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Normal Family
Normal Family: On Truth, Love, and How I Met My 35 Siblings | Chrysta Bilton
15 posts | 18 read | 19 to read
A riveting, nuanced portrait of unforgettable characters thrown together by chance and DNA, this is a story of nature, nurture, and coming to terms with one's true inheritance. What is a normal family, and how do you go about making one? Chrysta Biltons magnetic, larger-than-life mother, Debra, yearned to have a child, but as a single gay woman in 1980s California, she had few options. Until one day, while getting her hair done in a Beverly Hills salon, she met a man and instantly knew he was the one shed been looking for. Beautiful, athletic, artistic, and from a well-to-do family, Jeffrey Harrison appeared to be Debras ideal sperm donor. A verbal agreement, a couple of thousand in cash, and a few squirts of a turkey baster later, and Chrysta was conceived. Over the years, Jeffrey would make regular appearances at the family home, which grew to include Chrystas baby sister. But how much did Debra really know about the man shed chosen to father her daughters? And as a single mother torn between ferocious independence and abject dependenceon other women, alcohol, drugs, and the adrenaline of get-rich-quick schemeswhat secrets of her own was she keeping? It wasnt until Chrysta was a young adult that she discovered just how much her parents had hidden from their daughtersand each otherincluding a shocking revelation with far-reaching consequences not only for Debra, Chrysta, and her sister, but for dozens and possibly hundreds of unsuspecting families across the country. After a lifetime of longing for a normal family, can Chrysta face the reality of her own, in all its complexity? Bringing us into the fold of a deeply dysfunctional yet fiercely loving clan that is anything but normal, this emotional roller coaster of a memoir will make you cry, laugh, and rethink the meaning of family.
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JenReadsAlot
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Pickpick

Enjoyable memoir to listen to.

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KarenUK
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Mehso-so

Read for my book club….
#pop23 #setinhollywood

Very interesting story, well written, but I found it quite repetitive. Which is understandable considering the story being told, but just not for me. The repeating pattern of Chysta‘s mum‘s new relationship, moneymaking scheme, crash and burn…. Started to feel like I was stuck in a revolving door, which I‘m sure is how Chrysta felt. But just stopped me loving what I was reading. 🤷‍♀️

squirrelbrain I can imagine how this could be rather repetitive… but at least it ticked off a prompt! 1y
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Amiable
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Mehso-so

What is a “normal” family? Most people would probably reply, “I can‘t say for sure, but definitely not this one.” The author certainly had a unique upbringing. I would have preferred more about the DNA and the 35 siblings she discovered and less about her emotionally unstable mother. The descriptions of the author‘s childhood reminded me of “The Glass Castle,” although it‘s not as well written.

#Nonfiction2023

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Lcsmcat
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Pickpick

My latest #treadmillBook didn‘t usually inspire me to walk longer, but was still interesting. It intersects the DNA testing craze and dysfunctional family memoir, and as such hits the mark. I disagree with those who found the mother the star. To me, it was the author who came across as loving both her parents in spite of the horrible start they gave her, and managing to create a stable, loving family for herself.

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MallenNC
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This was such as fascinating memoir. Chrysta Bilton has anything but a normal family in many ways but she tells the story of her mother and her donor father with a lot of compassion. Her mother is really the star of this book. This was a good follow up having read The Lost Family, about ancestry databases, a couple of years ago.

This was my first book from the #AuldLangSpines list I got from @Cinfhen and it was a winner!

Cinfhen Agreed, her mom was such a fascinating character. Glad this was a pick. I‘ve just started my third book from your list and I‘m really enjoying 2y
monalyisha If I were going to read one or the other (this or Lost Family), which would be your pick? 2y
MallenNC @monalyisha It depends on what you‘re looking for. This one is more of a memoir of an interesting family unit and Lost Family is about the repercussions of DNA testing. @Megabooks and @Cinfhen which would you pick? 2y
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Cinfhen I found this one more compelling @monalyisha less scientific, but both are good. 2y
Megabooks @monalyisha I liked both but prefer lost family just because it‘s more science-y. It just depends on what you‘re in the mood for - narrative nonfiction or memoir. 🤔 2y
monalyisha Sounds like this might be the one for me! Thanks! 2y
MallenNC @monalyisha It‘s fairly short — just 9 hours or so on audio. I hope you enjoy it. 2y
MallenNC @Megabooks Thanks for weighing in. I knew you had read both and I listened to The Lost Family after you reviewed it. 2y
37 likes8 comments
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britt_brooke
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Mehso-so

⭐️⭐️⭐️ I didn‘t find “Donor 150” interesting at all, and have no idea why there would ever be some bizarre family reunion with sperm-donor half siblings, BUT the rest of the story was pretty incredible.

Suet624 Say what???? 2y
Megabooks I agree that he was the least interesting part. 2y
Cinfhen I thought the mom was SUPER FASCINATING!!! I really enjoyed this book - 2y
britt_brooke @Cinfhen The mom was the most interesting piece. She was unique and brilliant in her own way. 2y
78 likes5 comments
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MaggieCarr
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Pickpick

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Total Educated (Tara Westover), American Daughter (Stephanie Thornton Plymale), Hidden Valley Road (Robert Kolker) & Nowhere Girl (Cheryl Diamond) vibes--- absolutely engrossing. With each chapter I think there can't be more to the story but then there is and as it builds and builds you think it can't get more complicated but it does. Wow wow wow. Will absolutely be a top read for 2022 for me.

Chelsea.Poole I agree with all those titles you named as being similar! Great review! 2y
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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

‘Coming of age memoirs that feature nontraditional childhoods‘ —there‘s an entire sub genre of this and Normal Family fits perfectly here. Conceived via AI, in a pretty random fashion, Chrysta‘s childhood is in constant upheaval. Chrysta‘s mother goes through many partners, pets, homes, jobs, and lifestyles. Readers know from the get-go that her father has fathered MANY children who are finding each other via dna testing. A great read.

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Cinfhen
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I DEVOURED this book - even when I wasn‘t listening I was either thinking about it or telling others about it. Much more than just Donor 150‘s story. Chrystal‘s mom was such a dynamic personality- I was enthralled by her. Debra, yearned to have a child, but as a single gay woman in 1980s California, she had few options & still Debra always found a way to get what she wanted. Crazzzzy story - fantastic narration- loved it!!!

Cinfhen Great recommendation @Megabooks if you haven‘t read this yet @britt_brooke YOU MUST!!!! 2y
britt_brooke #stacked Sorry I‘ve been so MIA (again). 2y
ErikasMindfulShelf I‘m so glad you liked it. I won 10 copies of this book for my book club so we will be reading it this November. 2y
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Megabooks So glad you loved it!! It‘s definitely in my top 3 memoirs this year! 2y
Cinfhen That‘s fantastic @ErikasMindfulShelf !!!! It‘s going to make for a great discussion 2y
Cinfhen It might be my favorite memoir this year @Megabooks @britt_brooke 2y
britt_brooke High praise from two of my most reliable: @Cinfhen @Megabooks ! 2y
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Cinfhen
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I think this might be my favorite memoir of the year / you know me so well @Megabooks 💕🙌🏻🎧I‘m HOOKED @Chelsea.Poole #OBSESSED

Chelsea.Poole Eekkk! I need to get around to this one! 2y
Megabooks Yay!!! It was sooo fascinating! 2y
BarbaraBB Sounds great! I missed it somehow! 2y
squirrelbrain Ooh, I want to read this too, after reading The Lost Family, sent to me by @Megabooks 2y
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Cortg
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What a memoir! This is Chrysta‘s story, growing up with a lesbian mom who wanted to have a child. Enter donor 150, before he began donating to the California sperm bank. Dysfunctional, well written, and extremely entertaining. Reminds me a bit of Educated and The Glass Castle.

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paisleyjess
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This is better than a soap opera! A really interesting story about really interesting people that is really well written.

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EvieBee
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If you were to ask what books I most “enjoy,” I‘d say well-executed books like this. Although most families are uniquely dysfunctional, I find it cathartic when I can relate, in whatever small way, to other people. I long for connection, even if simply to acknowledge that we made it, despite how difficult it was.

Highly recommend. I know I‘ll be thinking about it for a long time to come.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½

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JamieArc
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I came across Bilton‘s interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air which led me to this memoir. More the story of Bilton‘s dysfunctional childhood, I went down many rabbit holes about her family - both her sperm donor father (the most requested Donor 150) and her larger-than-life mother. If you‘re interested in intriguing family dynamics, this one is for you.

Christine That Fresh Air episode was so riveting! Had I not already stacked this after listening to that, I would have upon reading your review. 😄 2y
JamieArc @Christine I definitely want to go back and listen to that episode now! I‘ve read a few great books recently that I found out about on Fresh Air. The tagged is another that was really good. 2y
Christine Ooh, I liked that book too! I don‘t really remember, but chances are I heard about it on Fresh Air also! 2y
EvieBee I‘m almost finished with this one, and think it‘s just fab! A lot to take in. 2y
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Megabooks
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You may have read about Donor 150 from the CA Sperm Bank in the NYT or seen the documentary, but he had two daughters from AI before he began donating to the bank. This is three stories: the older daughter‘s unstable life with her moms and sister, her dad coming in and out of it with his slow slide into mental illness, and eventually connecting with some of his dozens of AI children. All are fascinating stories. A must-read for memoir lovers!

BkClubCare What does AI mean here? I am not familiar with this story. 2y
SamAnne Great interview on Fresh Air a week or so ago. 2y
Cinfhen @BkClubCare artificial insemination - book sounds fantastic!! #stacked 2y
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BkClubCare @Cinfhen - aw, NOW that seems obvious 🙀 2y
Cinfhen It‘s hard to know/ guess sometimes @BkClubCare 😁 2y
Megabooks @BkClubCare @Cinfhen damn 451 characters! Thanks for filling in, Cindy. 💜 Yes, artificial insemination. 👍🏻👍🏻 2y
Megabooks @Cinfhen I think you‘d enjoy this one!! 2y
Megabooks @SamAnne oh awesome! 2y
BkClubCare @Cinfhen - asking for anyone else to know, as well! 2y
allureofbeauty Well now I need to read that one. 2y
Chelsea.Poole Eek! Fascinating stuff right here!! Glad to see it‘s a pick for you; I‘m excited for it 😊 2y
Megabooks @allureofbeauty it‘s fantastic! 2y
Megabooks @Chelsea.Poole I think you‘ll really enjoy it. 💯💯 in your wheelhouse!! 2y
78 likes3 stack adds13 comments