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Consent
Consent: A Memoir | Jill Ciment
4 posts | 4 read | 3 to read
From the acclaimed novelist (A virtuosoDonna Seaman, Booklist), a deft, shocking memoir that asks whether we can judge past behavior by todays moral codes, as the author reevaluates her decades-long marriage to the forty-seven-year-old man she met when she was seventeen, revisiting a singular passion in the 21st-century aftermath of #MeToo. Few writers can tackle the bedroomor female libido . . . but Ciment is a master: in exquisitely spare prose, she nails it. The New York Times In this unflinching account of the ardent love affair between the author and her painting teacher, which began in the 1970s, when she was a teenager and he was married with two children, Ciment not only reflects on how their love ignited (who leaned in first for that kiss?) but interrogates her 1996 memoir on the subject, Half a Life. She asks herself if she told the whole truth back then, and what truth looked like to her in the even longer-ago era of love-bead curtains when she fell in love, when no one asked who was served by the permissibility around a May-December romance. In the light of #metoo, with new understanding about the balance of power between an older man and an underage girl, Ciment re-explores the erotic wild ride and intellectual flowering that shaped an improbable but blissful marriage that lasted for forty-five years, until her husbands death at ninety-three. This riveting book about art, memory, and morality asks many questions along the way: Does a storys ending excuse its beginning? Does a kiss in one moment mean something else entirely five decades later? Can a love that starts with such an asymmetrical balance of power ever right itself? Suffused with the wisdom that comes with time, Consent is an authors brave recasting of her lifes settled narrative, and an urgent read for women of all ages.
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review
Chelsea.Poole
Consent: A Memoir | Jill Ciment
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Mehso-so

A thin memoir of a huge age-gap (and power gap!) relationship between Ciment and her decades-older former professor. It was my assumption that this book would examine the inappropriate nature of their union. And, while she does acknowledge the difference in age and position, Ciment does not assign blame to her husband. This was melancholic and I it didnt live up the the hype, for me.

review
Anna40
Consent: A Memoir | Jill Ciment
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Bailedbailed

At 17 Jill seduced her 47 year old art teacher or did she?As Jill tries to be honest after a lifetime of perhaps lying to herself I can‘t get over the fact that Arnold at the time was married&Jill was 17 which is yes! young but she wasn‘t a child either.Why did she marry him?Although I understand why it‘s important 2 her to re-examine what happened,I don‘t understand why after staying married to him until his death at 93 she now writes this?

Anna40 But maybe that‘s exactly why she wrote it. I can‘t go on reading for now but should pick it up again. 3mo
Bookwomble Laws are different across jurisdictions, so just to say that in the UK, age 17 is still legally a child, and that if the 47 year old teacher had sexual contact with her, that is an offence that would lead him to be jailed (probably) and (definitely) put on the sex offenders register, as well as losing him his job and professional accreditation. 3mo
See All 6 Comments
Anna40 @Bookwomble I think what I didn‘t understand&maybe she doesn‘t either is why she married him/why she pursued him but maybe he groomed her and she only just realised that it was grooming now, I.e. what she believed to be love wasn‘t. Whether legally a child or not: at 17 she was underage and he an adult. I‘m not sure why I was so annoyed by her and it‘s judgmental and wrong. Thought provokjng book … 3mo
Bookwomble @Anna40 It's sadly not uncommon for young people to believe they are in a relationship with an older person, not realising they are being exploited. This sounds like an interesting book, though not an easy one. 3mo
Anna40 @Bookwomble yes! Very sad. And yes, difficult book to read 3mo
23 likes6 comments
review
Amor4Libros
Consent: A Memoir | Jill Ciment
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Pickpick

This memoir read like a novel and I loved it so much. (Also, I was drawn to the “older man, younger woman” chisme, tbh 😅).

I now need to add Ciment‘s backlist to my TBR.

Kitta Ooh sounds interesting! Stacked. 4mo
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blurb
Amor4Libros
Consent: A Memoir | Jill Ciment
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I‘m trying to wrap up books that I‘m already in the middle of (too many! 😅), but this library hold came in 2 days ago and I can‘t wait any longer 🤣

46 likes2 stack adds