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Girls & Sex
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape | Peggy Orenstein
The author of the New York Times bestseller Cinderella Ate My Daughter offers a clear-eyed picture of the new sexual landscape girls face in the post-princess stagehigh school through collegeand reveals how they are negotiating it.A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrows women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over seventy young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls sex lives in the modern world.While the media has focusedoften to sensational effecton the rise of casual sex and the prevalence of rape on campus, in Girls and Sex Peggy Orenstein brings much more to the table. She examines the ways in which porn and all its sexual myths have seeped into young peoples lives; what it means to be the the perfect slut and why many girls scorn virginity; the complicated terrain of hookup culture and the unfortunate realities surrounding assault. In Orensteins hands these issues are never reduced to simplistic truths; rather, her powerful reporting opens up a dialogue on a potent, often silent, subtext of American life todaygiving readers comprehensive and in-depth information with which to understand, and navigate, this complicated new world.
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Christinak
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The sex in TV and movies can be simultaneously explicit and evasive. Sex, particularly noncommitted sex, is typically presented as fun and advisable; rarely is it #awkward or silly or challenging or messy or actively negotiated or preceded by discussion of contraception and disease protection. There‘s always plenty of room in the backseat of those limousines, and nary a pothole in the road.

#QuotsyMar19 #31DaysOfNonFiction

CouronneDhiver 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 10mo
gradcat Omigod! This brought a smile to my face...so true, and such a great example (no potholes 😂). 10mo
42 likes2 comments
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Reggie
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#MusicalNewYear I liked this book because it acknowledges that not everybody is #waiting for marriage. I read this 2 years ago and it was interesting and thought provoking.

Cinfhen 🙌🏻💕 12mo
TrishB Yep 👍🏻 12mo
readordierachel This one is on my list 12mo
Reggie @readordierachel It‘s really good. 12mo
76 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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Kathrin
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Pickpick

What a brutally honest and direct book. This was a really interesting and at times uncomfortable to read. I think the author balanced the interviews with her volunteers and her research well and made it engaging.

Megabooks I loved it too 2y
cocomass This book is so good and IMPORTANT 2y
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Autumn
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Why does the cover have to be so loud?? I‘m just trying to be a better mom to my daughters by reading this & boy, that subtitle is accurate

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Well-ReadNeck
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Pickpick

Wow! So much here to learn and discuss. I passed along to my 16 yo daughter to read next. Talking sex with kids can be difficult, but is so very important, as illustrated in this book. My biggest takeaway is that we need to be talking about the positives about sexual intimacy as well as all of those things we worry about. 👍🏼👍🏼

BookishFeminist I loved this book. Peggy Orenstein goes really in-depth with her research. 2y
merelybookish Yes, I think we do a disservice to girls when the pleasurable aspects of sex are downplayed (or omitted.) 2y
Reggie This was a very smart book. Made me think of all the negative sex messages there are out there. 2y
114 likes3 stack adds3 comments
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Carolineleavitt

Peggy Orenstein talks about her groundbreaking book on my blog! Carolineleavittville.blogspot.com

2 likes1 stack add
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Hooked_on_books
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Here's my lo-fi wrap up of February read. Several still in process (which I will be saying about Infinite Jest for several months) and I seem to have fallen off the HP chapter a day wagon. For a short month, I think this is respectable for me.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Great job! And great list! 3y
55 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Bookladylinda
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This is what happens when you go to the library to pick up one book on the reserve shelf. 😍😍😍😍😍📚📚📚📚📚📚

RadicalReader @Bookladylinda definitely what happens when you go to the library every time I have this happen to me 3y
Bookladylinda @RadicalReader I probably would have picked up more but the library was getting ready to close. 🙁🙁🙁🙁 3y
saguarosally Double that and you'd see what happens to me. 😂 3y
Bookladylinda @saguarosally - 😂😂😂😂😂 3y
37 likes4 comments
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Hooked_on_books
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Pickpick

This book is outstanding--a pick plus. Sex has always been a minefield, particularly for girls and women. Orenstein narrows in on the current crop of high school and college young women and the particular challenges encountered by this generation. The bottom line is the need to talk more honestly and comprehensively to both girls AND boys about sex to achieve a more balanced, respectful interaction which is better for all.

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EllieDottie
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reganparks
Mehso-so

It took me forever to get through this because there were so many times I had to shake my head at Peggy Orenstein and walk away from the book. If you've done any reading on what it's like for girls to be sexual today, then you know most of what the book tells. I'm inclined to say this book is written for someone older than me who doesn't know all the complications that girls face. The only info that I found interesting was on the last page.

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LeahsBookNest
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Nonfiction pick. I have a few issues with this one already but it's an interesting read.

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melissathebeautiful
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They needed to be "smart, driven, involved in many different activities (as are men), and, in addition, they are supposed to be pretty, sexy, thin, nice, and friendly".

[DELETED] 1409720085 😭😭😭 3y
melissathebeautiful @emilydecato right, so many things!? 3y
[DELETED] 1409720085 Like it is not possible to be all the things! 3y
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Reggie
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Pickpick

This book was great. Very thought provoking. Even though it made me uncomfortable, I appreciate the forward thinking she presents in the last quarter of the book. I wonder if I had kids, would I have the courage to talk to them so openly about body parts and sex and all the issues surrounding those topics. Not to instill fear and shame but to encourage dialogue, joy and exploration, respect for oneself and ones partner. Very awesome book.

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Reggie
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The subject matter in this book is pretty heavy. A little depressing all the external factors girls face so early in their lives and how that influences their self thought and the choices they make.

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thereadingwomen
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Pickpick

Congrats to our runner-up in nonfiction: Peggy Orenstein's GIRLS & SEX!! Orenstein provides extremely important data about how girls (and boys) perceive sex in our culture. She discusses extensively the problems with porn culture, ignoring rape, and generally how society as a whole does (or does not) talk about sex. A great read for anyone who wants to better understand this important topic.
#readingwomenaward2016 #thereadingwomen

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autumnprivett
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Pickpick

If you've ever encountered someone who didn't think rape was a thing or blamed a girl's outfit for how she was treated by boys, and you knew they were wrong but weren't quite sure how to respond, then you must read this book. Orenstein examines thoroughly examines how our culture's attitude towards sex, rape, and hookups and proposes a better way forward with education, acceptance, and mutual respect. Highly, highly recommend. #nonfictionnovember

kdwinchester Such a good one! I love it so much! If you find a good deal on it as you are looking for it, let me know. 😻 3y
autumnprivett @kdwinchester You betcha!!! 3y
david3 . 3y
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Soubhiville
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Strange reading for a hospital waiting room? Lol. I finished my other book, and didn't think about whether it might look strange reading this in public when I packed my bag this morning. (Husband had surgery- he's in recovery and doing fine, whew!)

BookishFeminist Glad to hear he's doing alright! Sending good vibes for a speedy recovery. 💞 Also I loved this book earlier this year. Incredibly well-researched and informative. 3y
Cinfhen Glad to hear surgery went well 😊 3y
Zelma Glad everything went smoothly. 👍 3y
UwannaPublishme You probably helped a lot of people smile when they saw your book! 😊 happy to hear your husband is doing well. 👍🏻 3y
Godmotherx5 Oh to have been a fly on the wall 😉 Glad surgery went well. 3y
53 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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Well-ReadNeck
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I've heard great things about this one. Now that it's available for $1.99 I guess It's time!

sj_connor I haven't read this one, but I read her book Schoolgirls and I really liked it. 3y
Megabooks It's very good! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa That's a great price! 3y
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SFPublicLibrary
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Current read

BookBoggart Hahaha the "excelsior" laminent. 3y
Soubhiville I'm reading this too! Although not quickly, because The Fireman is eating all my time... ☺️ 3y
37 likes7 stack adds2 comments
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Soubhiville
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And my adult library haul. These were holds, picked up yesterday. Of course this morning I had an email to go pick up another hold... lol. 📚📚📚

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samritch
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"..the only thing that 100 percent of rapes have in common is a rapist. You can shroud women from head to toe, forbid them alcohol, imprison them in their homes- and there will still be rape."

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Jaimie
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Pickpick

Finished up this one last night. There was a lot of information, and I took it pretty slow. I definitely had more than one occasion in the last few weeks where what I read came up in conversation. I can't really decide if the world has changed that much since I was a teen, or if I was just totally oblivious to what was going on around me. Very interesting and sometimes disturbing read.

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Megabooks
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Pickpick

5🌟My how things have changed in the 15-20 years since I was in high school & college. Maybe my experience of pleasure and reciprocity was unique even then. Idk. I don't remember sexy dress being empowering, but rape and sexual assault weren't taken as seriously. 2 steps forward... It's up to us adults to help girls and boys get positive messages about sex & sexuality. Overall an important read for men and women, parents and non-parents. 👇🏻

Megabooks Surprisingly or not the most hope for women is in the lesbian community. Overall these girls had much better partnered experiences. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ebooksandcooks great review! I learned a lot from this book too! 3y
Megabooks Thank you @Riveted_Reader_Melissa ! You're a big part of the reason I pick this up. 👍🏻 3y
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BookishFeminist Glad you enjoyed this! Very eye opening for me too even though I know I experienced many of the same things and pressures discussed in the book. I've been recommending it to everyone lol 3y
Megabooks @BookishFeminist See I didn't. But when I talk to friends who are just 5-6 years younger than I am, they did experience it. I was conventionally attractive and sexually active, but I felt more like Peggy than the girls. ❓ 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ebooksandcooks Thank you, I'm glad you found it a worthy read. 3y
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Megabooks
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Sorry I haven't been on much today. I'm trying to finish both of these books, and I cleaned out a fair number of childhood books today. Funny pictures forthcoming on Monday!

Meanwhile, both these books are breaking my heart for different reasons. 😭😭😭 But, they're both amazing.

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Megabooks
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The entirety of chapter 2 has made me so sad for the state of sexuality in girls and young women. (16-22) They don't consider their own pleasure as part of the experience and consider sex painful and gross. Receiving oral sex is apparently unsatisfying and gross as well. Yet they consider a man's pleasure their responsibility. Under 30% have had an orgasm with a partner. Just makes me so sad. ☹️😞 #litsyafterdark obvs.

Theresa 😢🙁 3y
audiothing Nothing changes 3y
63 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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Megabooks
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🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🔥🔥🔥

TheNextBook 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 3y
TheJOMOreader You have just reminded me that my digital loan expired in the middle of this book, and I never finished. I'll remedy that soon! 3y
66 likes2 comments
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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http://www.thedp.com/article/2016/09/rape-culture-flyers

*when the content of your latest read seems to show up in the press directly after reading it.

Godmotherx5 Gut wrenching. 3y
Chessa 😞 3y
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Mamashep 😞 3y
BookishFeminist 😓 Awful. 3y
Smrloomis 😢 3y
42 likes6 comments
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Pickpick

Do you have girls/boys, teens, any young men/women you care about who are growing up in this day and age, or do you just care about how sex fits into the ongoing sexual dynamic of women & men. Where we've gone wrong (hint: little, none, or inaccurate sex ed) & where other countries have taken a different avenue with very interesting results. It's scary to read in our Puritanical society, but unless we start reading & talking, nothing will change.

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Laura317 I don't want to rely on someone who doesn't know a vulva from a Volvo teaching my kids about sex. 3y
LauraBeth @Laura317 😂😂 3y
Hooked_on_books Ok, that's horrifying. 3y
Loreen This is just horrifying. 3y
33 likes4 comments
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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flawed,” unable to “relax."
"Since all girls are now presumed to have oral sex in their repertoire,” she said, “anal sex is becoming the new ‘Will she do it or not?‘ behavior, the new ‘Prove you love me.‘"
"It‘s a metaphor, a symbol in one concrete behavior for the lack of education about sex, the normalization of female pain, and the way what had once been stigmatized has, over the course of a decade, become expected. If you don‘t want to do it..

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...If you don‘t want to do it you‘re suddenly not good enough, you‘re frigid, you‘re missing out, you‘re not exploring your sexuality, you‘re not adventurous.” 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ..."And still, she added, “girls‘ sexual pleasure is not part of the equation.”" 3y
Lizpixie Oh. My. God. Men are pigs and women are idiots. Mostly. 3y
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Lizpixie And this is why we have the rise of rage filled feminists who most class as man haters. What the hell do they expect if this is the crap being forced upon our daughters? 3y
Lizpixie Ughh, ughh. Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall. 3y
Gezemice Oh my god. Terrible. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie you are excused.... I think I better switch to something lighter for a bit myself.... 3y
Lizpixie I just can't. I'm so mad I can't think straight. What the hell happened to the generation of the sexual revolution? How did they manage to fuck it up so spectacularly? What did they teach the next generation for this to happen?? 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie The sad thing is they are learning from porn, so the young men in question have no idea how idiotic they are being in some of these cases either..... So depressing. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie Again if your source of sex info is porn.... you don't see a lot of porn all about pleasure the girl while the guy gets nothing. Or you pleasuring the girl at all for that matter. So where we went wrong was we stopped talking about mutually beneficial pleasure, because we bought into the argument that telling teens it could be pleasurable would encourage them to have sex, never admitting that biologically they are most likely going to... 3y
Lizpixie I know. There is responsible porn out there but most is just aimed at the broadest audience. Things just haven't changed much at all, my husbands generation were under the impression that if you had large labia, it meant you had lots of sex! They had no idea that every woman is different naturally, because women in porn or skin mags were airbrushed or surgically fixed. The size of your labia has as much to do with your sex life as blue eyes do. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa ... Be compelled to experiment regardless. What scares me here, is that as these things become the norm, where will porn go next to push the envelope and still be risky/exciting....if everyone's engaging in oral or anal from a youngish age, that's not going to be as shocking anymore, that isn't going to be generating them the clicks anymore, so they'll be pushing something beyond. 3y
TheNextBook @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I have a feeling that I need to read this. I have a son and I dont want him to have this attitude towards sex. Mind you I have quite a while before I need to have this conversation but I think this would be a good resource as frustrating as it is. 3y
Lizpixie Which is to say, NOTHING!! I couldn't believe it when he told me that *facepalm* 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie That's funny now, because it sounds so quaint!!!! How sad is that! But again, something sex education would have been useful for educating. 3y
Ellsbeth If I remember correctly, research show that abstinence only sex ed leads to higher rates of pregnancy and STI/STDs. If parents don't talk to kids about this and educators aren't allowed to talk about it, kids are going to find information somewhere. Sadly, this turned out to be internet porn, an industry focused primarily on male pleasure & over exaggeration/abnormality. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @TheNextBook Yes, you do. I've had deep conversations with my nephew over the years, and I thought I'd covered a lot...but now I'm thinking I should have covered even more information. If you have an idea what's out there, it's much easier to have frank discussions here and there as topics come up as they grow older so that you aren't sitting them down and having one huge awkward conversation at one time. 3y
GinaAnderson I kind of knew this but to see it in print...it's depressing. I have two boys and they roll their eyes and get squeamish when I go on my rants about not being owed sex or anything else by the girls they choose to date and who choose to date them. Luckily my 26-year-old nephew is there to back me up. 3y
Ellsbeth When I taught high school, my administration asked me to do a presentation on internet safety for about 100 faculty. All our HS students had MacBooks at the time (my state had $$). My admin and IT department asked me to address our porn problem in the presentation. Not only were students watching it, they were producing their own porn. By the way, this was in 2009. Yup, 7 years ago. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth You do remember correctly! STD's were related in the teens minds with 'real' sex, penetration sex, so oral sex was considered safe...that's why their STD rates went up. The pregnancy rate went up in that group because when they were ready to have sex, birth control required planning, and was therefore seen as premeditation. Planning to sin was much worse than it accidentally happening in their minds. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @GinaAnderson that's great that he did back you up! 3y
GinaAnderson I've also had conversations with each of them about how the poem that they all watch (and they do all watch) is not an accurate representation of sex. In other words, modify your expectations, pal. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth Why not, they are already adding gamer videos to YouTube as soon as they get an Xbox, or shopkins videos in elementary school. So it makes sense that they continue posting about what interests them as they get older.... Yes that sounds horrible, but I'm trying to be realistic, sadly... 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Ok... I feel sadder just knowing this exists in the world and people are signing up to do it to themselves. 😢

Bookworm54 It seems like a difficult but very intriguing and in depth read! 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Bookworm54 It is, I'm learning a lot, and even if it's hard to read...it's important to know. 3y
Gezemice Ick! 3y
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Ellsbeth I listened to this on audio. I actually recommend it for those working in high schools and higher ed. It is quite the perspective on our students' relationships, lives, and choices. I read this not too long after I read Modern Romance. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth It is a great recommendation to anyone working in HS or Higher Ed. I completely agree. 3y
Ellsbeth The part about young woman rating sex as great anytime it wasn't painful is very sad and telling of our culture. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth exactly! That's so sad...it's like women's rights leaped forward in public and backwards in the bedroom. So sad, and since no one wants to talk about sex it's just continuing. 3y
Martyn_J_Pass This has made me feel a bit ill... So sad. 3y
Ellsbeth Our country isn't very good at having open conversations about sex or racism. This obviously isn't working out too well for us. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth That is true and the understatement of our history! 3y
Smrloomis I wish there were a sad button too. I'm with @The_Bear. This makes me ill. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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* Again these are High School girls, so if they have a catchy slang saying ready at hand you know it's been passed around for a bit.

Shortstack Your posts are making me physically ill. 3y
queerbookreader I'm so glad you're posting about this book, I've been considering getting it from the library 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Shortstack Sorry @lemonlime799 It's one of those times where I debated posting a bunch, but hope it will inform some and encourage others to pick it up and read it. It's uncomfortable but important information. 3y
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Gezemice What what what!!! 3y
Lizpixie I just went and read this out to my husband and 19yr old daughter, and she said that its pretty much what a lot of girls think, and we don't have the excuse of religion & right wing nut jobs (mostly) here in Australia. I'm so disgusted.😡 3y
Ellsbeth @lemonlime799 It is worth reading. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie ugh! That's disheartening even more so! It's an international sex education, feminism in sex failure. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie I'm even more upset now... You really need to read this book. 3y
Lizpixie I don't understand why people still treat sex education as something to be disgusted about. I went through hell as a teenager because periods weren't talked about (my mother still calls them "your things!!") so my endometriosis went untreated for eight years, and god forbid you ask any questions about S. E. X. I swore I'd be more open with my kids and they know they can come talk to me about anything. And both my girls have managed to avoid 3y
Lizpixie the teen pregnancy epidemic because I educated them about being able to say no, and about safe sex and that any type of sexual contact is sex and not to be pressured into anything. I'm really proud of my 19yr old, she has a reputation as a prude because she doesn't just jump into bed immediately with any boy, which is not prudish just damn good sense! 3y
Lizpixie Ok. Rant over. 😡 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie exactly... I wish that more in the sex education refusal end of the spectrum would understand that, kids who know the real facts about sex tend to be more careful. Growing up in a vacuum doesn't make them stop engaging in the behavior, but makes the only information they have to go on innuendo, rumors, and what they see online. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie and you can rant anytime you want! One of the best things about Litsy is that when I read these great books, even if they are about tough subjects, I finally have someone to talk to about them! Before I just highlighted a lot, but couldn't talk about it with anyone. 3y
Lizpixie Exactly! My daughters best friend, who grew up in a half religious half new age house ( her mothers nuts!) has the most twisted, skewed approach to relationships. It's so painful to hear her acquaint sex with love. She's so starved for attention & affection that she'll take anything that's given to her and calls it love, and has already had miscarriages, stds. It's horrifying that if you take a poll, most girls her age have been pregnant before. 3y
Lizpixie And either miscarried, had an abortion or become a teen mother. Out of my daughters year, there's about 20 girls who are now mothers, and many more that have been forced to make adult decisions about pregnancies that they were way too young to be ready for. I despair for our girls, I really do. 3y
Lizpixie Thank you for ranting rights! I also have no one to discuss this with, I'm one of the few enlightened mothers I know. Most tend to stick their heads in the sand and pretend it's not happening until they become grandmothers at 35 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie Me too! And I'm not even a mom, just a concerned aunt and a concerned human being because this take on sexuality does nothing for over half of the population. It's so sad and so important for equality studies to focus on as well. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Lizpixie anytime! My posting sprees are my own version of ranting and sharing. I'm so happy to have people to talk to about the in depth books! 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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You know, because only intercourse will get you pregnant or create a risk of STD's (What?).
*
*Again High Schoolers here.

moranadatter Ugh, yes. When I was young, sex ed also treated pregnancy as the worst thing that could happen to a woman. I still struggle to say "Congratulations!" rather than offer moral support when someone tells me she's pregnant. I know I'm not alone in this. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @kmdartist Exactly, isn't it sad that we are all a bit warped by this early anti-appropriate sex education. 3y
moranadatter @Riveted_Reader_Melissa So sad. And probably not what they intended. I want to believe it's better now, but I relatively certain it isn't. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @kmdartist You may not want to read this book....sadly it isn't better. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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"Sam commented that while her male peers had been warned not to coerce girls into intercourse, pushing for oral was fair game."
*This is High School girls, just FYI...because that just makes it even more.....icky?

TheNextBook 😳😳😳😳😳 I am so befuddled. Sex ed in many states is failing students... 3y
Gezemice Ouch! I got girls in high school... although they are both not even considering boys or sex. This does make me worried though. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @TheNextBook I know! That was actually my next post.. The author thinks this tracks back to a lot of abstinence only education...because oral sex isn't 'real' sex apparently. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Gezemice I have nieces! You should probably read this, that way when you do catch a whiff of a side comment you might know more info. 3y
Gezemice I will have to ask my older one. She stays out of the sex scene but her friends talk a lot about it so she would know. 3y
Ellsbeth I used to work in an abstinence only sex ed state. I once overheard some of my sophomore boys talking about how slamming Mt. Dew before sex worked as a spermicide (Yellow #5). Of course, I had a conversation to correct the misinformation. I hate those conversations, but I will have them to protect students. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth We so need better sex education classes, the rumors that get around and what people will believe if left in a vacuum is crazy and depressing. Or worse yet, their only sex education is from porn. 3y
Ellsbeth Porn as sex ed really bothers me. Orenstein does a good job addressing this issue. It is also no wonder young women feel their main purpose is to please. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Ellsbeth when your only example is woman in porn, an industry that is male dominated and aims to push boundaries, women are never going to fair well. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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You know there is a problem when the "smart" girls feel unqualified because of beauty standards.

Tav Sadly, so, SO sadly, I can identify with this passage. I felt that was for *decades.* 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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of winter. As concerned as I am about the policing of girls‘ sexuality through clothing, I also worry about the incessant drumbeat of self-objectification: the pressure on young women to reduce their worth to their bodies and to see those bodies as a collection of parts that exist for others‘ pleasure; to continuously monitor their appearance; to perform rather than to feel sensuality."
"... a conversation I had with Deborah Tolman, a professor...

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...at Hunter College and perhaps the foremost expert on teenage girls‘ sexual desire. In her work, she said, girls had begun responding “to questions about how their bodies feel—questions about sexuality or arousal—by describing how they think they look. I have to remind them that looking good is not a feeling.” 3y
KVanRead 😱 3y
SusanInTiburon (Sigh) 3y
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Tav Awful! But nothing that doesn't match up with my own past experience of being a teenage girl and a young woman. This seems like a great--fascinating, important--book. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Tav It is.... And these passages ring try for me too, some of the later ones go beyond my HS experience though. 3y
Ellsbeth As the mother of two young girls, I sometimes get really annoyed trying to buy clothes that are not hypersexualized. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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That was true 'many' years ago when I was in high school too, but I was amazed at a lot of other things in this book that have changed, since my HS days, and not for the better.

Shortstack I'm a little terrified to read this. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Shortstack I'm over halfway finished, and yes...it's a bit scary and harrowing at times. So many steps forward, but some big leaps back too. But with two young nieces.... I feel like it's better to know then not, even if it is terrifying at times. 3y
Shortstack @Riveted_Reader_Melissa True. Also good to know the state of our world. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Shortstack Yes...My overarching impression so far, is girls are more liberal and independent in their regular lives, but it either has not translated, or has translated in a bastardized bizarro world form, in their sexual lives...which is so sad. 3y
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

That was true 'many' years ago when I was in high school too, but I was amazed at a lot of other things in this book that have changed, since my HS days, and not for the better.

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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thorny questions when looking at female sexuality at any age, but particularly when considering girls‘ early, formative experience. Nonetheless, I was determined to ask them."
^ Sounds like a promising start to this book.

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review
mdemanatee
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Pickpick

Was this a perfect book? No. But this is a complicated subject where it's almost impossible to cover everything adequately, let alone in 236 pages. What that means is this book should be just the start of in depth scholarship. Regardless, as a primer this is a must read for anyone that has teens or college students in their lives.

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TheEscapist
Bailedbailed

I might need to try this one again as an audiobook. I really like listening to Orenstein in interviews, but I'm having a hard time getting into this one.

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KatyAliceReads
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Mehso-so

I wanted to like this book. I did learn from parts of it. But I feel it does a huge disservice to LGBT+ girls and their parents by only spending only one slight chapter on queer sexuality that focuses mostly on how the Internet is a safe haven.

There's a lot of important information about rape culture and how young girls are victims of constant sexualization from even the most benign sources.

But it was very white/hetero/cis centric.

iread2much I don't know if you've listened to her interviews, but she's local to where I live so I heard a ton of them and she did address why she focused that way, too bad she didn't address that in the book. 4y
KatyAliceReads @iread2much She briefly touched on the fact that most of her sample were self-selected and she didn't get much LGBT+ response... But to relegate them to one chapter, excluded from other issues of sexual assault and sexualization was unfortunate. 4y
iread2much I haven't read it yet, but I imagine that's true. I enjoyed her Cinderella book very much, but I don't think the methodology of this books stands up well so I haven't read it yet. 4y
KatyAliceReads @iread2much Exactly! The methodology is really flawed. She ends up with primarily white, straight upper-middle class. "Self-Selection" fails her on the diversity front... But it's well written 4y
iread2much She does write well...maybe if this had been advertised as a case study instead of research it would have helped to control expectations 4y
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KatyAliceReads

Very heterocentric so far, which is to be expected. But I feel like a whole swath of ladies aren't being addressed...

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KatyAliceReads

I'm not quite certain, but I think my white feminist sense in tingling... 😬

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KatyAliceReads

I've only gone 2 deep into my 2016 Feminist Reading List, and I'm already exhausted...

It's one thing to know that there is pervasive misogyny in every corner of human culture... It's a totally new level when you're confronted with the research, studies, percentages, and figures...the body count, if you will.

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KatyAliceReads
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KatyAliceReads
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My weekend reads...

WordWaller Love this pic! 4y
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TheEscapist
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Reading this because I have a son. Thank you, library!