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What Made Maddy Run
What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen | Kate Fagan
From noted on-air commentator and sports journalist Kate Fagan, the heartbreaking and vital story of college athlete Maddy Holleran, whose death by suicide rocked the University of Pennsylvania campus and whose life reveals with haunting detail and uncommon understanding the struggle of young people suffering from mental illness today. If you scrolled through the Instagram feed of 19 year old Maddy Holleran, you would see a perfect life: a freshman at an Ivy League school, recruited for the track team, who was also beautiful, popular, and fiercely intelligent. This was a girl who succeeded at everything she tried, and who was only getting started. But when Maddy began her long-awaited college career, her parents noticed something changed. Previuosly indefatigable Maddy became withdrawn, and her thoughts centered on how she could change her life, including possibly transferring from the school that had once been her dream, and into which she had poured thousands of hours of practice and study. When Maddy's dad, Jim, dropped her off for the first day of spring semester, she held him a second longer than usual. That would be the last time Jim would see his daughter. WHAT MADE MADDY RUN began as a piece that Kate Fagan, a columnist for espnW, wrote about Maddy and her experience. What started as a profile of a successful young athlete whose life ended in suicide became so much larger when Fagan started to hear from other college athletes also grappling with mental illness. This is the story of Maddy Holleran and her struggle with depression, which also reveals the mounting pressure young people, and college athletes in particular, face to be perfect, especially in an age of relentless connectivity and social media saturation.
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BittersweetBooks
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If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are 🏃🏽‍♀️💬

AmyG This book was heartbreaking. 9mo
BittersweetBooks @AmyG yes! I finished it last night and could not sleep just thinking of Maddy and her family and friends. A tragic ending for such a bright light. 9mo
TiredLibrarian @BittersweetBooks @AmyG This one stuck with me for a long time; so tragic. 9mo
20 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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katiexjoy64
Mehso-so

This book teaches a lot about the struggles of mental health and caused a lot of self reflection, being a teenager in high school myself. It has definitely changed my perspective on the valued college dream. The only thing I didn‘t love was the author‘s constant pauses in the story to incorporate anecdotes of her own life, which although paralleled Maddy‘s story in some ways, overall took away from the tragedy.

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MaggieCarr
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Pickpick

This book wasn't what I had pegged it to be but boy did it make me pause and ponder so many things in my own life.

22 likes1 stack add
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TiredLibrarian
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#Two4Tuesday @TheSpineView

1. Tagged. Also like Friday Night Lights and Love, Zac.

2. Football (American) (Go Pats 🇺🇸) I also like the Olympics (winter more than summer), curling, & rugby.

TheSpineView Thanks for playing! 🥌🥌🥌 3y
25 likes1 comment
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Barrettck
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Pickpick

I loved this heartbreaking true story of a college athlete who died by suicide in 2014. Personally I loved that the chapters detailing Maddy‘s life were intertwined with fact/research based chapters on depression, suicide, etc. along with chapters detailing the author‘s personal connections to Maddy‘s dark feelings. 10/10 definitely recommend

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Barrettck
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Pickpick

1. Tagged! :)
2. I started listening to books on Audible in 2020. Never did that before but I learned I enjoy my commute much more when I‘m listening to a book vs music!
3. “The Hunting Party” because it‘s the January book for a book club I joined 🥰

BookmarkTavern I love audiobooks so much! Thank you for sharing! 3y
3 likes1 comment
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Macnjen
Pickpick

Good, well told accounting of a teen‘s struggle, and ultimate end to a short life of a college athlete. I cried several times but maybe because I have a daughter the same age away at college. Not sure the title is particularly accurate but that‘s minor. Probably every parent of a college kids should read this for awareness.

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Reviewsbylola
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I got to hear Kate Fagan speak tonight. She was wonderful and has a great sense of humor. 🥰

Hollie And great hair! ♥️ 5y
Reviewsbylola She is so gorgeous and has great style!!! @hollie 5y
Mdargusch So cool! 5y
82 likes3 comments
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Acoleman
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Pickpick

This is a must read for parents with teenagers, athletes or not. While not necessarily entertaining, it was incredibly eye-opening . The struggle to transition from high school to college was surprising to me. The pressure these kids put on themselves is unbelievable.
“ One study found that an average high school student today likely deals with as much anxiety as did a psychiatric pastiest in the 1950s”

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Edecmcl
Pickpick

Quick read but sad story. Read for PD

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KristenDuck
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Pickpick

A book all college students and parents should read.

Mandy was a typical nineteen-year-old, starting college, running track, posting pictures on Instagram. But this was all just the surface.

Behind those smiles, Mandy was breaking. Until one day, she tragically chose to end her life.

Very eye-opening, and Kate Fagan does an incredible job telling this story. My eyes continue to fill up just thinking about it.

82 likes2 stack adds
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Reviewsbylola
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This book broke me. I still think about it a good deal. I think what really gets to me is that Maddy had so much to live for, but wasn‘t able to reach out for help. We never know what inner demons others are battling.

#borntorun #marchintothe70s

AmyG She lived near me in NJ. What a tragedy. 5y
gradcat I didn‘t know about this book...thanks for posting. 5y
108 likes6 stack adds3 comments
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youneverarrived
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Pickpick

Heartbreaking read 😢 Maddy has just started at a prestigious university running track but something starts to feel not right with her. She tries to tell family and friends but she can‘t explain it. She tries to quit track but her coach encourages her to stick with it for at least another semester. Not many days after this meeting with her coach and her mother she has taken her own life.👇

youneverarrived Within Maddy‘s story are questions of mental health and how it‘s perceived, especially among athletes, and the impact social media is having on young people. It did at times seem to veer off course, and the author writes a bit of her own story into it, but I found it all interesting to read. Highly recommend. 5y
MicheleinPhilly I bought this many moons ago but always pass over it for something else that I hope will be “less depressing.” I‘m going to stop hiding from it in 2019. 5y
youneverarrived @MicheleinPhilly it‘s well worth the read. Let me know what you think if you read it. 5y
57 likes3 comments
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hwestfall
Pickpick

What a heartbreaking book. I am really glad that I finally picked it up. It's been on my "to read" list for a bit. As a parent raising a student athlete I found so much of this story applicable. The transition from high school to college, mental health issues, social media and our youth, there was so much food for thought.

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hwestfall
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This book keeps hitting home for me. I think I am just in the right stage of life, a parent to teens. I am doing a lot of reflecting on our parenting. Some areas we are doing really well but there are others I think we need to tweak.

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hwestfall
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I am raising a young athlete and this book is really making me think about how we parent him and his sports. This quote especially caught my attention.

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hwestfall
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I am having a hard time saying awake waiting for my son to get home from the high school football game! I am going to start a new book to see if it keeps me awake. This has been on my to read list for ages. I was excited when it went on sale a few days ago.

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Amiable
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Some helpful information posted in this book that I thought would be good to share.

24 likes2 stack adds
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Amiable
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Sunny Sunday read on the deck is a stark contrast to the darkness that Maddy Holleran carried around inside herself. As a parent of two young people who are only a bit older than Maddy was when she took her own life, my heart is breaking into a million pieces.

Cinfhen This is a kindle daily deal today!! 6y
Amiable @Cinfhen It was a Nook deal, too--that's why I got it! I'm not a Kindle person. 🙂 6y
28 likes1 stack add2 comments
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BookaholicNatty
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Yay yay yay!!! I have been wanting to read this book for some time now and I woke up this morning to awesome news, I won a copy of GoodReads!!!!! I never win anything on there so this is soooo exciting!!! And the fact that it‘s a book I actually know and want is even better! What a great start to a Tuesday!!! I wanna know what books have you ever won from Goodreads?

AmyG This is so heartbreaking. But a very good book. I just finished a John Connolly book...mystery/thriller...good, fun book. Congrats! 6y
DGRachel Congrats! 6y
Heatherfeather This looks like it could be a doozy.... 6y
zzz I won a signed arc from AL Jackson. Only Goodreads giveaway I've won 😁 6y
99 likes1 stack add5 comments
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Reviewsbylola
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This is just one of those books that makes you ask why? A young woman who seems to have everything, but is actually in such despair that she ends her own life. Everything #wasted. It‘s so hard to comprehend and the tragedy is all encompassing. My heart breaks for her family and friends. #getmovin

TrishB People hide their mental health battles, especially younger people. These barriers need to be broken down 😔 6y
Cinfhen It‘s still on my list since you reviewed it and well said @TrishB 💕 6y
Reviewsbylola I agree. It‘s so sad that Maddy felt that she couldn‘t read out to anyone. @TrishB 6y
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Reviewsbylola I agree. It‘s so sad that Maddy felt that she couldn‘t reach out to anyone. @TrishB 6y
emilyhaldi Awful story 😰 6y
Suetara This book broke my heart. 6y
104 likes3 stack adds6 comments
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TiredLibrarian
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My favorite read of 2018 so far. Maddy spiraled out of control even as her many loved ones tried to reach out and help. Can't forget it.
Most looking forward to: Louise Penny's next book, Kingdom of the Blind. Love her; love the residents of Three Pines.
#GLGGiveaway @GripLitGrl

GripLitGrl Great choices 👍Thanks for entering 😆 6y
17 likes1 comment
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Samantha.1020
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Currently reading....

RadicalReader @Samantha.1020 How are you liking it? 6y
Samantha.1020 @RadicalReader I‘m not too far in but good so far! I have a feeling it is going to be heartbreaking...I will keep you posted 😁 6y
36 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Meredith3
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Pickpick

Such a devastatingly sad book. I feel it is an important story, and needed to be told. We never truly know what others are going through in their lives, even the people who we feel we know best and love the most. Thank you @Reviewsbylola for letting me borrow your library book!

Reviewsbylola Quick read huh? So devastating though. 6y
emilyhaldi Sounds terribly sad 😭 6y
Meredith3 Super quick, and super sad @Reviewsbylola @emilyhaldi 6y
Mdargusch It sounds heartbreaking. 6y
117 likes6 stack adds4 comments
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Reviewsbylola
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Pickpick

Talk about heavy. I was crying by page 50. Knowing that Maddy is going to take her own life made this difficult to get through, yet I read it in just a few hours. Couldn‘t put it down. Fagan did an excellent job of telling Maddy‘s story and showing how it‘s impossible to understand the struggle of others. Fagan did tend to over extrapolate on social media usage but it gave me a lot of food for thought.

Mdargusch Sounds heartbreaking 😢 6y
DeborahSmall So sad! 6y
sb3626 I completely agree!! But the author did such a wonderful job explaining it! 6y
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emilyhaldi This sounds tough. 6y
Reviewsbylola It was, but I think it‘s a very important story. @emilyhaldi 6y
L_auren Poor Maddy. I read it this weekend too. I was dumbfounded after the meeting with her mom and coach. She must have felt so alone 😢 6y
Reviewsbylola I know, hindsight is so sad with this one. It just goes to show that you never know how deep someone‘s struggles run. I got this from the library after I saw your post actually! @L_auren 6y
L_auren @Reviewsbylola oh good!! I‘m glad you liked it. 6y
Cinfhen So sad😔This sounds like an incredible read...would work for #booked2018 #olympicsport 6y
Reviewsbylola Good point! I also think it would work for a book about grief for #pop18. @Cinfhen 6y
Meredith3 I have to read this! 6y
134 likes9 stack adds11 comments
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katrrosee
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Incredibly important story, even if you‘re not interested in college athletics.

AmyG Heartbreaking story. 6y
76 likes6 stack adds1 comment
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smoorhouse
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Pickpick

The book opens your eyes to the way we raise children in the age of social media and the very private struggles of a young woman whose instagram feed reflects the opposite.

DebinHawaii Welcome to Litsy! 🎉📚👍😀Hope you enjoy it here! 6y
3 likes1 comment
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MicheleinPhilly
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Last day of vacation. 😩 Not the last day of 1-clicking. 😬

TrishB I just got Daughters too! 6y
LeafingThroughLife I one clicked a few today myself, and one clicking season is still young 😬 6y
MicheleinPhilly @LeafingThroughLife I‘m kind of nervous for tomorrow. 6y
64 likes3 comments
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Suetara
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This is one of my favorite reads of the year. It‘s sad, beautiful, and I can‘t stop thinking about it. Well worth the sale price today on kindle.

21 likes1 stack add
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MarticaMustRead
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???? #BookClubPick #LibrarianLife

"As a runner, you‘re highly in tune with your body, and you know its highs and lows; you know your normal aches and pains, and you know when you should probably see the athletic trainer. Learning the highs and lows of your mind is much harder....
When it came to Madison‘s troubles, they both felt they had one commodity in abundance: time." ?

Quiet at work= Readying my bookclub book, very insightful.

AmyG Good sad book. Maddie lived near me in NJ....few towns over. :( 6y
MarticaMustRead Wow @AmyG that's crazy.... and yes totally agree, very good read yet tragically sad as well. 😔 6y
22 likes2 comments
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Mbt1963
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Pickpick

Two more good ones!!

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balletbookworm
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Pickpick

A well-written, empathetically written, biography about Madison Holleran and reportage about the rising rate of suicide/depression in student athletes. Fagan expanded her original article "Split Image" into an investigation about perfection, depression, social media, athletics "mind set", college transition, and suicide. She includes interviews and work she has done with other students and a discussion about how to talk about suicide in the media.

balletbookworm This book is a rough read, I'm not gonna lie, but Fagan prioritized Madison's life and personality over the details of her death. I didn't cry until it hit me that Madison would have graduated from college in 2017, the year of this book's publication. 7y
32 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Suetara
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Pickpick

This book. 💔 It chronicles the struggles and untimely death of Madison Holleran: the challenges of adjusting from high school to college, the difficulty of being a college athlete, and depression. It also has some powerful things to say about the schism between the curated life we portray online versus real life. My heart is heavy and I'll be thinking about Maddy for a long time.

MicheleinPhilly Beautiful review. 7y
Suetara @MicheleinPhilly Thank you. (edited) 7y
19 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Librarylady
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Apparently I'm in the mood to read about running. Two new books to choose from. Deciding between the two is hard for me tonight.

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EKonrad
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Pickpick

This in-depth look at a teenage athlete's descent into depression and her eventual suicide is definitely eye-opening. Although I was impressed with the amount of research done, I was sort of taken out of the story by the author inserting her own experiences into the book. It seems like Maddy and her intense pain deserved a book solely on her story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Full review: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33296283?source=ebfg_sms

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Nonaroo
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Pickpick

This is a good book but so heartbreaking. Kate Fagan expands on an article she wrote about Penn athlete Maddy Holleran. Maddy's life was perfect if you saw her Instagram feed or looked at her accomplishments. Maddy was depressed and struggled in her transition to college. She was a star student and athlete in high school and put enormous pressure on herself when she got to Penn. Sadly, she committed suicide in 2014.👇🏻

Nonaroo I think the book encourages a person to look past the filtered images or past the "I'm fine" a loved one might tell us to get to the root of a person's struggles. Maddy thought about quitting track or transferring from Penn but didn't want to disappoint anyone. It was hard for her to say just what was wrong. I felt for her and my heart breaks for her loved ones. (edited) 7y
Mimi28 Aaaaaawwww... so sad 😭 7y
Nonaroo @Mimi28 It really is a sad story but I hope that Maddy's story opens up a conversation about mental health and getting better access to care for college students. And it's also a good way to stop ourselves to see what is really wrong with someone when they ask for help rather than shutting a person down with "But you have it all!" No one in Maddy's life did that but I know some people do that, "What do you have to be sad about!?" 7y
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Mimi28 I agree. I have mental health issues and have been called " spoiled" a lot. I am not stuck up, it's my social anxiety. I am terrified of everything. I had an eating disorder and left my first college after one semester. I should have taken time off but went right back to school. I didn't get help until I had a breakdown and had to be hospitalized. I hope this story opens up conversation about mental health and that no one is perfect. It sucks. 7y
Nonaroo @Mimi28 I have dealt with depression for most of my life. Some of the people closest to me have asked what I have to be depressed over. It hurts and it's so hard to explain that some days you feel that you are trapped at the bottom of a well with no way of getting up. I'm sorry you had to experience that in school and you're better each day. I hope the book shows that it's OK to take time off if needed and get help. 7y
Mimi28 It is really hard to explain. Sometimes you yourself don't even know why you are so depressed. Then that makes you isolate even more because it's like no one understands. Thanks, I am getting better ❤️❤️❤️I just don't like the summer in general for various reasons. I hope you are getting better also ❤️❤️❤️Thanks ❤️❤️❤️ 7y
20 likes2 stack adds6 comments
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MidnightBookGirl
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#CurrentlyReading this book based on Madison Holleran, too soon gone from this world. It's so easy, especially in today's society of carefully curated Instagram and Tumblr posts to look like you have everything together when you're drowning inside. #arc

LiteraryinLawrence Sounds really powerful. 7y
MidnightBookGirl @LiteraryinLititz It is! It also takes a look mental health issues among student athletes and the lack of support in place, although there are schools out there beginning to take it seriously. 7y
40 likes4 stack adds2 comments