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Amateur
Amateur: A True Story About What Makes a Man | Thomas Page McBee
11 posts | 11 read | 23 to read
From an award-winning writer whose work bristles with hard-won strength, insight, agility, and love (Maggie Nelson), an exquisite and troubling narrative of masculinity, violence, and society. In this groundbreaking new book, the author, a trans man, trains to fight in a charity match at Madison Square Garden while struggling to untangle the vexed relationship between masculinity and violence. Through his experience boxinglearning to get hit, and to hit back; wrestling with the camaraderie of the gym; confronting the betrayals and strength of his own bodyMcBee examines the weight of male violence, the pervasiveness of gender stereotypes, and the limitations of conventional masculinity. A wide-ranging exploration of gender in our society, Amateur is ultimately a story of hope, as McBee traces a new way forward, a new kind of masculinity, inside the ring and outside of it. In this graceful, stunning, and uncompromising exploration of living, fighting, and healing, we gain insight into the stereotypes and shifting realities of masculinity today through the eyes of a new man.
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andrew61
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Pickpick

This was a enlightening exploration abt masculinity by a trans gender man, a journalist, who trains to fight at madison sq garden for a charity event. As a child abused by his step father, + concious that in his transition he seems to be slipping into toxic masculine traits including anticipating violence + sexism, he finds in the gym relationships which help him come to terms with his conflicted thoughts and being a man, whatever that means.

Moray_Reads I learned so much from this one. It shows how insidious that sort of masculinity is in society and how easy it is for everyone to be complicit in it 4y
andrew61 @Moray_Reads I heard about it when the podcast literary friction interviewed him, I'd recommend listening as he is an enthusiastic speaker. 4y
Moray_Reads I've read his books (Man Alive and this one) and several articles/interviews but I'm not sure I've actually heard him speak. I really admire his passion and curiosity and his willingness to really look into and understand things 4y
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lovelybookshelf
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Tackling the masculinity crisis & toxic masculinity by drawing from his own experiences as a trans man, McBee's insights complement the works of Julia Serano and Brené Brown. If you're like me and aren't into reading about boxing - it wasn't too bad, and he connects it to broader, important points. There were a lot of points to mull over, things I'd never considered before. This book sparks compassion, encourages discussion, and effects change.

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NotCool
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This story of learning to box packs a punch*...Um, I mean it‘s well crafted and affecting. McBee‘s work to craft a healthy, kind masculinity for himself while engaging in boxing shone a light into corners of life that remain hidden most of the time. *That just happened on its own, I‘m very sorry.

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NotCool
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In Denmark, men said to “be a man” meant not being a boy. America men said that to “be a man” was not to be a woman. ...If being “feminine” is the opposite of being a man, then many qualities that Americans associate with women (such as empathy...) are...destroyed in boyhood. “You‘re only a man by not being a woman...basing someone‘s humanness on someone else‘s dehumanization.” Thomas McBee and Niobe Way

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Moray_Reads
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Magnificent. McBee's second memoir is even better than the first (not that “better“ is the right word). In it he explores his own relationship to masculinity before and particularly after his transition began. It's both hugely personal and a brilliant contribution to discussions about masculinity, toxic and otherwise. Profound, lucid, honest and powerful.

Aimeesue This book was featured in a BBC Books Good Reads podcast I listened to recently. Sounded like a great read. 6y
Moray_Reads @Aimeesue it's definitely an important book and very well written 6y
Cathythoughts Hi Moray, I never did receive @Lel2403 Lmpbc book. There is no rush in the wide world, I‘m only wondering if it has gone out yet .... so I can look out for it. Thanks, Cathy x 6y
Moray_Reads @Cathythoughts hi Cathy, so sorry life has been super hectic since Christmas and the book is still sitting on my desk. I'll do my best to get it sent out to you today! 6y
Cathythoughts There‘s no panic at all ... I was just afraid it had been lost 👍🏻👍🏻 6y
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SkeletonKey
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This book was excellent, even better than his first, Man Alive. It‘s part memoir but also a very tender exploration of masculinity, violence, cultural pressure, and privilege.

Would definitely recommend.

#transbooks #lgbtq

Clare-Dragonfly That fabric or whatever it is delights me. 6y
SkeletonKey @Clare-Dragonfly - It‘s a little throw blanket on my bed, I love it too 😆 6y
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SkeletonKey
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“My abiding fear remained for years after I began injecting testosterone that I would be made strange, and that in my strangeness, I would not be loved.”

Same.

#transbooks

jmofo @SkeletonKey Everyone is a little strange, at least, even if they don‘t see or show it. For me, I was fearful (to a point of not pursuing the therapy) of becoming strange to myself. It keeps me from embracing medication as a solution for nearly anything. 6y
SkeletonKey @jmofo - I worried about that before starting but in reality I‘m becoming much more recognizable to myself while also becoming something less recognizable to family, some friends. Self acceptance at a cost, I guess. I‘m pretty terrified of medicine as well, so I don‘t blame you! Some things have been worth it. Hope you are well. 6y
jmofo @SkeletonKey That makes a lot of sense. I am glad you‘re seeing yourself better. What you‘re describing resonates with my experience with talk therapy (and art therapy and a couple of other things in the last ten years), in an emotional/mental sense. I‘m having a good few days. Thank you. It‘s always good to see you here! I hope you enjoy your day. 6y
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SkeletonKey
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“The next time I found myself behind a woman running alone, I thought, I would do what I wished men had done for me: I would announce myself. “Passing on your right!” I‘d call. I would be careful to give her a wide berth. I would be aware that my body was, for much of the world, a weapon until proven otherwise.”

Empathy and understanding are much needed skills.

#transbooks

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SkeletonKey
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Currently reading Thomas Page McBee‘s second memoir, Amateur. After finishing Man Alive, it‘ll be nice to see where he is now. This one discusses masculinity, violence, and his experience being a trans man in the world of boxing.

#transbooks

RaimeyGallant Sounds interesting. 6y
SkeletonKey @RaimeyGallant - It‘s really, really good. 6y
28 likes2 comments
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lycomayflower
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tholmz
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Pickpick

I can‘t express how much I love Thomas Page McBee‘s writing style. He is so careful and thoughtful and wise and open. I loved his last book, but this one might stick with me even more. I didn‘t know that was possible.