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Ejaculate Responsibly
Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion | Gabrielle Stanley Blair
20 posts | 19 read | 23 to read
In Ejaculate Responsibly, Gabrielle Blair expands on her viral Twitter thread and offers a provocative reframing of the abortion issue. In a series of 25 brief arguments, she deftly makes the case for moving the abortion debate away from controlling and legislating womens bodies and instead directs the focus on mens lack of accountability in preventing unwanted pregnancies. Highly readable, accessible, funny, and unflinching, Blair builds her argument by walking readers through the basics of fertility (men are 50 times more fertile than woman), the unfair burden placed on women when it comes to preventing pregnancy (90% of the birth control market is for women), the wrongheaded stigmas around birth control for men (condoms make sex less pleasurable, vasectomies are scary and emasculating), and the counterintuitive reality that men, who are fertile 100% of the time, take little to no responsibility for preventing pregnancy.
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TieDyeDude
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A couple passages to highlight a couple of the cultural issues discussed.

TheBookHippie I think I‘ve purchased 50 copies to far… I keep handing this book out!! 5mo
slategreyskies Wow. I haven‘t read this yet, but I‘m going to now. Thanks for this! 5mo
40 likes2 comments
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TieDyeDude
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Pickpick

This is the first major book released (that I'm aware of) about a conversion that is vitally important for humanity. Important doesn't mean good, though. It is very repetitive, often contradictory, and the scope is very narrow. It comes off as opinionated, because you don't find out til the end that the sources and end notes are available online.
All that said, even as a "woke liberal," I was absolutely schooled here ⤵️

TieDyeDude not because of what I didn't know, but because of never combining the individual pieces of my knowledge to fully appreciate just how f*cked up and apathetic our society is in regards to pregnancy, birth control, women's health care, and abortion. This book should be mailed to every winkled sack in Washington DC. 5mo
keithmalek I'm very much a Liberal as well, but I'm not "woke." "Woke" started off as something noble, but quickly crept into something authoritarian and ridiculous. 5mo
43 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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JenniferEgnor
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I can‘t stress these 126 pages enough. If you‘ve followed me for a while, you know I am unapologetically pro-choice. I am a clinic escort, abortion doula, and I volunteer with my local abortion fund. I‘ve used oral and injectable contraceptives for years, not just to prevent pregnancy. The few sexual partners I‘ve had used a condom. But how many of them always had the ‘no glove, no love‘ rule? How many of them had no issue with a vasectomy? ⬇️

JenniferEgnor My husband and I never wanted kids; we‘re enough for each other; we have 3 dogs and 1 cat. I was pressured for years to have children by my mother and co-workers. I was scorned by others for rejecting parenting. I‘ve had misogynistic experiences in the exam room with male providers. When I had my consultation for my chosen and wanted salpingectomy (tube removal), the provider—who was MALE—proceeded to talk to me about abstinence!!! WTF?!⬇️ 6mo
JenniferEgnor Somehow I know he would not have done this had it been a male patient. When my husband got his vasectomy, it was an in-out procedure. He did not have to go through all the barriers and misogyny that peoplx with uteruses do. Why is that? We know why. The author is right: the cause of every unwanted pregnancy is sperm. So why are men not held to the same standard that we are? Abortion will always be necessary and I will always support it.⬇️ (edited) 6mo
JenniferEgnor But it‘s past time for men to start taking responsibility. I can‘t begin to tell you how many conversations I‘ve had with other guys who said they didn‘t want children, or didn‘t want more children—but, they refused to get a vasectomy. One of them already had 4 kids and another on the way. Why continue to put his wife through that?Step it up, boys. (edited) 6mo
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JenniferEgnor One more note. I have a very serious heart problem. I‘ve already died from it before. I would not survive a pregnancy. Is it fair to strip me of my right to an abortion, to risk my life, to end my life, for rogue sperm??? Snip snip. 6mo
Deblovestoread 💯 Thank you for sharing your story. Women deserve the right to direct the course of their lives. It is a shame we still have to fight for that right. 6mo
JenniferEgnor @Deblovestoread you‘re welcome. Amazing how so many of us have very similar experiences and yet we are gaslit about it. We need more womxn in places of power. Why are our most personal decisions in the hands of men? Why are the directions and qualities of our lives decided by them? It has to end. 6mo
TieDyeDude Once I realized I was (a) asexual and generally not interested in sex, (b) was in my 30s and was not interested in having kids, and (c) could freeze sperm if something changed, I went to see my provider about a vasectomy. I had an older male provider, and he told me it was a bad decision, vasectomies were not as easily reversible as people said, and I should wait until I was older if I really wanted one... 5mo
JenniferEgnor @TieDyeDude thanks for sharing your story. I wish more space was given to Ace folx—I have a few friends who are Ace too. Can‘t say I‘m surprised about this doctor. What did you end up doing? 5mo
17 likes8 comments
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Jas16
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Thank you Litsy for putting this book on my radar. I appreciated Blair‘s take on the need for men to take responsibility for preventing unwanted pregnancies. Succinct and thought provoking, I will be convincing everyone I can to read this.

Reggie There‘s this book I read that was sci-fi and had to do with parallel universes and in one of them there was a vasectomy subsidy that men could get if they chose to got snipped. It sounded like a cool option. 8mo
Jas16 @Reggie That is a cool idea. 8mo
Suet624 @Reggie great idea. 8mo
51 likes3 comments
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Christinak
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The Washington Post said it perfectly in their review
”Blair‘s fresh reframe should be required reading for any person who has sex, wants to have sex or is raising someone who might have sex in the future. This slender book has what it takes to be the foundation for a movement.”

#womenshistorymonth

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CaliforniaCay
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Pickpick

In a perfect world, men would read this and be convinced of how and why they should ejaculate responsibly, resulting in fewer unwanted pregnancies and shifting the conversation about abortion away from blaming and legislating women alone. Alas, we don't live in a perfect world 😕 with its bold font, in your face statements, and startling statistics, I enjoyed this book. I hope one day it will be read far and wide and maybe change some minds.

52 likes1 stack add
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REPollock
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Pickpick

Every teenager in America should read this book. And every adult. A brilliant educational manifesto on eliminating elective abortion.

wildwoodreads Gorgeous flowers! 1y
REPollock @wildwoodreads it was a mystery plant, I didn't know what the flowers would look like until they opened! 🌼 1y
17 likes2 comments
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Julsmarshall
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Fantastic! This book was well researched, written, and a great read! The author argues for shifting the conversation about unwanted pregnancies from women and abortions to men and prevention. Women are fertile 2 days a month for an average of 35 years and men are fertile every day from puberty until death Birth control is safer, cheaper, and more easily accessible for men. For those reasons, and dozens of others, it is time to flip the script .

TheBookHippie I gave this to every single relative for Hanukkah and Christmas this past year 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼 2y
Julsmarshall That is a true testament to how much you loved it, @TheBookHippie We must spread the word! 2y
TheBookHippie @Julsmarshall I have been preaching about it since before it came out 😂 when she was writing it. 2y
ShelleyBooksie What an amazing title. 2y
57 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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Bookzombie
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Definitely a pick! This is a short, but important book. I thought the audio narration by the author was well done. #Booked2023 #AboutReproductiveRights

CarolynM Indeed! 2y
49 likes3 stack adds1 comment
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Soubhiville
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This is a very short book about men being responsible for their semen and where they put it. Blair points out that all unwanted pregnancies are caused by one thing- men ejaculating irresponsibly.

I love her point of view, and the idea that with better education we could teach people with semen to recognize they can prevent abortions very simply.

I‘d love to see this in the hands of teens of all genders. And adults!

MicheleinPhilly 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 2y
TheBookHippie I agree 💯 2y
89 likes2 comments
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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#Booked2023 #aboutreproductiverights
#Pantone2023 #cherrytomato
#nonfiction2023 #harpervalleypta

This book takes the conversation about repro rights and turns it on its head. That‘s a telling pun. Every abortion can be prevented by one thing—men acting responsibly. The author makes a book-length listicle (list+article). I enjoyed her audiobook narration and book content so much that I grabbed the ebook right after finishing a library audiobook.

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Hooked_on_books
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Every unwanted pregnancy has one thing in common: it occurred because sperm was ejaculated into a vagina. And yet we hold the vagina owner fully responsible for this. Blair suggests we reframe this conversation and hold everyone responsible for their own body fluids. This is a terrific, brief book, made all the more persuasive by the fact that the author has six kids and self-describes as religious.

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erindarlyn
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4/5 stars. A quick read about the author‘s position on a relevant topic. She uses short, readable chapters to present data to back up her position - one that posits that we are really focusing on the wrong thing as society debates and legislates and makes abortion the prominent factor of discussion when there are other things that are playing a larger role in the issue but that go ignored.

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JoyBlue
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High pick! These arguments are presented clearly and briefly . . . and are backed up by extensive sources. It‘s time to change the conversation. Read my full review here: https://debbybrauer.org/#ejaculate-responsibly

TheBookHippie I loved this. 2y
48 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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bibliothecarivs
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★★★★★ Every person who can ejaculate sperm should read this, no matter their position on abortion.

keithmalek Based on the description, I agree with most of it. However, just like how a man isn't allowed to weigh in on menstrual cramps and the physical pain of childbirth, a woman isn't allowed to tell me that getting a knife in my balls isn't scary. It's FAR less scary than actually raising a child, but still. And yes, condoms are somewhat uncomfortable too. 2y
BookDadGirlDad I would agree with most of the description. I'm big on personal responsibility when it comes to this topic. I don't believe this argument should be framed on control but responsibility. I wonder what the authors opinion would be if a man wanted the baby and the woman didn't or vice versa. If it takes two to make a baby, 2 should decide 2y
5 likes2 comments