autobiograpgy

Parcel Arrived Safely, Tied with String | Michael Crawford

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Began this memoir as a Phantom of the Opera and Hello Dolly! super-fan, ended it as a Michael Crawford superfan.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/7404860879

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BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

“I am almost worn out and feel as if the only thing that would do me any good would be to get away out in some lonely waste place and shriek at the top of my voice for half an hour.”
—July 22, 1919 (p. 173)

Same, Maud. Same.

#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

dabbe 🎯🎯🎯 4w

BarbaraJean Just saw that my tags didn't show up! @TheAromaofBooks @lauraisntwilder @JenlovesJT47 4w

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BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

This week‘s section was ROUGH and heartbreaking to read, and I‘m glad we‘re alternating between the journals and other books! A couple questions to get us started:

What stands out to you in LMM‘s description of her grief?
What stands out in her descriptions of Ewan‘s illness and her own response to it?
Are there other sections that you found interesting or meaningful?

#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals

JenlovesJT47, lauraisntwilder, TheAromaofBooks

BarbaraJean This quote (and the preceding passage about their friendship) really struck me:
“I think what hurt me so keenly in these was the fact that there was no one left on earth to understand or note these things. In one letter... written one winter when I was not feeling well she said, ‘I tremble to think of what the world would be to me without you.‘
Oh, Frede, you never had to learn it. It is I who must find that out.”
(p. 131 - Mar. 23, 1919) 😭😭 4w

BarbaraJean Several times, I was struck (again!) by how judgmental LMM is. I also noticed her own fear of judgment, specifically about Ewan & what others would think if they knew his illness was other than only a physical ailment. It was interesting to see those two things side by side and feel there was likely a parallel there: she assumes judgment in part because of her own judgmental side.

“For Ewan's own sake and the childrens' the impression must not ⬇ (edited) 4w

BarbaraJean (Cont'd) ...get abroad that his mind was unbalanced. It would ruin his prospects. I talked to the people of his headaches and insomnia but I fenced the world from him as much as I could lest the other deadly thing should be suspected.” (Sept. 1, 1919: p. 149) vs. a comment like: “Flora is a stupid, uncultured, uninteresting woman but she has a heart of gold and she was kindness itself to us this summer.” (Aug. 3, 1919: p. 174) 4w

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BarbaraJean Also, I CRACKED UP over these two parts:

“I have a long way to go before I can believe that the spirits of the dead can spell out messages on the Ouija board or that they live in an eternal pink twilight on synthetic beef tea.” (March 29, 1919: p. 134)

“The McCombs are nice enough people but their cat is nicer.” (Aug. 3, 1919: p. 173) 4w

TheAromaofBooks Soooo many feelings in this week's section!! Wow! Can you imagine a worse year!? I think I had either not realized or maybe just forgotten that Frede died of the Spanish flu. So scary and fast. You can feel the shock and devastation on every page - to have just heard from someone and they were fine, and then 24hrs later to be told to come quickly because they're dying...!! It was hard to read. And I felt Maud's lament that she's too old to ⬇ 4w

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) make another friend like that - the kind of person you've built a lifetime of memories with, and shared so much. 4w

TheAromaofBooks The sections about Ewan were in some ways harder to read, because it felt like so much of that grief LMM put on herself. Her obsession with appearances, combined with the lack of knowledge/empathy concerning mental health issues boxed her into a situation that was way worse than I feel like it would have been if it had happened today. I thought it was strange that they went to Massachusetts for the entire summer - was it just to keep Ewan away ⬇ 4w

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) from the neighborhood?? It was also so hard to read the beginnings of the usage of various drugs to help with sleeping and getting through the day, knowing how destructive those will be over time. And I also felt bad for Ewan, who honestly seems like a perfectly nice guy (despite all the slagging he got in basically every biography). I think until this point he and LMM have been companionable and work partners, even if they haven't ⬇ 4w

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) been passionate lovers. To go into this time of deep, deep depression and basically be told that it's your fault and you're a disgrace and have to be hidden away - ugh, so awful.

When you mentioned about LMM being really judgmental, it made me remember a footnote from the earlier section (pg47), which quoted a later journal entry of LMM's saying that her cousin James had no children and so “the old homestead of Hugh Montgomery will ⬇ 4w

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) pass into other hands with this generation.“ The footnote points out that James actually had adopted three children. I was immediately struck by how LMM definitely seems like the type of person who would not have remotely considered adopted children inheriting the same as the farm “staying in the family.“ Her high view of the Montgomerys comes through frequently, and she definitely has a lot of feelings about “class“ and who belongs ⬇ 4w

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) where.

It's interesting to me how deeply the idea of someone being “insane“ haunted LMM. She says on pg149 “Was my husband going out of his mind? He had every symptom given in the encyclopedia on that type of insanity. It was one of the things I had always had the most deeply rooted horror of.“

I wonder why it horrified her so much?? 4w

lauraisntwilder The week got away from me and I'm behind on my reading, but I'll come back and discuss when I get caught up! 4w

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Ugh, yes—I felt that lament, too. It‘s hard NOW to form new, deep friendships as an adult, and our circles & connections are so much broader. It wasn‘t just the impossibility of ever finding another kindred spirit like Frede (that‘s there, too), but losing a longtime friend in mid-life—the memories, shared jokes, and depth of knowledge that are GONE, and all the life ahead of her that she had to face without her beloved friend! 4w

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks The sections about Ewan were harder for me, too—especially because of my own “what ifs” and because so much has changed over the years with attitudes about and available treatment for mental illness. It‘s especially painful to see LMM‘s feelings of shame and helplessness, knowing both would be FAR different today. Then I wonder about how her own mental health might have been different if she hadn‘t married at all, or had married ⬇ 4w

BarbaraJean (cont‘d) someone different (just NOT Edwin Simpson 😏). That quote I highlighted last week about emotional heights and depths—I think she needed someone stable and grounded to help balance out that part of her emotional life. And I think you‘re right, her feelings about/responses to Ewan‘s depression had to affect his mental health as well! It seems like his depression triggered a vicious cycle that was very unhealthy for both of them. 4w

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks My guess about her horror of mental illness is that she saw it as deeply shameful, AND she worried it would be passed on to their children. Take her judgmental opinions and high views of her own heritage—not wanting to bring “that“ into the family—add in her deep fear over “what others would think,” plus the stigma at that time about mental health: and her deep horror about it makes a lot of sense to me. 4w

BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder I get it! I look forward to hearing your thoughts when you're caught up! 4w

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Suzie

Tripping Over Myself: A Memoir of a Life in Comedy | Shaun Micallef

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Where I read a memoir that highlights racism amid the life of one of my favourite comedians. Thank you Shaun Micallef for penning Tripping Over Myself.
https://www.suzs-space.com/tripping-over-myself-by-shaun-micallef/

BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

This week, we read the first part of volume 4 of the complete journals, where perhaps most significantly, LMM records her response to the end of WWI.

📚What are your thoughts on this week‘s section of the journals?
📚What sections or quotes stand out to you?

#LMMJournals #KindredSpiritsBuddyRead

JenlovesJT47, lauraisntwilder, TheAromaofBooks

BarbaraJean I was struck by her entry from Nov. 12, where she said she was “thankful—and bored!” The sudden end to the ups and downs, victories and reverses in the war, the feeling of NOT dreading the news—I can imagine how odd that must have felt to happen so suddenly, and what a strange void it must have left after she‘d been following the war news so closely and intensely for so long. It also made me wish I could feel bored about the news!!! (edited) 1mo

TheAromaofBooks It does make sense in a way. When you go through something so intense and so all-consuming, you do feel a little lost when it's over, even if you also are glad haha I personally LOVED the story that she got from an old friend of her mother's - her mother so glad to see the old friend because she needed help - “What is your trouble?“ “Oh, little Lucy Maud is SO sweet and lovely today... and I've NO ONE to help me enjoy her!“ I love that so much!! 1mo

TheAromaofBooks For some reason another story that stuck out to me was when she was talking about her Aunt Emily and how she's just kind of mean-spirited and doesn't even know it. “I recall some things that Aunt Emily said to me when I was a young girl that I can never forget - little poisoned arrows that have rankled ever since. Yet I have no doubt she forgets she ever said them and would be amazed if she were told of them.“ It just really made me think how ⬇ 1mo

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TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) important it is to watch what we say to people because you never know when something is going to stick with them!

And I LOVED that the story in Rilla where Rilla yells at the movie theater for the girl to pull the knife out of her stocking - is a true story! That made me so happy because that story has always cracked me up. 1mo

lauraisntwilder @TheAromaofBooks I find it so strange that she later went on to write a largely autobiographical series of books about a young orphan who is forever haunted by the mean things her mean, old relatives said about her while she was hiding under a table and that she would name that character EMILY. 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Yes!! I loved that story about her mother, and what a gift it was for her to hear it! It reminded me of the little packet of letters Anne receives when she visits her birthplace, giving her a glimpse of her mother's love and pride in little baby Anne. And I was so glad to discover that it was Frede who was the original for the movie theater story!! 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks @lauraisntwilder Isn't it wild how much of LMM's life shows up in little bits and pieces in her fiction? I hadn't even made the connection between Aunt Emily and Emily the character. What a parallel. And LMM's comments about Aunt Emily are also echoed in Marilla's memories of cruel things said to her as a child. 1mo

TheAromaofBooks @BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder - I have to say that the parts of this journal section that broke my heart a little were the ones where she talks about how important Frede is to her and how she doesn't know what she would do without that friendship. 😢 It's just so crazy how we have no idea what life is going to bring us, and how someone you think is going to be there to grow old with you might not be. But seeing how close they are - sooo sad!!! 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Ugh, YES. I keep a page flag at the outer edge of the week's reading, and I kept seeing the beginning of the next section, when she records Frede's death. It broke my heart every time she talked about her friendship with Frede, and I was reminded of how little time they had left together. 😭 1mo

TheAromaofBooks This week's section is going to be so sad!!! 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks With the journals, I usually read 20-ish pages on M-F… but yesterday was a rough day and I couldn‘t bear to start this section, knowing how it begins! 1mo

TheAromaofBooks That's usually what I do as well, but with the moving I have been wrapping up all my “chapter ish a day“ reads one at a time instead of trying to read a chapter out of a half dozen books 😂 So I am trying to read this entire journals section next and it's SO hard. And we can talk about this when we discuss this section, but I feel like one of the biographies kind of dissed LMM because she wrote more about her cat dying than Frede - but this has ⬇ 1mo

TheAromaofBooks (cont'd) been SO powerful and emotional and it's pages long! It's been really interesting to read the full journals for myself because there have definitely been several interpretations of her journals in the various biographies we read that I have NOT agreed with. 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Yeah, this week's section isn't an easy one to binge 😢 I read just the first entry last night and discovered that it's 20-ish pages—and I also thought about that criticism of LMM writing such a long entry about her cat's death. I was inclined to dismiss the comparison/criticism at the time—sometimes things are just too difficult to write about. But the length & emotion of this entry made me even more mad at that biographer! 1mo

28 likes14 comments

BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

“…think of all the fun you miss if you are non-excitable. There's nothing quite so wonderful as dancing around a blazing fire. What matter if it end only in gray ashes? And while walking is a sure and safe mode of locomotion it isn't half as exhilarating as flying, even if you do come down with a thud.”

This reminds me SO much of Anne! Doesn‘t Marilla use the same reasoning in reverse?!

#LMMJournals #KindredSpiritsBuddyRead

JenlovesJT47, lauraisntwilder, TheAromaofBooks

CSeydel Oh my gosh, I love this 1mo

TheAromaofBooks I do think this is such a great example of different personality types. I'm definitely in the “walk even though it's boring“ camp haha 1mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Yeah, I tend to agree with Marilla a bit on this one--I tend to privilege the sure and safe modes of locomotion so as to avoid the thud 😂 1mo

32 likes3 comments

BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

“This is part of Montgomery‘s great gift as a story teller—she actually relived the moments as her pen traced them on the page… It would be a mistake to underestimate the importance of the journals as living text. Her life is literally in these pages and in the pages of her novels.”
#LMMJournals #KindredSpiritsBuddyRead

I started Vol. 4 last night and really enjoyed the intro, as well as getting back into Maud‘s life. How‘s your reading coming?

JenlovesJT47, lauraisntwilder, TheAromaofBooks

JenlovesJT47 I haven‘t read any of the journals yet. Do you think it‘s essential to read them in order or does it matter? 1mo

TheAromaofBooks I started the journal yesterday... a brief delay when I realized I had accidentally purchased Volume 5 instead of Volume 4 😂 But I am back on track now that I am in the right year!! 1mo

BarbaraJean @JenlovesJT47 Oh, I didn‘t realize you hadn‘t read any of the journals yet! Do you want to still be tagged for the journal posts? I don‘t think it‘s essential to start from the beginning instead of jumping in partway through, but it‘s probably helpful to have some context for her life (biographies, etc.)—she does refer back to previous events, people, places, etc. 1mo

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BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks Hahaha! I asked for volume 4 for Christmas and was annoyingly specific on my list, realizing how similar all the titles are—they‘re not super clearly marked by volume numbers! I was paranoid my husband would get volume 5 accidentally 😆 1mo

JenlovesJT47 You can tag me, no problem. I got behind on reading the journals last year but I do have them downloaded already so I‘m going to start them soon. I love journaling myself so I‘m looking forward to these! 1mo

JenlovesJT47 I have read quite a few biographies about her so I will try to start on the current one this week. She was such an interesting person! 1mo

BarbaraJean @JenlovesJT47 Sounds good! She WAS such an interesting person—and such a good storyteller that her journals really bring her to life. I look forward to hearing your thoughts as you read! 1mo

35 likes7 comments

BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years: 1918-1921 | Jen Rubio L.M. Montgomery

Thank you everyone who voted on our next adjacent reads! Top picks:
Last of the Mohicans (6 votes)
Pollyanna (5 votes)
Life of Charlotte Bronte (4 votes)
I made the above schedule based on our votes & the Journals Vol. 4. We'll read Rilla and Pollyanna in May! Ivanhoe, More Tramps Abroad, and Beautiful Joe all received 3 votes each, so I'll plan to work those in later in the year.
#KindredSpiritsBuddyRead #LMMJournals #LMMReread #LMMAdjacent ⬇

rubyslippersreads, Daisey, LeahBergen, JenlovesJT47, CogsOfEncouragement, lauraisntwilder, kwmg40, TheAromaofBooks, Roary47, julieclair

BarbaraJean As always, all are welcome to join in for any part of the buddy read that strikes your fancy. I keep separate tag lists for each book and for the #LMMJournals read. Just let me know if you're not tagged and you'd like to be. @LitsyEvents 2mo

TheAromaofBooks Last of the Mohicans! I've always wanted to read this one, but I'm also scared 😂 Love the 5-chapters-a-week schedule for that one. 2mo

julieclair Yay! I‘m in for Pointed Firs and the Mohicans. And maybe for Rainbow Valley… please tag me for all three. 😃 2mo

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BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks 😂 It almost works out to chapter-a-day! I was torn between allotting 3 or 4 weeks for that one, but decided taking more time is never a bad thing 😆 2mo

BarbaraJean @julieclair I‘ve got you down for all three! 2mo

Daisey I‘m in for Last of the Mohicans! 2mo

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lauraisntwilder

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years 1911-1917 | Jen Rubio

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I fell behind in reading this with #kindredspiritsbuddyread last year, but I caught up this month by reading a few pages every morning. This is the third volume of LMM's journals and I've found them all so interesting. I especially like reading a little a day. It has made LMM feel like a companion.

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BarbaraJean

L.M. Montgomery's Complete Journals: The Ontario Years 1911-1917 | Jen Rubio

It‘s 11:30pm on Friday here, and I won‘t be able to finish this tonight. 😩 I have class all day tomorrow, so… here‘s a discussion prompt with zero questions and you can discuss amongst yourselves! Especially that section about LMM‘s “love affairs” 😆 (That‘s about as far as I‘ve gotten) I‘ll hop into the discussion as I‘m able and as I make progress in my reading!

JenlovesJT47, lauraisntwilder, TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks I still have about 40 pages left, so you are all good!! I will say that my favorite part of the “love affair“ section was when Edwin, who caused her so much stress and agony, and to whom she was actually ENGAGED, only gets one sentence! 😂 2mo

lauraisntwilder One of my main take aways from this volume was that I'm glad I didn't marry a clergyman! Those pastoral visits just about drove her to drink. 😂 It's so hard to imagine living in a time of such a huge war, with no 24 hr news cycle, no social media with reporters on the ground. My parents grew up in LA and have been following the wildfire news on YouTube. But poor Maud had to wait for a newspaper to be printed. 2mo

lauraisntwilder I sympathized with Maud's feelings of disconnection with Cavendish, while simultaneously the people who made home feel like home were dying or changing. 2mo

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lauraisntwilder Oh, but my favorite part in the whole book was Ewan's reaction to meeting Maud's sister. He was so rarely mentioned, but that line of his made me laugh. 2mo

BarbaraJean @TheAromaofBooks 😂 😂 I cracked up when she wrote there was no need to say much of him. I wrote in the margin: “Because so much has been said already!“ I loved that whole “love affair“ section, including the request from the editor that she write about it for “adoring Canadian girls“! The sweetness of finding out that her first crush “had really been all my young fancy had painted.“ And then the singer whose eyelids intrigued her 😂 ⬇ 2mo

BarbaraJean (Cont'd) I was struck by how often she said some man had cared terribly for her and then followed that by saying he had meant nothing to her. So flippant! And it makes me SO sad to read (again) that she was never in love with Ewan. With LMM having written love stories like Anne & Gilbert and Valancy & Barney... it makes me doubly sad she didn't have that love & partnership in her own life. Maybe part of why she needed friendships so deeply. 2mo

BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder Seriously! It brings to life all the more why she never wanted to marry a minister!! That one entry where she talked about how they'd been “visiting wildly“ to get in all those pastoral visits before the roads “broke up.“ I just couldn't. Ewan's reaction to her sister was hilarious. I wish we got more of a picture of what Ewan was really like. That one line made me like him a lot! 2mo

BarbaraJean All the bits and pieces about Page were fascinating and infuriating. Maud feels so many things so deeply, and with the war and the looming legal threat with Page, I can feel her struggles mounting. It makes me feel for her and wish she had a therapist!! Or at least a kindred spirit nearby. (That's probably another casualty of being a minister's wife, now that I think of it--hard to have a confidant among parishioners.) (edited) 2mo

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