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How to Raise an Adult
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success | Julie Lythcott-Haims
"Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure. . . . A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." -Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times bestsellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well "For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." -Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times bestsellers Drive and A Whole New Mind A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings-and of special value to parents of teens-this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
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review
4thhouseontheleft
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Pickpick

I can think of many parents in my own community who need to read this book, and I definitely found plenty of useful information to help prevent falling into the overparenting trap. Especially during times that I may feel vulnerable about my choices and values because they differ from the norm in my community.

I feel like I am in a generation of parents that want to bubble wrap our kids, which does nothing to prepare them for adulthood.⬇️⬇️

4thhouseontheleft I was partially raised that way to begin with, being born right on the divide between Gen X & Millennials. I often feel I am the odd one when I let my kid walk to a friend's house alone, don't have her signed up for travel sports, and other such things. This book was very validating, while also showing areas I could improve. #nonfiction2019 #unlikeablecharacter (not sure how to fill this prompt with NF, but some of the moms in this were 😳. 5mo
tpixie I also found some of John Rosemond‘s advice to be helpful. It kind of helped remind me what was my responsibility as a parent & the child‘s responsibility and making and learning from their own decisions 5mo
4thhouseontheleft @tpixie Ye! A lot of info in this book wasn‘t new to me, but I did like that it gave some very concrete and practical tips that seem useful in navigating the middle and high school years. 5mo
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tpixie I‘ll save it for my daughters! 5mo
TrishB I have been constantly questioned about letting my kids do what I think are resilience building things! And this might only be getting the bus on their own. I‘m probably the opposite of one of these parents! 5mo
LapReader My 8 and 10 year old step daughters can get themselves to school and home again to a parent free house for a couple of hours. We used to call such kids ‘latch key kids‘ when I was at school but no one seems to do this nowadays. 5mo
4thhouseontheleft @TrishB @lapreader Our elementary school didn‘t allow kids to walk home by themselves (even though there was a crossing guard and it‘s right across the street from our neighborhood). It was frustrating! (edited) 5mo
Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sounds good to me! 5mo
83 likes5 stack adds8 comments
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4thhouseontheleft
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No words needed. 😼😹 #catsoflitsy #HelloKitty

Needless to say, I‘m not getting any reading done at the moment. 🤣

BiblioLitten Gorgeous!! 😍 5mo
4thhouseontheleft @bibliokitten just looked back T my #HelloKitty hashtag, and realized she must be in completely in love with the tagged book because she seems to make an appearance every time I‘m reading it. 😂😂 5mo
Meaw_catlady Awww! So regal 5mo
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Heatherfeather Soooooo pretty! 5mo
TheSpineView So sweet! 5mo
Leftcoastzen Me first! What‘s al this other stuff?😻😹 5mo
daena Wow, what a beauty! 5mo
MaleficentBookDragon 😹😹😹 5mo
Bookzombie She is beautiful! 💕🐱 5mo
marleed So beautiful! 5mo
annkuch13 😻😻😻 5mo
BookNAround Such a gorgeous #kal. LOL! 5mo
Dawnrod1970 So pretty 5mo
4thhouseontheleft @BookNAround I had to scroll through that hashtag to figure out what it stood for, but yep! A definite #kal 😹 5mo
BookNAround @4thhouseontheleft She could be the poster kitty for kitties against literature. 😂 5mo
Gissy Love that photo! What a personality!!😻❤️❤️❤️❤️ 5mo
120 likes16 comments
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4thhouseontheleft
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Enjoying a late breakfast post-workout. Messy GF avocado toast, my egg didn‘t slice nicely. 😂 With no pressing chores, I hope to get a lot of reading time in today!

Cathythoughts I think the eggs sliced very artistically 👍🏻 6mo
4thhouseontheleft @Cathythoughts I like the way you think. 😃👩🏻‍🎨 6mo
Meaw_catlady Looks so yummy ! I wish I had an avacado! 6mo
wanderinglynn Looks delicious! 6mo
94 likes4 comments
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4thhouseontheleft
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A loaded statement. I wish the author included more than just one anecdotal story about this. I‘m curious if there is research to back it up. There certainly is a growing epidemic of drug and alcohol abuse in young adults from affluent areas, and it‘s definitely something I think about often with a new middle schooler with a family history of addiction (my birth mom and sister).

Comfortingly, this book is validating most of my parenting choices!

Scochrane26 Not sure about that statement either, but I know inconsistent parenting leads to defiance & delinquency. 6mo
cherinium @Scochrane26 My extended family is living that out right now in a very painful way. 💔 6mo
Scochrane26 @cherinium sorry to hear that, hopefully they have some help (therapy). @4thhouseontheleft I said I wasn‘t sure about the quote, but I would add that drugs are increasing in all families, it seems. (edited) 6mo
4thhouseontheleft @cherinium I'm sorry to hear that. 💕 6mo
4thhouseontheleft @Scochrane26 It definitely is, and it's sad how my youngest sister (we're both adopted, and were raised by different parents), knows so many friends, including her long-term boyfriend, that have either OD'd, or struggle with addiction. It's definitely a complex problem. 6mo
58 likes1 stack add5 comments
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4thhouseontheleft
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Oh, am I in your way? That‘s what you get for taking me to the vet today. 😼 #CatsofLitsy #HelloKitty

wanderinglynn So pretty! ❤️🐱 But such a catitude! 😹 6mo
Megabooks That is definitely an “I‘ve been to the vet” look! 😍😍 (edited) 6mo
Klowman78 Cute kitty 6mo
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laur89 That‘s the look of “Ha. Payback for ruining my day.” 🤣 6mo
4thhouseontheleft @wanderinglynn Such catitude! And the spicy calico which usually has all the 'tude cuddled up on my lap when we got home. Go figure. They both had their annual check ups today. She plays dead at the vet, and Isabel growls like a lion the whole time. 😹 6mo
Leftcoastzen 😂😻 6mo
Susanita My cat usually runs off and sulks for a few hours when we get home from the vet. 6mo
rachelsbrittain What a gorgeous kitty! 6mo
113 likes8 comments
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4thhouseontheleft
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I love traveling, it‘s one of my favorite hobbies, but it‘s always good to come home to my fur babies! (One is photo bombing in the background 😂 #HelloKitty).

I don‘t pick Maya up from camp until Friday, so I have two days of quality alone time while hubby is at work. Just finished up the grocery list, so grabbing some reading time before heading to the store. #booksandtea #CatsofLitsy

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4thhouseontheleft
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🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

I‘m sure this book generates a lot of discussion! Recommended by Maya‘s principal, there are certainly a lot of parents in the suburbs where I live that fall into the overparenting trap. Curious to see if any of my parenting habits are problematic to this author, and if so, her advice on best practice.

EH2018 I love this quote! 6mo
64 likes1 stack add1 comment
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4thhouseontheleft
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Kind of ironic that I follow up an #earlyreaders mini-binge with a parenting book for the tween and teen years. 😃 This came highly recommended from Maya‘s elementary school principal, who always has excellent taste in books! #catsoflitsy #HelloKitty

Tamra I‘ll check it out! 6mo
Dolly Aww pretty kitty! 🥰 6mo
AlaMich 😻 6mo
119 likes5 stack adds3 comments
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DavidDiamond
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Pickpick

Through case examples, studies & by the author herself, this book teaches us that we need to raise our children not from a position of fear (which is the root of over-parenting), but from a position of love & understanding. We need to let them be who they are & not who we want them to be. That our job is to raise them not to be our best friends, but to be functioning, confident adults. A must read for all parents no matter the age of your kids!

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DavidDiamond
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Reading a book about how to stop being a helicopter parent while watching the kids swim.

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DavidDiamond
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As a child of the 70s, I just love this...

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BrenaJo
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1 like1 stack add
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BrenaJo
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A little not so lite reading this afternoon

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Ruri_kaichou
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Let's see how much reading I can get in while the kids are watching Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas. Bets anyone? 😁 #MommyBookwormProblems Update: it took 2 pages.

TheWordJar 😂 That‘s longer than I would have bet! I would‘ve given my kids two paragraphs! 2y
Ruri_kaichou @TheWordJar I was a little surprised too. 🤣 I think it helped that they were eating a snack too. 2y
40 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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AmberB1
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Pickpick

Wow does this book spark interesting conversations about how to parent children!! While taking in this the material, my husband and I debated many issues in lauding can our 7 year old walk two blocks to school alone. I loved having the societal norms challenged throughout this book.

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Anna4031
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Interesting reading material while at a trampoline park with a million kids this morning. :P