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Refusing Compulsory Sexuality
Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture | Sherronda J. Brown
4 posts | 1 read | 6 to read
For readers of Ace and Belly of the Beast: A Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality--and an incisive interrogation of the sex-obsessed culture that invisibilizes and ignores asexual and A-spec identity. Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong. The notion that everyone wants sex--and that we all have to have it--is false. Its intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness thats not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity. In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. Brown advocates for the A in LGBTQIA+, affirming that to be asexual is to be queer--despite the gatekeeping and denial that often says otherwise. With chapters on desire, f*ckability, utility, refusal, and possibilities, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality discusses topics of deep relevance to ace and a-spec communities. It centers the Black asexual experience--and demands visibility in a world that pathologizes and denies asexuality, denigrates queerness, and specifically sexualizes Black people. A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential read for asexuals, aromantics, queer readers, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.
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review
TieDyeDude
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This is a book that will stick with me for a while. I was introduced to several new-to-me concepts that are interesting to consider:
Terms like chrononormativity and frigidity
That asexuals are often assumed homosexual (if you're not in a hetero relationship, you must be hiding a same-sex one), because lack of desire is not valid. This thinking has been applied posthumously to both Langston Hughes and Octavia E. Butler, among others. ⤵️

TieDyeDude (I've experienced this myself). That left-handers are 2.5 more likely to identify as asexual; this chapter made some interesting correlations between left-handed demonization and LGBT persecution (I'm also left-handed). The ways that a (white) cisheteronormative society is threatened by asexual acknowledgement. It is not a book for beginners, but it is a powerful examination of the struggles of ace individuals through a black woman's lens. 3mo
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian This is on my TBR! Thanks for the thorough review. I also enjoyed 3mo
TieDyeDude @caseythecanadianlesbrarian I am interested in that and tagged below. I started this book over a year ago, and for various reasons, didn\'t pick it up in earnest until last month, so I set aside other ace reads until I finished. 3mo
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian @TieDyeDude it's exciting that there are more and more ace nonfiction books out now! 3mo
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TieDyeDude
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"According to one study, 69.4 percent of the asexual participants report having their identity challenged, and the vast majority of those challenges came in the form of infantilization, with phrases like 'you are a late bloomer' or 'you just haven't met the right person.' The denial of self-governance... is informed by the perceived adult superiority and the dehumanization of children already present and normalized in our society."

TieDyeDude "Compulsory heterosexuality works to frame heterosexual sex as a necessary fixture of adulthood. Infantilized asexuals are provided endless assurance that the 'right person' will come along to pluck us from our lonely, immature existence." 3mo
Jari-chan True... 3mo
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blurb
psalva
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My morning activities today: lazy reading, coffee, and maybe some crochet, my newest hobby. My reading has slowed down a lot as the year progressed, but I‘m refusing to see that as a bad thing. It‘s been deeper and more meaningful in many ways. Still, it‘s a mystery to me that I tend to read less when I start having more time off of work for the holidays. This morning‘s mood is an anomaly.
#craftersoflitsy #crochet

blurb
TieDyeDude
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Top row: #bookhaul
Bottom row: #libraryhaul