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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying | Sallie Tisdale
21 posts | 7 read | 2 reading | 15 to read
A straightforward, wise, and humorous narrative field guide for both the dying and those who love them by an author who brings a unique set of qualifications to this delicate subjectshe's a Pushcart Prize-winning writer, a palliative care nurse with more than ten years of experience, and a lifelong Buddhist. If you don't plan, you're only limiting your options. We do not know when we will die. We may see it coming from far away, or all at once. But I will die and you will die. You believe that, don't you? You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Read a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guidesa guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortablebut she also explores its intimacies and joys. Tisdale looks at grief, what the last days and hours of life are like, and what happens to dead bodies. Advice for Future Corpses includes exercises designed to make you think differently about the inevitable. She includes practical advice, personal experience, a little Buddhist philosophy, and stories. But this isn't a book of inspiration or spiritual adviceAdvice for Future Corpses is about how you can get ready. Start by admitting that we are all future corpses.
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blurb
JenniferEgnor
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I just found out that aquamation is now legal here! It was part of a bill that passed this July! HB 4116. I never thought I would see the day in this state. I will be sharing this with the community and be sure to bring it up at my Death Cafes. I like to think of it as going in a big dishwasher for a good bath 🤣 This is my first choice for my final disposition and it‘s in my advanced directives.

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JenniferEgnor
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My Advanced Directives are officially completed and notarized! It feels so good to have this done, and it was fun. Death/Dying are usually not things anyone wants to talk/think about. But we should be. It‘s the most natural thing in the world; we‘re all going to do it one day. So live your most authentic life, & plan ahead. We are not promised the next moment. You‘ll be glad you got your legal documents done, your friends & family will be too.

Soubhiville Very smart advice. 6mo
JenniferEgnor @Soubhiville I‘ve been meaning to get it done for several months. Now that the medical part is done, I can start the living will portion. My husband and I plan to move within the next year or so 🤞🏻, up north. We do not like where we live, and what I want for my final disposition is not available here. I wanted to get this done, just in case…I left very specific instructions. I know that my side of the family would not honor what I ask for⬇️ 6mo
JenniferEgnor So I‘ve arranged for designated persons to ensure it happens, should death occur before I get to leave this state. 6mo
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dabbe My husband and I plan to get the ball rolling on this this summer. His skin cancer and my breast biopsy really put things in perspective. Great advice! 🤩😀🤗 6mo
bibliothecarivs @JenniferEgnor What was the process where you live? 6mo
JenniferEgnor @bibliothecarivs do you mean for final disposition? 6mo
bibliothecarivs @JenniferEgnor Getting the advanced directives completed. 6mo
JenniferEgnor @bibliothecarivs filling them out with as much detail as I could about what I do and don‘t want, listing power of attorney designees, and being with a witness so they could sign, then getting it notarized. 6mo
TieDyeDude There are so many great options besides being buried in a box. It's a shame options are so limited in many places. 6mo
JenniferEgnor @TieDyeDude I used to say cremation until I learned about other options. Green Burial is nice and I really like the idea of aquamation. 6mo
21 likes10 comments
review
JenniferEgnor
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Pickpick

I knew of this book before I asked my hospice coordinator for book recommendations. It was so informative, and written beautifully, gently. Everyone should read it. We will all experience the death of someone we know one day, and we will die, too. This book talks you through all of it, breaking down all the stigma that surrounds it, and helps you start with your own death plan and advanced directives. Highly recommended.

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JenniferEgnor
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Grief lives in the body. MRI studies show that a grieving brain has a pattern unlike other emotions. Most of the time, an emotion lights up parts of the brain, but grief is distributed everywhere, into areas associated with memory, metabolism, visual imagery, and more. Grief can make you sick; it can be brutal, even deadly. One is coming to grips with what forever means. And we don‘t do that all at once and we don‘t do it one day at a time ⬇️

JenniferEgnor but for one minute and then another. Don‘t ever say: Get over it, move on. She‘s in a better place now. 1y
JenniferEgnor I am reminded of something that was said on The Walking Dead. The pain doesn‘t go away—you just make room for it. 1y
11 likes2 comments
blurb
JenniferEgnor
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Jae Rim Lee founded the Infinity Burial Project and the Decompiculture Society. She created a burial shroud that looks like pjs, which contain a mix of mushroom mycelium and other microorganisms. After burial, the mushrooms sprout and speed up decomposition, releasing nutrients to the soil. Very cool!

https://deathcareindustry.com/the-coeio-infinity-mushroom-burial-suit/

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JenniferEgnor
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The idea behind it—that we are comforted by not having to see the dead body look dead; that we are somehow traumatized by such a sight, and able to find solace only by pretending they are still alive—is not supported by any science, or by history or anthropology, or our own experience. Embalming has been called the art of complete denial.

Shown: embalming in the civil war, the time in which it originated. I find it strange; not what I want.

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JenniferEgnor
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The corpse is a mirror; we are its reflection.

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JenniferEgnor
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When I watch snow falling, I see the transformation of the world into a smooth plane where differences disappear. The snow falls in fragments so delicate that a mere breath can destroy them—the way moments fall, the way our life passes by. It covers the earth with something strong and solid and pure. Each of us may be nothing more than a moving wave of change, but we are waves able to know that. We rise and fall in an infinitely deep and

JenniferEgnor timeless sea, upright and undisturbed. This is the other side of our dangerous situation. Dying is perfectly safe. It isn‘t going to hurt you. 1y
7 likes1 comment
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JenniferEgnor
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When we allow death to happen, we are not killing people, we are caring for them. We are loving them.

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JenniferEgnor
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What I don‘t think they realize is that when they pray for a healing, death is a healing…it‘s not the healing that you might want, but as sure as we‘re born, we‘re going to die. And we‘re healed from the troubles of this world.

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JenniferEgnor
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Dying is psychological work, emotional work, spiritual work.

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JenniferEgnor
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Smell is the most evocative of senses; the volatile molecules of the world enter us, literally, triggering memory and emotion, desire and disgust.

*when in a space with dying folx, be mindful of smells you bring in. They may not be able to handle them. On another note, my sense of smell is very strong. After having Covid and temporarily lost it, it came back even stronger. I find it fascinating how our brains hold memories tied to smells the

JenniferEgnor way that they do. I have memories of old men at church handing out peppermint candies. I associate lavender, with my wedding day. Makeup and cats, make me remember my Aunt‘s old house. 1y
6 likes1 comment
blurb
JenniferEgnor
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In Japan, there is an entire tradition of painting called Kusōzu—-which shows the 9 stages of a decaying corpse. It originated in the 14th century and was still developing in the 18th century.
How cool is this?!

Link for more insight: https://www.historytoday.com/history-matters/art-corpse

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JenniferEgnor
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The ancient Romans sometimes only said of a dead person, “Vixit”—-“He has lived.” The Laymi people of Bolivia say that a dead person has “gone to cultivate chili pepper.” This could tell us, I suppose, that people have always avoided the subject.

*if you‘ve never gone to a death cafe, you should! It‘s a space for a conversation about all things death, without stigma. Educational, supportive. Go to deathcafe.com to find one near you!

review
451Degrees
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Pickpick

A comprehensive guide to all humans for one‘s own death and those around you. Reflecting on the authors experience as a palliative care nurse and her own loss, Sallie Tisdale goes over what death can look like, how to pick a healthcare representative, and that grieving is not a linear line but one‘s own journey!

44 likes3 stack adds
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JenniferEgnor
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Life is a dangerous situation. It is the frailty of life that makes it precious. The china bowl is beautiful because sooner or later it will break…the life of the bowl is always existing in a dangerous situation. Such is our struggle: this precarious beauty. This inevitable wound. We forget—how easily we forget—that love and loss are intimate companions, that we love the real flower so much more than the plastic one, love the evanescence of

JenniferEgnor autumn‘s brilliant colors, the cast of twilight across a mountainside lasting only a moment. It is this very fragility that opens our hearts. 1y
11 likes1 comment
review
CuriousG
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Pickpick

Despite the title saying practical, past experiences had me thinking it would be more philosophical, but much of it was very practically based in supporting a dying person. I'm not currently in this situation, but glad I read it now with a clear head & can keep as reference material. Now to sit down with my husband & make clear death plans. I thought I had a clear idea & people around me would know my thoughts/intentions...(continued in comments)

CuriousG ...but now I know better. A power of attorney for personal care, and generally stating to your loved ones what you might want, is still not enough if you truly want those around you to have a solid understanding of what medical interventions/treatments/quality of life measures you do/don't want. This book has solid Appendices to help you develop a death plan though. Excellent resource! 2y
23 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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CuriousG
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I'm posting one book per day from the ever growing unread stacks in my personal library. No description or explanation, just books I own and plan to read. #tbr

Day 23

EvieBee Lol! I feel like I need this in my life at the moment. 4y
CuriousG @EvieBee I'm a little morbid and I just loved the title so much I had to buy it. Should probably get around to reading it before I become a corpse. 😄 4y
19 likes2 comments
review
atransparenteyeball
Pickpick

A beautifully written book that explores our perceptions of and traditions around death and dying.

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non_material_girl
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A light bit of reading 😬 Here's the thing: death scares me. And the recent passing of my stepfather has shaken us. It's easy to think we have all the time in the world to do the stuff we want. But, we just don't. So, instead of planning to do things next year/ next month/next week, do them today 🙋

Chelleo Very good and timely advice! Welcome to Litsy! Hope these #Litsytips by @RaimeyGallant http://bit.ly/litsytips and #LitsyHowTo videos: goo.gl/UrCpoU are helpful. There‘s so many fun things to do: book exchanges, buddy reads, photo challenges and more! Check out @LitsyHappenings for details. #LitsyWelcomeWagon
6y
RaimeyGallant Welcome! 6y
Eggs Agreed; sorry for your loss 😢. I lost my brother this past summer and it hit hard. I now do anything I can as well as I can, in honor of him who can no longer experience physical life. BTW welcome to Litsy 👋🏻🤗🍁 6y
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DebinHawaii Welcome to Litsy!! 🎉📚🎉Hope you enjoy it here! 6y
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thereadingowlvina Welcome to Litsy! 🤗💛 6y
RadicalReader @non_material_girl this is the best and most awesome username that I have ever seen wishing you a wonderful time here on Litsy and many wonderful books come your way 6y
CoffeeNBooks Welcome to Litsy! 🎉 6y
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Bookladylinda Welcome to Litsy!!! 6y
non_material_girl @RadicalReader Haha, thank you! 😁 6y
non_material_girl @CarolynM thank you! 😁 6y
non_material_girl @Chelleo Thanks for the warm welcome and the links. Much appreciated 😁 6y
non_material_girl @Eggs So sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. Thank you so much for the warm welcome 😁 6y
RadicalReader @non_material_girl how did you discover Litsy? I had found it simply from it being a new app on the App Store and my curiosity got the better of me so I had to check it out 6y
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rather_be_reading welcome to litsy!! 📚🎃📚 6y
15 likes3 stack adds25 comments
blurb
Jbailey
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Just started this yesterday. Very different from what I normally read but quite interesting!