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What the Mouth Wants
What the Mouth Wants: A Memoir of Food, Love and Belonging | Monica Meneghetti
13 posts | 2 read | 3 to read
The redefinition of family values as seen from the eyes of a polyamorous, queer Italian Canadian obsessed with food. This mouthwatering, intimate, and sensual memoir traces Monica Meneghetti's unique life journey through her relationship with food, family and love. As the youngest child of a traditional Italian-Catholic immigrant family, Monica learns the intimacy of the dinner table and the ritual of meals, along with the requirements of conformity both at the table and in life. Monica is thirteen when her mother is diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoes a mastectomy. When her mother dies three years later, Monica considers the existence of her own breasts and her emerging sexuality in the context of grief and the disintegration of her sense of family. As Monica becomes an adult, she discovers a part of her self that rebels against the rigours of her traditional upbringing. And as the layers of her sexuality are revealed she begins to understand that like herbs infusing a sauce with flavour; her differences add a delicious complexity to her life. But in coming to terms with her place in the margins of the margins, Monica must also face the challenge of coming out while living in a small town, years before same-sex marriage and amendments to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms created safer spaces for queers. Through risk, courage and heartbreak, she ultimately redefines and recreates family and identity according to her own alternative vision.
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review
Lindy
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Pickpick

A memoir by a polyamorous #bisexual daughter of Italian #immigrants, told in a series of personal essays connected to food. This is a pick with reservations about style, including the present tense that‘s used for most of her memories; I could only take it in small doses. Meneghetti‘s coming out experiences intrigued me, and I also enjoy reading about daily life and culture through the lens of food. #lgbtq #CanadianAuthor

45 likes1 stack add
quote
Lindy
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“Within the risotto lurks the texture of being loved. History‘s al dente stands at the centre, surrounded by the long-simmered softness of forgetting. Saffron scent blossoms into belonging.”

(Another example of the author‘s style that makes me go hmmmm. I kind of like what she‘s doing, but I also feel like she‘s pushing the conceit—secret emotional ingredients in her family‘s food—too hard. Lurking texture?)

ladym30 Those are beautiful and yummy I bet. 6y
Lindy @ladym30 I saw them at the farmers market a while back and couldn‘t resist their beauty. Some of them became baba ganoush. 😋 6y
39 likes2 comments
quote
Lindy
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Over time, Dad started leaving his borsello behind on the credenza. His colleagues teased him about being gay whenever he carried it, so he stopped.
Ironically, though the borsello was a very common male accessory & a sign of refinement in 1970s Italy, these days discussion can be found on the Internet among Italian guys as to whether carrying the borsello is a sign of being gay.

#immigrantstories 🇨🇦
(Internet photo: Dolce & Gabbana)

blurb
Lindy
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“Writing is the pump by which memory‘s contents are suctioned into the light of scrutiny. From then on, memoir is fabrication.”

An example of writing style that makes me feel conflicted about this book. Vivid imagery but also squicky: suctioning memories sounds alarmingly visceral.

blurb
Lindy
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“Ours was an odd Eucharist. For hosts, my sister and I used bread slices. We tore or nibbled off the crusts, then squished the white mollica into thin discs.”

I had no idea there was an English (from Italian) word which corresponds to the French term—‘la mie‘—for the tender interior part of bread. #LinguisticOddities

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Lindy
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Some nights, my heart pounds me awake. I hear the voice of the Gay and Lesbian Association‘s help line attendant: “You‘re probably a lesbian, afraid to come out.”
Night after night, I consider leaving Sheldon. Not because I want to. Because people act like I‘m supposed to.

#lgbtq #bisexual

(Internet image)

blurb
Lindy
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Accretion of specific details is a strength in this memoir—adding a strong sense of time & place—and sometimes overwhelming with too much of a muchness. Meneghetti describes the “terra cotta dish with a black-glazed etching at the bottom” in which her mother hid candies on the top shelf, and lists the various treats on which she would spend her entire childhood allowance (Ton o‘ Grape gum, licorice pipes, Pop Rocks, Sherbet Fountains etc).

Lcsmcat I remember Pop Rocks! 6y
Lindy @Lcsmcat Me too! 6y
31 likes2 comments
quote
Lindy
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Her birthday present to me that summer was an entire wheel of parmigiano reggiano. We were in her modest modern kitchen. She broke open the wheel and handed me a knife. I inserted the tip of its blade half an inch into the top and pried a chunk free. After so many years of furtive bites, having a whole mouthful of grana felt like eating gold bullion.

(Internet photo)

Conservio I keep trying to convince my loved ones that all I want for Christmas / birthday is a wheel of cheese 6y
Lindy @Conservio I think it would be a marvellous gift! 6y
batsy What a gift 🧀🧀🧀💛 6y
35 likes3 comments
quote
Lindy
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“Can bisexuals be monogamous?” I email CJ. She‘s the only bisexual I know. 400 km away from my small town.
“Of course. Some are, some aren‘t. The real question is, are you?”

#lgbtq #memoir

34 likes3 stack adds
blurb
Lindy
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I‘ve never seen it happen before that the back cover a a book is displayed in the library catalog instead of the front cover. Weird.

valeriegeary 🤔 6y
readordierachel Very weird 6y
Lindy @valeriegeary @ReadOrDieRachel My only guess is that there was human error when someone who works for the company that supplies the digital images of the book covers to the library catalog either scanned or selected the wrong one. I have seen it happen that a front cover of a book doesn‘t match the title listing in the catalog; it could be for some completely different title. 6y
37 likes3 comments
review
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
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Mehso-so

A few of the pieces were quite interesting with poetic writing, but overall this memoir left me wanting. It didn't feel cohesive. I'm all for non-linear memoirs, but this one was written in many, sometimes very short pieces that stood on their own without any flow between. It's divided into sections like a meal (appetizers, mains, dessert) but I didn't see why or feel like it added anything. I also felt like the characters never came alive.

31 likes1 comment
blurb
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
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Grilled cheese sandwich and wine and a book about food!

MarriedtoMrT Yum! 7y
GrilledCheeseSamurai I approve of this. 👌😅 7y
44 likes3 comments
blurb
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
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Today in awesome ARCs of #queerbooks that I got in the mail! #BookMail