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Self-Reg
Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life | Dr. Stuart Shanker
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Theres no such thing as a bad kid. Thats what a lifetime of experience has taught Dr. Stuart Shanker. No matter how difficult, out of control, distracted, or exhausted a child might seem, theres a way forward: self-regulation. Overturning decades of conventional wisdom, this radical new technique allows children and the adults who care for them to regain their composure and peace of mind. Self-Reg is a groundbreaking book that presents an entirely new understanding of your childs emotions and behavior and a practical guide for parents to help their kids engage calmly and successfully in learning and life. Grounded in decades of research and working with children and parents by Dr. Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous systems way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress, and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the hidden stressors that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing sees our children as lacking self-control or willpower, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress. Self-regulation can dramatically improve a childs mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy, and to cultivate the sorts of virtues that most parents know are vital for their childs long-term wellbeing. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues throughout life. Dr. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children to do the same and engage successfully with life for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth.
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Christine
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A niche recommendation, to be sure, but this is a great read if you have kids (or others in your life…including yourself!) that have issues with behavior, social interactions, anxiety, etc. Lots of good research and tips within, and most valuable is the encouragement to reframe misbehavior as stress behavior and to shift the focus from self-“control” to self-regulation.

ImperfectCJ This looks like it has the kind of information/approach I've been seeking for my classroom. Is it very geared towards parenting, or do you think the information could be easily applied to a teacher/student situation? 1y
Bookwormjillk I read this a while ago but I still love to say “One two three I‘m as calm as I can be.” 1y
Christine @ImperfectCJ It‘s pretty parent-focused, but the approach is absolutely used in schools, and some of the examples reflect that! It‘s mostly about helping kids identify their stressors and the strategies that work best for them to self-regulate, and teachers can of course be super valuable collaborators in that. 1y
Christine @Bookwormjillk Love that! :) 1y
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