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Der Feind in meinem Kopf
Der Feind in meinem Kopf: Stopp den inneren Kritiker | Dr. Matthias Hammer
17 posts | 1 read
Wir sabotieren uns selbst - und damit ist es Schluss! In jedem Menschen sind zahlreiche innere Anteile aktiv und einige wirken wie echte Feinde: Sie treiben uns erbarmungslos an, kritisieren uns malos und machen aus jeder Kleinigkeit eine Katastrophe. Andere schlieen harmonieschtig faule Kompromisse oder lassen uns dringend ntige Aktivitten immer wieder hinausschieben. Hchste Zeit, solche inneren Saboteure zu entlarven und den bestmglichen Umgang mit ihnen zu finden. Der liegt darin, sich diese Feinde im eigenen Kopf zu Freunden zu machen. Die zahlreichen Bewusstwerdungstechniken und alltagstauglichen bungen des erfahrenen Verhaltenstherapeutens Matthias Hammer machen es mglich. So lsen Sie die Handbremse und finden zu einem positiven Umgang mit sich selbst.
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Buechersuechtling
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I love that book ❤️ and found it incredibly helpful. It‘s written friendly. But I also noticed that throughout the last hours I was more and more impatient with and distracted from it. Seems, I need to revisit it later some day and then not read it from beginning to end, but only pick the chapters that then seem helpful for and to me.

Anyway, highly recommended.
Really.

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🇬🇧 Often our inner shares speak in a very harsh and hurtful way, especially our inner critic evaluates or insults us. We should react and respond: „I thank you for your feedback, but if you hurt me, that‘s not helpful to me. I‘m asking you to treat me better.“ Or clear boundaries can be drawn: “I do not want to be treated like this by you. I don‘t care if you‘re right or not.” (p. 74)

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One of the exercises for practising awareness during every day life:

“Count your breath:
Now and then count your breath. In your mind, only for yourself. Always from 1 to 10.

Breathe in, breathe out, one;
breathe in, breathe out, 2 …

if your mind wanders off and you know just for that, start again from the beginning.” (p. 64)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ Surely sounds easier than it is but I might try to make this a daily routine.

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Buechersuechtling
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🙌🏼 #AnyWayYou-Readathon by @kimmypete1 @Eggbeater @MidnightBookGirl

As always during lockdown, I schedule 1 or 2 nice (late) breakfasts with a boiled egg, a bun, curd and a newspaper. 🗞 🤩

Apart from that, I take the easy way: Low goals and just enjoy being and (audio)reading. ❤️

I wanna finish the tagged book and hope that I can continue to draw lessons from it that I am able to implement.

Start 🇩🇪 „Der Liebe eine Stimme geben“.

Eggbeater Sounds nice! Thanks for participating! 4y
kimmypete1 Thanks for joining! 4y
12 likes2 comments
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😱 I almost forgot – but: yay, it‘s @Andrew65 ‘s #FabulousFebruary-weekend‼️🥰

Again, I have no clue for SMART goals but I learned that, even if my working weeks are a lot less stressful at the moment, I only find time to read on weekends. 🥺 So, I will keep it simple.

Finish my current audiobook, which is the 6th part of Stieg Larsson‘s “Millennium“-trilogy.

Finish my self-help book (tagged) that really does me good.

Listen to some Blinks.

Andrew65 Glad you remembered, Great to have you with us, good luck 😊👍 4y
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#WondrousWednesday @Eggs
Catching up after a busy week … As always: Thanks Kevin @RamsFan1963 ‼️🤗

1️⃣ Usually, my significant other and I don‘t celebrate, but this year, because we didn‘t see each other for roughly 6 weeks, we decided to have another video dinner. 🥘🕯

2️⃣ I am a good friend, I‘m structured, organised and enthusiastic.

3️⃣ Toughie … 🇩🇪„Mit Blick aufs Meer“,
🇩🇪„Still“, my current audiobook
🇩🇪„Vernichtung“ 😇

Eggs Thanks for playing 🥳❤️👏🏻 4y
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Littens, let me tell you, I am a strange person. I remember during reading another book about mindfulness, there has also been that meditation where you practice to empathise with yourself by first empathising with some else. Every time I read l the instructions, I immediately feel that warm feelings you‘re supposed to feel. But it seems, I am not so good in transferring these feelings over to myself. 🤷🏽‍♀️

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🇬🇧 “We deserve comfort, especially when we‘ve just screwed up or are particularly having a rough ride. That‘s how it is. It has nothing to do with selfishness when we emphasise with ourselves. When we are heavily stressed, our care system – the inner adult – can calm us and end the emotional vicious circle. […] Negative feelings are not suppressed, but noticed and accepted – and thus the transformation takes place.” (p. 56)

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🇬🇧 “People who couldn‘t break-up with the former protectors, are mentally and emotionally still stuck in the past. They‘re transferring former situations, in which it was about the recognition and attention of important caregivers, to the present. This happens until one as adult, succeeds in convincing the inner parts that their help is no longer needed in the previous way.” (p 44)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ Sounds so reasonable and easy but I bet it‘s so hard‼️

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⬆️⬆️⬆️ That last paragraph‼️

It‘s _so_nice_ how the author is able to understandably explain yourself to you in a manner that you don‘t feel bad or immature or stupid or undisciplined but, in contrary, _competent_‼️ ❤️❤️❤️

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⬆️⬆️⬆️ 😅❤️

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Thanks for tagging me in @TheSpineView ‘s #Two4Tuesday, @RamsFan1963 ‼️

My answers are be boring, but still …

1️⃣ My significant other and I agreed on no presents on Valentine‘s Day, so: No.
Even though I have forwarded the first question to him, adding a
“Do I? 🙃” 😂

2️⃣ It‘s not really “planning” because, you know, I tend to be such a mood reader. Chances are high that some kind of “light entertainment” will hit my way this month, though.

TheSpineView Thanks for playing! ❤📚 4y
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Thanks @RamsFan1963 and @ju.ca.no for tagging me this #MotivationalMonday by @Cupcake12 – even if I‘m a bit late. 🤭

1️⃣ Go to the office to print out some stuff since I‘m not allowed to use my private printer 🖨 when being in home office.

2️⃣ At the moment: The corner of my sofa 🛋‼️

3️⃣ Most recently: Nell from “Paris for One”. ☺️

Want to play❓@looseleafbooks @jhod
@Patchshank @kspenmoll

Cupcake12 Thanks for playing x 4y
11 likes1 comment
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That moment, when you pick your book back up the other day and immediately remember why you decided to put it down the morning before at around 2:00 a.m.: There is a test and you decided to complete it without ruffle or excitement.

I‘m surprised, I like the book far better than expected. The author is great in showing you things without judging or moralising. So you sit in front of the book, read all that stuff, but you don‘t feel bad.

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?? „Das wirksame an der Idee der inneren Anteilen besteht darin, dass wir die Fähigkeit, und in andere hinein zu versetzen, für uns selbst gebrauchen.“ (Seite 14)

?? “The effective thing about the idea of the inner parts is that we use the ability to put ourselves in somebody‘s shoes for ourselves.” (p. 14)

⬆️⬆️⬆️ Not completely new to me but anyway, feels like: “Gimme more, gimme more‼️”

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Since it‘s early, very early Sunday here and I‘m still reading instead of sleeping I treated myself to a not so sweet lemonade. My kidneys just let me know I drank too few. And since I can get enough sleep later on because it‘s weekend, I just decided to ignore my clocks and continue this book that is written fluently and easy-to-understand. If it also offers informational added value still has to turn out.

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After I didn‘t enjoy that Solnik-book for very long, I decided to right away go and borrow 2 books from my online library. In case one, again, doesn‘t suit me, I‘ll have another.

This is book 1.
It‘s been sitting on my wish list for oh so long. It‘s a book about how to stop one‘s inner critic. I‘m not sure if I‘m in the mood for this topic at the moment. But if I‘ll keep on waiting for the right mood, this book might remain unread forever.