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This Boy We Made
This Boy We Made: A Memoir of Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the Unknown | Taylor Harris
9 posts | 5 read | 11 to read
A Black mother bumps up against the limits of everything she thought she believed--about science and medicine, about motherhood, and about her faith--in search of the truth about her son. One morning, Tophs, Taylor Harris's round-cheeked, lively twenty-two-month-old, wakes up listless and unresponsive. She rushes Tophs to the doctor, ignoring the part of herself, trained by years of therapy for generalized anxiety disorder, that tries to whisper that she's overreacting. But at the hospital, her maternal instincts are confirmed: something is wrong with her boy, and Taylor's life will never be the same. With every question the doctors answer about Tophs's increasingly troubling symptoms, more arise, and Taylor dives into the search for a diagnosis. She spends countless hours trying to navigate health and education systems that can be hostile to Black mothers and children; at night she googles, prays, and interrogates her every action. Some days, her sweet, charismatic boy seems just fine--others, he struggles to answer simple questions. What is she missing? When Taylor brings Tophs to a long-awaited appointment with a geneticist, she hopes that this time, she'll leave with answers. The test reveals nothing about what's causing Tophs's drops in blood sugar, his processing delays--but it does reveal something unexpected about Taylor's own health. What if her son's challenges have saved her life? And how can she choose the best path forward--for herself and for her beautiful, unsolvable boy? This Boy We Made is a stirring and radiantly written examination of the bond between mother and child, full of hard-won insights about fighting for and finding meaning when nothing goes as expected.
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Billypar
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Pickpick

Late #AuldLangSpine review here: this is an incredible story of Harris' struggle to advocate for her son's medical health and educational rights due to a mysterious undiagnosable medical condition. Harris shares intriguing reflections on her experiences: how she responds given her own anxiety issues, why her son's condition also contributes to what makes him special, and other responses to maddening ambiguity. Emotional, yet sharply written.

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Billypar
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#AuldLangSpine
Thanks @ncsufoxes for your list this month: I finished three and am still working on This Boy We Made but enjoying it very much. I think I'm going to keep referring back to the list this year and pick up a couple more. Nice chatting with you as well!

@monalyisha thanks for organizing this event! I really like this method of getting recommendations. Looking forward to participating again in the future 😀

Chelsea.Poole I‘m so curious about the tagged! 2y
Billypar @Chelsea.Poole I never expect a debut memoir to be this good, especially about such an emotionally exhausting subject - I highly recommend it! 2y
Chelsea.Poole @Billypar welp, you‘ve convinced me, stacked! 2y
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S3V3N
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#WondrousWednesday @Eggs

#This Boy We Made by Taylor Harris

#I have subscribed to 2 different ones. I cannot remember the names of them. They were cool, but I started listening to audiobooks more.

#The Black Snowman is my favorite winter book.

Eggs Thank you for joining in ❄️💙❄️ 2y
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S3V3N
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Pickpick

One of the best memoirs I‘ve read. I can‘t imagine the strength the parents have who have children with health issues. Add to that educational delays. This is a powerful book about fighting for your child.

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ncsufoxes
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The little boy in this book has mysterious symptoms that doctors can not figure out. I spent about a year at Duke Children‘s doing my clinical hours for Child Life. So I spent a lot of time working with a lot of kids similar there & in early intervention. The mom highlighted the prevalence of racism & misdiagnosis of kids (which I‘ve seen lots of that, unfortunately). It was an interesting story about their experiences of dealing with a lot of

ncsufoxes medical unknowns, lack of answers, frustrations of doctors & the school system not taking 2 well educated parents seriously (I‘m white & my husband & I are well educated & we feel like no one listens to us). So on one level I get her frustrations plus to experience racism on top of that is another level. #bookspin #nonfiction: I‘m Unplanned- because life with a disabled child is unplanned (rewarding but more exhausting than you planned) 2y
TheAromaofBooks Great progress!!! 2y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sounds like a great read too. I was one of those sickly children that no one could figure out why, and my parents were blamed for a lot until they suddenly did figure it out….I can‘t even imagine layering racism in on top of that. 2y
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ncsufoxes
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OMG yes, a million times over. I feel that with every IEP meeting. All I ever think when I hear about friends & their fights over IEPs, is didn‘t at one time the people doing this job go into it for a reason. Why do people feel the need to lessen what your child & family are going through? We have been fighting for 7 years to get an accurate school (& medical but that‘s another fight) for our son, he technically 10 years if you count being denied

ncsufoxes early intervention services at the age of 2. It‘s been a long journey but finally have gotten the accurate IEP classification to match his needs. It‘s such a long & exhausting road for most parents in this realm & I hate that we have to fight so hard for what our kids need. It shouldn‘t be a fight or have to involve lawyers to get the best services. We want our kids to succeed in school & do well with supports as needed. 2y
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ncsufoxes
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Ugh, I totally get this. Sitting in an IEP meeting & listening to the results from your child‘s testing is so exhausting & it just hurts. It hurts because these numbers don‘t define your child but are necessary to access services. As an early intervention coordinator I sat with many families through the transition meeting for preschool (I had a lot of medically complex kids). It was hard then & it‘s hard now as a mom.

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Amiable
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A mom with anxiety disorder writes about her young son, who awakes one day in distress. The dash to the ER kicks off a search to solve the genetic mystery of his illness. In the process, she and her husband undergo testing — that reveals an unexpected and deadly genetic surprise of her own. In searching for answers for her son, her own life was saved. For this, she considers him her guardian angel.

#Nonfiction2022
Prompt: I‘m an Angel
Bingo X4

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Amiable
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I legitimately laughed out loud at this line from the memoir I‘m reading. When I was pregnant with my youngest son, I used to tell people that there were three of us making this baby: me, Ben and Jerry. 😄 My husband and I jokingly considered naming him Benjamin to commemorate the experience. 😀

kspenmoll 😂😂 2y
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