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All Joy and No Fun
All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood | Jennifer Senior
Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents? In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sourcesin history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropologyshe dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexationsand luxuriate in some of its finest rewards. Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of todayand tomorrow.
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review
Powered_By_Plants
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Bailedbailed

This caught my eye in the library a few weeks ago

I‘m not doubting this would be a good read BUT when your a busy working mummy with very little you time on your hands I like to read to escape 😂 and this didn‘t feel like escaping.

I may return to this another time but after a few chapters I just had no desire to pick it back up . Bail for now and returning to the library

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julesG
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Couldn't not post this.

Happy Mother's Day.

LeahBergen 😆😆 5y
Caroline2 😂 👏 5y
Texreader Amen! 5y
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Dragon 😂💚 5y
85 likes6 comments
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AnneFindsJoy
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#nonfiction2019 #femaleauthor Celebrating my first Bingo in column I 🥳 This was an interesting exploration of shifts in parenting, and impacts on happiness. Yup, parenting is hard, damn hard! I laughed when the author wrote how children are now “economically useless, but emotionally priceless” to the family! LOL .... True d‘at!

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Whoo Hoo! Good for you!! 5y
AnneFindsJoy @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Thanks! Loving this challenge, and you know I‘m going to keep going until I fill the board 🤩📚🙌 ❤️nonfiction ❤️ 5y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @AnneFindsJoy Yea! And good, because the year‘s still young!😉 5y
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jb72 Way to go! I‘m working on my first nonfiction book this year. (edited) 5y
AnneFindsJoy @jb72 ooh that looks good, I 💜 Reece 5y
jb72 @AnneFindsJoy I‘ve always thought she was a good actress. This book is pretty good so far. 5y
readinginthedark 🤣 What?! Parenting is hard? (Says the woman who literally did not go to bed last night because of a baby.) 5y
33 likes1 stack add7 comments
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underthebelljar
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And here are the book recs for the Inspiration Seeker. I've actually never read any of these...

underthebelljar @Jess7 I added it to my list. I'm interested in Just Mercy and Daring Greatly too. 7y
Caroline2 I got Inspiration seeker too, I haven't read any of em but I've added em all to my TBR list! 👍🏻 7y
underthebelljar @Caroline2 Yes! So many more awesome books to read. I have heard great things about Just Mercy and Daring Greatly. 7y
Caroline2 @BookishJess yeah they sound really good don't they!! I'm ordering them as soon as I'm off my book buying ban!! 👍🏻 7y
37 likes5 comments
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DocBrown
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Pickpick

I'm no @Chelsea.Poole who read this book during the first week of her child's life, but I did hit a major milestone this weekend with the college graduation of my firstborn. Go Blue! This book looks at the effects of children on their parents; turns out they may affect us more than we them! Biggest takeaway: we no longer have any concrete goals or guidelines for raising kids. Hoping for vague happiness/success only stresses them -- and us -- out.

Chelsea.Poole lol...it was the audiobook that helped me do it! 😊 glad you liked it! 7y
Suet624 Really liked this book. Congrats on the graduation! 7y
Smrloomis Wow, congratulations! Loved this book too. 7y
8 likes3 comments
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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

Curled up, reading with my favorite little one week old 😍
I just finished this parenting book which spans through adolescence and I can't help but imagine this little guy in all the stages of his life.
I found this book to be more emotional than similar titles which I appreciate. In fact, the end almost had me in tears. What I learned from this one...being there is all that really matters to your children, and joy is in the everyday thick of it!

DenaM.Battistone Beautiful little one ! Great book too :) 7y
emilyhaldi So sweet 😍 congratulations! 7y
Ashley_Nicoletto Congratulations! Such a perfect tiny human. 7y
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Cinfhen Awww, so sweet ~ congrats 💙 7y
CAGirlReading Congratulations! 😀 7y
Mccall0113 I can smell his precious head from here 💚 7y
julesG Congratulations! 😍 7y
TrishB Aww...congrats 💗 7y
andrew61 Congratulations, he's beautiful. 7y
BookInMyHands So beautiful! Congratulations! What you took from the book is the best parenting advice I've heard from a parenting book. Good words. 7y
KarenUK Awwww! So precious 😍 7y
mjdowens So adorable❤️👶❤️ 7y
Jas16 Congratulations! 💜 7y
mklong Congratulations!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ 7y
LeahBergen 💗💗💗 7y
Bookladylinda Congratulations!!!! 💙💙💙💙 7y
mrp27 Congratulations!! 🎉❤️ 7y
DebinHawaii So sweet! Congratulations!! 💙👶🏻🎉 7y
LauraBeth What a beautiful baby - congratulations! Agree with this advice from your book 💕💕 7y
DocBrown Still haven't finished this one -- had to renew it from the library! 7y
DocBrown And congrats! You've been busy and you still managed to finish it! 7y
minkyb Oh my goodness. What a precious bundle! Enjoy. 7y
L_auren Congrats 😍 7y
drbethandherkindle Congrats!!💙💙 7y
Chelsea.Poole Thank you all so much!! ❤️💛💚💙💜💗 7y
Smrloomis So precious! 💜💕💛 7y
ValerieAndBooks 😍 so sweet!! 7y
129 likes27 comments
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Chelsea.Poole
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Currently listening on #hoopla
More parenting nonfiction...this one is about the way parents "these days" sacrifice their own lives in favor of raising children. But do we really need to? All these activities, games, and other involvement may not be worth the time strain put on families. The #audiobook is read by the author which I find enjoyable so far.

Spiderfelt That sounds compelling. As a mother of teens, I look back at the early years and wonder exactly that questions. Are my kids better equipped to handle their world because of the investment I made in them? Or has it left them ill equipped in other ways? 7y
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Suet624
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Pickpick

I wish this book had been around when I was raising my children. Through research and Individual case studies the author highlights the challenges of each age group. It's written in a manner that felt quite conversational and comforting. She wraps it up by outlining the joys and benefits of living with children. It's all in the long view, folks, and in those cherished moments that expand and melt your heart.

geodynamical_nonfiction How sweet 😘 7y
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Suet624
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My dad was part of Vaillant's research group from college until his death, over 50 years. I love Vaillant's quote about the Grant Study men. It definitely rings true. The study has been extended to the children of these men and it's been fascinating to be part of such a long-running study.

minkyb Very cool! 7y
Suet624 @minkyb I hope I get to see what they make of the kids of the men who participated! 7y
43 likes2 comments
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Suet624
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This is so true. When it's all said and done, what I'm most proud of is the kindness, compassion, and efforts toward social justice that my children exhibit. It's really all I ever hoped for.

Redwritinghood Wise people have told me that it doesn't matter as much how your children behave at home. It's how they behave outside of it that's important. I used to be surprised when people told me how kind and polite my children are, then I realized they have been paying attention to me. (edited) 7y
Suet624 @Redwritinghood Exactly. And how wonderful that you could recognize that. 😁 7y
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ramyasbookshelf
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Read about this over the weekend on Litsy thanks to @saresmoore and @Suet624 ! Thanks to the extensive digital collection in my local library, I was able to get hold of a copy right away! Excited:)

Suet624 That's how I got mine too. Downloaded it from the library. I love that that option is available. I hope you find it as interesting as I am. 7y
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Suet624
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From a consultant to Madison Avenue in the 1950's.... domestic scientists. Grrr...

Bookish.Heart 😳😒 7y
minkyb Holy moley! 7y
readinginthedark They're right, though. 😕 7y
50 likes4 comments
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saresmoore

A quote within the book, from Adam Phillips' essay collection, Going Sane: "One of the most difficult things about being a parent is that you have to bear the fact that you have to frustrate your child."

saresmoore I think I'll be reading this, too! 7y
Sace I've just added it to my TBR as well. 7y
saresmoore @Sace This book is great and I'm adding pretty much everything she quotes to my TBR. Fortification for the parental journey! Seriously, a thoroughly researched sociologically-minded encouraging parenting book is like a pack of protein bars laced with pot on the neverending hike of parenthood. 🙃 (edited) 7y
LauraBeth @saresmoore they need to use your last sentence to blurb the book! 😀👏👏 7y
saresmoore @LauraBeth Bahahaha! All the sleep-deprived parents be like, "I could go for some pot-laced protein right now! Is there chocolate, too??" 7y
49 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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saresmoore
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"That women bring home the bacon, fry it up, serve it for breakfast, and use its greasy remains to make candles for their children's science projects is hardly news. Yet how parenting responsibilities got sorted out under these conditions remains unresolved..."

@Suet624 That first sentence! There's a good argument for vegetarianism if I ever heard one! ?

Suet624 Hahaha. Honestly, each page has something that I highlight and send to my daughters. 7y
ramyasbookshelf You've convinced me to get this! 7y
saresmoore @ramyasbookshelf I'm only on chapter two, but I already feel a massive sense of relief. Feeling understood as a parent, no matter at what stage, is powerful! 7y
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Suet624 I felt that same relief and I'm well past the age of being "responsible" for my kids. So I can imagine how you must feel reading this. 7y
saresmoore @Suet624 I've been looking for so long for a logical reason not to feel guilty. Her presentation is giving me permission to forgive myself for not gaining a sense of purpose or fulfillment in child rearing! It's also allowing me to look at life things from a broader vantage point, rather than through my everyday microscope. It's been so long since I've experienced "flow"! I'm really glad we are both reading this! 7y
Suet624 @saresmoore yeah, that fulfillment idea. There were definitely moments that were fulfilling but overall i found raising children to be an enormous challenge that was often less than fulfilling. My children are all wonderful adults and maybe that's where I could find fulfillment but that's such a delayed gratification that it's easy to feel despondent within the present day experience. 7y
Ericmanciniwriter Yes! One of my 'I read one book a year' friend's JUST recommended this book to me. It's on the stack 7y
Suet624 Here's a line that really rang true for me: mothers are the family's designated empath. I sure was. 7y
ramyasbookshelf @Suet624 @saresmoore I just started this one too! My library had an ebook I could borrow! 7y
saresmoore @Suet624 And it's a brutal role. One I played as a daughter, too. Some days, I think it's the empathy we really need a break from! 7y
Suet624 @saresmoore yes, agreed. 7y
54 likes13 comments
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Suet624
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I'm only on the introduction and I'm already starting to giggle. My children are grown but this is spot on. I am so relieved my children are grown. The pressure, the worry, and the failed marriages were getting to me. 😂😂

CocoReads 😂😂😂 thank god I never had super high standards in housekeeping. 7y
Suet624 @CocoReads Yes, that was the one thing that never bothered me a bit. In fact, sticky kitchen floors were the norm. 7y
saresmoore I have this book on my Kindle. I'm thinking I should probably get started on it! 7y
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Suet624 @saresmoore I was going to ask you if you'd read it yet. Wanted your opinion. I'm devouring it. 7y
saresmoore @Suet624 Wonderful! I'll start it today! 7y
Suet624 @saresmoore of course I think a researcher should hang out with you and your family to determine how you all manage to be so delightful. 7y
ramyasbookshelf I want to read this right away! With two young kids, I'm still listing all the issues your quoted 😂😂😂 7y
Suet624 @ramyasbookshelf this book is for you then. It lets you know what you're up against and gives you a pat on the back for doing your best. 7y
saresmoore @Suet624 I don't think the yelling match that *just* happened could be described as delightful. (I did most of the yelling...) 😒 This book is great—I'm loving the synthesized research! And if anything goes to my credit in parenting, it's how quickly I got married and had babies; I had no idea what freedoms I'd given up. Thank you for reminding me of this book! @ramyasbookshelf Just lock yourself in the bathroom and read it! 😜 7y
Suet624 @saresmoore I did the same thing. Started out quite young. And with one child I could cart her around quite easily and do a lot of what I wanted to do anyway, including travel. Add a second one and all bets are off. This book gives you a pass and an understanding on how you lose your cool and start yelling. It happens to the best of us. 7y
saresmoore @Suet624 I'm reading about the underdeveloped prefrontal cortex conundrum right now. While I've long studied the brain and understood this about children, it gives me new appreciation for the work I've done in raising my husband concurrently with my kids. Every intentional (often drastic) lifestyle adjustment I've implemented for our family has been in support of my HUSBAND's low-functioning PFC (adult ADD). 😩😭🤣 7y
Suet624 @saresmoore that's amazing. 7y
Suet624 "But we can never choose or change our children. They are the last binding obligation in a culture that asks for almost no other permanent commitments at all." Yup. @saresmoore 7y
40 likes1 stack add13 comments
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DocBrown
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This book's title captures it perfectly.

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Christine
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Pickpick

Interesting, thoughtfully organized, and well-written. Because she touches on so many topics, the author isn‘t able to go into much depth on any of them, but she outlines the topics and references her sources well enough that it would be easy for the reader to seek out more information. I especially liked that she included (a relatively diverse group of) parents‘ lived experiences in their own words.

rachelm I adored this book 7y
awonderinglife I've got this on my kindle - you've reminded me to go back to it! 7y
34 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Smrloomis
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azulaco
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#riotgrams day 5: #bookishgoods. My aunt got me this lovely bracelet that says "Keep calm and read on." Perfect?❤️

BeckyD I need one of those. 7y
16 likes1 comment
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rachelm
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Pickpick

#Recommendsday! Anyone who has kids needs to read this book. It's not a "how to"; it's a "why is this so hard" book. Psychology and real stories and absolutely true revelations on what parenting is in modern society.

ValerieAndBooks Anything in there about teenagers/young adults? That's the parenting stage I'm at now. 8y
rachelm @ValerieAndBooks yes! It's age by age- infants to adult kids. How it effects the parents, their relationship with eachother and with their kids. 8y
31 likes6 stack adds2 comments