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How to Be a Footballer
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch
6 posts | 6 read | 1 to read
'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro **A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year** **Shortlisted for the National Book Awards** **Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year** You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and youre suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay 250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. Well be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Erikssons assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we? Cant get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live
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Verity
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch
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Pickpick

I don‘t usually read footballer memoirs, but I‘m glad I made an exception for this. Crouch has had a really interesting career, knows that he's not a typical footballer (his build, his skills, his career trajectory) and is very funny.  It's written with Tom Fordyce and I don't know how that arrangement worked, but the end product sounds very Peter Crouch, and also not at all what you'd expect from a footballer's book.

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Verity
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch
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On a sun lounger on holiday with my latest read. It‘s hilarious.

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Rachel52
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch
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1. Peter Crouch - How to be a Footballer
2. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
3. The Lake House by Kate Morton

#weekendreads @rachelsbrittain

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Itchyfeetreader
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch
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Pickpick

This is so far from my usual reading it‘s practically a different hobby. Picked it up in a random queue a few weeks ago and have devoured it on my ferry crossing to Spain. He‘s knowledgable on his topic and at times laugh out loud self depreciating. I feel like I read half of it out loud to my husband which is a good measure of enjoyment!!

Minervasbutler Crouchy's one of the good guys 5y
TrishB He is very dry and funny. Saw him in an interview once where they said ‘what would you be if you weren‘t a footballer‘ and he said ‘a virgin‘ he always was self deprecating!! 5y
MicheleinPhilly @TrishB 😂😂😂 5y
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Itchyfeetreader @TrishB 😂😂 he‘s had me chortling when I have not been popping ginger ! 5y
CarolynM @TrishB Oh, I do like the sound of him! 5y
TrishB @CarolynM not the best player we‘ve ever had but certainly one of the most liked 😁 5y
41 likes7 comments
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ZeeZ_10
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch

Yes I am tall
Yes I am 6‘7”
No the weather isn‘t different up here
No I don‘t play basketball
I‘m so glad we had this conversation

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ZeeZ_10
How to Be a Footballer | Peter Crouch

There are transfers when you think, whoa, he must have a good agent. Tal Ben Haim always got great moves. From Bolton to Chelsea, and then West Ham.

You‘re watching Milan one evening and Philippe Senderos pops up. Hang on, are there two Philippe Senderoses? He‘s failed at Arsenal, now he‘s with the multiple European champions?