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Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing
Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing: Essays | Lauren Hough
9 posts | 9 read | 2 reading | 6 to read
Searing and extremely personal essays from the heart of working-class America, shot through with the darkest elements the country can manifest--cults, homelessness, and hunger--while discovering light and humor in unexpected corners. A VINTAGE ORIGINAL. As an adult, Lauren Hough has had many identities: an airman in the U.S. Air Force, a cable guy, a bouncer at a gay club. As a child, however, she had none. Growing up as a member of the infamous cult The Children of God, Hough had her own self robbed from her. The cult took her all over the globe--to Germany, Japan, Texas, Chile--but it wasn't until she finally left for good that Lauren understood she could have a life beyond "The Family." Along the way, she's loaded up her car and started over, trading one life for the next. She's taken pilgrimages to the sights of her youth, been kept in solitary confinement, dated a lot of women, dabbled in drugs, and eventually found herself as what she always wanted to be: a writer. Here, as she sweeps through the underbelly of America--relying on friends, family, and strangers alike--she begins to excavate a new identity even as her past continues to trail her and color her world, relationships, and perceptions of self. At once razor-sharp, profoundly brave, and often very, very funny, the essays in Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing interrogate our notions of ecstasy, queerness, and what it means to live freely. Each piece is a reckoning: of survival, identity, and how to reclaim one's past when carving out a future.
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WorldsOkayestStepMom
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Pickpick

Soft pick. Took me a while to get used to Hough's writing style, but once I did, I enjoyed reading about her life.

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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Pickpick

My book club chose this without knowing Hough‘s book-review-related controversies. We still appreciated her writing style, despite its angry, dark edge. And there‘s plenty to discuss here—from a cult childhood and its after effects to misogynistic bosses and how people become unhoused. Def better than 3/5 but not quite 4/5.

Full review https://www.TheBibliophage.com
#thebibliophage2022
#nonfiction2022 #imarebel #rebel
#pantone2022 #arcticwolf

75 likes1 stack add
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JenniferEgnor
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Pickpick

I really enjoyed this book. Some parts were funny (coping mechanism), and most parts were terrible. This book is about the continuing lifelong trauma from the Children of God cult the author grew up in. It certainly wasn‘t easy being queer in that environment. She also talks about her later life experiences in the military, crappy jobs, bad relationships, and more.

Shown: David Berg, children of god cult leader

10 likes1 stack add
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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

I know the author made some trouble for herself when she trolled some book reviewers on Goodreads for giving a 4 star review. Unnecessary and shouldn‘t have happened. I read the book anyway, as it had already been purchased for the library. Essay collections are my jam and this was a good collection. Brutal descriptions of anti-lgbt actions against her while in the armed forces, homelessness, and her early years in a cult. Some great writing here.

Yuki_Onna Do you give it 5 stars? Because if you don't, you could get into serious trouble... 😉
3y
Megabooks I tried the audiobook and ended up returning it. Glad you enjoyed it though. 3y
Yuki_Onna I normally don't care about the actions of authors on social media or in public; I don't care in the least whether they are regarded as 'problematic', I will buy and read their books anyway when I'm interested.
But what she did was - well - so unnecessary and her posts afterwards so intentionally offensive that I cannot bring myself to read anything she might have to say. 😑
3y
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Chelsea.Poole @Yuki_Onna lol! I‘m in trouble then! 3y
Chelsea.Poole @Megabooks I am enthralled when a person is able to share their experiences and emotions well enough that I‘m able to put myself in their shoes. This hit that mark. 3y
Chelsea.Poole @Yuki_Onna I definitely understand. I knew that not everyone here would agree with my choice to read this. I must admit that I didn‘t follow much after the initial post. I don‘t agree with what she did, for sure. 3y
allureofbeauty This is one I probably would have read. Like it would have been right up my alley. But all that drama the author made I don‘t know if I ever will. 3y
Yuki_Onna And I completely understand your decision to read it - my post was not meant to criticize your choice in any way! In such matters one should choose as one feels most comfortable with.
But: NO 5 stars?!? Beware! If Lauren is a Litsy member, you're in some trouble!😆
3y
83 likes8 comments
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Julsmarshall
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Pickpick

Such a powerful set of essays from a compelling new voice! Raised in the Children of God cult, Hough has lived many lives in her years. After a challenging childhood, this gay Texas Airman endured the Air Force during don‘t ask don‘t tell, had a bunch of crappy jobs and worse relationships and still manages to find the meaning and humor in it all. If you read that hilarious“Cable Guy” article awhile back, this is her! #BookspinBingo

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alisiakae
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I usually avoid book twitter, but this came on my radar this week. Debut author Lauren Hough had went on a Twitter rant, doxxing and bullying a GR reviewer who gave her a 4 star review., and calling reviewers “fucking nerds on a power trip“. This is all over a 4 star review. She later compared the backlash against her to rape culture and victim blaming.

Her book is about PTSD, emotional struggles, and anger after leaving a cult. ⬇

alisiakae If you go to the books GR page, there are now dozens of 1 star reviews. I don't usually support reviewing books you've never read, but this author definitely engaged is some major assholery this week, and I'll be taking the book off my TBR.

How do you feel about reading or buying a book after an author engages in problematic behavior?
3y
TheSpineView What!?! 😯 3y
readingjedi Conflicted. I'm thinking specifically of JK being a TERF who I feel hugely disappointed in but wanting my daughter to enjoy Harry Potter as much as I did. This particular author seems to have some issues she needs to address. 3y
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alisiakae @readingjedi yes. We‘ve decided as a family to no longer buy any licensed HP merch. That will be rough when the next illustrates book comes out, since we had been collecting them. But we still enjoy the fandom. 3y
alisiakae @TheSpineView her anger over a very nice 4 star review is what I am most confused about! It was a great review that prompted the rant. 3y
TheSpineView @4thhouseontheleft It makes no sense. What was she thinking! 3y
That-Bookish-Hiker If the author is problematic like this and JK Rowling then I don‘t read any of their books or I stop. If that is how they act and feel then I don‘t want to read their books, what value do I get from them that I couldn‘t get from an author who doesn‘t treat readers like this? I can‘t believe she did this over a 4 star review. 3y
Gissy Tough question, should be treated in a respectful way, some opinions could be justified. I like to make my own decision, I‘ll try to see all the perspectives before make a judgement. At the end well maybe I will not read any other book from that author, who knows. It will be not easy due to social pressure but I‘ll try not to be impulsive in my decision. J.K. Rowling was terrible in her unacceptable expressions but I will not burn my books. (edited) 3y
5feet.of.fury That was too far, when you‘re doxxing small reviewers or comparing bad reviews to r*pe ...I can‘t put money in this persons pocket. Same as JK. If I just think they are rude or “a little much” or views differ from mine but they aren‘t dehumanizing, I will just ignore it. But this was... a lot. 3y
Sweetkokoro I watched this whole thing play out and it was horrific. It got to the point where she was quote tweeting so many that her follows started harassing some of the people. A few small reviewers had to lock their profiles. I don‘t agree with 1star bombing a book but I do understand how some view that has a way to speak out against rude, abusive authors. It‘s also appalling that she got that mad over a 4 star review. 3y
Scochrane26 @4thhouseontheleft This has come up a few times on Litsy this last week. @vivastory first talked about it & there‘s a good discussion on his post. So much drama over an excellent review! I think people did the 1 star reviews because it‘s the easiest way to protest on GR. I‘ve had an author tell me she stopped being on GR in order to avoid reviews. This author‘s actions make no sense. 3y
peaKnit She is terrible for doing this, just asking people to not read her book. A 4 is pretty good in my book 🤷🏼‍♀️ 3y
KatieDid927 My biggest issue is not only is she an asshole, she caused harm and abused the power dynamics at play here. She engaged in targeted harassment of reviewers who loved her books! And continues to do so with her quote tweets. Also equating valid criticism to rape is profoundly evil, and I hate women who do wrong and then try to claim valid criticism is sexism. It‘s all such a mess and she needs professional help. 3y
KatieDid927 @5feet.of.fury Yeah after the first instance she could‘ve just apologized and stepped back and it might‘ve blown over. Unfortunately, she comes across as someone who is emotionally abusive. At the very least. 3y
marleed Oh, I just researched this. What a clusterf##** she created. She must be extremely competitive to insist that hers is the first GR book ever to have nothing but 5* reviews. I wouldn‘t believe such a rating. Books that garner 5* rating have emotional appeal to its readers. An author simply can‘t connect on that level with every reader. Damn, Cate Blanchett narrates her book too, and now I don‘t think I can go there! 3y
alisiakae @Scochrane26 I haven‘t been able to scroll Litsy lately 😣 but I love how Littens almost always engage in complex discussions like this in a respectful way! I agree with why people 1 starred in response. While I personally won‘t do that, I fully respect other people‘s choice to do so. Most authors get that GR is more for reviewers than authors. 3y
alisiakae @KatieDid927 those are all excellent points. As a rape survivor, I absolutely abhor false equivalency comparisons to rape like what she did. 3y
alisiakae @5feet.of.fury I agree. 3y
Megabooks I had preordered this book and returned it to audible. I read at one point that she said she was drunk and high while tweeting all the original stuff. Not an excuse. I will refuse to support her writing going forward. It reminded me with a similar issue with Sarah Dessen a few years ago. I still don‘t read her either despite enjoying one of her books before the controversy. 3y
dylanisreading Problematic and unprofessional behavior at best. Emotional abuse at worst. I'm definitely not reading or recommending her book. 3y
55 likes1 stack add20 comments
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FelinesAndFelonies
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So... I had Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing on my TBR list but after this I'm definitely going to pass. Privilege. What a bitch.

KatieDid927 Yeah it‘s a hard pass for me on anything she ever writes. 3y
vivastory Yeah, she resurfaced a couple of days ago & during her tweet storm actually compared being review bombed to rape. 3y
FelinesAndFelonies @vivastory OMG. 🤯 I'll spend my 💵 elsewhere. 3y
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vivastory @MsMelissa Yeah, she said TW: Rape when she talked about someone's less than stellar review. When people point out that she instigated the entire mess by quote retweeting the 4.5 star review, she comments "Don't wear a short dress" implying victim blaming ?? 3y
Bookwormjillk What‘s wrong with a 4 star review? 3y
KatieDid927 @vivastory Yeah I just caught up myself as I‘ve been focused on the bigger news stories out there and she‘s an absolutely vile person. I will never read anything she ever writes. 3y
vivastory @Bookwormjillk It's so baffling!! 98% of the books I read get a 3-4 star rating. This means they're good books. Just not favorites of all time. 3y
vivastory @KatieDid927 When she was like, "I'll have the last laugh when you assholes have to read my book in school" Seriously?! How narcissistic can you be? 3y
FelinesAndFelonies @vivastory @KatieDid927 @Bookwormjillk I'm glad her character was revealed before I bought her book. Can't even. 3y
bookishcow Everyone has a right to review and base their opinions in what they think of the book. It sounds like she‘s a narcissist. 3y
Bookwormjillk @KatieDid927 right? There are a lot of things I don‘t understand in this country both large and small 🤷‍♀️ 3y
KatieDid927 @vivastory Yeah my response to that is LOL never happening ever, and if hell froze over and it did, I‘d write my kid a note saying they‘ll read a different book for class instead. 3y
KatieDid927 @Bookwormjillk My take with this is she probably is severely mentally ill and isn‘t treating it. Definitely some anxiety or depression or borderline personality or something she‘s self-medicating with weed for. It‘s not an excuse, plenty of people are mentally ill and manage to not be this horrible. People that care about her should suggest therapy instead of egging her on. 3y
KatieDid927 @FelinesAndFelonies Same. She really thinks alienating the entire online book community is a winning strategy. 3y
Susanita Yikes. I guess authors must hate me because I give mostly 3 or 4 stars. 3y
CoverToCoverGirl I have no words really 🤢🤮 3y
5feet.of.fury How did someone not take her phone/twitter machine? Like... just stop. Enough. Reviewer gave a 4.5 ..this is not a normal reaction... I will never read it now due to her ridiculous behavior and I probably would have based off a 4.5 review. 3y
KatieDid927 @5feet.of.fury I genuinely think she might have an undiagnosed borderline personality or malignant narcissistic disorder and no one around her is getting her the help she needs. Still an asshole, tho. 3y
Reggie I don‘t know if you watch any booktube but there is this channel MinaReads and she does a video on this called Are Authors OK? The Answer is No. it is hilarious. 3y
Clare-Dragonfly What??? What is her problem?! She thinks anyone who leaves 4 stars is just being cool and doesn‘t want to look weak by leaving 5? 🤨 3y
Leftcoastzen Just yikes .Books I really like get 4s .It‘s gotta be 💫⚡️great to get a 5. 3y
Leftcoastzen @Reggie loved the MinaReads segment.😄 3y
Reggie @Leftcoastzen Lol, I‘m so glad you liked it. She made me laugh so hard. 😁 3y
66 likes25 comments
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thewallflower0707

So, there is drama on book twitter involving this book & author. Hough screenshot a 4.5 star review of her new release on Goodreads and insulted and doxxed the reader and complained that she didn‘t get 5 stars. She later said she was high while tweeting. Her new book is getting lots of 1 star reviews now. Check out her twitter, it‘s ... a whole big mess.

#laurenhough #twitter #drama

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8little_paws
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YIKES. have you seen this internet drama? This book is getting lit up over at goodreads for how the author handles anything but a glowing 5 star review. That'll be a pass from me!

tpixie Oh my! I wonder if her publisher will pick her up again I bet she‘s difficult to work with her all around!! 3y
8little_paws @tpixie she is refusing to apologize for it, her statement was basically “I was tweeting at 3 am while stoned, so if you took me seriously that's your fault“ WOOF
3y
KatieDid927 Yeeeeeah. I saw another Litsy post about it a couple days ago. Actively alienating and shitting on the very people who would buy your books is certainly a choice. I will never touch this book or anything else she publishes. 3y
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KatieDid927 Also, the “no one likes you” does SO MUCH heavy lifting here. This is someone with SERIOUS internal emotional issues and self-hatred. That‘s fine! But, like, then stay off social media? Or don‘t publish? Or apologize when your self-hatred manifests as harmful abuse? She actively harassed a reviewer for a positive review. It‘s just so bad. 3y
KatieDid927 She literally called someone doing free labor for her by promoting her book with a glowing review an “asshole” and I will never get over it. 3y
TheBookHippie I saw this 😳 just wow 3y
julesG Way to build a fan base. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ 3y
8little_paws @katiedid927 it is totally bonkers 3y
quietjenn Got caught up in reading about this the other night. Just yowzers 😬 3y
Cinfhen Well that‘s how you self implode / I feel like it‘s the literary equivalent of Britney shaving her head 3y
Megabooks Yes, I returned the book to audible. There‘s a large thread of @vivastory ‘s page. What a b*tch! 3y
tpixie @8little_paws she really has self imploded! @Cinfhen that‘s a great equivalent. (edited) 3y
Cinfhen I feel bad for her publisher/ publicist @tpixie This is NOT how you sell a book 3y
8little_paws @Cinfhen that was my reaction too 3y
tpixie @Cinfhen yes! Totally agree. I bet that publisher is going crazy! 3y
Reggie Sorry I was late to the party on this but the night it happened I knew of it because of this booktuber who had me rolling.... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tvDHrH-9VBk 3y
candority I looked at her Twitter after this all went down, and since she deleted her original posts, all her supporters now think people on GR are attacking her randomly and she‘s not even remotely taking responsibility for her actions. It‘s so frustrating! 😠 3y
LoveToReadLiveToRead Usually, I hate people reviewing books they‘ve not read on GR and I hate mob tactics but....she‘s not endearing herself to anyone, those comments she made, publicly posting someone‘s actually excellent review, were out of line, as are the ones where she‘s now making out she‘s the victim and that it‘s happened because she didn‘t conform in some way, “didn‘t smile” she keeps saying. No, it happened because you were an ass, no other reason. 3y
JoeMo The whole thing is just petty and sad. More recently she released a weird stream on Twitter that made all of these excuses instead of taking responsibility for starting it all. Then there are some folks going way too far by doing things like threatening her and wishing she were dead. I was looking forward to the book, but I‘m in absolutely no rush to put any $ or support behind it at this point. 3y
KatieDid927 @LoveToReadLiveToRead What she did is targeted harassment. That‘s perpetuating harm, which she refuses to recognize, so while I haven‘t given her book a low rating myself I agree with you on all of this. 3y
46 likes20 comments