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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

Joined April 2016

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one. ~George R.R. Martin.
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The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story by Nikole Hannah-Jones, The New York Times Company
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid!

I hope you are having a good weekend and enjoying these essays by different authors. Some are so very powerful and relatable.

See you in the comments!

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Anyone else thinking of adding Brené Brown to their reading list…as a bunch of essays refer to her work/writing. (edited) 3d
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CatLass007 Brene Brown has been on my radar for the last several months. Because of this book she‘s moved way up on my priority list. If anyone is familiar with her writing, I‘d love some guidance about to read first. 3d
willaful I'm really enjoying the essays. As a fat woman, I relate a lot to the mistrust around medical care, and I enjoyed the free use of the word “crazy,“ because I've trained myself not to use terms other people find disparaging but honestly, crazy is a really meaningful word. 3d
Singout I‘m totally behind, but as a Christian could totally relate to “Love Lifted Me” Not so much from the experience of personal shame, but the description of how Christian cultural groups can have a huge influence on members of their community. The last few sentences about how much better we could do really inspired me. 3d
DebinHawaii @CatLass007 I would start with either The Gifts of Imperfection or Daring Greatly although I am working my way through Atlas of the Heart right now & it‘s also very good. 3d
DebinHawaii I am enjoying the essays as well. I thought Marc Lamont Hill‘s point was very powerful: “It‘s not enough for me to just not be homophobic. I cannot be friends with homophobes. I have to actually be willing to divest myself from relationships that are unhealthy. We all do.” And I really liked The Blues of Vulnerability” too—about making the space to listen to younger people as how we transform & change the world. 3d
CatLass007 @DebinHawaii Thank you.😘 I know there are many who think we shouldn‘t end friendships for “political” reasons. But I have divested myself from relationships because of moral reasons. It‘s not easy but do I really want to be friends with the cousin who thinks that Abraham Lincoln shouldn‘t have started the Civil War and he ruined the country? (edited) 3d
staci.reads @CatLass007 I would recommend Dare to Lead as well 2d
CatLass007 @staci.reads Thank you! 2d
staci.reads In Love Lifted Me, I highlighted "And the sad part is, some of us have so internalized such a skewed and distorted version of our faith tradition that we perpetuate this kind of emotional and spiritual violence on other women. To the point where men no longer have to be the enactors." Across the board, women have to be better at not harming other women with our internalized patriarchial biases. 2d
staci.reads I also appreciated Marc Lamotte Hill calling out men's "expressions of masculine rage" as emotion too and calling out that double standard, highlighting that "as long as our only legible emotion is anger, we are never shamed like women are for their emotions." 2d
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @DebinHawaii Yes! It took me a long time to get there, especially with relatives that I for some reason thought I could not cut out…but eventually I realized that being quiet made them think I agreed, and pushing back with facts did no good, so not hanging around them was the best for all involved. They can be close-minded and bitter without me, I don‘t need it in my life. 🤷‍♀️ now
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful Yes, I‘m finding a lot of this relatable as just a woman myself…not to mention all the other labels people seem to discriminate against. now
willaful @staci.reads Oh very true. Women can be excellent tools of the patriarchy. now
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid!

I hope your weekend is going well….and I hope you are all enjoying this one. See you in the comments ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m “liking” this book. It can be raw, but I really appreciate that. Sometimes the things we keep to ourselves to be strong, are the things we need to share to be human. 1w
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CatLass007 This is a book I would encourage any Black woman to read. I would encourage anyone who has experienced trauma and has experienced shame because of the trauma, to read it. And probably people who provide therapy or counseling. (edited) 1w
staci.reads This has been a great read so far. "We often carry our trama in similar ways, but the roads that led us to the trauma are all so different. We must pay attention to that road. That road is our humanity." What a great passage to help introduce the purpose of the collection of essays! 1w
staci.reads I loved Jason Reynolds's essay. The parallel stories of his grandfather and his mother's hospitalizations and the oak tree metaphors really worked for me. His mother sounds like an amazing woman. 1w
staci.reads I really connected with Channing Brown's essay, too. The discussion of "foreboding joy" felt personal to me, but the next level, the increased awareness the "level of apprehension" [for Black people] "that isn't wrought from an uneasy feeling of undeservedness, but from the knowledge that racism is a silent stalker always willing to wring joy from our lives." Just powerfully stated. 1w
staci.reads Hemphill's piece was filled with highlights for me as well. "It is necessary for your safety that you've know what this world finds dangerous about you." "This country has made a practice of denying the existence of trauma in Black bodies and communities and also denying its own role, ultimately, in traumatizing us." Just a couple that stood out. 1w
DebinHawaii @staci.reads I wrote down that quote on trauma & the roads that led us there too. Very powerful. 1w
DebinHawaii Having read a lot of Brene‘ Brown, her concept of “foreboding joy” has always resonated with me so I found Channing Brown‘s essay especially powerful. 1w
DebinHawaii @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I am liking it too. Very powerful and raw. 1w
Singout I started this two weeks ago, and I‘m listening to it as audios, so it‘s to remember what came from which author, but I am really finding it valuable. Laymon really resonated with me; I found the last one in the set important, but a bit too dense to follow in audio. I loved the passionate and honest dialogue between Tarana Burke and Brené Brown at the beginning. 1w
CatLass007 I like the introduction to new-to-me writers. I‘ve added several to my Audible wish list and now that I have my new glasses I‘m thinking about which books would work better in print. The authors have put a lot of “bang” into these brief essays. 1w
MallenNC I am liking this one too. I haven‘t ever actually read Brene Brown (no reason, I just haven‘t) and was kind of curious about her involvement here so I‘m glad she and Tarana Burke included their conversation in the intro. 1w
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Up Next for #SheSaid!

Put in your library holds and interlibrary loans!

AllDebooks I'm going to skip this one as I can't get hold of a copy. Please keep me on the taglist tho. 3w
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DebinHawaii I put it on hold at my library so 🤞🏼 it comes in! 3w
CatLass007 Please add me to your tag list. I‘ve already got my book and look forward to reading and discussing this with a new group of Littens. I decided to read more nonfiction this year so I‘m signed up for this, #NaturaLitsy2024, and I am pouring over the Bingo card for #Nonfiction2024. Then I looked on Goodreads and discovered I read more nonfiction than I realized in 2023. Now I‘m even more excited to do the two buddy reads and the Bingo challenge. 3w
Singout Just started last night: excellent insights! 3w
staci.reads The Kindle version of this is $4.99 right now. I just got my first Kindle a few days ago, so I was excited to make this one of my first downloads! 2w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads Excellent! I got mine from the library, but might just buy it. I‘m liking this one so far. 2w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AllDebooks & @DebinHawaii On sale on kindle $4.99 if you are interested (edited) 2w
CatLass007 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa What time of day do you usually post discussion questions? Do you tag the group on all or any of the questions? 2w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @CatLass007 yes, I post the tag list every time. And it‘s usually between noon & 1pm East Coast US time. But sometimes it‘s off depending on my weekend plans. 1w
CatLass007 Great! Thank you. 1w
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Hello #SheSaid!

Sorry for the day late post!

Bookwormjillk Sorry Melissa, I bailed on this one. I really wanted to like it! 1mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sorry again for the late post, it‘s been a long January for me. I‘ll be so glad for February. Anyone still plugging along with this book? Finding any kernels to enjoy? 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Bookwormjillk Yes, it sounds like you weren‘t alone there. Sorry I couldn‘t be on the journey either with you on this one to encourage or commiserate either. 1mo
AllDebooks I'm late to start. I liked the 1st chapter. I'll keep going as I really enjoyed Sobel's 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AllDebooks I haven‘t started it yet… long month here 🤷‍♀️ 1mo
AllDebooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa oh dear.I hope you have some time to yourself soon x 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AllDebooks Thank you. I hope so too. Moved my nephew and his girlfriend into my house this month. They are both going to college full time and working full time and were still struggling with rent. Rents are crazy here and their apartment wasn‘t even nice. Then we lost power for a few days with a storm, had frozen pipes to deal with after, and then I came down with Covid.😂 crazy long month. Now just need to help put away all their stuff 😉 1mo
AllDebooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa yikes, that is full-on. How kind of you to take them in. X 1mo
Bookwormjillk @Riveted_Reader_Melissa yikes, hope it gets easier next month! 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Bookwormjillk It will. It was just a crazy one this month.😂 1mo
Smrloomis Wow, hope everyone is finally getting some rest. It‘s tough to study full-time and work full-time too! Rent is insanely high where I live too so I‘m sure they appreciate you taking them in! 1mo
vlwelser I still haven't finished part 2. I'm also recovering from covid. And my company laid off 1650 employees on Friday. One was a direct report. One was a former manager. It's a lot. 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser That is a lot, very emotional and heavy…and worse when you are sick on top of everything else. I hope you start feeling well soon, and that everyone you care about and all the others find good work soon 1mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa That is just so many employees. 1mo
ShelleyBooksie @Riveted_Reader_Melissa - are you doing a 2024 non fiction bingo? 3w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ShelleyBooksie yes, just look under #Nonfiction2024 add template to the end for the blank card 3w
31 likes18 comments
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Hello #SheSaid!

How is everyone doing this weekend? Read picking up any for you? I‘m going to have to skip this one for now and circle back later… moving my nephew and his girlfriend into my house right now so quiet reading time has disappeared for awhile. Hopefully it will settle down again soon and I can catch up again.

vlwelser I'm definitely not finished with part 2 yet. It's interesting but it's also quite boring. It's like a list of activities mare than anything else. Like the author took the facts and added in bits of correspondence. But that 1mo
vlwelser Oops... Is all there is to this. I bet it took an absurd amount of time. A for effort? 1mo
Bookwormjillk I‘m still struggling with this one. I was looking for an audiobook version, but my library doesn‘t have it. I‘ll see how far I can get on kindle tonight. It‘s a shame because the history of science particularly astronomy and physics is one of my favorite subjects, but there just doesn‘t seem to be enough here to make a book. 1mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

Very late post! Sorry I got way behind…. How are you liking this one so far? Please post when you can, sorry I missed Sunday.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa For some reason I remembered this one was 3 parts, and in my mind it was skipping the first Sunday, then 3 weeks. So sorry 1mo
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Bookwormjillk Looking through Litsy I saw I had started this one and bailed once before. It's holding my interest so far this time, but I'm hoping part 2 focuses more on the ladies. 1mo
willaful I read chapter one and just couldn't follow it so I'm not going to continue with the read this month. :-( (edited) 1mo
DebinHawaii I am struggling a bit with it keeping my interest. I made it only through the first 3 chapters this week, but I am going to try to power through before next Saturday & see if I like it better. 1mo
vlwelser I thought it was interesting. It may be a little dry. But I just read a chapter here and there. 1mo
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#Pantone2023 card too for last year, it‘s also not finished… oops 😂…. I blame way to much Zelda this past year! @Clwojick

Clwojick Great job! Thank you for participating!
2mo
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My end of the year #Nonfiction2023! Not a complete card, but boy some great books in there!

And I can see I‘m way WAY behind on reviews 😂. New Years Resolution, go back to reviewing right after I finish or I won‘t get back to it. 🤣

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#Nonfiction2024 is here! And it‘s a big challenge this year.

First, these are not the books you need to read…although if you haven‘t read them, I encourage you to read them.

These are banned books, and they are banned for subject matter they contain that we find objectionable for some reason.

Your challenge is to read a nonfiction book about a similar subject:
Examples below⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ Harry Potter “promotes witchcraft”… maybe a nonfiction book about witches or Salem, too dark for you…maybe a book about Wiccan beliefs. Or go a different direction, a book with an orphan.
~ Reading about anything helps us understand and understanding & empathy diffuses fear.
⤵️
(edited) 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ So take these the way you want…a nonfiction about the core subject, or a tangential connection… not feeling like diving into the tough topics in some books… that‘s ok too….we all need a break from tough topics sometimes too. Maybe instead of diving into topics from Kafka on the Shore, an uplifting book about marine life. A book that includes the Shore, etc 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ Maus… you could go into the history it tries to impart, but if that‘s to heavy, maybe a great book about graphic novel writing, or a something about cats and/or mice. 2mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ As always, your choice! Make it fun for you! Be as creative as you want with your choices…..And tag us as you go! (We all need more suggestions) (edited) 2mo
ChaoticMissAdventures This is a fabulous idea!! I didn't read as much nonfiction as I wanted in 2023 so I need this! 2mo
youneverarrived Amazing idea! 🖤 Looking forward to joining in! 2mo
Deblovestoread Challenge accepted! Love this! ❤️💚❤️ 2mo
AnneCecilie Love this idea. I see several books I haven‘t read and want to read, so I might take this challenge literal. 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AnneCecilie I‘m the same…for some I‘ll probably read the banned book and then a nonfiction book. And as few are non-fiction books, so they could count as themselves too. 😉 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ChaoticMissAdventures @AnnCecilie @youneverarrived and @Deblovestoread Welcome! I try to come up with a theme and board each year. You can just go for bingo or we have a few over-achievers that go for coverall. It‘s all up to what works best for you. Enjoy and have fun with your choices! 2mo
Larkken Interesting! Saving to look into later. Thank you ☺️ 2mo
Singout Thank you! This looks like a really cool structure. And it‘s year five for me! 2mo
peanutnine Wow I love this concept! Excited to take part again in 2024! I read much more nonfiction this year and I'd like to continue. Thanks for putting this together ☺️ 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Singout & @peanutnine You‘re welcome! This year‘s theme came to me much easier than some years….but then again, it has been a year with a lot of new book banning. 🫤 (edited) 2mo
Amiable Oh, how I love this nonfiction bingo challenge! My brain is already in overdrive trying to think of matches. Thanks! 2mo
Zuhkeeyah I love this year‘s theme! 2mo
Zuhkeeyah Should I make a Storygraph challenge for this year‘s prompts? (It was helpful for me when tracking progress on this year‘s caustic theme.) 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Zuhkeeyah if you want to, you definitely can! I am not on Storygraph, but anywhere you want to share it is fine with me. 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Maybe I should check out Storygraph 2mo
willaful Great concept! I've was just thinking today that I really should listen to the audiobook of Born a Crime, so I'll probably do that one literally. 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful That‘s fine too, a few are nonfiction so totally works. And that‘s a really good one. 2mo
willaful @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I read it in print and enjoyed it very much, and then my daughter's high school class listened to the audiobook and it sounded like so much fun, I've been meaning to do it. (I love that for today's kids!) 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful He reads it himself, and being a comedian… he can make even tense things funny when he tells them. 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful Not all books are good as audiobooks, but some like that one are even better because of the Narration. 2mo
kspenmoll Wow. I am proud that I have read all but 3 on the bingo board. It‘s hard to fathom these books are banned in places. Especially Florida… 1mo
CatLass007 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Will you please add me to your tag list? Is there a tag list? 3w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @CatLass007 I do not have a tag list, sorry. I just tag the #Nonfiction2024 and then anyone can search by it. 3w
CatLass007 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Okay. Thanks. I thought that might be the case. It‘s very sad and more than a little bit scary that the number of banned books is even higher than the books on your Bingo card. 3w
CatLass007 I‘ve had Born A Crime in my Audible library since not long after it was released. Sometimes I need a little extra incentive to listen to any given book. 3w
CatLass007 You indicated in your post that there were examples of pairings, but I can‘t find the examples. 3w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @CatLass007 if you open the comments, they were like the first couple comments under the post 3w
CatLass007 Thank you. For some reason I wasn‘t able to find them before and it took me a minute just now. 3w
CatLass007 I feel like I‘m being a nuisance but I‘ve never done this challenge before. Or any challenge for that matter. I understand the challenge and I‘m very excited about it. But I have no idea how to put a picture of a book I‘ve read on the Bingo card. Make sense? Do you use an app like PicCollage? If that‘s the particular app I need to use, I‘m screwed, because I don‘t find it intuitive at all. Any advice you can provide would be appreciated. (cont)⬇️ 3w
CatLass007 I hate to be one of those people who needs handholding to perform a task that others find as easy as pie. 3w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @CatLass007 You are fine! First rule, there are no bad questions! If we don‘t ask, we can‘t learn anything new. I take a screenshot of the book cover, usually on Goodreads, crop it as a photo so it‘s just the cover, then use a free app called GoDaddy Studio (formerly Over), that just lets me layer 1 picture overtop the other. I‘m sure there are many others that do the same. 3w
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @CatLass007 and it‘s only easy as pie once you played with it once or twice. 3w
CatLass007 Thank you. I appreciate your information and encouragement. 3w
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Up Next for #SheSaid!

Put in your library holds and inter-library loans for January….and until then, Happy Holidays!

31 likes4 comments
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Hello #SheSaid!

Can‘t wait to discuss this in the comments!

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I will admit, I was initially disappointed by the ending, even though it was the ending I did not want, but sort of expected. But!!!! As an allegory for how a community can self police and non-conformers to the new “way” can hide “illegal” things and eventually be hidden themselves…was so good for a look at how fascism states grow and thrive as everyone conforms that wants to fit-in, that they eventually throw their own things away, burn ⤵️ (edited) 2mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ burn them, and a few hide and treasure them but are then hunted as criminals for that resistance. But as they conform and give in, they really lose pieces of themselves and fade, every time they go “that‘s just the way it is” and allow more and more to be wiped away, intentionally not talked or thought about, no longer mentioned or discussed…they fade further themselves into the background. (edited) 2mo
MallenNC I just finished this today so I‘m still thinking about what I got from it. I also wanted to know Why? this was happening but I had prepared myself to not get answers. I agree with your take. I also think it was saying as everyone accepted losing more and more, eventually they lost themselves all together. I‘d love to read about the story within the story and how it parallels what‘s happening in her world. 2mo
MallenNC I‘m glad to have read this. It‘s different from what I typically read for sure. 2mo
DebinHawaii I am still unpacking this one as well. It wasn‘t the ending I wanted either but the writing is beautiful & your point about being an allegory for fascism & conformity is spot on. And also the losing of one‘s self as @MallenNC said. 2mo
MallenNC @DebinHawaii I wanted to know why it was happening but I don‘t think any reason the author provided would have worked completely so I‘m coming around to that. I may read or listen to this one again, which I don‘t do a lot. Just to see what connections I can make on a second time around. 2mo
mhillis I read this book back in 2020, and at that time, this article really got me thinking https://slate.com/culture/2020/03/memory-police-ogawa-coronavirus-social-distanc... 2mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

I don‘t know about you, but the more they all forget, the more questions I have come to mind… I‘m really curious where and how this story will end!

MallenNC I‘m liking this book even though I‘m prepared to be frustrated at the end. I want to know why this disappearance/forgetting is happening. What are the people in charge trying to do here? But it‘s got me hooked. 2mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Same! Will they all just forget themselves and everything and disappear 🤷‍♀️ Is it really something on the island only and the police are trying to contain it from spreading and therefore interested in the genes of those that don‘t forget and studying them while not letting others leave 🤷‍♀️. I can not figure it out yet…. But that‘s a good thing too sometimes. Sometimes predictable is boring 😂 2mo
MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I definitely cannot figure it out. I don‘t read a lot of speculative fiction so I can‘t guess. It‘s an interesting concept for sure. And now there‘s the story within the story from the MC‘s book, which is also trying to tell us something I‘m sure. 2mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Yes, all her books are about disappearing things too… so very interesting. And now she is talking about how her houseguest is “fading” too. It‘s hard to say to much without giving anything away to those further behind in the book. 2mo
MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa yes! I don‘t want to spoil either. 2mo
DebinHawaii It‘s very intriguing for sure. I am hoping at the end it does come together with some explanation but sometimes in speculative fiction you don‘t get that. 2mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

How are you “enjoying” our fiction this month? It‘s a nice change from non-fiction, but I‘m not sure enjoying is quite right. 😱 so far I‘m sucked into it though, very curious on where it‘s going next.

Bookwormjillk I read this last December for #AuthorAMonth and you‘re right- enjoy isn‘t the word. But I did find it fascinating. 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa I liked the set up, and the slow build, despite being dystopian it‘s an easy read and page turner. Sometimes the international novels (just like foreign films) for me are so interesting because it‘s not the same idea/formalaic/predictable course you‘ve see a bunch before, they take things in a different way. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Bookwormjillk fascinating is a good word. 3mo
vlwelser I already read this last year but I'm going to spy on you all if that's ok. 🤗😘 3mo
MallenNC This is different than what I usually read but I am liking it. It took me a couple of tries to really start reading it but now I want to know what happens. This week‘s section ended in a good place — it seems like the story is really getting started at that point. 3mo
monkeygirlsmama Intrigued by the synopsis. Stacking this! 3mo
DebinHawaii I agree with the fascinating part & yes, it‘s hard to say “enjoy” about a dystopian story but it is definitely drawing me in & making me think & ask lots of questions already. 3mo
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Up Next #SheSaid!

Sorry for the late schedule post!

Are we ready for some fiction?

DebinHawaii I bought this one the other day at my indie bookstore. Looking forward to reading it! 3mo
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willaful I can't find it at the library, so I guess I'll skip this month. 3mo
Smrloomis I really liked this one so hope everyone else likes it too!! 3mo
KathyWheeler I‘ve already read this one. I probably won‘t reread it since it wasn‘t that long ago but I‘ll try to join the discussion. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful Interlibrary loans are great, it might not work out for this one, but it‘s a great service you could try in the future if you‘ve never tried it before, I highly recommend. 3mo
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Hello #SheSaid! Sorry for the late post, got distracted with the family this long holiday weekend here in the US. I hope you all are having a great weekend wherever you are AND enjoying the end of this book.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I liked this one, I know a few of you found it repetitive with things we‘ve read previously, but I still felt like I got something from it. I liked the mix of stories, personal antedates, studies, and how she brought it all together. For me, how our unconscious brain works and developed through evolution to other outside groups as dangerous in ways we don‘t even realize was new, and knowing makes it easier to question those instincts. ⤵️ (edited) 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ so for me, still insightful beyond the history of how it came about as a tool of imperialism and colonialism and economic gain & labor windfall…. That biological part was still interesting, & to me, important for how so many went along for so long and still do with easy superficial categorization & prejudices. All that fake science, inferiority of the other, justification history… when some of the glitch is in our own mental processing. 3mo
willaful The perspectives from people who'd been present during the Charlottesville rally was really interesting to me. But I was uncomfortable with the many, unquestioned, instances of white people burdening black people with their guilty feelings. The author is really a lot more middle-of-the-road than I am. 😂 3mo
Julsmarshall I didn‘t get to this one, but I hope to in the future. Thanks for sharing your perspectives, all! 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful Yes! I found myself wondering if that was the scientist in her or the I want this to be read & relatable to a white public so tilt it their way objective. 🤷‍♀️. Funny how the more you read, the more you think about those kinds of angles. 3mo
willaful Yes, I don't know if it was deliberate but I can definitely see her “sandwiching“ the less palatable sections between an easier beginning and ending. 3mo
vlwelser Ultimately I really liked this because it was very readable. That chapter on Charlottesville was very interesting. I liked that the people she interviewed came from diverse backgrounds. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful Yes, some of that might have been editing somewhere, I‘m always curious about some of that and where those choices come in. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall Get to it when you can if you want, sometimes it‘s all in reading it at the right time for you. 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid! Here‘s our schedule for the rest of the year AND Nominations Are Open for the rest of next year!

Please add your nominations to the comments section!

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m going to reread Wild by Cheryl Stayed in the near future, if anyone else is interested, we could read together. 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa I really found Kate Manne‘s Down Girl interesting, but I still haven‘t picked up the next book Entitled. 3mo
AllDebooks Hmm🤔 Anything by Cordelia Fine such as Testerone Rex, Delusions of gender, A mind of its own; Everybody by Olivua Laing, Hagitude by Sharon Blackie, 3mo
Bookwormjillk I read (and enjoyed) the Memory Police but count me in to the rest. I‘ll start reserving books now so I can interact more with the discussions next year. 3mo
willaful @AllDebooks I'm listening to Doppelganger, it's amazing. 3mo
AllDebooks @willaful I adore Naomi Klein, she's so good 3mo
vlwelser Doppelganger and Wild both get my vote. 3mo
Deblovestoread Please remove me from your tag list. I might pop in if you read I book I already own. 2024 is the challenge of filling prompts with owned books for me. 3mo
Singout My rather long to-read list includes Highway of Tears, Sitting Pretty, Unsettling Spirit, People Love Dead Jews, In Defense of Witches, Run Towards the Danger, The Future Is Disabled. 3mo
MallenNC I hope to keep up with our picks in 2024! A suggestion is 3mo
KathyWheeler I am having a real problem reading that font. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KathyWheeler I changed it…better? 3mo
TheKidUpstairs This one sounds great too, one of NPR's Books of the Year 3mo
MallenNC @TheKidUpstairs I suggested that one too. It sounds great for us! 3mo
MallenNC I don‘t know if there‘s still time to nominate but this one sounds really interesting 3mo
staci.reads I don't know if nominations are still open, but I just heard about this one. 2mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid! How are you doing this week?

See you in the comments 😉

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m all caught up this week 😂. How is everyone else doing? I saw a great show on This Week with John Oliver on YouTube (it was old, but I saw it this week). I‘ll post it below for an easy copy & paste. It was about AI, but how we are programming our biases into it …seemed so relevant with this book that it stuck with me. (edited) 3mo
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AllDebooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa that is an interesting piece from John Oliver. I have to say that reading this book has made me take a step back and think about my own biases. It's a good read, but I do find it repetitive 3mo
vlwelser @AllDebooks is it repetitive itself or repetitive because we already read a lot of these books? 3mo
vlwelser I love that she tells these stories that we are already familiar with through her own lens and brings new perspective to this. But this isn't exactly ground breaking. I like that it's incredibly easy to read. The chapters are long but I don't feel bored. 3mo
AllDebooks @vlwelser I find her writing repetitive, labouring over the same points. It could have been a much shorter book with a good edit. I don't mind repeated topics in books at all. Another's pov could always bring a new perspective. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AllDebooks @vlwelser I think some of it is because the book originally came out in 2019, and if we had read it then it would have been very new… but we‘ve read others written since then covering similar ground. Despite all of that though, I‘m still finding some of the studies and insights informative. Just the little studies of writing critiques differently, with a change in the post-it note example…and how that fed down through work and ⤵️ 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ perception and outcomes. Such small changes that you think mean little, can produce such big dividends. 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sone of those studies I‘m still finding very interesting, and somewhat hopeful that our little things do (can) make a difference, especially in a world where you feel like your little part doesn‘t amount to much so some people go why bother 3mo
willaful It's actually making me think about my biases in a different direction. 😲 For example, when she talked to the administrator who started to cry, my immediate reaction was “oh great, white woman tears!“ But the administrator genuinely learned from the situation and sought to change. 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid!

I‘m a bit behind, please feel free to start without me, and I‘ll check back later today when I catch up 🤷‍♀️ So sorry….my Saturday reading time disappeared yesterday somehow.

vlwelser I don't know if I'm more horrified by the Boston thing or the ape thing. But her class at the prison made me hopeful. 3mo
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vlwelser This is really well written but nothing so far has exactly blown my mind. It sort of reaffirms things we already know or have already read about. 3mo
AllDebooks @vlwelser I agree, although I was surprised about the facial recognition facts. I do find some areas repetitive at times. 3mo
willaful I was more engaged with this section than the first chapters. I felt like she was finally getting into some of the nitty gritty that it seemed like she'd been pussy-footing around. Perhaps to ease people into what she has to say?

The prison class section I thought was pretty powerful. Really gives a sense of how much people *lose* from being incarcerated that the bald facts don't convey.
3mo
willaful I'm also currently reading Let This Radicalize You, which has a chapter on how people organize and provide mutual aid in prison. It makes a really good companion read to this. 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid!

I wasn‘t sure how this one would be, super dense studies and theory, or more readable?

I‘m finding it a great mix of both, very readable, but with studies and great examples to back up the concepts to make it easy to understand.

How‘s everyone else doing with our newest selection?

And how about that question/conversation with her son… heartbreaker 😞

vlwelser This is very interesting. Both stories about her sons are so interesting. Especially from the perspective of a bias researcher with black sons. Our society is kind of a mess. This is so readable. Even the boring study parts. 4mo
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Becker This book has been recommended to me on several occasions. Maybe it‘s time to pick it up! 4mo
Singout Yes, the story about her small son recognizing “fear” in White people went right to the gut. I found the opening parts about physical differences in the brains of people who‘ve had different experiences intriguing too. 4mo
MallenNC I got this late from the library so I‘ve only read the introduction so far. I‘m interested in what she‘s going to cover so I hope I‘ll be able to catch up this week. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Yes! We are such a mess…and that messiness seems to be boiling to the surface more and more 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Becker Time to read with us! It‘s very good so far, and not very long or difficult to read. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Singout Yes! And the one in the beginning, about asking if the black guy on their trip…he looked like daddy, but was he there to rob. Those things are such opposites and so telling especially when coming from an innocent child whose perception is all what we as a society have put in there. So heartbreaking to me. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Singout Yes, I found it interesting that beliefs about if people were set in their ways or could change, effected how their brain processed faces. Very interesting that no matter how much is baked in, some is our individual openess verses closed off. (edited) 4mo
willaful I was really interested in the section about how white actors respond negatively to black actors in shows, even when they're playing positive roles. I'd love to see more reaearch about that.

But the book is making me a bit uncomfortable... I guess because I'm more radical than the author, and like she does herself, wonder if the workshops she gives are of any use at all. I don't know if she has any info or statistics to back up her work.
(edited) 4mo
AllDebooks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa this is incredible. It's really making me think about how I or my children interact. And that's exactly the effect I would want. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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My thought for the day: Tolkien does such a good job ending each book and internal book with cliffhangers. And making you wait through another whole internal book until you get back to that cliffhanger and those characters as he shifts focus back & forth. I couldn‘t help but think of a few authors now, who have left series uncompleted because they got busy with TV show adaptions or prequel series or real life. ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ Just imagine if Tolkien had gotten busy and never wrote Return of the King, left Frodo where he lay…. or just left it hanging at the Black Gate. And he wrote through some very trying times too: World Wars, not to mention paper shortages, to name a few. In many ways we are very lucky that he persevered to finish this trilogy, so we can still be reading & enjoying it today. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa #FellowshipOfTheRing #LOTRChapterADay @Daisey @JazzFeathers @wordslinger42 @BookwormAHN @tdrosebud and sorry, I know I‘m missing one of our original group from way back…sorry 4mo
BookwormAHN If you have ever watched the cartoon version of the Lord of The Rings, it ends around the Two Towers so I can imagine and I agree how persistent he was and how lucky we are. 4mo
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JazzFeathers Cliffhanger is an art, in my opinion. I've seen it done very badly, where you think, 'Oh, come on! You really want to sell me the next book!' But Tolkien is different. He really built the story that way. I once heard that this is not the way to organise a story. I bag to dissent 😁 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @JazzFeathers I was thinking of the big epics today, like Game of Thrones… which if left where it is and unfinished will basically cement it here forever, no carry over to future reading, etc. By leaving them unfinished, you are basically dooming them to be a one time read, and stuck. Whereas a great epic well done, a Tolkien, even a Harry Potter can be reread over generations. ↩️ (edited) 3mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa …a cliffhanger well done is a treasure and statement… it could go either way after that really, how can “even an author” get them out of that. And in some cases, I think their authors don‘t know either so don‘t finish. 🤷‍♀️ (edited) 3mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Post 2: The text to go with the map in post 1

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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I read the first chapter of the long ride to Gondor, and then I had to dig out my map book and share a few pictures. I‘m still amazed that someone plotted & mapped out the entire journey, but I love it.

Post 1: The map
See Post 2: The text

JazzFeathers You know, l realised something. Tolkien was a signaler during the war, and as such, he worked with maps and people moving on the ground. When we first read HoME l though, what? Scaled maps? Who knows how to do that? But then l realised it must have been quite familiar to him. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @JazzFeathers Another great connection! I love that we are still finding them after all this time. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Up Next for #SheSaid in November!

Put in your library holds and interlibrary loans!

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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I‘m flipping around the tv this weekend & passed a show on cryptids… creatures that may be myth or real. I stopped immediately as they were showing Shelob on the screen at the time, then Aragog and discussing giant spiders and the stories passed down about this monster myth in stories by the locals for ages. Who knew Shelob descendants infested both Mirkwood & the Congo 🤷‍♀️😂 There are even grainy videos like with Sasquatch & Nessie. J‘ba Fofi😱

BookwormAHN Personally I'd rather run into Bigfoot than Shelob next time I'm in the Congo 😸 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BookwormAHN Right! 😂 I‘d never heard of it before, but I‘d never want to meet that one. But I had to share, LOTR, Monster stories for Halloween 👻 4mo
JazzFeathers @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Oh, wow! Isn't it fascinating how some stories are common or similar in very different places of the world? There must be something there 🤔 @BookwormAHN 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @JazzFeathers The human mind is really fascinating….. and scary 😂 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Hello #SheSaid!

How is your weekend going? Another book done way to soon.

So how did you like the last section? The book as a whole?

MallenNC I didn‘t connect that much with the final essay but I‘m still thinking about some of the earlier ones. That‘s how essay collections usually are for me. Some work better than others. “Intrusions” was excellent. 4mo
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Julsmarshall I thought this was powerful, sad, sometimes shocking and so well written. I‘m so glad I read along with you, I‘m not sure I would have picked it up otherwise. (edited) 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall Same here. I hadn‘t even heard of it before it was recommended here. So it wasn‘t even on my radar or my endless to be read wishlist. So thankful to whoever recommended it. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC The final essay was different, but I think it worked well as an ending. The idea that nature could shift so much and gut out a landscape, but what is left is extremely unique and beautiful after that destruction. It reminded me a bit of Wild by Cheryl Strayed… the destruction hurts, but maybe coming out the other side, you have to accept that maybe you wouldn‘t change anything, because you wouldn‘t be who you are without that ⤵️ 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ that happening. Without going through it. I think the landscape was a bit of a metaphor for her life, a time of gutting and destruction, but creating a unique her that is better after than before. I need to reread Wild soon, it‘s been on my mind lately for some reason. 4mo
vlwelser I loved this. Her writing is excellent. Like she's brilliant but has also experienced some pretty unusual things. But also a lot of the standard female issues. Just thinking about how a decision to say no is such a weighted thing from a female perspective. Like we have to factor in potential violence on top of everything else. 4mo
vlwelser I have read another of her books previously so it was definitely already on my radar. Is Wild a good one for a group read/reread? I haven't read it. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Oh, I‘d love to read/reread it with the group. I‘ll have to see if the others are interested. Did you see my separate post about the dangers of saying No that came up in the news right after we read about it? Jordan VanDerSloot admitting to killing Natalee Holloway after all these years in part of a plea agreement. They were kissing on the beach, he pushed for more, she said no, he continued anyway, she fought back, he murdered her⤵️ 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ talk about a tale as old as time, and one I think women know in that hindbrain instinctual subconscious way, even if we don‘t talk about it or say it. Or society thinks we are crazy for saying yes to things we don‘t really want, the go along to get along thing, empty yeses. Truly very sad 4mo
vlwelser That is so sad and horrible. And unfortunately not as uncommon as it should be. I did see your post. I had a best friend that died in a violent interaction with a guy when we were teens. It's still awful. Even all these years later. 4mo
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This scene at the crossroads always reminds me of this Shelley poem.

They are literally and figuratively at the crossroads, and the “easy way back” wouldn‘t be as easy as they think since the legions of Mordor march towards Gondor and war…and are between them and their friends. And would lead to the doom of all.

And right here Tolkien places this scene, a scene that alludes to this poem in my mind, ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ the greatness of the past, the greatness of men broken in the past, gone forever from Middle Earth. But, he adds this little touch, a crown of flowers recrowning the king, changing the image from one of lost ruined greatness, to a hint of a new greatness growing and flowering right before our eyes. (edited) 4mo
JazzFeathers Beautifully said, @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I think this is the first time that l really feel that moment of passage, that watershed. The hopeful image of the crown of flowers shining in the sun really touched me, this time. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Mid-week here #SheSaid!

Anyone see the new VanDerSloot confession in Natalee Halloway‘s murder. Talk about the empty consent we (mostly women give) because deep down we know where a “No” might lead us. Talk about a stark reminder why “No” is tough, and dangerous to say. 😱

diovival I hadn't heard. This is so sad. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @diovival Basically kissing on the beach, he pushes for more, she says no to more, he persisted, she refused & she fought back, so he killed her. So sad and pointless (even if you believe him, and that‘s up for some debate)…. But ties back into why women often say yes and go along to get along, when they don‘t really want to, because no‘s are not received well…and deep down we know that our “no” could turn very ugly….so we say yes even when ⤵️ 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ we really don‘t want to. And the last chapter of this book was about empty consent, saying yes and being uncomfortable just to make the other person happy. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Hello #SheSaid!

How are you this weekend?

This book continues to make me think in all the right ways, and regret some ways in which I have not been Taking Care of Myself because I didn‘t feel that it was the right thing to do at the time. Disturbing the more you actually think about it, isn‘t it? That good girl, take care of everyone but yourself syndrome. How do we get out of that spiral of feeling responsible for everyone else‘s feelings?

vlwelser I have so many duh moments when reading her essays. I like that she sort of hits us in the face with the obviousness of the things she is pointing out. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa And…anyone else add the book about the girlfriend experiment to their “to read” list? It made me think of a movie I recently saw on Hulu called Robots. Where they make Robots (illegally) that look like them to fulfill all the relationship parts they hate so they can just be present for the parts they like. The guy had his robot show up for all the dating, he just shows up for the sex. The lady shows up for all the dating, sends her ⤵️ 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ robot for the sex. (It‘s rated R, and a romantic comedy, just FYI 😂). Things go astray when their robots fall in love and ditch them both. 🤷‍♀️ But anyway it made me think of this book she mentioned that I added to my “to read” list…sending someone else, a stand in, to do the socially required things that are too much for you. (edited) 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Exactly! We do much unconsciously, are socialized to do it, that we don‘t even think about how messed up it is really. Then she says it and your like …yes! Wow, that is insane that we do that…and to protect ourselves from something worse most likely. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa It also made me think about the Aziz Ansari scandal that came out after Me Too (the internet version), where an allegation was made by a women saying (if I recall correctly) basically pressured for sex, had sex to avoid anything worse. But it was discussed for a long time after as he didn‘t know anything was wrong because she didn‘t leave. 4mo
MallenNC The essay about the cuddle party rules and her reactions there was really thought provoking. And I had never heard the term “empty consent” before but I think many people have experienced that. In the first essay all I could think about was how sad I‘d be if my mom and I mixed up our trip dates like that. She does a good job of mixing the personal with broader topics. 4mo
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I may be late, and left my handkerchiefs behind… but I finally made it to Book 4! #LOTRChapteraDay #FellowshipOfTolkien

JazzFeathers Yayyyy!!! Where are you, now? My hobbits have just met Fatamir (and l need to catch up with my posts 🙄) 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @JazzFeathers Still here….long week. Hopefully I can read some this weekend. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @JazzFeathers just past the Oliphaunt poetry, but haven‘t seen one yet. Preparing some stewed rabbit. 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Hello #SheSaid How is everyone doing this weekend?

Discussion begins below ⬇️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m still getting a lot from this book. It‘s all good, but what is sticking today is the end of that last essay…a long time ago, I don‘t think about it anymore… but you do this this this and this as part of your routine now. Even the bad things we bury, pretend don‘t effect us, that everyone else brushes off because nothing “really” happened (that child case of voyeurism 🤮 as petty robbery) still effects deeply. 4mo
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MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I think that last essay, Intrusions, was the best one yet. I think many if not most women have experienced similar “intrusions” into our ability to just live our lives. It made me think about the meme about all the preparations women go though when leaving home, thinking of whether it is the safest time, considering their route, if they have their charged phone, etc. and then it says the man just grabs his keys and leaves. 4mo
vlwelser Intrusions was very on point. She's making me think about this stuff and reflect rather than just accepting it all as normal. 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Right…we already know about all the unpaid labor that (usually) women need to do, to make society run… now add in all that mental energy just to go about your daily activities because it‘s all on you…. For leaving your window curtains cracked, living in that house (you need to move ….really how many have moved), what you wear, could it be perceived as asking for it. Just thinking about that is exhausting, and we do it mostly ⤵️ 4mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Unconsciously every day. Just imagine if all that time and energy was directed elsewhere. And really, where do the men in my life get off expecting me to remind them of birthdays and anniversaries because I‘m better at that stuff 🤪 4mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Hello #SheSaid!

How is everyone doing today?

Ready to discuss this new book?

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Hello, sorry for the delay. I got the intro and first chapter read, not the second yet. Sorry. But so far…wow, not what I was expecting, but very good. How is it working for you so far? Shocking? Lots of truth buried in there? It wasn‘t what I was expecting, but those were my first two feelings….what did I get myself into, and wow that is a the division between childhood & girlhood that I‘ve never seen spelled out like that before. ⤵️ (edited) 5mo
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vlwelser This book is so good so far. I really like her writing style. The "slut" essay was epic. I love that she uses different source types to prove her point. A novel, a story, a movie, interviews, history and her own narrative. I probably missed some. 5mo
vlwelser 😂 I hope I didn't ruin the second chapter. 5mo
vlwelser I've read her before and this is exactly what I was hoping it would be. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ that the world suddenly shifts and changes around you and you are sort of left to figure it out all over again from scratch and nothing from before is the same or works the same way. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser nope you can talk about it all! 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I like her writing style too 5mo
MallenNC This wasn‘t what I expected from the title either. She‘s a good writer for sure and like @vlwelser I appreciate her use of different media for her points. The Mirror Test one reminds me of Word Slut. It‘s a little too much like an English major‘s dissertation in parts but I liked it overall. 5mo
Julsmarshall I‘m waiting on this from the library, as soon as my hold comes through, I‘ll be digging in! 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser all caught up now, and I agree…reminded me of Wordslut too, and I didn‘t mind, I liked that book. I really liked her comparisons of labeling women as “sluts” or “witches” and how that serves patriarchy “society”. I also liked her last line about she didn‘t want to take back that word, because it wasn‘t ever ours. I also liked that she mentioned the current obsessions with things being a “witch hunt” I‘ve thought of that myself a lot⤵️ 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ lately, as it has become a commonly repeated refrain by some. They have no idea 🙄 to what they are referring, accused witches in witch hunts never had the platform, soapbox, listenership, power, whatever you want to call it that the people in power using that please now have. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ I feel like we are watching yet another shift in our language in front of our eyes, as that phrase and it‘s meaning is being co-opted and shifted right now. (edited) 5mo
vlwelser We read Wordslut together maybe? But it was a while ago. That book definitely makes me think about language a lot. Even now. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser yes, I still need to read her other book too …. And soon 5mo
vlwelser Cultish was also good. But read the print. She doesn't read the audio on it and it's somehow less fulfilling. 5mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
Girlhood | Melissa Febos
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Up next for #SheSaid!

Put in your library holds and interlibrary loans!

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid!

See you all in the comments ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I really got a lot out of this book and her sharing her story. I hope you all did too. For me I think the honesty part, the sharing your story instead of feeling shame and hiding it…is the best takeaway. Hiding it only helps abusers to carry on. 5mo
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DebinHawaii I also got a lot out of it. It‘s moving & powerful & it made me think. I read a lot of Brene‘ Brown & was happy to see her in the acknowledgements & her blurb for the book back. She teaches vulnerability is power & that shame survives with secrecy, silence & judgement so it mirrors Tarana‘s message of sharing your story. What an amazing & strong person Tarana is! Thank you for hosting. 5mo
MallenNC I really liked this book. It sometimes feels weird to say I enjoyed a book about someone‘s traumatic life experiences but I liked how she told her story. I thought it would focus more on what happened after the MeToo hashtag went viral but I appreciated that instead she really told her own story. I‘m glad to have read it. 5mo
mhillis Thank you @Riveted_Reader_Melissa for hosting! I listened to the audiobook which was amazing. Tarana‘s commitment to community left an impression on me. The way the book was structured really showed her journey. 5mo
psalva I found this to be really powerful and moving. The way that Burke writes about her journey was very effective and it made me see how powerful language can be for good and bad. This was a great pick! 5mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

How‘s the weekend going for everyone!

This book is going to fast for me, I hope it is treating you all well too.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa It‘s such a tough read, but she writes it so well. You can feel the struggle to both comfort others and be unable to because you can‘t do that for yourself yet. That‘s such a hard thing to explain, and she does it so well. You feel for her and those she feels like she is letting down by not being able to talk about it. I hope Heaven reads this book somewhere along the way and understands. 5mo
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DebinHawaii Yes I felt so sorry for both of them in that chapter—Heaven for not knowing why & Tarana for her guilt about not being able to help. It‘s not an easy read but it is a powerful one. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @DebinHawaii Yes.. my heart ached for both of them…so tough. 5mo
MallenNC The chapter about Heaven was so sad! Even though I totally understood why Tarana didn‘t feel able to help her. The chapter about feeling betrayed by the 21C leader was tough too. I‘m looking forward to reading the rest of her story. This has been a very engaging book. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Yes, that one felt like a cliff-hanger. And you just know it‘s going to end badly. There is that time in every young adults life, where you realize your parents are just humans and make mistakes too and don‘t know it all. But then there is a later time, where whoever you picked as your role model falls off the pedestal you put them on too. The first is growing up, the second I think is harder because you choose them ⤵️ 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa As your model of behavior, success, doing it right, whatever it was.. you picked them, and elevated them, and wanted to be like them…so when they aren‘t what you thought, it‘s tough 5mo
mhillis Agreed, this book has been giving me a lot to think about. Heaven was a poignant chapter. I think teachers and others who work with young people would benefit from reading it. Thanks for the recommendation @Riveted_Reader_Melissa 5mo
staci.reads @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I had that same thought...I hope Heaven reads this. The devastation she must have felt in that moment would be hard to come back from - hard to trust again. 5mo
staci.reads When Tarana writes about her daughter and Malik, I felt her terror. I hope she was able to find the words Kaia needed to process what happened or that she found her someone who could. 5mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Hello #SheSaid! How is your weekend going?

I‘m enjoying this read, the chapters are short but she has a way of writing about her childhood that just draws me in, and she does such a great job showing how little things said and done OR not said when they should have been…can effect children and their sense of self so much. It‘s very powerful.

MallenNC I‘m really liking this one, which is funny to say since she‘s writing about traumatic experiences. In this section I thought a lot about the positive impact people made in her life. From reading Maya Angelou and seeing herself, to getting selected for the organization that eventually led her to college. 5mo
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staci.reads I appreciate the way she walks the reader through her experience with Phenomenal Woman and its role in processing her trauma. Her last sentence, "How could a body that holds that kind of pain also hold joy?" feels pivotal. 5mo
staci.reads The section Indelible was rough to read. Her experiences with her gynecologist and her relationship with her mother didn't give her any outlet to share her experiences and her pain. It's incredible that she would go on to lead a movement that empowers women to be open about their pain and trauma. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC The part about reading Maya Angelou…made me think about our current debates yet again about banning books (to protect the innocent children 🙄), the children are innocent, but sometimes they really need to read stories that contain trauma and tough issues so they know they are not alone in the world with theirs. 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads Yes, again. So much that ends up cutting off communication instead of enabling it. So sad really. 5mo
DebinHawaii @staci.reads I agree. I think of how traumatic my first gynecologist visit felt & I was prepped by my mom & older sisters on what would happen, so I can only imagine going into it without that knowledge & support. 5mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

How is everyone this weekend?

I‘m all caught up this week, and finished my last SheSaid book too. 😂

See you in the comments! ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m really into this book right away, the content is tough, but so important…how that shame, which really isn‘t the victim‘s at all but is made theirs and keeps them silent. I was hooked with the first chapter, and how when the hashtag exploded she was worried about her project and mission, until she saw it helping people too….such a great insight into how easily appropriation can happen and run away….and it made me equally glad that (edited) 6mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa … in this case, create was given where credit was due. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa I was struck in this first section about how we teach young girls, not to mess around, not to be out late, not to let anyone touch their private parts….all rules for those preyed upon, that if the worst happens, makes them feel they failed, are bad, shame, their fault. But I find myself thinking…do we teach the opposite…do not touch other people‘s private parts, putting the emphasis on the bad behavior and any guilt on the perpetrators. 6mo
MallenNC I am caught up this time too! I like this writing style, it is very engaging despite the difficult topic. I really felt for her anxiety when the hashtag took off and then appreciated how she came to terms with it because it was helping so many people find their voices. 6mo
MallenNC My thoughts about what we teach girls about “protecting their virtue” actually makes girls more likely to keep it secret when someone hurts them, because they don‘t want anyone to know. I. Looking forward to seeing how her work grows. 6mo
kspenmoll I read this when it came out- definitely thought provoking. . 6mo
staci.reads It hooked me right away too. The first chapter hits hard with her openness about her belief that she is ugly. To encounter with that kind of meanness so early...how does one ever recover? 6mo
staci.reads I am in awe of the bravery she has to open up and share her experiences with rape and sexual abuse. I wonder how long it took her to do that and what it took to get her to that place. I'm assuming that's the journey we're about to go on with her. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC It makes them the responsible party. To protect it or fail to protect it. It‘s all on them either way. Patriarchy & blaming the victim is so infuriating when you really look look at it and think about what we are saying. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC plus add on the responsibility of protecting the family by not telling, because you know the man of the house isn‘t capable of containing his anger…so it‘s on you (the child) to protect him from the consequences of his choices too. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads I really liked that first chapter… and how it tackled the feeling that her phrase, that she had been using for awhile, had been co-opted by others…and the fear that they might use it in a way that hurt that phrase, that mission, and her intention to help others with it. And you really have no control of it. I think that was explained so well. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa And as much as this sounds wrong too, I have to give Alyssa Milano some credit, for once it was recognized as someone else‘s…. She acknowledged that and gave credit back to its source. I don‘t think she meant to “steal” it in the way so much intellectual property is stolen (especially virtually)… but my recollection is that she quickly corrected any miss-crediting to her and gave credit to Burke. Maybe we will hear how that came about too. 6mo
psalva These first couple of chapters are so well done. I was really struck by the explanation of how the rules she was taught made her shift the blame for what happened to her onto herself. Also, the statement that “Unkindness is a serial killer.” Yes! Words have consequences and what we tell and teach young people is so important. Her explanation of how language affected her experiences is something too often ignored. Such powerful writing so far! 6mo
DebinHawaii Very powerful while still engaging writing. I agree that we spend too much time teaching all the rules to young girls & not nearly enough time with teaching the perpetrators of the behavior rules too. The “boys will be boys” mentality while the girls & women get all of the blame & shame. It makes me so angry! 🤬 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @DebinHawaii Yes, exactly. Very different ways we teach them….and expect things of them. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @psalva I agree there…she did a great job explaining that wounds heal, but words crawl into your head & psyche and stay there eating away at you. 6mo
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Next up for #SheSaid in September

Put in those library holds & interlibrary loans!

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The Sum of Us: What racism costs everyone….I‘m using for the prompt: Strange Fruit. It is definitely a sanitized version of what that phrase originally stood for, and someday I will read The Red Record, but I think The Sum of Us Does a great job encapsulating so many unexpected and strange outcomes from the seeds we have sowed.

#Nonfiction2023

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If you are planning ahead, our next book for September will be Unbound by Tarana Burke!

Put in your library holds and interlibrary loans.

#SheSaid

vlwelser Unbound is really great. I hope to pop back in for October (and November). 6mo
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psalva Now that I have settled down a bit from my move, I believe I have time to get back into read alongs, and I happen to have this on my shelf :) Would you mind adding me back to the list? 6mo
Amor4Libros This sounds very interesting! I would like to be added to the list 🙂 Thanks!! 6mo
Caroline2 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Hey Melissa, can you take me off your tag list please. I‘m trying to get through my tbr pile so I won‘t be joining in any more readalongs for now. Thanks for hosting. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @psalva sure, anytime. Glad to see you back 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Caroline2 no problem, I completely understand, I‘ve been there too. 6mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

How is everyone doing this week?

How is the book going? I‘m catching up slowly, but surely…

So far it‘s a great read, covering so much in each chapter. I‘m also seeing a few great books I‘ve read referenced. If you haven‘t read the Color of Law or The New Jim Crow, read them, they are great works. I‘ve also added Democracy in Chains and White Fragility to my to-read list. How about you? ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ What‘s sticking out for you so far, no matter how far along you are in the book? I know I wasn‘t the only one behind this month. 6mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘ll tag a few of the books I‘ve noticed mentioned…. 6mo
staci.reads I finished up yesterday. The last few chapters tied everything together nicely, but again, much of it was a retread of concepts from books we've read previously. Her "five discoveries" are also not new, but I believe her attempt to take a massively unwieldy topic down to the core of "what next." I do like the term "solidarity dividend" (not sure if she coined it) because it gives a name to her overarching premise. 6mo
staci.reads I also loved her repeated question "Who is an American, and what are we to one another?" Powerful. 6mo
staci.reads Btw, my hardcover did not have an "Afterward," which I see was part of this week's reading, so I'll be interested to hear from others about what I missed ? 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads I‘ll let you know when I get there. And yes, for this one there seem to be 3 versions available to people. One with an afterwards, one without, and I know a few people could only get the adapted for younger readers at their library, so I‘d love to know how that differed too (edited) 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads Some did seem to be a retread for this group… but I think that‘s both good and bad. For some that only read this, they‘ll get a great summary of a lot of issues & backgrounds. For me, it did review some things I‘ve read, but still had enough new and reminded me of things that had slipped to the background, so I still found it a worthwhile read. Although each chapter is so jam-packed that I think that might be why I‘m plodding ⤵️ (edited) 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Through and pausing often…to absorb and process. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @staci.reads The Afterwards talks about the insurrection on January 6th. She talks about how it reminded her of a different one she had referenced earlier in the book, and how again, it comes down to some votes should be counted more/worth more in their eyes, because those “others” MUST BE fraudulent. 6mo
staci.reads @Riveted_Reader_Melissa thanks for that follow up! I definitely see why she would want to add an afterward after Jan. 6th. 6mo
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Those are some insane numbers…that 1.2 percent of the population is funding 71% of all campaigns

…which really means that 1.2% of the population is getting 71% of governments ear and policy writing time and legislation written in their favor.🤯

About 158 families are making the decisions for a whole nation. No wonder they don‘t get issues like universal health care or minimum livable wages… they don‘t have any experience with most of those.

TheBookHippie Why the fight for “trickle down” economics really began in earnest with Regan - to do this 😵‍💫 6mo
LitStephanie Yes, I wish we had publicly funded elections. 6mo
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Hello #SheSaid

How are you this weekend?

I‘m still running behind in my reading, how is everyone else doing this week. Starting to catch up?

MallenNC I am still behind too. The book is great but my work gets really busy in August so I haven‘t been able to focus as much as I think this one deserves. I am still working through it though! 6mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC I don‘t know what my reason is 😂 just trying to get more done outside as it gets cooler in the evenings I think, so less couch reading time maybe. 🤷‍♀️. We‘ll both get there. 6mo
MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa It happens! I think too that I don‘t want to rush through this one to catch up. Some books I don‘t mind skimming. Enjoy the outdoors when you can. We had a great weather day yesterday below 85 for much of the day and low humidity after a lot of 90s/100s. 6mo
staci.reads I finally am caught up! Some of this is review of other reads, but she digs in with a lot of detail and cites some really infuriating examples to illustrate her point. As an educator, the chapter on segregated schools spoke to me, and I appreciated her focus on how the segregation harms us all. 6mo
staci.reads I do appreciate her premise, explaining how the zero sum ideology is so flawed, but I'm also frustrated that someone would have to point out the harm racism and racist policies do to white people to make a convincing argument for some people. 6mo
staci.reads I found her chapter on unions fascinating. Following the progression of American attitudes toward labor unions and how they have shifted so drastically was eye opening. 6mo
staci.reads And the examples of ridiculous voter registration laws 🤬 ok, my goal is to ready Sunday for the final section 😁 6mo
Caroline2 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Hey Melissa. Would you mind removing me from the tag list please as I won‘t be joining in this readalong. Thanks. 6mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

How are you this weekend? I finally got my library book yesterday and have just started it, so I‘m way behind. Sorry again, my apologies. But please carry on without me….what I‘ve read so far is very good, and hopefully I‘ll finish our first week‘s section later today and can comment on that post.

willaful I'm afraid I'm also still behind -- it's fascinating but not exactly an easy read. The chapter on all the pool closures was pretty devastating. Such an important public good... I can't imagine my teen life without our public pool. And it continues to be the same story about so many things. Kind of makes me feel despairing, tbh. 6mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful right, it‘s depressing in so many ways. I knew about the pool story, but for some reason my brain filed it under 1 pool somewhere, bad people…not a systematic country-wide pools everywhere closer. It just goes to show, for me, how even just telling the stories is not the same as really learning our real history….which we as a country (and society) seem dead set against doing. 6mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
The Hobbit | J.R.R. Tolkien
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Pickpick

Still loved, even after many reads now…and this ending has always struck me as quite a great one.

Little did even the author know just how much this past episode would weave into a bigger trilogy to come, and the part of prophecy here… oh so very important to the future of that world, in ways the author hadn‘t yet quite even dreamed of. 😉. Without those, the wider world would not have faired quite so well. “Roads go ever ever on” indeed!

JazzFeathers So very true. Indeed, I appreciate The hobbit more every time I read it. On the surface, it's a fun, easy read, but there's so much more hidden under the surface. It's a surprising read. 6mo
BookwormAHN @JazzFeathers So do I 😺 6mo
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Hello #SheSaid!

I‘m still waiting for my library book, I might have to cave and buy this one. How is it so far?

willaful I just read the introduction and am so intrigued. I think she's put her finger on something very important here and I'd love to know more about how to get the idea across more.

(May not read more today because it's on my phone and I loathe reading on my phone. But I have the print book waiting at the library for me.)
7mo
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MallenNC I‘m a little behind too but I am liking the book. She‘s an engaging writer and she‘s making good points. 7mo
staci.reads I haven't gotten started on it yet, but I'll dive in this week and be ready for next Sunday! 7mo
mhillis My library had the young adult version available so I got that!! 7mo
ncsufoxes I‘ve had this book sitting on my shelf for a while so I‘m happy to finally be reading it. So far I really like it. It explains so much about American society. Why I always want to scream, how could you be voting against your best interests. Research shows there‘s a reason why, no big surprise racism is behind it. It is really interesting. She does a really nice job of breaking down time points in American history that have lead us to where we are 7mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘m behind but really enjoying the points she is making. The pool example was one I knew of, but I had no idea how widespread and over-arching it was. I think I heard it as a single incident story, not a pools everywhere story. By the end I couldn‘t help think of the stereotype that some people can‘t swim… 🙄 and how that stereotype is so much more loaded than I realized. 6mo
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Up next for #SheSaid! I‘m looking forward to this one, hope my library hold comes in soon!

vlwelser That is such an awesome book. 7mo
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MallenNC I have this book already and am looking forward to reading it! 7mo
AnneCecilie I‘m also waiting on the library 7mo
AllDebooks I've got a copy and am good to go 😊 7mo
fredthemoose Great book! 7mo
willaful Add me please, though it may take a few days for me to get it. 7mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @willaful I will, glad to have you join us! 7mo
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Pickpick

Heumann does a great job sharing her personal experiences, challenges, the history of the movement, and her perspective. Like many civil rights movements, so much seems obscured by time, and was new to me now. It‘s won, why teach the history? But as recent history has shown us and Heumann outlines in its final chapter…history is a very slippery slope and things can change without much fanfare if we are not vigilant and don‘t know our history.

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ncsufoxes I can‘t even with Sessions. Him & DeVos couldn‘t explain IDEA or FAPE or any other thing regarding education. My MIL thought I was overreacting when she voted for Trump. I told her that him & his administration see my son as a burden on society not someone who deserves equal rights or an equal education. I can only hope that things don‘t go backwards again in the future. 7mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ncsufoxes I hope so too, I worry for this country of ours. 7mo
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Quote: part 2

#SheSaid

ncsufoxes Gorsch also being appointed to the Supreme Court after his big ruling in Colorado basically denying Autistic children the same rights to a basic education. Definitely made a lot of parents in my group of Autistic parents very nervous about what would happen in the future. We already fight so hard to get schools, doctors, society to understand us & our kids. Last thing we need is more barriers. 7mo
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Quote: part 1

You think you know all the behind the scenes stuff an administration did…and then you learn there was so much more 🫣

#SheSaid