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All That You Leave Behind
All That You Leave Behind: A Memoir | Erin Lee Carr
A documentary filmmaker and daughter of the late, great New York Times columnist David Carr celebrates and wrestles with her fathers legacy in a raw, redemptive memoir.O: The Oprah Magazine (The Best Nonfiction Books Coming Out in 2019) A breathtaking read . . . a testimony equal parts love and candor. David would have had it no other way.Ta-Nehisi Coates, bestselling author of Between the World and Me Dad: What will set you apart is not talent but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent is cheap. Me: OK I will ponder these things. I am a Carr. Dad: That should matter quite a bit, actually not the name but the guts of what that name means. A celebrated journalist, bestselling author (The Night of the Gun), and recovering addict, David Carr was in the prime of his career when he suffered a fatal collapse in the newsroom of The New York Times in 2015. Shattered by his death, his daughter Erin Lee Carr, at age twenty-seven an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker, began combing through the entirety of their shared correspondence1,936 items in totalin search of comfort and support. What started as an exercise in grief quickly grew into an active investigation: Did her fathers writings contain the answers to the question of how to move forward in life and work without her biggest champion by her side? How could she fill the space left behind by a man who had come to embody journalistic integrity, rigor, and hard reporting, whose mentorship meant everything not just to her but to the many who served alongside him? All That You Leave Behind is a poignant coming-of-age story that offers a raw and honest glimpse into the multilayered relationship between a daughter and a father. Through this lens, Erin comes to understand her own workplace missteps, existential crises, and relationship fails. While daughter and father bond over their mutual addictions and challenges with sobriety, it is their powerful sense of work and family that comes to ultimately define them. This unique combination of Erin Lee Carrs earnest prose and her fathers meaningful words offers a compelling read that shows us what it means to be vulnerable and lost, supported and found. It is a window into love, with all of its fierceness and frustrations. Thank you, Erin, for this beautiful book. Now I am going to steal all of your fathers remarkable advice and tell my kids I thought of it.Judd Apatow
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marleed
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Pickpick

David Karr beautifully captured his thoughts and encouragement of his daughter through his words written to her. …I lost a parent first as a toddler and next at 48. In my 30s I was gifted a book called Motherless Daughters realizing then absolutely every age is the wrong age to lose a parent. …To be 26, following in your beloved father‘s pro footsteps, battling the addiction he knew all too well - argh that had to be tough to move through.

Megabooks This is such a fantastic memoir. Glad you enjoyed it, too. 5d
marleed @Megabooks I was late to the game reading this but it‘s a timeless story - I‘m so glad I selected it from my TBR shelves. 2d
82 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Suet624
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Pickpick

I seem to be reading memoirs about dead fathers. This is my second in a row. Carr writes a beautiful testimony to her father, David, who died at 58. I thought I was a good parent but now I feel I have to kick it up a notch. David was a crack addict and alcoholic with twins who kicked it all to become a columnist at The NY Times. His advice to his children. and his (sometimes tough) love was ❤️❤️ 🔥

Burlington - where I finished reading this one.

LeahBergen Gorgeous! 2y
Cathythoughts ❤️ 2y
Suet624 @LeahBergen there‘s a 10 day jazz festival going on right now too. It‘s quite the scene. 2y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Beautiful 💙 ⛵️ 2y
66 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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Megabooks
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Pickpick

Fantastic #reread of a relatable memoir about a complicated parent-child relationship.

Erin‘s father was celebrated NYT writer David Carr, and this book explores their relationship prior to his shocking death at 58. She was just 25. He was her biggest supporter, but they also fought like only a deeply bonded parent/child can.

The book also covers the addiction they shared and what caused him to get sober years ago and her after his death.

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Megabooks
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Pickpick

I sped through this.

I though it would be more epistolary. It‘s not. I also thought the hard part would be reading about her father‘s sudden death, but it ended up being hard to read about her alcoholism that was inextricably bound with her memories of her father‘s final years.

David was an addict who got sober for his daughters. Erin was an alcoholic who got sober to honor her father‘s memory. The love and care that bound them was palpable. 4⭐️

Crazeedi Sounds like one that I'd cry through 4y
Megabooks @Crazeedi I did tear up but mostly I wanted to hug her. My dad gives great hugs and so did her dad. 4y
Crazeedi @Megabooks oh Meg that's what I miss most , my dad's hugs, he gave the best ones!💔❤ I may have to read. I've been trying to write something to everyone I've gotten card from, I'll write more , promise! Hows your dad? Thanks for being there 4y
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Megabooks @Crazeedi he‘s doing better. Short replies tonight due to back pain. Write more soon. I‘m just really hurting. 4y
Cinfhen This one sounds really sad. Im glad you found some comfort in it♥️ 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen yes. It was sad, but his unwavering support was beautiful. 4y
Megabooks @Crazeedi hey friend! So dad is doing better. His sodium has stabilized and he‘s able to fully participate in his rehab for 3-5 hours a day. He‘s been hooked to e-stim a lot and can now independently kick his leg but doesn‘t have finer movements or walking yet. He‘s working on his left arm/hand, but since he‘s right handed, he has fairly easily picked up one handed grooming and eating. Amazing progress! Thanks for asking too @kspenmoll 💖💖 4y
Crazeedi @Megabooks I know about the pain, ((hugs)), so glad to hear the progress your dad is making! That's great news💖 4y
kspenmoll @Megabooks So happy to hear he is progressing & is determined to !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ 4y
97 likes9 comments
blurb
Megabooks

So now that y‘all know I had a drinking problem...

The way you see people screaming at horror movies, “Don‘t open the door!” This is how I feel when reading about young alcoholics.

“Nooo...do not go from restaurant to the bar that does not serve food, girl!! No, no, no, don‘t go to the after party!!” 🙈

Having made those mistakes, it‘s just so hard to read about them. I just want to hug our 26-year-old selves & say, “There is life after booze!”

Cinfhen 💕when my daughter was really young, under 3 we went to Disney on Ice and it was Snow White and as Snow White is about to bite the apple my daughter literally shouted “NOOOOOOOOO!! Don‘t eat the apple, Snow WIPE. You‘ll be poison ☠️” Everyone around us burst out laughing and then my daughter burst out in tears. Such a specific memory/ 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen awww!! What a sweetheart. 💖 I‘m so sorry people made her cry. It does make for a funny story 20 some years later though. 💕 4y
Cinfhen It‘s almost 25 years ago!!!!!! Where do the years go?!?!?!?!!!! 4y
Megabooks @Cinfhen idk, it‘s hard to believe I‘ve been driving for nearly that long. It‘s hard to believe that I have lived longer since the accident that changed my life than before it by 6 years!! Time is a fickle mistress, that‘s for sure! 4y
78 likes4 comments
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Megabooks
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I‘m not sure this is the right time for this book. Erin‘s father, writer David Carr, dropped dead suddenly in 2015.

It makes me think of the call my father made to me after he had fallen & had the stoke. I was asleep, but I became used to popping awake quickly during my veterinary career. I‘m not sure I want to explore the alternative.

HOWEVER GREAT NEWS! Dad is kicking his leg that was paralyzed independently of e-stim! Just happened today.🎉⬇️

Megabooks Thank you to everyone who commented and suggested books on my last post!! I will hopefully get to that soon. Each day brings new joys and challenges!! 4y
Jas16 That is fantastic news!!! 4y
Bookwormjillk 👏👏👏 4y
BarbaraBB Such a good news! I am so happy for the three of you! 4y
Kelly_the_Bookish_Sidekick Hooray for another breakthrough! 👏🎉 4y
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alanamaghan92
Pickpick

As someone who lost a parent this book hit the feels.

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UnabridgedPod
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Pickpick

Erin Lee Carr's memoir All That You Leave Behind is a heartwrenchingly honest examination of the loss of her father. David Carr, New York Times columnist and author of The Night of the Gun (one of the books that cemented my love for nonfiction), was a giant in the eyes of the world and in the life of his daughter. (continued in comments)

UnabridgedPod Erin Carr, who struggles with the same alcohol addiction that plagued her father, is unflinching in her portrayal of her own behavior before and after her father's death. She has--as does anyone who has lost a parent (or anyone)--regrets, and she is so, so honest in her consideration of her father's place in her life. Beautiful, tender, raw tribute. 6y
10 likes1 comment
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Cconnolly
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Mehso-so

This was a quick read, but I don‘t feel that I gained anything. I was hoping for more of a father-daughter relationship story, but most of the story was about Erin‘s struggles with alcohol. I am intrigued to learn more about David Carr. This is what happens when I read memoirs or biographies, it opens up a new chapter of discovery for me. Glad that I read it, but can‘t give it a thumbs up.

Cinfhen Helpful review, thanks 😉🙏🏻 6y
JanuarieTimewalker13 He was interesting in Page One...documentary about the NYT...if you haven‘t seen that already, I highly recommend! 6y
Cconnolly @JanuarieTimewalker13, thanks for the recommendation. 6y
JanuarieTimewalker13 No problem🌸 6y
31 likes4 comments
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catiewithac
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Pickpick

I cancelled my #botm subscription again because I hope to try out the non-fiction beta version. I chose this as my April book because it was the only memoir option among fiction. Erin Lee Carr does a great job of bringing her relationship with her father to life. Honestly, I prefer his words to hers; he‘s by far the more articulate Carr. The author comes across as whiny, but she doesn‘t paint herself & her struggles with sobriety in a rosy light.

8little_paws Yeah I'm increasingly drawn to the nonfiction version as well 6y
43 likes1 comment
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j9brown
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Pickpick

The author wrote really wonderfully about grief and mourning, and was brutally honest about her alcoholism.
That said, I'm not sure I would have been quite as into this if I hadn't already read The Night of the Gun (her father's book). Memoirs by young people aren't usually my thing. Glad I chose it, though! #botm

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j9brown
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Wrapping up the weekend with a good book and some hot tea in my favorite mug #SelfCareSunday

Also! @Wonderwoman89 your #funkopopandbookswap packages have arrived! I took barely a peek inside, just enough to know what it was for and who from 😝 Very excited for opening day! It's hard to resist sneaking a bigger peek! 🤣 @kstadt929

Erofan Pretty mug 🐰😍 6y
kstadt929 Yay! Thanks for the update! Not too long now until opening day!! 6y
Wonderwoman89 There is another one coming Monday 6y
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darklydreaming Cute mug 😊 6y
StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego Adorable mug 💖 6y
j9brown @Wonderwoman89 It has arrived! 💃😀 6y
Wonderwoman89 Yeaa I hope you like it 6y
37 likes8 comments
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catiewithac
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I rejoined #botm last month because of a special offer, but I didn‘t cancel before I was charged for April. So I used my credit and added on one of the nonfiction extras. I‘m planning to cancel this subscription and rejoin the nonfiction beta club. Just not a popular fiction reader.🤷‍♀️