we (the dominant group) can be blamed for our privilege but not for anyone else's lack of power. It was a great discussion, but I'm still conflicted.

Shae_Purcell "Historically marginalized groups need to understand and recognize the impact of power and privilege without blaming dominant group individuals for this condition." 3y
wanderinglynn I can understand not blaming in the sense that maybe a modern dominant group did not create the problem. And maybe that blame does not solve problems. But I think that‘s too broad & bold statement by itself. Why can‘t marginalized groups blame the dominant group for either their power or privilege? 3y
wanderinglynn In fact, I‘d say the blame should lie heavier on the power because without the power of the dominant group, the marginalized group wouldn‘t have been marginalized. 🤔 3y
See All 9 Comments
Shae_Purcell @wanderinglynn Excellent point. The author does say that dominant groups benefit most from both unearned power and privilege, but she then goes on to say that non-dominant groups should change their mindset because they won't come into their power if they believe themselves to be powerless. This feels to me like manifesting or positivity culture, without also acknowledging that marginalized groups are starting at a disadvantage. Full quote below. 3y
Shae_Purcell “Dominant group individuals should work on understanding the impact of their unearned power and privilege. Nondominant groups should not use that as a crutch but rather change their mindset, and, consequently, their behavior will change. If you see yourself as powerless, you act powerless. If you see yourself as having infinite power, you press on with confidence and resolve.“ 3y
wanderinglynn I agree that what you believe is true. Internal thoughts are powerful. That being said, when talking about marginalized groups, it goes beyond an individual‘s personal beliefs. When the system is set-up to keep groups marginalized & powerless, it doesn‘t matter how much an individual presses on with “confidence and resolve”. 3y
wanderinglynn So I think her quote basically blames the victim—you‘re powerless because you believe/act powerless. I feel that‘s BS & ignores the large systemic problems. 3y
wanderinglynn But this has provided great thought-provoking conversation. Thanks for sharing! 3y
Shae_Purcell @wanderinglynn I agree wholeheartedly. I do believe that the mind can be a powerful motivator, but positive thinking alone can't possibly fix systemic issues (as you mention above). In this I disagree with the author, though her book has so far achieved its purpose of inspiring bold conversations. Thanks for talking it out with me! 3y
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