Welcome to Litsy!

Wow.

A good reminder that some relationships being temporary can be healthy.

What hurts us will not be our full story.

As we better grieve the sorrows, we will soon receive our tomorrows with a little more healing and a lot more life.

If we want recovery and healing, we would be wise to take a break or possibly make a clean break from the one wounding us.

When thinking through a relationship that‘s shifted from difficult to destructive, we can‘t just consider the facts, we must consider the impact as well.

Trauma isn‘t just something that happens to you. It happens in you.

No trauma is healed in a healthy way by developing unhealthy ways of coping.

I don‘t want to get so emptied by the fractured people that I don‘t have anything left to give to anyone else.

Someone else being disappointed doesn‘t make us a disappointment.

Good boundaries bring relief to the grief of letting other people‘s opinions, issues, desires, and agendas run our life.

“The Bible clearly states we are chosen, holy, and dearly loved by God….The best of who we are is made possible by the best of what God has done for us. He has chosen us. He has set us apart for His holy purpose. And He loves us with an intentional and dedicated love that won‘t quit on us.”

What our boundaries will and will not do.

It‘s a brutal journey learning that we can be okay even when the choices of someone we love are not okay at all.

“If our identity, the foundational belief we hold of who we are, is tied to an opinion someone has of us, we need to reassess….When their opinion of us starts to affect how we see ourselves, we can lose sight of the best parts of who we are because we get entangled in the exhausting pursuit of trying to keep that relationship intact no matter the cost.”

Questioning our identity is doubting who we are because we have given too much power to other people by letting their opinions define us.

Even if someone doesn‘t like a boundary you have set, healthy people know the difference between hurt and harm.

Healthy people who desire healthy relationships don‘t have an issue with other people‘s healthy boundaries.

The hardship isn‘t just the tension between where you are and where they are. The real risk is the longer you stay in this tension, the possibility increases that you‘ll get pulled down.

Getting to a better place is good even if it doesn‘t feel good in the moment.

When people aren‘t respectful of our limits, we can set boundaries, or we can pay consequences.

Boundaries aren‘t going to fix the other person. But they are going to help you stay fixed on what is good, what is acceptable, and what you need to stay healthy and safe.

When we allow a boundary to be violated, bad behavior will be validated.

Access AND accountability need to be able to coexist alongside each other.

Love can be unconditional but relational access never should be.

Just because someone lives close by doesn‘t mean we can assume they will be responsible with complete access.

A prayer for when I feel unseen. Which is a lot of the time. Anyone else need it, too?

Responding to being triggered.

Okay so who else knows they need this prayer before trying to set boundaries in connection with others as much as I know I need it?!?

🙋🏻‍♀️😅

And when we dare to unnaturally change into what someone else needs, we risk losing ourselves in the process.

When we dare to be so very known, we risk being so very hurt. When we dare to be so very hopeful, we risk being so very disappointed. When we dare to be so very giving, we risk being so very taken advantage of.

We set boundaries so we know what to do when we very much want to love those around us really well without losing ourselves in the process. Good boundaries help us preserve the love within us even when some relationships become unsustainable and we must accept the reality of a goodbye.

Love must be honest. Love must be safe. Love must seek each person‘s highest good.

Boundaries protect the right kind of love and help prevent dysfunction from destroying that love. Boundaries help us say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and establish what is and isn‘t acceptable.

When we‘re hurt, good boundaries and goodbyes help us to not get stuck in a perpetual state of living hurt.

Love should be what draws us together not what tears us apart.

Even books on heavier, harder topics qualify as good book mail days!!
Who likes to dive into books that help explain and connect with where you‘re at in life?!?

Boundaries aren‘t meant to be weaponized. They are meant to be used to prioritize keeping relationships safe.