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Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man
Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man | Emmanuel Acho
67 posts | 49 read | 55 to read
An urgent primer on race and racism, from the host of the viral hit video series Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man You cannot fix a problem you do not know you have. So begins Emmanuel Acho in his essential guide to the truths Americans need to know to address the systemic racism that has recently electrified protests in all fifty states. There is a fix, Acho says. But in order to access it, were going to have to have some uncomfortable conversations. In Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man, Acho takes on all the questions, large and small, insensitive and taboo, many white Americans are afraid to askyet which all Americans need the answers to, now more than ever. With the same open-hearted generosity that has made his video series a phenomenon, Acho explains the vital core of such fraught concepts as white privilege, cultural appropriation, and reverse racism. In his own words, he provides a space of compassion and understanding in a discussion that can lack both. He asks only for the readers curiositybut along the way, he will galvanize all of us to join the antiracist fight.
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BiblioBoyd
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“White privilege is about the word white, not rich. It's having advantage built into your life. It's not saying your life hasn't been hard; it's saying your skin color hasn't contributed to the difficulty in your life.”

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BiblioBoyd
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Pickpick

An important read. Because being an Ally means more than just saying you support Black Lives. It means doing your homework and listening to the lived experience of those you support.

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Julsmarshall
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Pickpick

This was really good. Made me think, wonder, and share pieces of it with my family. Highly recommend! Great on #audio. #BookspinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 2y
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sdbruening
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Mehso-so

This was a quick listen. Most of what he said I have heard/read before in other books about race. Some new tidbits though. Very approachable and an easy-to-listen-to style.

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Soubhiville
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Pickpick

This is a great addition to the info available to fight racism. I appreciated the format, it really was like listening to conversations, and Acho approaches the questions he‘s been asked in a way that asks us (white people) to embrace our discomfort so we can learn from it. I‘ll be sharing this one in my LFL and hoping my neighbors also learn from it.

Amiable Look at that sweet doggie face! 🐶 3y
Pageturner1 🤗 3y
Leftcoastzen 👍🐶 3y
See All 6 Comments
batsy 🐶😍 3y
Hooked_on_books I liked this one, too! He has such a good approach (plus it doesn‘t hurt that he‘s very attractive!). Sietje looks unsure! 😂 Hi little one! 👋🏼 3y
JudeCC 😻 😻 😻 3y
76 likes6 comments
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Kenyazero
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Pickpick

If you‘re looking for a book to introduce someone to anti racist ideas in a mostly non confrontational way, this might be a good book to start with. It didn‘t bring anything new to the conversation for me after reading other books on anti racism, but it was an enjoyable, conversational read. #Nonfiction #Antiracism #Inclusivity

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ICantImReading
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Acho‘s open-hearted and honest approach to encouraging people to get uncomfortable and have discussions about systemic racism is so effective. He says we learn our history too young in America, and I agree - we have to make an effort to re-learn the implications of our nation‘s history. I appreciated that he provided so much historical context and cited additional resources to research. He has the potential to impact so many hearts. 🎧

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behudd
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Acho has such a gift to invite you in, tell it like it is, give you no room to be wishy-washy, but also respect where you are & where you're moving to next.
The best part of this book was how concisely he is able to give the history of so many interconnected, nuanced topics - every single topic comes with a history lesson that I found so powerful & easy to understand.
Highly, highly recommend.

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stretchkev
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Pickpick

Doesn't hold back even a little when getting into uncomfortable and awkward topics. A good place to start.

Great as a resource and for resources for future readings.

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AvidReader25
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Pickpick

Read this one! It's not Acho's job to explain racism, but I'm so grateful he tackles these tough topics.

"Everyone has biases. It‘s the job of empathetic and considerate people not to let them dictate actions that harm others.”

“White privilege is about the word white, not rich. It's having advantage built into your life. It's not saying your life hasn't been hard; it's saying your skin color hasn't contributed to the difficulty in your life.”

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janeycanuck
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Pickpick

I wasn't sure if this was just going to be a written version of Acho's YouTube series but it wasn't. There's more depth (though, there are some pieces of history I think he could have delved deeper into) but keeps the same accessible approach as his videos. He peppers the book with further resources to learn more, which is excellent, as I do think this is a book more for when a white person is starting to investigate their relationship with race.

AvidReader25 I‘ve been interested in this one! 3y
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AmyK1
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Pickpick

“...racism has always been about power. Which is to say, we invented racism. Which is to say, maybe we can learn to uninvent it, too.”

This was good. I liked his conversational tone and that he included additional books/articles/websites to check out at the end of each chapter.

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JenReadsAlot
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Pickpick

Highly recommended! #audio

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NovelNancyM
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Pickpick

This is a must read for everyone - especially white people! So accessible and pragmatic that anyone who is willing to learn and grow as a human being should read this! It addresses some touchy issues in a non-judgmental way and offers practical advice for how we can change our thinking and our ways.

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behudd
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Dear white friends, countrypersons: welcome.

#FirstLineFridays
@ShyBookOwl

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Soubhiville
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Thank you @Hooked_on_books , I love the variety of your birthday package! I‘m really curious about the salts and whether I can detect any difference in flavor between them. I like the island tattoo-ish graphic of the mug and the tea smells great. I actually considered buying both Boyfriend Material and Conversations in NOLA but didn‘t 🙂. Sharks will be perfect for my Hawaii state book. And I love the cover for Jonny A. 🍎❤️

Hooked_on_books Hooray! I‘m glad I was able to get the mug to you safely this time! And I‘m curious about the salts, too—you‘ll have to let me know! I hope you enjoy it all and had a wonderful birthday! 🥳 3y
Soubhiville I know when I opened it I said the same thing! It‘s a big mug too, perfect for a long morning of reading- I won‘t have to get up to make a second cup 😁 3y
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JenniferEgnor
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Internalized racism: when people of color support white privilege and power, or when they‘re driven to doubt who they are, or doubt each other, or accept the status quo. This is everything from a kid wondering if they‘re “black enough”, to a formerly enslaved man seeking to buy his own grandson, to black people who use positions of power to reinforce racist policies or attitudes. It‘s part of what needs to change.

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JenniferEgnor
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We must all see color to see racism. Plus, color and ethnicity are part of what makes people human, and to deny any of us our particularity is to deny our humanity.

See the beauty, see the struggle. Stand in solidarity!

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JenniferEgnor
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Race was a political creation, an economic creation—all this hate developed to secure the interest of some seventeenth century dudes who wanted to get rich growing sugarcane and cotton, who wanted to make sure they‘d always be the class on top. Racism has always been about power. We invented racism. We can learn to uninvent it, too.

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JenniferEgnor
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When the first Africans arrived in 1619 in Virginia, there was no such thing as a white person. As far as the law is concerned, white people as a race didn‘t exist until 1681, when colonial American lawmakers sought to outlaw marriages between European people and others. Race is a social construct.

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JenniferEgnor
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How are you as a white person holding other white people accountable? True allyship demands that it move from conversation to action. And that action will include risks. Know that when you say you are an ally, you are saying you are willing to risk your white privilege in the name of justice and equality for marginalized voices. Being an ally means showing up. Take care that whatever you do is in counsel with black people. Keep showing up.

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JenniferEgnor
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Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month, or a year; it is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.

—John Lewis

BookmarkTavern What a great quote! ❤️ 4y
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JenniferEgnor
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When race conflicts have been instigated by white people, law enforcement has often responded on a spectrum from doing little to almost nothing, to deputizing other white people to participate, to being participants themselves. When instigated by black people, they have strong-armed protestors, arrested them, killed them.

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JenniferEgnor
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You can‘t just play all black keys and all white keys, because you won‘t maximize what the instrument has to offer. But integrate the keys together, and that is when the piano makes a joyful noise. That what this “we” is all about. If we can truly integrate white people and black people together, working in tandem, that‘s when our world will make its joyful noise.

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JenniferEgnor
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My journey of love can‘t be any different just because of the color of someone‘s skin. And people can‘t judge me for picking someone who doesn‘t look like me. I feel like they expect me to pick someone who looks just like me, but that‘s not fair. They should want me to fall in love with whoever it is that I vibe with.

—Rachel Lindsay

My father REALLY needs to get this. My mom too. LOVE IS LOVE🤍🤎🖤

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JenniferEgnor
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History has a huge part to play on what kind of America we live in now. What we see of the black family is the legacy of America‘s first black families. We just can‘t talk about the phenomenon of broken black families without the context of slavery.

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JenniferEgnor
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Poverty, not race, is a more accurate predictor of who commits crimes. To the extent that black-on-black crime exists, it‘s the product of, among other systemic factors. The best tough-on-crime bill is a tough—the toughest—on poverty bill. Yes, there‘s an issue with crime in many black communities, and it certainly needs to be addressed. But what black peoples don‘t need and can‘t stand is the stigma that this is only a black problem.

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JenniferEgnor
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The first gangs in America were actually white people, formed shortly after the Revolutionary War. Somehow, white men as a whole have not been marred by their violence.

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JenniferEgnor
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Vote, vote, vote, vote like your life depends on it. Like our lives depend on it. They do.

Shown: Ossoff and Warnock won the vote in a historic GA run-off election. January 6th, 2021

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JenniferEgnor
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For almost a century, black people were not allowed to legally vote, even as their bodies were used to beef up the Southern vote. Then they get the legal right to vote, only to face all kinds of nefarious tactics to keep them from it. They then face a justice system not of their peers but white people who send them to prison far more often than white people. Once freed, they face yet more obstacles to vote.

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JenniferEgnor
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White people have always been esteemed in this country, have always been celebrated. Black people have had to push to celebrate themselves and their culture in public. It‘s also why we often refer to each other as black kings and black queens. After a history of white society tearing black people down, it‘s about intentionally lifting each other up.

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JenniferEgnor
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Those of us who know our whites know one thing above all else: whiteness defends itself. Against change, against progress, against hope, against black dignity, against black lives, against reason, against truth, against facts, against native claims, against its own laws and customs.

—Tressie McMillan Cottom

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JenniferEgnor
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Dismantling systemic racism is nothing short of dismantling white supremacy. It‘s going to take a Herculean effort by all of us to tear it down.

Shown: insurrectionist terrorist hanging hateful flags inside the Capital, January 6th, 2021.

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JenniferEgnor
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Around the time the thirteenth amendment was passed, Southern white people were inventing Black Codes. Those laws coerced more black people into prison than ever before. It wasn‘t that black people had all of a sudden become criminals; it was that the laws began to criminalize black people. While the amendment ended slavery on the surface, its loophole paved the way for returning many black people to slavery.

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JenniferEgnor
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Founded in 1636, Harvard is the oldest institution of higher learning in America. The oldest HBCU is Cheyney University, founded in 1837. So, there‘s a two-hundred-year gap of higher education between white and black people. We must never lose sight of the truth that when black people were enslaved, they were forbidden to read and write, that their white owners did everything they could to keep them illiterate, undereducated, ignorant.

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JenniferEgnor
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First, it was the cabins and ‘The Big House‘. Then, it was Homer Hoyt, who started redlining. Even though redlining was outlawed in 1968, it‘s still happening. Add to this gentrification and predatory mortgages/rent, lack of community funding and resources, lack of living wages...and boom.

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JenniferEgnor
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Systemic racism is the legitimizing of every dynamic— historic, cultural, political, economic, institutional, and person to person—that gives advantages to white people, while at the same time producing a whole host of terrible effects for black people and other people of color. These effects show up as inequalities in power, opportunities, laws, and every other metric of how individuals and groups are treated.

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JenniferEgnor
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In 1775, the first derogatory usage of the term nigger shows up. Nigga is the form of the word that black people have used to seize some of the power of the word, to turn something that was meant to harm into something that might just have the potential to heal. It is not, like any of the other forms of the word, a word that is available to white people. If black people do or don‘t say it, that‘s up to black people.

WP: Don‘t do it. Ever.

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JenniferEgnor
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It‘s not white people‘s job to police the feelings of black people, but as fellow human beings, please grant black people the right to the full gamut of emotions regarding their wounds. The uncomfortable conversation is, where do these stereotypes come from? Who do these stereotypes serve? Let people have emotions. See them as individuals.

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JenniferEgnor
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Cultural appropriation happens when members of a dominant group— in the United States, white people— take elements from the culture of a people who are disempowered. It trivializes historic oppression. Lets people show love for a culture while still remaining prejudiced toward the people of the culture and let‘s privileged people profit from the labor of oppressed people. On top of that, it can perpetuate racist stereotypes.

•Don‘t do it.

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JenniferEgnor
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Not only does color blindness overlook the difference between the experience of being a black versus a white person in this country, it also provides a fertile ground for implicit biases to grow unrecognized and unchecked. Instead of being colorblind, be introspective. Take an implicit bias test. Http://implicit.harvard.edu./implicit/takeatest.html
Pay special attention to your biases when you‘re stressed.

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JenniferEgnor
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Black women have long been thought capable of bearing more physical pain, have received less careful, attentive, thorough healthcare, and have failed to be treated with dignity by health care professionals. Those factors create a chain of biological processes known as *weathering* that undermines black women‘s physical and mental health. Unconscious prejudices can manifest as a racist actions.

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JenniferEgnor
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Everyone has implicit bias, including me. They‘re not just about race— they‘re your knee-jerk judgments about every superficial difference between people. When an idea is conscious, you can change your mind.

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JenniferEgnor
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Ask someone their preference. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but it‘s the right thing to do.

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JenniferEgnor
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Pickpick

This book is wonderful and shows what ‘uncomfortable‘ conversations might look like, how to have them, and why. Every time I read another book like this, I learn something new. Doing the work of anti-racism is a life long task and if we are going to dismantle white supremacy, it‘s going to take all of us, together. Highly recommend this book.
🖤🤎👊🏿👊🏾👊🏽👊🏼👊🏻🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Shown: from a local BLM protest/vigil/march

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JenniferEgnor
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If Carolyn Bryant Donham hadn‘t lied, Emmet Till might be a happy grandfather right now; instead, he‘s a symbol of white privilege weaponized.

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megnews
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Pickpick

If you‘ve read anything else about anti-racism, there is nothing new here. However, the conversational tone and tips for beginners, along with Acho‘s football fame, could make this a great primer for those resistant to being educated about racism. It‘s also brief, 3.5 hours or so on audio.

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triplem80
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Pickpick

After listening to A Promised Land, this was a breeze! I think this is a great starter book for folks who are ready and willing to think about/talk about race. It was easy to listen to in the sense that it did feel conversational -- obviously the topics covered could be sad/frustrating/infuriating.

Another #Booked2021 prompt checked off! #antiracismbook

@4thhouseontheleft @BarbaraTheBibliophage @Cinfhen

Cinfhen Wonderful review 4y
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Areader2
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Pickpick

I think every white person should pick up and read this book.It‘s not enough to say your not a racist without education,understanding,awareness and knowledge this book is a great stepping stone to these things and has a great format of questions asked in every chapter,answered with history, current examples,hard conversations and ways to make change.EA gives a plethora of references for books, websites, organizations and podcasts to build on

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amma-keep-reading
Pickpick

I am pleasantly surprised by Emmanuel's candor in this book. I admit that my first impression of him was, “the likeable, safe Black guy on sports television“. I started this book thinking he was going to make superficial observations and insights. His tone was stern yet kind.