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The Self-Driven Child
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives | William Stixrud, PhD, Ned Johnson
A clinical neuropsychologist and test-prep guru combine cutting-edge brain science with insights from their work with families to make a radical case for giving kids more agency to unleash their full potential. Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids--but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: Even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no control over their lives. Some hit college and unraveled. Johnson runs PrepMatters, an elite tutoring service that teaches teens how to perform better on standardized tests. Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist who helps patients suffering from ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Both have devoted their lives to coaching kids and together they've hit on a counterintuitive solution to help kids unlock their full potential. A healthy motivation hinges on having a strong sense of control. Even young children need to feel that their views matter. So how do you give your kids more control without giving up all authority as a parent? The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of brain science; the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy; case studies drawn from the thousands of kids and teens Stixrud and Johnson have helped over the years; and concrete advice that you can act on tonight to teach you how to set your child on the real road to success. We can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they have to take the wheel. Those who have never been allowed to make meaningful decisions until later in life are likely to flounder. The Self-Driven Child will give you the tools you need to help your child navigate life with confidence and find his or her own path.
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KaraDunn
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Pickpick

I‘m not usually a fan of parenting books, but this one is great!

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Peaceful_Reader
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Pickpick

This is an excellent book about life, our brains, and the decisions we make. I wish I‘d had this book ten years ago. #choices #gapyear #families #becalm

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BooksForEmpathy
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I am super into this meal lately AND this book. Teaching children how to take control of their own lives is getting harder + harder b/c of parental over-involvement and this competitive culture we live in. I see so much anxiety in students these days, coming from this sense of not knowing how to handle their lives or make decisions for themselves. I am loving this book that encourages parents to give their children some freedom, even if they fail!

SuseB @BooksForEmpathy As a teacher I see the same things. My students are middle-schoolers, and by that age they seem to have this "learned helplessness" that I have to try to unteach. They have so much ability, but self-motivation is integral to them fully developing it. 7y
Jaimelire Also as a teacher, I agree with everything you wrote. 100%. 7y
peacegypsy Thanks—I appreciate counseling-related book recommendations. Have you read The Collapse of Parenting? It was very good, and it sounds like both books touch on this problem. 7y
88 likes5 stack adds3 comments
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BookishMarginalia
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Tamra This one caught my eye, but haven‘t gotten it yet. Anxious to hear your thoughts. 7y
WriterReaderTrainer Interesting title. I am a parent educator and of course, most parents would desire a self driven child. I'll add it to my stack. 7y
105 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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Well-ReadNeck
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Mehso-so

Overall, I enjoyed this book and found some great nuggets of wisdom to apply immediately. I thought the idea of working toward being a consultant for rather than manager of your child was a nice metaphor. Other sections were less insightful. And, the final chapter and data about the American college experience was downright depressing. #netgalley

Tamra I‘m on the fence with purchasing, do you think it‘s worth it or is it more common sense? 7y
Well-ReadNeck I have found that books relating to specific developmental ages of a child more practically helpful 7y
Well-ReadNeck @Tamra ooooops. Meant to tag you in my earlier comment! 7y
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Tamra @Well-ReadNeck thanks! Do you have any favorites to recommend? Mine are 7 & 10. 7y
Well-ReadNeck @Tamra TBH, I can‘t remember off the top of my head. Mine is 17, so I‘m a couple of sets of books ahead of you. 🤣 7y
Tamra @Well-ReadNeck 😂 Well, if you have survived......there is hope for me. 7y
74 likes1 stack add6 comments