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Love That Boy
Love That Boy: What Two Presidents, Eight Road Trips, and My Son Taught Me About a Parent's Expectations | Ron Fournier
21 posts | 12 read | 13 to read
Tyler and I inch toward the Green Room, in line with blow-dried TV anchors and stuffy columnists. Hes practicing his handshake and hello: Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr. President. Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr. President. Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr. President. When the couple in front of us steps forward for their picture, my teenager with sky-blue eyes and a soft heart looks up at me and says, I hope I dont let you down, Dad. What kind of father raises a son to worry about embarrassing his dad? I want to tell Tyler not to worry, that hed never let me down. That theres nothing wrong with being different. That I actually am proud of what makes him special. But we are next in line to meet the president of the United States in a room filled with fellow strivers, and all I can think about is the real possibility that Tyler might embarrass himself. Or, God forbid, me. LOVE THAT BOY is a uniquely personal story about the causes and costs of outsized parental expectations. What we want for our childrenpopularity, normalcy, achievement, geniusand what they truly needgrit, empathy, characterare explored by National Journals Ron Fournier, who weaves his extraordinary journey to acceptance around the latest research on childhood development and stories of other loving-but-struggling parents.
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goodbyefrancie
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He's fascinated with my library. #BookWorm #RaisingReaders

Nute So cute! May he be forever fascinated with your library.🧡📚 6y
GingerAntics This is so cute!!! 6y
Leftcoastzen Cool ! 6y
Crazeedi Sweet! 6y
120 likes4 comments
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hes7
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65 likes1 stack add
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Apinlibraryland
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Mehso-so

It jumped around a lot and was trying to do too many things. I liked the memoir aspect of it more than the parenting manual aspect of it...most probably because I don't have children. I liked the look into Aspergers but was less interested in the author's feelings about having a child with Aspergers.

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Apinlibraryland
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I've been meaning to read this since I got it from Book of the Month. Listening to it via Overdrive.

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Suet624
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[It] made me think of something written by David Brooks, a New York Times columnist... He said, “an epidemic of conditional love” is shaping parenting early in the 21st century. “Many parents bestow or withdraw their affection depending on how well their children are achieving, producing millions of young people without secure emotional foundations, who pine for any kind of approval.” (Not sure it's 21st century. I experienced it 50+ years ago.)

ptkpepe98 I did, too, and, still do, as my mother lives with me. The difference is that now l will point it out to her, and she acknowledges that it is how she was raised, which makes it hard for her to change. She is trying, though, because she knows how she felt, and doesn't want to cause her children to feel that way towards her. It's hard to break the lessons we learn as children, though. 8y
Suet624 @ptkpepe98 that's lovely. engaging in this way you can both break familial patterns. 8y
48 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Apinlibraryland
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I have 13 days and 16 hours left to read 9 books to make my Goodreads goal 📚! Wish me luck--I'm going to focus on graphic novels, short books, and books I started this year but didn't finish.

BookishMarginalia Great stack! You're going to enjoy meeting your goal! 8y
4 likes2 comments
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Suet624
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This book! I kind of want to throw it across the room. I don't like many of the people he writes about who push their children and measure their own success by what their kids do. And it seems to take him so long to truly appreciate his own son. His son seems like someone I'd love to hang out with. I stare longingly at the ten library books that await. Only once in my life have I given up on a book. I must carry on....

Libby1 Give yourself permission to give up or even skim if you're having a tough time with it. Sometimes I'll skim and be grateful I didn't spend as much time on it. ☺️ 8y
Lindy What @Libby1 said. 8y
Suet624 @Libby1 and @lindy, thanks. I have this nagging suspicion with all books that I will miss out on something great if I abandon it. It's happened to me before that I've been thankful I finished the book. But I hear you. I may try the skim approach. 8y
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mcctrish I hear you!! I have a hard time bailing too ( sometimes I think it could be just my mood #rightbookwrongtime or not my genre so keep on with it, and I am often happy I finished) skimming sounds like win win 8y
Suet624 @mcctrish 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 8y
charl08 Only once? Wow. 8y
Suet624 @charl08 apparently it's a compulsion of mine. 8y
40 likes7 comments
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Suet624
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No pressure.

Theresa No, none at all! 😰😆 8y
Lauren_reading 😂 wow! 8y
Nebklvr Ouch 8y
MyNamesParadise Dang....but the world is quite different now than in 1794...it's never been my aspiration to be the best and the boldest. I just want to be happy 🤓 8y
52 likes4 comments
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Suet624
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I don't mean to be critical, but this journalist's son was 12 before the family realized he had Asperger's syndrome? And they discovered it by watching the TV show Parenthood? That alone makes me consider bailing on this book. I'll go a bit further and see what happens.

Reviewsbylola My daughter was actually diagnosed with autism last week. She is only four but the psychiatrist working with her said it is very common to get teenage girls in for evaluations that had no diagnosis. She said girls can be good at "hiding it", so maybe his son was similar. I am interested to see what you think of the book once you finish it! 8y
Suet624 @Reviewsbylola again, I really don't mean to be critical at all and I've never dealt with it myself, but it seemed there were signs along the way. And teachers who could have made some suggestions. I appreciate you sharing your experience and wish you well on this journey with your daughter. I'll let you know about the book when I'm done. :) 8y
Blueberry There are thousands of undiagnosed adults with autism There are different levels of autism and different characteristics. My son didn't talk until he was 3 1/2 and had many unusual behaviors. Today you wouldn't know he has autism. So it can sometimes be difficult to diagnose. But of course, many parents also choose to remain in denial. Sometimes I want to say to people...early intervention exists. Get your child some free help. 8y
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Suet624 @Blueberry thanks so much for adding your thoughts on this. 8y
DogMomIrene I'll be curious about your final thoughts on this one too. He's one of the authors listed for Tucson Festival of Books and he's on my "maybe go see" list. 8y
Suet624 @ocdIrene I'll definitely let you know. 8y
Suet624 @ocdIrene, so I said I would let you know what I thought about this book. I've read three books since then. Every time I think of this book I am annoyed with the author. He missed issues with both of his kids which I find to be troubling. I don't mean to judge. But it seems to me he was an absent parent who has written a book on parenting and expectations. 8y
DogMomIrene One of my non-Litsy friends had a similar reaction to this book, so I think I'm going to allow the schedule for the Festival determine if I have time to hear him speak. He may end up on a panel that I'm interested in. If I can fit him in, then I'll listen, but I don't think I'm going out of my way to hear his POV. Thank you for remembering me. 🙂🙃🙂 I've been traveling so I've been off the social medias for a week or so. 8y
41 likes1 stack add8 comments
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Cberbs
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I'm starting yet another book. I'm not sure what I want to read right now. Hopefully this is it.

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Cberbs
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Sometimes the hardest part of packing for and planning for a weekend away in a family of six people and a dog is to decide which books get to come with us.

Cberbs I have Alexander Chee's Queen of the Night, too. It's a 5 hour trip each way. This might be too many. 8y
3 likes1 comment
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LittlePaperHands
Pickpick

A beautiful story of a Dad learning to love his son just as he is and forgive himself for being disappointed that his son didn't end up being who he thought he'd be.

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Spiderfelt
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Pickpick

Meet your child where they are; talk less, be present more and appreciate their differences. Notice who they are and check your expectations at the door. The author clearly benefits from a background in journalism and long form essays. His honesty regarding his own shortcomings also let me me off the hook regarding my own. Don't wallow in guilt. It doesn't help anyone. With all this extra time with my son, these words came at the right moment.

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Spiderfelt
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How do you guys manage reading and eating? My breakfast requires knife and fork, which prevents me from holding my hardcover book open. Any tricks of the trade to share?

ValerieAndBooks I pretty much do what you do...weight it down with whatever is on hand 😄 8y
LeahBergen I have a book holder! I have photo of it on my page from a while ago 😃 8y
Emily92Bibliophile A book holder ! $9 on Amazon :) it's wonderful! 8y
13 likes4 comments
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Bookquilter
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July is over?? Enjoyed #24in48 this month... It helped me push along. Hopefully more time to read with the boys back at school this week, but Marching Band starts soon. So maybe not....

Melkyl You read more than you bought. What's up with that?! 😂 8y
Twocougs Good for you! I wish I had read more than I bought🙃 8y
Amandajoy Read more than I buy... New goal to shoot for. 8y
Sue Good for you!! Maybe read vs buy is something I should track, although I suspect the outcome would be depressing. 8y
Bookquilter Okay I just noticed 2026!!!! 8y
30 likes5 comments
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sprinklefingers
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"When a parent's expectations come from the wrong place and are pressed into service of the wrong goals, kids get hurt."

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Apinlibraryland
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Got my Book of the Month box! Reading Love That Boy soon!

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Bookquilter
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Moved on to book#3--- feeling good... Husband is grilling burgers. So grateful he is willing to let me do this while he takes care of "business".... #24in48

Cpb My daughter, who has high functioning autism, loved this book. 8y
Spiderfelt That's a great quote. He mentions Far From The Tree by Andrew Solomon a couple of times. This could have been pulled straight from Solomon. 8y
23 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Bookquilter
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I think this is my stack for 24 in 48 barring any library timeline demands....

Reviewsbylola I loved I Let You Go! 8y
Megabooks Great books! Enjoy. I can't wait! 8y
MrBook Nice stack! 8y
[DELETED] 2232195534 I Let You Go was very good. 8y
Suzze Really liked I Let You Go! And I am getting excited for 24 in 48! Always fun. 8y
27 likes5 comments
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ReadThisBookYall
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So pumped for my first BOTM box! Love That Boy, plus a Curtis Sittenfeld add on--not sure how I can be this excited when I have a TBR pile, both literal & electronic, threatening to take over my house. Couldn't resist Fournier's memoir of releasing the crushing expectations we place on our kids

Twocougs I have a similar illness. My tbr pile is so big that I'm embarrassed to show anyone but I still keep getting books. 8y
BookMusings Don't worry. Some of us have entire walls of our bedroom with bookshelves of books that are at least half unread and we keep buying them. 8y
ReadThisBookYall My spouse begged for space in our mutual library, so I took some books down to our basement shelves. Felt like some of my babies had fled the nest, so I went down to visit them last night! I need to be better at sharing @BookMusings @Twocougs 8y
MrBook Nice pic! 8y
19 likes4 comments
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Chiperskee
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Try to be a model of passion and compassion and your kids will follow. Easier said than done of course....