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All the Rage
All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership | Darcy Lockman
6 posts | 5 read | 9 to read
Journalist turned psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a bracing look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how egalitarian relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work fulltime and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these disappointed expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?
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Amandakay
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Pickpick

So real.

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TheBookgeekFrau
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I actually bailed on this one. Some of the studies were interesting, but for the most part the author just annoyed the crap out of me. BUT it works for #TemptingTitles #WithAPun

Eggs 💗🖤💗 12mo
31 likes1 comment
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Reagan
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1. Missing, Presumed by Susie Steiner, The Witches of St. Petersburg by Imogen Edwards-Jones, The Power by Naomi Alderman

2. Tagged book, currently obsessed and have recommended everywhere and to everyone.

3. A lot 😂 but some are for my daughter so personally, 9 😬

#weekendreads @rachelsbrittain

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Reagan
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Ugh this book is everything. My husband is fabulous (worked today and our buying new security stuff for the house then home to do yard work) but I always find myself really connecting with the frustrations regarding the mental load and the managerial work that I always seem to end up tackling because I‘m better at it. This is giving me great insight into how and why this sometimes falls more to moms, grateful for that! #24in48

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Reagan
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This book is speaking to me in another level. Everyone should read it!

*my husband is an active domestic partner and this book does not drag men at all, rather it is bigger picture*

22 likes2 stack adds
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Clockworkbee
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Pickpick

I think this book will be regarded as essential feminist reading in a few years. The book examines why fathers‘ contributions to household labor and childcare haven‘t increased since the early 2000s. According to a recent PEW study, mothers are still performing 65% of childcare tasks. This book examines the social structures support this unfair system. The book is very well researched and was an enjoyable, if infuriating read.