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A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar
A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar: A Journey of Self (and Sexual) Discovery | Harry Nicholas
7 posts | 3 read | 4 to read
'On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on being gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both - to exist in the hazy terrain between.' After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man. Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? What would gay sex be like? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible? In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry's brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are.
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ChaoticMissAdventures
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Okay so first of all I was totally attracted to this because of the title. I didn't know who Nicholas was before picking this up. I liked the format, a bit biography, a lot musing, with talk of art, music, and history throughout. Nicholas struggles throughout with gender and identity and sexuality, and a lot of sex talk. The book is frank and open and I really enjoyed all of it.
4⭐
#TransRightsReadathon

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ChaoticMissAdventures
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"We've not yet had the conversation about how invisible passing can make someone feel. Passing is an assumption about your life so far and how you have experienced and do experience the world and that isn't the truth. And transness is all about truth. Personally, I think we should replace the phrase 'pass as' with 'mistaken for' to get to the real root of the problem."

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ChaoticMissAdventures
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"I was way too late in realizing, having never really gone through a heartbreak like that before, that what I really needed was Elton John. The first step on the road to recovery is - no, not acceptance or even anger - it's Elton."

31 likes1 stack add
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ChaoticMissAdventures
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This weekend we read pink! Weekend reads trying to keep moving with #womensprize books while also participating in the #transrightsreadathon.

batsy Great covers! 8mo
DimeryRene Happy to see another participant!!! 🏳️‍⚧️🎉 8mo
ChaoticMissAdventures @DimeryRene I love this week! I read Trans authors throughout the year but this week really pushes me to look for new things. What are you excited to read during the readathlon? 8mo
27 likes3 comments
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arlenefinnigan
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Pickpick

This is a fascinating book and a great insight into Harry Nicholas' journey as a trans man. It's unflinchingly honest and intimate memoir, and a reflection on the complexities and nuances of sexuality and gender identity.

24 likes1 stack add
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arlenefinnigan
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Next up

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broughtyoubooks
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Haven't put that much thought into dating as a queer trans masc, but love that this shows the journey of it. Fear of rejection from men is always up there, but seeing the journey through coming out, dating and the doubled hazards of grindr, along with the stress of validation and the eventual happy ending made this such a good read.

CarolynM I can imagine it could be very complicated. Sounds like an interesting read. 2y
tonymp Wow do I dislike Grindr. I tried it and deleted it. When I'm out with friends who check it, I watch them get their time wasted like my time was wasted because we are all laughing and looking at phones. It must be designed that way, to waste peoples' time. 2y
65 likes2 comments