Part of respecting others is respecting their boundaries. Part of respecting yourself is building your own boundaries.”
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Part of respecting others is respecting their boundaries. Part of respecting yourself is building your own boundaries.”
Pain is pain. But suffering is feeling alone in pain. You can take away someone‘s suffering by making them feel heard and seen. It transforms into pain that they can handle.
Don‘t expect your business to thrive if you‘ve given up on people. If you don‘t hire help, you‘ll never achieve your potential to keep dreaming and creating new things. The only failure in business is quitting. Interview a hundred people if you have to.
“People do not cost too much money. Lack of growth is what costs too much. Don‘t manage your people. Push your people. If you aren‘t going to push your people, throw your business in the trash. If you push and they don‘t respond, cut that dead weight.
“Anyone who gives up on the human race is guaranteed not to have a business.” There are people out there who will be just as obsessed about your dream as you are. Businesses are not about the product. Businesses are a collection of engaged people. Your biggest regret will be staying small for too long.
When in doubt, err on the side of imperfect experimentation.
Feelings are a record of past experiences.
The appearance of superiority is inconsequential next to the reality of it
Make friends with pain, and you‘ll never be alone.
Rules that tell us conflicting things, such as “Stand up for yourself and speak your mind” and “Never ever hurt anyone‘s feelings.” This caused anxiety. I thought I was afraid of others. Actually, I was afraid of my own inner critic, who would ruthlessly attack me if I broke a rule. This caused a perpetual feeling of never measuring up.
Your Brain on Love: “Our brain is wired more for war than for love.”
“Trying to fix ourselves is not helpful. It implies struggle and self denigration. Denigrating ourselves is the major way we lose peace. Meditate to cultivate steadfastness in ourselves.”
“We are certain about who we are and who others are, and it blinds us. If another version comes knocking on our door, our fixed ideas keep us from accepting it... Train as a warrior to connect to our natural flexibility and our dynamic changing nature.”
“The Buddha said the three qualities of impermanence, egolessness, and suffering are shared by all humanity. What we struggle with all our lives can be acknowledged as ordinary, it‘s not because of our personal inability to get things right. Everything is in process.”
“Peak experiences are neither good nor bad. It‘s their addictive quality. It‘s inevitable that what goes up must come down, so when we take refuge in them, we are doomed to disappointment.” The more we accept boredom or pain, the more flexible we are to relax despite not knowing the future and the greater our capacity to find joy in each moment.”
“When we find ourselves becoming righteously indignant, that‘s a sure sign that our ability to affect change will be hindered. Beliefs and ideals have become just another way to put up walls.”
“The places we go to for comfort only strengthen our fears. Like a mouse being caught in a trap because he can‘t resist the cheese. When we are trapped, we blindly reach for something we associate with relief. Instead, we should acknowledge what is going on and be curious.”
“Running from groundlessness weakens us and brings us pain.”
When you realize you are feeling angry in an interaction with someone, it is because you have been challenged to a power struggle. Even if you win the power struggle, it sets the course for revenge. The only thing you can do is recognize it and step back from the interaction. Anger is only a tool. There is no need for it. Simply use language. You don‘t need other people to submit to your rightness. Other people can think what they want.
Answers from others...are of no value.
Popular point of view: The worst possible scenario is being addicted to your partner or "needing" your partner.
The biological truth: Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the levels of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities. Dependency is a fact. It is not a choice or a preference.
"Attachment is an integral part of human behavior throughout the entire lifespan."
The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always the result of holding onto something.
"Trying to change yourself doesn't work in the long run became we're resisting our own energy. Self improvement can have temporary results. But lasting transformation occurs only when we honor ourselves as the ultimate source of wisdom and compassion... Only when we relate with ourselves without harshness or deception, can we let go of harmful patterns."
"90% of breakthroughs come after a breakdown." Allow yourself to face your emotions. Don't numb them or run from them.
"Needing to find reasons to live had forced me to build a life worth living. The greater our capacity for sorrow becomes, the greater our capacity for joy."