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Counting the Cost
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
38 posts | 51 read | 1 reading | 9 to read
For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC's hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans. Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn't possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family's way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle's nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn't protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married. But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore. For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members--they weren't willing to rock the boat. But now they're raising a family of their own, and they're done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.
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Bec_lectic
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I remember when this show first premiered introducing the Duggar‘s. I was immediately intrigued by this large family and their way of living. As years passed and that initial documentary blew up into a full series, I watched in curiosity to see how these children would grow up, date, and navigate adulthood. I never realized how strict their upbringing really was. This was a very insightful look into their lives but also quite disturbing.

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Shannon_McKinney
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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She did a great job telling her story & I totally feel for her. We‘ve dealt with quite a similar situation (in regards to how they dress) with my husbands family - just not in the public eye. My husband wore shorts for the 1st time in his life this year - he‘s 33. When I graduated nursing school 8 years ago I wore scrubs & was chastised so badly by his family. I still wear skirts to this day.

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Maggie_Reads
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I read this within 24 hours. She writes the truth about what life was really like behind the camera, while trying to be respectful to her family, especially her parents who essentially protected her abuser. Derick is the husband this woman needed as he gave her the strength she needed to learn to stand up for herself. Way to go Jill!! Wishing you and your family a beautiful and bright future. 🌈 💫 👏🏻

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Maggie_Reads
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I decided to take a break from the LHOTP series I‘ve been reading to pick up the book I placed on hold at our library. I was one of those people who admired the Duggar family until their oldest son‘s secrets came to light. I‘ve seen Jill and Jinger speaking out, respectfully, against their family‘s beliefs and now I want to read their books and learn more about Bill Gothard‘s organization and the rules he set in place.

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Amor4Libros
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Glad I read this. It‘s hard to read about what people have to go through because of the decisions made for them as children and not being protected by those who are supposed to love them the most.

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Amor4Libros
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I‘ve watched episodes of the show here and there, and watched the doc on Prime. Listening to this is so sad and infuriating…

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Bookwormjillk
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I never watched this show but I loved to read the snark on Television Without Pity. I thought Jill did a good job with this book. She told a balanced story.

bookandbedandtea I never watched this show either but I just finished The Book Of Essie and it makes me very curious to hear what Jill has to say. 6mo
59 likes1 comment
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nonbinaryandbitter
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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This book was as transparent as I hoped and I was really into it.

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pdxannie
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I am actually so surprised by this book. Jill‘s ghost writer is better than Mariah Carey‘s (and Britney Spears‘). I binged 19 Kids and Counting when I was recovering from my hysterectomy and it seemed obvious at the time that the kids were being exploited but jeez.

birdie_gw Listening to the audiobook! 6mo
birdie_gw Did you watch the Amazon doc about their church? Shiny happy people I think 6mo
pdxannie @birdie_gw I did! So good yet so disturbing 6mo
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ClairesReads
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Look I love reality tv and I love a good background look into the drama. Better yet that there‘s some intense religious vibes and serious wrongdoing of many kinds here. An excellent recommendation from a friend that I greedily consumed on audio.

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Suet624
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I‘ve never watched a second of any of the Duggar‘s shows. 19 children just seemed religiously cult-y. So why did I listen to this? Because it‘s what was available to listen to on Libby. 😊 It turned out to be a thoughtful piece on a person who had to work very hard to separate from her father & a media company. Being the first (and maybe only one) in a family to recognize the wrongs inflicted within a family is very tough & I applaud her.

JenniferEgnor I watched Shiny Happy People on Netflix. I knew about the quiver full cult already, but I find these fascinating. It amazes me how these people hate anything sexual but yet are so obsessed with it. And there‘s so much misogyny. I come from a fundamentalist background and being out of it, I can really see the harm that a strict heteronormative teaching causes. 7mo
Suet624 @JenniferEgnor so well stated. And so much misogyny! And the emotional lengths this woman had to go to just to wear pants! I had to laugh, but it was super sad too. So messed up. 7mo
JenniferEgnor @Suet624 my aunt has refused to wear pants all her life. She said it was ‘my conviction‘. But that‘s horseshit—she was raised in a hostile, misogynist environment that told her not to wear them. Her sisters went on to wear them. But not her. Sad that it still takes up space in her head and she pays the rent. 7mo
Suet624 @JenniferEgnor Infuriating and sad. 7mo
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jdiehr
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Finally got a chance to listen to Jill tell her story.

At its heart, this is a story about someone evolving, growing, and deciding for herself what she wants her life to look like.

I truly believe that her parents are good people and love their kids. I think the kids feel that way, too.

That being said, mistakes were made.

It takes courage to step back and look at the way you were raised, analyze it, and make up ones own mind.

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MonicaLoves2Read
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I listened to the audiobook.

Jill grew up in the public eye from the age of 9, when her family started the show the Duggars.
She tells her story with compassion and grace. As a young girl, she was very submissive, but now she is a strong independent woman.

#bookspinbingo #nomfictiin #jumpstart2024

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Amie
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Mehso-so

Some of this was interesting, but I wanted more analysis about why this show and lifestyle are harmful and stronger denouncement of the religion and the Duggar parents.

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bio_chem06
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I‘m basically a book a day with this post op situation. Stupid gallbladder! But I‘m loving the fact that the stack of books next to my bed is significantly less than it was. And what I can say about this book, I‘m so glad that this girl married a guy who was not part of the fundamental church group like her parents. They seem to be great partners for each other and I hope it works out for them.

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Chelsea.Poole
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I love a cult doc and binged “Shiny Happy People” on Amazon Prime which led me to this brave book written and read by Jill Duggar who is one of the 19 children of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar from TLCs 19 Kids and Counting (subject of the doc). I‘m sure it‘s so freeing for Jill to be able to share her story. Her father doesn‘t come off great here but it‘s not written in a salacious/gossipy way. Also tried starting Jinger‘s book but bailed. ⬇️

Chelsea.Poole I should say the ultra-religious fundamentalist Christian communities are fascinating to me in a “I can‘t look away from this trauma” way. Jill presents herself as honest, intelligent, and learning to live on her own terms while still practjng her faith with her husband. It wasn‘t super religious (like Jinger‘s, which turned me off) so this really worked for me as a memoir lover. 12mo
Suet624 The fact that these religious groups require women to have so many children just shows how much religion has infiltrated our politics (looking at you SCOTUS) 7mo
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britt_brooke
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Jill Duggar Dillard lays out her life growing up in the IBLP religion (ahem, cult). Homeschooled, and vastly cutoff from the outside world, but totally exploited on tv. It wasn‘t for the money, y‘all, it was for Jesus. Okay, Jim Bob. Sure. Jill and Derick are incredible. It takes courage to leave such a controlling situation. And let‘s not forget the sexual deviant brother. I‘d like more accounts from this family.

sblbooks I read Jinger's book for nonfiction November. It's good as well. This one is on my TBR. 12mo
britt_brooke @sblbooks Adding to my TBR - thanks!! 12mo
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Born.A.Reader
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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🍃 Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar. The strength it took to distance herself from the toxic environment she grew up in was inspiring.
🍃 🍃 Any number of my favorite Christmas books! Richard Paul Evans is a new favorite Christmas author. 🎄
#Two4Tuesday
@TheSpineView

TheSpineView I've only read one book by Evans. I need to add him to my TBR list for the #WinterGames 12mo
Born.A.Reader The Christmas Box was the first one I read and I loved it! Two more followed in that trilogy. 12mo
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HeatherBookNerd
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I had watched the documentary Shiny Happy People and was interested to follow up with Jill Duggar‘s memoir. Pretty fascinating. So glad she‘s been able to shed the toxic religious beliefs that surrounded her childhood and is forging a new healthier path.

mom_of_4 I have this on hold at the library but there so many people ahead of me. 12mo
HeatherBookNerd @mom_of_4 you‘ll get there! 12mo
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CrystalE02
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I enjoyed this book. Jill's story was amazing. I felt like she told more in her book than Jinger did. I rated this book a 4 out of 5 stars.

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britt_brooke
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Started the tagged book while walking Champ this morning. Fall is my favorite! 🍁🍂 #audiowalk

LeahBergen Have you watched the Shiny Happy People documentary? Yikes! 12mo
britt_brooke @LeahBergen No, but I definitely will - thanks! 12mo
tpixie Oh! How beautiful! I miss those fiery maple 🍁 tree leaves 🍁 Where I live now, it‘s mostly cottonwoods that turn yellow at best, and some oaks that turn brown, but very few maples. Thanks for sharing! 12mo
britt_brooke @tpixie They‘re my favorite! We‘re lucky have many in our neighborhood. 12mo
tpixie @britt_brooke yes! Gorgeous! 12mo
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Addison_Reads
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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#NonfictionNovember

I've never watched the show, but I will admit to being intrigued by this family for a long time. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. Jill offers a candid look into what it was like growing up a Duggar. She also opens up about breaking free of her family. How she was able to still be around her father after realizing the control he had over her for years really shows maturity and strength on her part.

melissajayne Watched the show and have watched the Prime miniseries “Happy Smiling People“ that Jill and Derrick are the primary focus of. 12mo
sblbooks This one's on my TBR. I enjoyed reading Jinger's book for nonfiction November. 12mo
Addison_Reads @sblbooks I have that one on hold on Libby. I'm excited to read it. 12mo
bookishbitch I 100% knew at least one of them would grow up to write a book. And that it wasn't going to be all roses and butterflies. With that many kids how on earth do you have quality time as a parent with each? 12mo
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Branwen
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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"To those who have been harmed in the name of 'religion'. To those who have suffered behind closed doors and have yet to find their voice."

??? Already crying!

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Branwen
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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My hold for this one came in! I'm really interested to hear Jill's story and also hoping reading about her journey will help me with healing from my own religious trauma! 💕📖

Jjaxn95 I‘m interested to hear how you feel about this. I‘ve got some religious trauma to heal as well. 12mo
Branwen @Jjaxn95 I'm really looking forward to seeing where this book takes me, in regards to Jill's journey and my own! I'm excited to share my thoughts about it with you! 💕📚 12mo
36 likes2 comments
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emilycoc
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I don't usually like celebrity memoirs, but I was struck by just how sad Jill's story was. Glad I gave this one a shot. #bookelevenof2023

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Sully1
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Wow! This was a respectful, but eye opening look into the family business.

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Amandakay
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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She‘s so brave to share her story.

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Megabooks
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Yes, I will admit to being a 19 Kids and Counting watcher. And now knowing the harm perpetrated by the ultra fundamentalist IBLP I feel really bad about it. But Jill was harmed beyond that both by her pedophile brother and controlling father. This is her story and that of her and her husband‘s fight to be adequately compensated for their work on the show. Her dad Jim Bob did some shady shady stuff business-wise. V interesting!

Megabooks I mean her dad being angry when she was a grown woman that she didn‘t call him to pray about whether she could wear pants…that is 🍌👖 13mo
Suet624 These groups are all so suspect. 13mo
britt_brooke Looking forward to this one! My hold should come in soon. Great review! 13mo
See All 11 Comments
Christine Have you had a chance to check out the Shiny Happy People doc series? 13mo
ChaoticMissAdventures I know nothing about this family, but it sounds like she is very lucky to have found her husband, and her father has seemed to have lost control of her. 13mo
Megabooks @Suet624 💯💯💯 13mo
Megabooks @britt_brooke I waited for a library copy too and there was a huge line both in front of and behind me. I turned it around in 24 hours! Interested to read what you think. 13mo
Megabooks @Christine I have and I loved it. Before even watching it I had followed Tia Levings, the former IBLP writer who spoke in the doc, on social media. She has a lot of thoughtful content that has deepened my knowledge and skepticism. If you‘re on Insta or TikTok, she‘s worth a follow if you‘re interested! 13mo
Megabooks @ChaoticMissAdventures yes! Both she and her sister Jinger, who wrote this ➡️, were lucky to find men who helped them disentangle (Jinger‘s words) both their faith from IBLP and their control from their father. It is quite lucky because their father picked both men. Their brother, who molested them and is now serving 12 years for possessing child porn, is still married to his wife. Her life is VERY sad. Other sisters have not been as lucky. 13mo
Megabooks @ChaoticMissAdventures as far as who their husbands are and what they are “allowed” to believe and do. 13mo
Christine Oh great and yes, now I remember you mentioning that re: Tia Levings! I‘m looking forward to her memoir. 13mo
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SassyBookworm
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Wow! Some of the things she wrote about just amazed me. Especially the part about them not getting paid for their part in the tv production for the longest time, & having to fight for it! Many of the IBLP principals she mentioned were adapted in to the conservative Christian culture that I grew up in so many of the problems she wrote about with that were quite familiar. Hopefully with time the family will heal.

#SassyBookworm😏 #CountingtheCost

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Ericalambbrown
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Ooooffff. I spent an awful lot of time feeling angry at JimBob and Michelle Duggar while listening to this, though it is obvious that is not the author‘s intention. So much of her upbringing - even the happy bits - bears the hallmarks of emotional abuse and coercion. JimBob uses all the classic techniques to maintain complete control. I‘m not surprised the author has been trashed by RW bloggers like The Transformed Wife. Glad she‘s escaped!

MonicaLoves2Read I want to read this book. I'm glad she escaped from all of that. 14mo
Ericalambbrown @Monica5 she reads the audiobook and I feel like it adds a little to the narrative. 14mo
MonicaLoves2Read @Ericalambbrown I will look for the audiobook on Libby. Thanks 14mo
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IamIamIam
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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I wasn't sure what to expect with this book but Jill presents an extremely respectful and honest exposé of her family life, struggles with honesty from her father, situations that arose due to reports being leaked about her sexual abuse and the challenges they faced when they stood their ground. She does not mention her siblings by name when she recounts discussions and shows an incredible amount of growth. I respect that..⬇️⬇️⬇️

IamIamIam She and her husband could still find validity in their faith as they pulled away from the super conservative Gothard teachings. I'm not a religious person but I definitely respect that Jill and Derick have made it their own. Clearly, this book wouldn't appeal to all audiences but I've watched this family since Discovery Health. Kudos to Jill for presenting a concise account of her life without dragging anyone through mud unnecessarily. 14mo
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Kris10H
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Pickpick

Book #78
4/5
You should read this book if:
- You have watched any of the Duggar specials or series
- You are currently, or have ever, deconstructed all or part of your faith
- You are interested in people. Period.
As always with memoirs, I recommend the audio book, as it is read by the author. (I borrowed this one online from the library).

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ErinAyin
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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My review of this book is up on my blog. Come check it out https://wwwjustagirlkindleing.blogspot.com/ I found this book to be very eye opening. I have watched this family on tv for years.

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JuliaTheBookNerd
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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A rainy Saturday is the perfect kind day to read in my library while sipping a cup of tea 🫖 ☕️

#BookNerd 🤓💙📚

Soubhiville So perfect! 1y
mom2bugnbee Those Wheel of Time books! 👀 👀 👀 1y
69 likes2 comments
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amsu311
Counting the Cost | Jill Duggar
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Mehso-so

Not sure if I like this book.