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There Is No Ethan
There Is No Ethan: How Three Women Caught America's Biggest Catfish | Anna Akbari
10 posts | 10 read | 29 to read
Part memoir, part explosive window into the mind of a catfish, a thrilling personal account of three women coming face-to-face with an internet predator and teaming up to expose them. In 2011, three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this seemingly perfect man. His detailed excuses about broken webcams and complicated international calling plans seemed believable, as did last minute trip cancellations. After all, why would he lie? Ethan wasn't after money he never convinced his marks to shell out thousands of dollars for some imagined crisis. Rather, he ensnared these women in a web of intense emotional intimacy. After the trio independently began to question inconsistencies in their new flame's stories, they managed to find one another and uncover a greater deception than they could've ever imagined. As Anna Akbari and the women untangled their catishs web, they found dozens of other victims and realized that without a proper crime, there was no legal reason for Ethan to ever stop. THERE IS NO ETHAN catalogues Akbari's experience as both victim and observer. By looking at the bigger picture of where these stories unfold a world where technology mediates our relationships; where words and images are easily manipulated; and where truth, reality, and identity have become slippery terms Akbari gives a page-turning and riveting examination of why stories like Ethan's matter for us all.
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review
TheKidUpstairs
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Pickpick

I raced through the second half of this book today, I just couldn't put it down!

Anna is an accomplished woman, a professor of sociology in NYC, she joins OKCupid hoping to find a connection with someone who will not be intimidated by a smart woman who knows her own mind. She thinks she has found it in Ethan. Instead she finds a man who masterfully manipulates her thoughts and emotions and makes excuse after excuse for why he can't meet. cont'd

TheKidUpstairs ...After months of frustration and abuse she cuts contact, only to find him back in her life when another woman reaches out with a very similar story. The two join forces (and bring in yet another victim) to uncover who the real “Ethan“ is.

Anna's “courtship“ section drags on a bit too long (and will make you scream at all the red flags!), but once the three woman begin to unravel the web you can't look away. cont'd
2w
TheKidUpstairs If you, like me, have watched countless episodes of MTV's Catfish, this is one for you.

One more thought under a spoiler alert in the next comment! It has to do with the identity of the catfish, so leave it unspoiled if you haven't yet read the book but want to!!!!
(edited) 2w
TheKidUpstairs I was shocked by the identity of the person behind “Ethan“. And infuriated to discover that she is still licensed and practicing as an OB/GYN! That someone who is so unethical in her private life could hold a position that requires so much trust and vulnerability from the women in her care is rage-inducing! 2w
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Megabooks I know!! This book was totally 🍌 but so good!!!! 2w
Hooked_on_books I found this book utterly absorbing 2w
BarbaraBB Sounds like a must read with all these recommendations by my peers! 2w
50 likes2 stack adds7 comments
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ClairesReads
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Outrageous, compelling, literally unputdownable. I find most catfishing stories pretty engaging, because I both can‘t believe that people do it, and am amazed at how long people are taken in by catfish. This story blew me out of the park though. Even more compelling than the catfishing itself, is the unravelling of the work of the catfish by the three women at the centre of this story. This is like watching the best reality tv.

BarbaraBB You sold it! Stacked!! 1mo
Ephemera The person doing the catfishing is a sociopath. 1mo
35 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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Chelsea.Poole
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A propulsive work of nonfiction about an intense catfishing episode suffered by the author and at least two others, who join forces to uncover the truth of who “Ethan” really is. And let me tell you, I was shocked to find out who was behind this debacle. I hate that these intelligent individuals got scammed, but I love that they came together to fight back. A good (and super fast!) audio as well.

Hooked_on_books I found this one fascinating! 1mo
Suet624 This sounds great! 1mo
82 likes7 stack adds2 comments
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Ephemera
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A true cautionary tale about how the internet allows people with selfish motives to victimize others. Although most of this story happens in 2011, the perpetrator is still free today and perhaps still doing the same things they did back then. The book is a real page turner and quick reading. The agenda of this emotional vampire will repel you, as will their attitude once they‘re caught. Five stars.

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BookishTrish
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Completely compulsive true story. I was shocked and outraged and utterly hooked. I am glad these women can find healing with one another. (Pictured: my neighbours try and invite themselves for breakfast)

julesG Cute neighbours 3mo
Ladygodiva7 🦝 hahaha so adorable 3mo
kspenmoll How many??!!! 3mo
BookishTrish @kspenmoll a mama and six Littles 3mo
57 likes4 comments
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Hooked_on_books
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In 2011, Anna Akbari met Ethan online and started falling for him as the chatted online and texted. But gradually she started having suspicions and frustrations when they never met up. So she did some sleuthing, found other women involved with him, and discovered the truth. While I found myself wondering how these women had gotten so drawn in, I found this story fascinating and unputdownable. It was basically a one sitting read.

AmyG Good to read. I just picked this up. 3mo
Christine Same re: disbelief that they got so hooked! Settled on it being a different time (emergent tech, catfishing still a newish concept, etc.) and the extraordinary effort put into sustaining the cons. 3mo
Megabooks Yeah!! This was a really good one! 3mo
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squirrelbrain Ooh, stacking! 3mo
Hooked_on_books @Christine I tried to tell myself that about a different time, but the reality is, I tried online dating before the events here and quickly figured out not to spend too much time on the online bit before actually meeting people. And these are smart, successful women! But I‘m trying not to be judgey, since it really was an engrossing story. 3mo
Christine Such a good point (esp. given your firsthand experience!), and I tried not to judge, too. I imagine wanting to believe in the possibilities of the meaningful connection/relationship played into it for them, along with who knows what other psychological factors. I also wonder if there's more to “Ethan“'s manipulation skills than what was discussed here. But yes, it was a great read! 3mo
kspenmoll My nephew got lured into a woman‘s catfishing scheme when he only 18 & it was a nightmare for him & his parents to extricate him from her net so to speak. He would stop, then get caught up again. He got off all social media, & asked all his friends to unfriend him, etc. He spent time in therapy with an expert in catfishing. He finally let it all go when he moved out of state. Biggest nightmare- 3mo
Hooked_on_books @kspenmoll Holy cow, that poor kid! I could easily see that happening at that age. I think so many teens are just trying to fit somewhere and could be so easy to get drawn in. I‘m so glad this stuff didn‘t exist when I was that age. I would not have known better. Few teens would. 3mo
47 likes4 stack adds8 comments
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Christine
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Almost set this aside because Part 1 was painful! Hearing so much detail about how an accomplished, intelligent woman (who shared my career field) fell hard for a manipulative creep in an online dating setting was rough. But I‘m glad I kept going because the story overall was riveting (and infuriating), and Akbari is a great writer. In the end, definitely a pick!

44 likes1 stack add
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guinsgirlreads
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Wow. Just, wow 🤯! I had never heard of this story, but what a crazy, hard to digest one that it is! This book is very well-written, and if you go into not knowing the story, like I did, pretty true-life mind blowing!

wanderinglynn Your tumbler! 😹😹😹❤️ 3mo
29 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Megabooks
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I couldn‘t put down this catfishing memoir!! Audio is done well and so is the story of Anna‘s relationship to Ethan, an emotionally manipulative man she met on a dating site, but never met irl. Later she teams up with two other victims to unmask the person behind Ethan‘s profile. The ending is wild!

JenReadsAlot That sounds good! 3mo
Megabooks @JenReadsAlot it was really engaging! 3mo
LeahBergen Stacked! 3mo
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Megabooks @LeahBergen awesome! 3mo
Christine The ending is indeed wild! I can't believe there weren't more consequences for “Ethan,“ whom I looked up and was just in disbelief that they're out there doing their thing professionally. 😳 😡 3mo
Megabooks @Christine right?! I can‘t believe she‘s actually practicing medicine!! 3mo
64 likes8 stack adds6 comments
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nitalibrarian
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Started a new audiobook. This one is about a catfisher and the three women who find him and expose him. #audiobook

Kristy_K This one looks interesting! 4mo
22 likes1 comment