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The Wrong Way to Save Your Life
The Wrong Way to Save Your Life: Essays | Megan Stielstra
From an important new American writer comes this powerful collection of personal essays on fear, creativity, art, faith, academia, the Internet, and justice. In this poignant and inciting collection of literary essays, Megan Stielstra tells stories to ward off fears both personal and universal as she grapples toward a better way to live. In her titular piece The Wrong Way To Save Your Life, she answers the question of what has value in our livesa question no longer rhetorical when the apartment above her familys goes up in flames. Here is My Heart sheds light on Megans close relationship with her father, whose continued insistence on climbing mountains despite a series of heart attacks leads the author to dissect deer hearts in a poetic attempt to interrogate her own feelings about mortality. Whether she's imagining the implications of open-carry laws on college campuses, recounting the story of going underwater on the mortgage of her first home, or revealing the unexpected pains and joys of marriage and motherhood, Stielstra's work informs, impels, enlightens, and embraces us all. The result is something beautifulthis story, her courage, and, potentially, our own. Intellectually fierce and viscerally intimate, Megan Stielstra's voice is witty, wise, warm, and above all, achingly human. Stielstra is a masterful essayist.Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist and Hunger
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TJAhearne
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I‘m reading this and almost everything is resonating with me. “That‘s part of being a good teacher, I think: inspiring people to work their asses off not for you or the class or the grade, but to be better” (193). I want this, but so many high school and middle school students just aren‘t there. The love for learning in a poverty school is just not there. It‘s a means to an end and what that end is will be different for everyone.

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TJAhearne
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“When do you fight and when do you cope?” Pg 167

Isn‘t this the question of the century?

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TJAhearne
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“You can‘t lose a fight about your own happiness. You can‘t lose a fight about your own life.” Pg 152

LET THAT SINK IN.

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TJAhearne
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110% all me. As a teacher, the absolute truth. Always ON.

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TJAhearne
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We need real conversations about our bodies and our rights, in our culture and our literature and those terrifying girls only rooms with the school nurse watching videos.

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TJAhearne
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I wonder if my children feel the same? I wonder if ALL children feel this way?

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Hooked_on_books
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Pickpick

I‘m a big fan of books of personal essays, and this one is superb. From postpartum depression to semi-chronological snippets of her life growing up until now to examining her white privilege, Stielstra covers a gamut of life with pieces that are so well constructed. I fully expected to dip in and out of this while reading other things but I could not put it down and read it straight through.

TrishB I remember really liking this one too. Except there‘s a chapter on hunting, can‘t read it, don‘t get it. 3y
TJAhearne Loving this book, and I usually don‘t read this kind! 2y
41 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Angitron
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Panpan

I couldn‘t emotionally connect with this one, and I found some stylistic things a bit grating. There‘s definitely an audience out there for this one, I‘m just not one of them. Not a terrible book, just one that‘s not for me.

IamIamIam At least you gave it a fair shake. Not every book can be phenomenal! #NEXT! 5y
Angitron @IamIamIam Yes! I‘m glad I checked it out and supported a local author at least! 😊 5y
15 likes2 comments
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TaciturnWhenReading
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50+ pages in. Not sure how I feel about this one yet. 🤔

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Christine
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Pickpick

I LOVED this. Whether about her personal life, her work, or issues like privilege or gun control (a LOT about gun control, which of course felt gut-punchingly relevant today 😢🧡), Stielstra‘s writing is direct, funny, and wise. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Christine11 This sounds so fascinating! Stacked 😊 6y
Christine @Christine11 It was so great!! Hope you love it too. 6y
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Hamishhhh
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Just started this.. off to a good start!

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nomadreader
Pickpick

If I could make this essay collection required reading, I would. I will read it again and again and again.

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nomadreader
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Next to pool views and beach views, this book has my full attention. It's stunning.

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BookishMarginalia
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Pickpick

This is an excellent collection of autobiographical essays covering everything from marriage and motherhood to teaching and writing. Really resonated with me. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

Lea Which app is that? 6y
MarriedtoMrT @Lea Libby by Overdrive. For library e-loans. 6y
BookishMarginalia @lea It‘s Libby. 6y
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Lea @MarriedtoMrT @BookishMarginalia thanks. I use the Overdrive app and haven‘t tried Libby yet. 6y
MarriedtoMrT @Lea It‘s much more user-friendly. You can do everything in-app instead of going to the website to select titles. I have heard from some people that not all libraries have access yet but you could try! 6y
Lea @MarriedtoMrT thanks. I‘ll check it out. 6y
142 likes3 stack adds6 comments
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razmanda
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Pickpick

I can‘t say enough good things about this book. It made me laugh and cry and read while walking and standing in line for a desperately needed chai tea latte. It made me remember the pain of being a new mom and the hope of keeping my dreams of writing alive. And above all else, it reminded me that my voice matters.

Also counts as my book of essays for #readharder2018.

monalyisha Great review! Adding! (edited) 6y
LiteraryinLawrence Thanks for that review! 6y
TrishB A good read 👍🏻 6y
33 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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razmanda
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Religious school is back in session which means solo breakfast and binge reading commences as well! Huzzah!

Lacythebookworm How are you liking the essays? I‘m interested in this one. 6y
razmanda @Lacythebookworm just finished and reviewed - complete and total love. Unabashed. 6y
27 likes2 comments
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razmanda
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Yep. All of this. For those of us in the white majority, it‘s our responsibility to teach our children to protect those who are not, and to hold our communities responsible for the damage we cause.

Reggie There‘s this This American Life episode about parents having important conversations with kids talks. Of course one segment was the birds and the bees but then another was Kamau Bell saying how he was 8 when his mother talked to him about being black and what that comes with in this world. Depressing, but so smart to try and protect your kids that way. 6y
18 likes1 comment
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razmanda
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My husband and I are both on staff in higher education. The moment guns are allowed on our campuses is the moment we resign.

Tamra My husband and I are faculty and we oppose c&c. In one of my courses I poll my students once a semester and the majority are typically opposed as well. 6y
bookwrm526 Agreed! 6y
rachelm Yep. 6y
mrozzz 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 6y
21 likes4 comments
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razmanda
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I‘m about 70 pages in and this book is breaking my heart in the best way.

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Jas16
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Pickpick

I feel as if I have read more essay collections in 2017 than any other year. This one ranks with the best of them. There was some crying in public when I read this at lunch and snorting with laughter while sneak reading at my desk. These essays made me think, made me feel, and made me want to change for the better.

GlassAsDiamonds Powerful & compelling review! 😊😊😊😊 6y
TrishB I enjoyed this collection too 👍🏻 6y
62 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Jas16
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Only on the epigraph and I feel like I am going to love this essay collection.

lauralovesbooks1 I thought this was an excellent collection. 6y
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lauralovesbooks1
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Pickpick

Excellent essay collection. Stielstra does this incredible thing where each essay is different -- different periods in her life, different topics, different writing styles and structures, yet there is a thread through out them all that gives you insight into her character, her beliefs, and the lessons she has learned from life. I really appreciated this collection.

mrozzz Yesssss I enjoy seeing Litsy love for this book. I was so enthralled by this collection 6y
25 likes1 stack add1 comment
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lauralovesbooks1
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"At some point, Our education no longer belongs to our teachers. It belongs to us."

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Shtechbrary
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angrylilasian
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I‘ll go to bed early I said.
Just one more chapter I said.
These essays are short.
Just one more.
Two hours later...

Gut punches like this are keeping me awake and reading.

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angrylilasian
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Waiting at the terminal for my flight home. I don‘t enjoy flying so I‘m hoping a little apple pie and this book will ease my anxiety.

slategreyskies ((((Hugs)))) I‘ve got anxiety too. It really comes at the most inconvenient times! 💕 6y
Grrlbrarian Best wishes! I hate to fly as well. Hope your pie + nook help you to bear it better! 6y
Susannah I have air travel anxiety too. I hope it was a smooth ride home! 🛫🤞 6y
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angrylilasian @slategreyskies @Grrlbrarian @Susannah thanks! I made it home! It was a little bumpy but my audiobook helped keep my mind off it. 😄 6y
slategreyskies Glad you made it home okay!! 😊 6y
Grrlbrarian Glad you‘re home safely! 6y
54 likes6 comments
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Allietaylor16
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I took myself on a reading date! Perfect pairing.

Redwritinghood 👍🏻👍🏻 I did that this afternoon too. Lunch, coffee, gym and nail salon and I was reading at all of them! 6y
mrozzz I bet it was! You liking this read? 6y
Allietaylor16 @mrozzz I'm really enjoying it! 6y
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Allietaylor16
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Iced coffee and a new book!! I've heard so many good things about this one!

mrozzz Yes! Hope you have a ball with it ☺️ 6y
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cpreja
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Pickpick

I ❤ this essay collection.

I found Megan Stielstra's humorous and touching perspective on education, motherhood, gun control and the importance of the creative force within each one of us to be inspiring in a way I have not experienced for some time.

Lola I'm pretty sure I picked this up at ALA in June-gotta look. Love the cover. 7y
41 likes1 comment
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cpreja
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Loving this one so far.

Happy to be working from home tomorrow. Hopefully I can squeeze some extra reading minutes in....

Mommamanzi Those are beyond beautiful flowers! 7y
LauraBrook Of course you can squeeze extra minutes in - who's going to stop you? 😉 7y
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mrozzz
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Here are my August stats... 📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚
This month my diversity quotient took a dive (only 1 author was POC and 1 non-American) but I have some good ones queued up for September.

My favorite was a book of essays (tagged) and my most despised was Bed-Stuy is Burning.

PS I'm super impressed by the numbers all you Littens have generated. Well done!! 💪🏻🤓🤗 #monthlystats

Yeah_I_Read @mrozzz you despised Bed-Stuy is burning?? I just bought that 😱 talk to me girl 7y
mrozzz @Yeah_I_Read it seemed like it was trying too hard! A white guy from Brooklyn writing about a privileged white couple moving in to bed-stuy and then the lifelong residents are rioting and for good reason and they ARE interesting but then they receive little focus and seriously I could not STAND that couple. 😑 7y
mrozzz @Yeah_I_Read I really wanted to like it too. But ultimately I think the author didn't have enough experience for the subject matter 7y
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Yeah_I_Read @mrozzz that sounds legit. I'm definitely still going to read it but probably not any time soon 😬 I read the first few chapters and I can't say that I really felt strongly either way. It interested me bc of the issue of gentrification and I haven't read anything fiction regarding the topic 7y
mrozzz @Yeah_I_Read of course! It's totally interesting and that's why I picked it up too. Oh well. Give it a shot sometime and let me know your thoughts! Maybe it's just me 🤷🏼‍♀️ 7y
Yeah_I_Read @mrozz I will definitely lyk 😊 maybe I'll read it after The Nix 7y
mrozzz @Yeah_I_Read 👌🏻 7y
62 likes7 comments
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MagdaRosol
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Roxane Gay loved it and she is not wrong. Beautiful!

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TrishB
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Pickpick

Thanks to @mrozzz for the continual positive reviews about this book - absolutely tempted me!
Amazing collection of reflections on life, politics, injustice, writing, relationships, sick kids and the best description of labour pains ever.
Made me laugh and cry several times! Made me want to be better.
Can always do without the hunting though. Just don't get hunting for animals as fun, never will.

mrozzz Soooo good to hear you enjoyed it 😊👍🏻 7y
Bambolina_81 ...and a British Library bookmark. One of my favourite places 😊 7y
TrishB @Bambolina_81 mine too 😀 If I have work meetings near there I always plan the home train later so I can have a wonder round and raid the shop of course! 7y
Bambolina_81 @TrishB I'm there on Friday but will have to drag the husband round with me 🙄 7y
TrishB @Bambolina_81 last time I went there was a punk exhibition on which hubby was more than happy to look it. I'm usually on my own if it's work stuff though. 7y
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TrishB
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I'm always grateful for the door believe me!!

DGRachel I love my door. I just wish the walls in my office actually went all the way up to the ceiling. 😱 7y
BookFreakOut Doors are the BEST. Very grateful I can shut myself in during lunch and have quiet. 7y
WhatDeeReads Oh how I long for a door or even a wall. 7y
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TrishB @DGRachel I'm having a hard time getting that picture in my head!? 7y
TrishB @BookFreakOut I try and fit a quick read in every lunchtime! Helps keep me going! 7y
TrishB @WhatDeeReads open plan? 7y
DGRachel @TrishB I work in an old building that used to be an auto parts plant or something, so the HVAC pipes are all exposed. It's like being in a cubicle with really high walls and a door. I'm home with a migraine again today, but if I think of it when I'm back at work tomorrow, I'll take a picture. 7y
TrishB @DGRachel 👍ah I see it more now! 7y
arlenefinnigan I wish I had my own office. I have earphones......and a migraine. 7y
TrishB @arlenefinnigan 😔 rest of my team! Open plan is the pits of office life. 7y
98 likes10 comments
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TrishB
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Quick lunchtime read 😀 So happy when the bookmark matches!
Only have 3 days in work this so Monday doesn't seem too bad. Daughter's exam results Thursday though 😱

Cinfhen I'm sure she did great but the waiting 😬😬😬 7y
TrishB @Cinfhen dreading it 😩 if hard work pays off we will be fine because she did put the work in! Fingers crossed. 7y
Cinfhen That's the worse...some kids are just not great test takers but doesn't mean they aren't great students. Sending good luck vibes 💚☘️💚☘️ 7y
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TrishB @Cinfhen thank you 💟 7y
quirkyreader Fingers crossed for the exam results. If she had to take maths I hope she killed it. 7y
Ms_T Sending good luck and best wishes to Miss Barker 🤞🏻 7y
TrishB @quirkyreader her worst subject I'm afraid. But she's had a private tutor for the last six months so I'm hoping that has helped! 7y
TrishB @Ms_T thank you 💝 7y
LeahBergen So pretty! 7y
78 likes1 stack add9 comments
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mrozzz
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Great advice not just for reading or for being in school but great HUMAN advice. When you're mad or confused maybe it's you haven't given the concept or the culture or the person enough thought, maybe you haven't tried to imagine your life turned on its head. Just repeating this to myself and anyone who tries to diminish someone else's existence because it is different:

"You don't get to hate something just because you don't understand it." ?

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mrozzz
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Pickpick

WOW. She has perfect mantras, she slides in politics to almost every anecdote, she brings the future back to her past and ties it up with a perfectly asymmetrical bow and then lights it on fire screaming "F*CK" at the top of her lungs.

She shocked me and made me laugh so hard I cried and I'll remember her writing advice forever. Her vignettes are poignant and full even when they're one sentence.
As Roxanne Gay said: she's a masterful essayist.

TrishB 👍 your reviews have been great! 7y
PerksOfBeingABookworm Your reviews of this book are awesome. I'm excited to find a copy and start reading! 7y
mrozzz @TrishB @PerksOfBeingABookworm 😊 I'm floored by how many other people are excited to read this book! I think it's definitely worth it (as you can see through my numerous posts 🙌🏻) (edited) 7y
66 likes7 stack adds3 comments
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TrishB
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#bookmail on a Sunday.
Totally brought because of @mrozzz reviews 😀

Balibee146 Ooooooooooooohhhhhh 7y
Caroline2 Ohhhh yeahhh! This sounds really good! Can't wait to hear what you think of it! 👍🏻 7y
mrozzz Yay!!!! 7y
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mrozzz
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Crying as much as I'm laughing..... some tears of frustration, some of anger for my inability to make change, some quiet reflective tears for all that I couldn't know.

"My son didn't understand why your son couldn't go outside with a toy gun.... I grabbed air for words to explain, knowing that my heartbreak is a puddle compared to the ocean you swim every day."

TrishB You've totally sold me on this one - just brought. Also there is an amazing review on amazon uk 😀👍 7y
mrozzz Yes!!! @TrishB I mean even Roxanne Gay endorsed her, on the cover: "Stielstra is a masterful essayist." ? 7y
TrishB I'm not usually one for essays or non fiction - but occasionally I go for one! 7y
mrozzz @TrishB she has several outlandish stories to share and she's very smart, easily ties in her life experiences to current events. It's not dry at all. Hope you enjoy! 7y
TrishB I'm looking forward to it! Should arrive tomorrow 👍 7y
54 likes3 stack adds5 comments
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mrozzz
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Guys, seriously:

I started this on audiobook and today I went ahead and bought the book-book too because I liked it too damn much. Stielstra is hilarious and radical and political and I'm in love. 😍

62 likes6 stack adds
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mrozzz
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....I want this essay to sit on the floor of the House of Representatives behind Congressman John Lewis, protesting congressional inaction on gun-control legislation... I want this essay to go online right now and look up the names of it's state representatives and see if they've taken money from the NRA and, if so, I want this essay to vote them the hell out of office. This essay is done feeling hopeless.

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mrozzz
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Been listening as I get ready the last couple mornings and glad I took a risk on an unknown book/author.

She narrates parts of it herself and I know the stories she tells are close to her because her delivery comes across as strong in the vein of spoken word. Beautiful!

readordierachel Looking forward to this one! Where did you find the audibook? I didn't see it on Audible. 7y
mrozzz @ReadOrDieRachel it was Audible!! 7y
readordierachel @mrozzz Oh! I must've mistyped or something. Thanks! 7y
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rachellayown
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Pickpick

Oh man, this book.

The five biggest stars for this brilliant essay collection that is so real, true, and important. It tackles so many issues: motherhood, education, prejudice and white privilege, gun control, happiness, fear, love, writing, the current political climate, etc. etc. Seriously, it's so sharp and raw and the writing is phenomenal. I will definitely be rereading this one several times. I highly recommend this book! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alfoster Wow! I don't normally read non-fiction but this sounds amazing! 7y
mrozzz I just started listening to the audiobook this morning!!!! I love it. 7y
rachellayown It really was @Alfoster ! I listened to the audio book, which is read by the author and was phenomenal. I can't wait to read the physical book. 7y
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8little_paws How's it compare to her first collection? Gonna be honest: a lot of her writing is about motherhood and relationships there, both of which I can't relate to. 7y
rachellayown I listened to the audiobook too @mrozzz and thought it was amazing. Enjoy! 7y
rachellayown I haven't read her first collection @8little_paws but yeah, there is a lot about motherhood and relationships but what I loved was the way she blends the personal and political. I'd say check out the first essay which is pretty indicative of the collection and see what you think. 7y
8little_paws @rachellayown I'll probably snag it from the library. I thought her writing was fine in the first collection.... I'm just not a mother and probably never will be. 7y
rachellayown The library seems like the way to go @8little_paws. I listened to the audiobook and she reads it and her performance was part of what I loved, but I also loved her prose and appreciated her honesty and intelligence. 7y
readordierachel Sold! Sounds amazing. 7y
rachellayown I hope you love it @ReadOrDieRachel! 7y
DivineDiana Stacked! 7y
68 likes14 stack adds11 comments