Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

bailed

This book draws attention to the problems of abstinence only education and other REALLY CREEPY purity activities (the purity ball). This part lives up to the title and claimed point of the book: “How America‘s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women.” A better subtitle for this book would have been “How America‘s Inherent Sexism is Hurting Young Women.” I‘m a feminist. I have nothing against feminism or a book on feminism.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

GingerAntics I‘ve read many books on the subject and will probably read many more. My issue is that this is not the book I thought (or intended) to read. I‘ve read pretty much every argument about sexism, rape culture, and America from other sources. This book is about feminism, not the damage done to women by America‘s obsession with female virginity. 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 5y

GingerAntics This is about social issues as opposed to “these are the problems women face in their relationships with men and in sexual relationships after surviving the abstinence only world view. #ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti 5y

Branwen Wow. How disappointing! 5y

TheBookHippie Ugh 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Well, at least this t-shirt is being honest about this girl seeing herself as property. Score one for honesty...I guess.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #sick

Riveted_Reader_Melissa 😂...sadly too true! 😡 5y

GingerAntics @Riveted_Reader_Melissa that was my reaction. It‘s funny that ANYONE would want to wear this shirt, but it still is angering as well. 5y

inthegreensandblues 🤢 5y

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GingerAntics @inthegreensandblues that sums it up. Yup! 5y

Chrissyreadit While all this is occurring, I wonder what the brothers are thinking? It‘s interesting that other fun deme talks patriarchic religions do this job, but this extreme evangelical uses modern culture as its platform and a way to maintain growth in the message. Some girls where a shirt that says chastity chick. My daughters asked for and got a T-shirt Salty Bitch🤣 5y

readordierachel I actually saw a teenage boy at a gas station wearing a "Virginity Rocks" tshirt a few months back. I couldn't decide if it was legit or meant to be ironic. There are a lot of churches around here, so I'm thinking the former. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit the book did say that there are events for boys and their mothers (forgot what ridiculous name they had) where they pledge to guard and defend the virginity of the girls on their lives (sisters, friends, etc). 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel that‘s not messed up!!! WOW!!! I read this book by the wife of this musician and apparently when they were dating and he found out she wasn‘t a virgin he almost broke up with her. I was just like “wow, seriously? You‘ll just stop loving her because she‘s not a virgin? You wanted a virgin THAT bad? Good lord.” 5y

readordierachel Do you remember the name of the musician? You've got me so curious now! 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel oh, I do...and the name of the book I read it in. It was a funny book. I feel like I could be friends with this woman, honestly. It was Steven Curtis Chapman and it was in his wife‘s book

Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

I have no words.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #wtf

I‘m not sure how much more of this I can take. This is beating the reader over the head with a stick. Get on to how this is negatively effecting real people in their everyday lives.

DrSabrinaMoldenReads Yea. This is tough stuff. 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi I knew the topic was heavy. I wanted to read it because I know the negative effects this mentality has had on me. This book just isn‘t what I thought I was getting in for. It‘s all social, where as I was looking for more practical, I think. 5y

DrSabrinaMoldenReads They might be overdoing their point! Hey! We got it! 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi my thoughts exactly. This continued on for the next several chapters at least. It‘s why I gave up on the book...sadly. 5y

13 likes4 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

WTLF?!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #icanteven #lies #wtf

TheBookHippie How I was taught and how they still teach at some parochial schools here... 5y

Graywacke Crazy... 5y

TheBookHippie Until the last decade you still had to stand in front of your church -girl only -if you became pregnant- several of my friends had to. (edited) 5y

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GingerAntics @TheBookHippie are you serious? smh 5y

GingerAntics @Graywacke it sure is 5y

TheBookHippie @GingerAntics yup. If you got pregnant the girl got kicked out of school not the boy BUT IF you gave your baby up for adoption you could stay ...I could go on ! 5y

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie sounds like catholic school to me! 5y

TheBookHippie @GingerAntics close “Christian” 🤣🤣🤣 you realize I was in the same school with Betsy DeVos 🤢🤮 5y

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie OH GOD!!! I‘m so sorry!!! 5y

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie at least with Catholic school my mother ended up going to high school with Prince (the artist formally known as - who oddly enough was in the same hospital just before his death that my uncle - my mother‘s brother - was dying of the flu in at the same time) 5y

TheBookHippie @GingerAntics the horror daily 🙄 and ack Prince 💜 5y

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie lol it does seem there is a fresh horror every day when you go to any kind of religious school. I‘m always shocked by the folks who are super devout and they loved every minute of it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

This is a straight up lie, and egregiously lying to children should be a crime.

My high school, in a suburb of Dallas, cut out every chapter on reproduction in the biology book. We were not allowed to be told anything about reproduction in humans or animals of any kind. 🙄
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #lies #lackofintegrity #wtf

Megabooks This book is also good. It‘s about the effect later in life of all that Bush-era abstinence-based education.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free

Butterfinger Student 1: So-and-so is out with her 'chestacles'. Student 2: Not chestacles. Testicles. Student 1: She is not an octopus. Me: First of all INTESTINES is part of the digestive system. Secondly, TESTICLES are part of a Male's reproductive system. And, finally, an octopus has TENTACLES, NOT CHESTACLES. I feel that it is my responsibility to straighten up misconceptions, not create them. 5y

GingerAntics @Butterfinger you and me both. You couldn‘t pay me enough to teach something I knew was a blatant lie. 5y

GingerAntics @Megabooks you‘re the second person to suggest that book. I think that‘s the book I thought I was reading. This one is so focused on the social side, it has yet to mention how this is effect everyday life and real relationships. 🤦🏼‍♀️ This Book is getting old, fast. 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Again, holy mother of sweet baby Jesus!!! Exactly ZERO people in the world are suicidal immediately following orgasm. They‘re just making up this crap as they go!!!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #wtf

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

HOLY MOTHER OF SWEET BABY JESUS!!! Janice, I know you‘re in Alabama, but certainly you must know about statutory rape and incest both bring crimes, right? #ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #wtf #JaniceTurner

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

How is this legal?! It‘s a blatant lie, and it‘s needlessly dangerous.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #wtf #lackofintegrity #lies

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Uuuuuum... so telling the truth isn‘t important. Just as long as they don‘t have sex? How does that work out?! I already knew Christians like this didn‘t believe in science, but shite!!!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #lies #lackofintegrity #wtf

Chrissyreadit I wonder what percentage of the Christian population believes this? And how this sub culture is not considered a cult? Because it relies on brain washing to maintain itself- although it has govt support if schools have to also buy into it. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I totally agree on the cult thing. It‘s total false information and brain washing. It‘s disturbing. I think the movement itself misleads parents, so some of them buy in that normally wouldn‘t, but when these parents find the truth, they back out. So those numbers probably don‘t exist. They would come from within, which makes them entirely unbelievable, seeing that we know they lie about everything else. 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

I fully believe that if adults stopped treated young girls‘ sexuality as a commodity, females would stop treating their sexuality as a commodity. They are creating the problem they claim to be solving. Without them, it wouldn‘t exist and thus would not meet to be solved.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #endthemadness #womensrights #womensrightsarehumanrights

VioletBramble I read another book about the subject (concept)of virginity a few years ago - Virgin: The Untouched History by Hanne Blank. It was fascinating. 5y

GingerAntics @VioletBramble that book is mentioned in this one, actually. I hope it‘s not as terrifying as this book. 5y

VioletBramble That book wasn't frightening. At least I don't remember it that way. It basically talked about how female virginity became an obsession during the Elizabethan era and how it evolved from then on. I recommend it if you're looking for more on the subject. 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

We‘ve seen time and time again just how many men involved in the conservative right are all about porn and homosexuality in secret, when they think they can get away with it.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #truth #doublestandard #morallycorrupt #morallowground

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

I remember this. They worded it much differently on the news, basically making her out to be a sick individual who was abusing her children by selling these products. I remember one station even suggested she was also under investigation for child pornography which she absolutely was not. Welcome to Texas.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #silencingwomen

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

It‘s all about silencing women. I‘ve even heard of churches (right now in modern day America) where women are not allowed to speak to anyone but their husbands and only is whispers.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #endthismadness

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

That second half is the most important, obviously.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #itallaboutthebenjamins

Chrissyreadit I just had to look up purity ball images. So very icky in so many ways 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit oh I never thought to do that. I‘m afraid. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit “You‘re married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend.” WHAAAAA?! Several of these girls look like hostages in wedding dresses!!! (edited) 5y

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GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit on my god!!! The way some of these men are peering, leering at their daughters is just disgusting. I found a story where one of the fathers from one series of these photos was arrested for sex with a child. Based on the photos, I think I know which one. 5y

Chrissyreadit Yes!!! Leering - so gross! I think the idea that some of these teens are dressed in white as though marrying their dads is awful! It‘s all creepy- 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit TEENS?! Some of these kids are barely old enough to go to school. It‘s super creepy!!! 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit this author wasn‘t kidding about ballet around a cross, either. So creepy!!! 5y

Chrissyreadit Ah- but the little ones dressed in party dresses reminded me more of a daddy daughter dance. There‘s no way someone is explaining purity to them- There are people who won‘t even discuss anatomy with kids that age! I‘m way more creeped out by the look of tweens and teens with the men- although there certainly could be horrible things going on with the little ones too 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit from what I‘ve read, it‘s all the same, no matter the age. All of those girls are given the same instruction and are taking the same oath. Those little girls shouldn‘t even know what virginity is. That‘s all kinds of inappropriate. 5y

Chrissyreadit Yes-there are several faith based dance groups in my area. I suspect they dance around crosses too and have purity balls - it‘s called praise dance here. 5y

Chrissyreadit Oh no!! I did not know!! What the fuc$???? This is how grooming works. Someone makes you feel special, you learn not to question their authority, they determine your value based on your compliance to their whims... 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit it sure sounds like grooming to me!!! So gross!!! 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I‘ve heard of praise dance, but I‘ve never seen it with dancing around crosses. It seems a little idol worship to me. 5y

Chrissyreadit I snorted!! Idol worship is right! 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit 🤣😂🤣 this whole thing is totally warped 5y

12 likes15 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

The virginity movement and porn are flip sides of the same old, patriarchal coin. Ugh.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

THIS!!! All of this!!! Absolutely this!!! How much less complicated would my life have been if THIS had been how I was told about sex. Instead, I had to call out the curriculum for not matching the religion curriculum, while the teacher was shocked it didn‘t match. Hello, you‘re a bloody adult!!! You can‘t see the obvious inconsistency?! I was 10!!! You made me raise my hand in sex Ed!!! How dare you?!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #sexed

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

And that‘s it in a nutshell.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #womensrightsarehumanrights

Ericalambbrown I need to read this. But it‘s going to infuriate me like Pure did.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown is that book similar? Maybe I read this one, you already read that one, and we‘ll exchange notes. 5y

Ericalambbrown @GingerAntics It sounds similar but Pure focuses on the damage gone to people raised in that ridiculousness. If you want to read it, PM me you address on IG and I‘ll pop it on the mail to you. 5y

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GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown I was under the impression that‘s what this one was about. That‘s kind of the book I wanted to read. I wasn‘t raised in anything this extreme, but I still believe harm was done by the negative and “dirty” view of sexuality I was presented in the mid 90‘s in Catholic School. 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown admittedly, I now use “dirty” (ex “dirty books” or “dirty poetry”) in a more playful manner now. I‘ve sort of taken it back, but I never should have had to. Seriously, what are we doing to the children in our care? In our country? smh 5y

Ericalambbrown @GingerAntics We are creating insecure, frightened young adults with this junk. I totally get what you are saying about “dirty.” I don‘t know if you know who Joshua Harris is - he wrote a book on courtship and purity in the early 90s that became THE evangelical book for young adults. He quit the church last year and issued an apology. He grew up realized it didn‘t work for him and his wife - they divorced amicably. 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown I absolutely agree with that. Is that the book about not kissing until marriage? 5y

Ericalambbrown @GingerAntics That was certainly part of it! 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown is that the one with the title about kissing dating good bye? 5y

Ericalambbrown @GingerAntics yep! 5y

GingerAntics @ericalambbrown I had a roommate at college (a creepy little evangelical hell hole) who had that book. She highly recommended I read it. I read part of it and was so confused about how to convince some guy you were attracted to, that was also attracted to you, to do such things and was told If I had to convince the guy, I shouldn‘t be with him at all. I never finished, as I recall, and I‘m so glad I did. Seems you can‘t get the book anymore. 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown OH! There is a documentary on Amazon Prime Video called “I Survived ‘I Kissed Dating Good Bye‘” with Josh Harris. I think I‘m going to have to watch that. 5y

Chrissyreadit Hmm... we‘re over here all about #vaginapride - I just ordered Vagina and am considering The Vagina Bible for my house also. My teens agreed to do a book club with me- and I‘m trying to decide between something like this or a fun YA fiction book - my son will read with us but I‘m sure he will ask where the penis book is for equal representation. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit oh my god that‘s amazing!!! Maybe balance it. Some fun stuff, some stuff they need. Vagina was recommended to me. I‘ve never heard of the Vagina Bible. Is there a Penis book? I‘d probably read that, too. lol 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I‘m out on the Vagina Bible. That thing actually claims the g spot is a myth. WTF?! It looks like I‘ve actually read Vagina before. I‘d love to reread it, though. I remember it quite fondly. 5y

Chrissyreadit I saw that as a criticism when I read reviews last night on The Vagina Bible. There were a couple other comments I thought troubling too, even though they were a minority opinion. But Vagina is ordered. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit oh my, I‘m almost curious as to what madness is in there now, but I think I‘ve had enough misinformation for one lifetime. 5y

Chrissyreadit @GingerAntics I sound and almost feel like a conspiracy theorist but when one person discounts or contradicts experiences of many and studies are not funded I have to wonder about whose ideas or profits are threatened by acknowledging truth can be different for different people. 5y

Chrissyreadit Specifically- and something I know very little about- vaginal steaming. A midwife I know well as expressed how helpful it can be- but like most things it should be with a person who is well trained in vaginal health. She discussed her own experience with it, and a more recent experience of a patient. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I‘m all for you do you, but won‘t that burn tender bits? I think I‘d be worried about the heat, but if it floats someone‘s boat, who am I to judge?! 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I honestly think that‘s one of those things, unless there is medical concern (like maybe it forces air up there and could kill you - then sure give a blanket statement but otherwise just don‘t), that needs to be one of those “to each there own” kind of things. Like yoni massage (discussed in Vagina). Is it for everyone? No. Do some people enjoy it, benefit from it, or need it? Yes. To each their own. 5y

Chrissyreadit Yes! That‘s my perspective- you do you. My understanding with steaming is that if done wrong it could hurt. Or be similar to inhaling steam but vaginally 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit yeah, then a professional would be REALLY important. I certainly wouldn‘t want to go squat over a pot of boiling water or anything. 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!! THIS. IS. DISGUSTING!!!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #daddyissues #childabuse #disgusting #taxes #iwantmymoneyback

Amandajoy 🤦🏼‍♀️. There‘s really nothing else to say. 5y

GingerAntics @Amandajoy right? I‘m not sure I have words. Just... 🤦🏼‍♀️. And maybe “I want my money back.” 5y

Amandajoy Yes. There‘s something I‘d really like my taxes not to go to. 5y

GingerAntics @Amandajoy I‘d like to have my tax money not go to some other things as well, but this just about tops the list. 5y

14 likes4 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Finally, someone said it. This seriously sounds like some of these dudes (fathers?) aren‘t going to see the line they should never cross...seeing that this madness is actually taking their hands and guiding them across it.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #daddyissues

CarolynM Good for Judith Warner! 5y

Ericalambbrown I‘m convinced a lot of dads aren‘t down with this purity culture either but they are being told to be a good dad they must take ownership of their daughters‘ bodies. They go through the motions for this crap to keep from being ostracized or to keep their daughters in the “in crowd” at church. It‘s such an unhealthy atmosphere all around. I‘ve talked to guys who left too because of this nonsense just like I did. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM right? I‘m reading this thinking, “someone had to point this out to you?” Then they go off and deny all of this because it just doesn‘t fit their creepy world view. 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown once again, you have restored my faith in humanity and human decency when it comes to this conservative bullsh. I am so relieved to hear some fathers are walking away. I wish the ones who weren‘t comfortable with it would have the courage to speak up. I think anyone with half a brain can see how unhealthy it is. It‘s like brainwashing. It‘s so disturbing. 5y

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GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

How is this not creepy?! SO many red flags here!!! I‘ve never been more relieved to have grown up without a father. This is just disgusting.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #daddyissues

Bklover Makes my stomach turn a bit. 5y

Eggbeater Because it IS creepy. My dad was a single dad when I was a teenager. We went everywhere together. Never was it referred to as dating. That would have made us both sick. 5y

CarolynM O. M. G!!! That is horrifying! It is wrong and damaging on so many levels. If I start trying to express all the problems I have with this I will be here all day. Just UGH!!! And😡😡😡😡😡 5y

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GingerAntics @Eggbeater EXACTLY!!! He may have taken you out for ice cream or a meal, but it wasn‘t dating. GROSS!!! I‘m all about taking children out for a meal or something special to celebrate birthdays or achievements, especially one on one (or just with both parents and the one kid) if there are multiple children in a family, but this is disgusting. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM @Bklover yes, to all of that. All of the above. This book enrages me. I‘m hoping it gets more hopefully soon. 5y

CarolynM Fathers treating their daughters as individuals of worth is one thing, this is something altogether different. In my view it's likely to create narcissistic princesses rather than women with self esteem. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM oh, they‘re not concerned with self-esteem or self-worth. They talk about virginity as their self-worth and their identity. It‘s just disgusting. This entire thing is a psychological nightmare. I‘m beginning to think it‘s bordering on child abuse. 5y

alisiakae Do not get me started on Focus in the Family. Some of the things I see here in the South (we moved here in 2011) just boggles my mind. The “dating” terminology drives me nuts (same with fathers “babysitting” their kids). 5y

GingerAntics @4thhouseontheleft we moved here in 2000 and we‘ve had enough. How does a father “babysit” his own children. That‘s called parenting!!! 🤦🏼‍♀️ 5y

DrSabrinaMoldenReads Healthy fathers are great, including my own now deceased and my sons. He really did teach me how to be a strong independent woman. I miss his advice terribly to this very day. I very much understand though that every one was not as blessed. However, this certainly does not reflect fatherhood. 5y

DrSabrinaMoldenReads And I was born and raised in the South but as a psychologist for many many years I know that pathology is not localized nor is it according to gender 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi oh no, this book point blank says that these balls and these ideas are happening in every state now. I completely agree that this is not healthy fatherhood in any way, shape, or form. 5y

DrSabrinaMoldenReads And you know what @gingerantics? These girls are more likely to have sex. Oh yea! It‘s going on alright and it‘s a farce. 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi yeah they are! It‘s a fact. These girls are more likely to not use protection because they feel like that‘s planning ahead and that would be worse than “accidentally” getting carried away. 🙄 Farce is the PERFECT word for the whole thing. 5y

readordierachel YIKES. I was subjected to a lot of Focus on the Family as a kid, but thank the stars my dad never tried to date me. This is appalling. 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel you wouldn‘t have found it sweet? They claim good Christian girls LOVE their fathers‘ dating them. 5y

readordierachel Nope, nope, nope. I wasn't a good Christian girl then and as an atheist I'm sure not one now. 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel 🤣😂🤣 you and me both. Do your parents try to convince you you‘re not actually an atheist, like mine? 🤣😂🤣 5y

readordierachel That must drive you crazy!! Weirdly, my folks kinda backed off from religion not too long ago and my mom apologized to me for "drinking the kool aid" (her actual words) for so long ?‍♀️? 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel wow!!! That‘s amazing. Yeah, I don‘t think that‘s happening at my house. I tend to get more of the bait and switch madness. I figure I‘ll just keep my beliefs to myself at home. 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel in fact, I was really Christian at one point (I didn‘t even know how rigid I‘d become until someone said something after I started chilling out), and now I say I was drinking the kool aid. 5y

readordierachel We all drank it at some point. That's the point of indoctrination, right? 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel good point! They told us it was something else and we all drank happily. Luckily, we‘ve since stopped. I think I‘ve replaced it with the occasional arbour mist. 🤣 5y

readordierachel 😆😆😆 5y

GingerAntics @readordierachel actually, the more I think about it, I think I‘ve replaced it with Powerade zero. 🤣 (edited) 5y

18 likes25 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🍷🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #daddyissues

Ericalambbrown Ahhhh, girls as property . . . So infuriating . . . 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown oh my god I want to punch some people in the face, reading this book. Seriously, I don‘t want my tax dollars going to this disgusting madness. 5y

Bklover Oh. My. God. 5y

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Ericalambbrown @GingerAntics It‘s bonkers. I was raised with the forerunner of this nonsense but missed the purity ball madness - or purity banquets because Southern Baptists don‘t dance. My daughter was born in 1998 and I got the hell out. 5y

GingerAntics @Ericalambbrown I‘ve been wondering if some of the people within these groups had children and went “nope. I‘m out.” That does make me feel better. 5y

GingerAntics @Bklover right? How do they not see the disturbing symbolism? How are they not grossed out. “God” does NOT want you doing this, I assure you. If your god wants you doing this madness, I don‘t want anything to do with your god. Thanks. *shudders* 5y

Bklover Neither do I. No thank you. 5y

CarolynM Speechless. This is grotesque. Maybe promising purity to their mothers would be better, after all, it's likely to be mum dealing with any emotional or other fall out if something goes wrong in the daughter's relationship. 5y

CarolynM Obviously, I don't really think anyone should be promising "purity". 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM I think there is harm in calling virginity “purity” anyway. Somehow that makes sex “dirty,” and it‘s just not. Rape is wrong, it‘s terrible. Sexual abuse is wrong, it‘s terrible. Neither of those are sex to me, those are abuses of what is meant to be a good thing. I think we have to move away from calling it dirty. We‘ve got to stop calling genitals “dirty parts” or “nasty parts.” We‘ve got to grow up in how we deal with this. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM oh thank god. I was worried there for a minute. Exactly. It‘s just so problematic. 5y

CarolynM Yes to all of that. I was clumsily trying to point out that the choices girls make about their bodies are unlikely to have any real impact on their fathers but the more I think about it the more I realise this is another kind of stereotypical thinking on my part. Still, I would put money on 99% of the fathers who take part in these activities leaving the practical and emotional support of their daughters to females. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM I 100% agree with that. If you‘re willing to see your daughter this way, you‘re going to be the type to say “tears, this is your mother‘s department.” 5y

Butterfinger You teach me so much with your quotes. Talk of sex didn't happen in my family and I am glad I had that extreme over purity balls. 5y

GingerAntics @Butterfinger you were happy to go to purity balls? Plural? How many did you go to? 5y

Chrissyreadit @Butterfinger did you mean not discussing sex? And prefer that to purity balls? A giggled because I live with teens and so many conversations are about sex, inuendos about sex, jokes about sex. We can‘t discuss catching balls, throwing balls or playing with balls without someone bringing up sweaty balls. I keep explaining balls are balls and testes are testes... but they are not amused. 5y

Butterfinger Oh @GingerAntics you misunderstood. My extreme was not talking about sex. I have never heard of a purity balls till I read your quotes. 5y

Butterfinger @Chrissyreadit that is exactly what I meant. The idea of a purity ball is revolting to me. @GingerAntics just reread my statement. 5y

GingerAntics @Butterfinger thank god. I was really worried about you for a minute. Yeah, there are two extremes here and a lot of us experienced the opposite extreme of this, and I think that‘s just as damaging, if not in the same ways at all. 5y

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit 🤣😂🤣 the mother of teens, I am so sorry. I‘m told this eventually passes. lol 5y

16 likes20 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

No, this isn‘t disturbing AF at all!!!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #disgusting #perv #daddyissues

11 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

This is disgusting. Seriously. What is wrong with us, America?!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

CarolynM Truth. 5y

DrSabrinaMoldenReads This is straight from plantation times. It‘s not new at all. 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi unfortunately, race comes into this way more that most people think. The “ideal virgin” is young, pretty, and white. If you don‘t fit those three categories, you‘re considered unredeemable and not included. I‘m going with this is pretty much a white phenomenon. Does any other group do this crap? I‘d be intrigued to find out. I have no doubt this is even older than plantation times. This book suggests it‘s a good 2,000-3,000 years old. 5y

GingerAntics @Joyfulmimi it‘s straight up twisted, however old it is. We know better than this now, I can‘t believe tax payer money is keeping this madness going. This book is angering me to no end. 5y

15 likes4 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

WTF?!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #childabuse

11 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

What kind of sick bastards buy this shite for their daughters?! WTLF?!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

CarolynM Good question. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM who is buying this stuff? I don‘t know where to get this stuff and I don‘t want to. I‘m just in awe. How about we don‘t buy this stuff and people will stop making it. 🤦🏼‍♀️ 5y

CarolynM I was often horrified by some of the children's clothing I saw when shopping for my kids. For girls it's the sexualised stuff, for boys, especially 8+, it's horror and violence. I actually found it hardest for my son, who didn't want to wear that stuff any more than I wanted to buy it. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM that‘s terrible. The clothing for children is just terrible. A lot of what I see now seems to all be cocky as all get out, then we wonder why teenage boys are so full of themselves. 5y

12 likes4 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Yeah, we do. This hurts little boys as much as it hurts little girls. This hurts adults as much as children. This must be stopped.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

14 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

No wonder people who are all about these programs are up in arms about programs encouraging girls to going into STEM careers, or athletics for young girls. These people are sick and they should in NO WAY be getting federal funds.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

alisiakae I have this book on my bookshelf and definitely plan on reading it this year. 5y

14 likes1 comment

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

News Flash for the Virgin Obsessed!!!
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #reality

GingerAntics Although, I do know a person who is 60 now, and she‘s proud to say she‘s still a virgin...because she‘s waiting until marriage. I‘d be more afraid of dying a virgin than having premarital sex. 5y

13 likes1 comment

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

This. All day, everyday, this.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #feminism #feminismrocks #womenruletheworld

13 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

~+}#€{•+?{+

CarolynM She must know a lot of very insecure men. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM and what about all the men (most I‘ve ever talked to, if not all of them) that love nothing more than to have the woman they love flirt or “initiate” a sexual encounter? They just don‘t exist because they don‘t fit her world view...just like gay men, lesbian women, and women who enjoy sex aren‘t part of her world view. It‘s disgusting. It‘s truly disheartening. 5y

CarolynM I'd say it's too ridiculous to take seriously, except that clearly there some people who do take it seriously. 5y

See All 7 Comments

GingerAntics @CarolynM if I‘m honest, there was a time I took it seriously. When that rhetoric gets into your head, when you‘re young and finding yourself you let it in really, it seems logical. You think it‘s what men want. It‘s bad. There was an incident in a bathtub when I was washing my dog where this BS had me in tears. It was bad. 5y

CarolynM I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. It must have been hard. Unfortunately we can't prevent young people from hearing the ignorant and hateful, we have to hope they have enough self worth to make their own judgements in the end. 5y

GingerAntics @CarolynM oh I completely agree. I think that‘s where we, as parents and educators, should be teaching children facts about their sexuality and allow them to develop realistic ideas before we allow this madness in. Instead, we bombard them with the madness. That‘s sort of the point of this book. The harm this madness does. 5y

CarolynM Yes, I've always thought information is key. Generally speaking we have good sex education in Australian public schools, but every so often some right wing nutter pops up to threaten it😡 (edited) 5y

11 likes7 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Mother f%#$er!!!* 🙄
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #yougottabekiddingme
*see previous post caption

10 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

For anyone who‘s seen me attempt to make cookies that didn‘t come in a package (and sometime even those found in a package), most people would tell me to go back to bed. 🤣😂🤣
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

CarolynM 😂 5y

15 likes1 comment

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

How about no.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

8 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Sorry, I will never be a homemaker. You can take that idea and shove it right up there, because it will never happen.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

6 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

This guy just pops up everywhere. He IS a bloody STD/STI. He just won‘t go away. Certainly he should have no place in talking about or defining morality (sexual or otherwise).
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #Trump #Twat #impeachhim

Scochrane26 He‘s yucky 5y

GingerAntics @Scochrane26 he sure is. If anyone is dirty, it‘s him. He‘s a dirty old man. They‘re going to have to do a deep clean of the White House if he ever leaves. 5y

9 likes2 comments

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

A BIT?! Well, if that isn‘t an understatement.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #JessicaSimpson #Dolt #IsItChickenOrFish #WhatPartOfTheBuffaloIsTheWing

6 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

I have never fit this model. Maybe this is why, when I was a child, I was told I was so rambunctious no man would ever want to marry me. Oh well. If that his ONLY reason to not want to marry me, he can go eph himself.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

Branwen Preach it, sister! 💕👍 5y

7 likes1 comment

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

To think, at one point I was upset when I was seriously considering getting married to my then boyfriend, I was worried about who would “walk me down the isle.” How about I walk mused down the isle...and if I want to do it barefoot, no one will stop me (never marry a man who has a problem with bare feet).
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

7 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

🤣😂🤣 This review amuses me greatly. 🤣😂🤣
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #heregoesnothing

11 likes

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Starting this little gem. This is the first nonfiction book (that I‘ve started) of 2020.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti

14 likes1 stack add

GingerAntics

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Being a recovering, lifelong member of “the church” since December, and living in an area where pre wedding virginity checks are preformed on women (but never men of course), I think I need to read this. I read the sample and it was actually very well written. So far, I agree with every part of it.
#ThePurityMyth #JessicaValenti #virginityobsession

Scochrane26 Ewww. Remember not all churches are the same. 5y

GingerAntics @Scochrane26 it‘s not so much about that extreme, but about the “purity” mentality as a whole. Girls and women are more than their sexuality and weather or not they‘ve had sex. It‘s unhealthy for females, but it‘s also unhealthy for the males in this environment. Virginity is an American obsession and it needs to go. 5y

Scochrane26 @gingerantics I agree, although I don‘t think it started with America, just has continued in America. There shouldn‘t be a double standard. But, seriously, pre-wedding confirmation is gross & something that should have stopped happening many yrs ago. 5y

See All 7 Comments

GingerAntics @Scochrane26 that‘s an extreme that is far more common than most people imagine, but not part of the book. The book focuses on the current American obsession with virginity. It doesn‘t suggest it started here, it does point out that it‘s existed almost always in places men want to control women. It‘s focused here because it‘s pretty much the only place in the first world that is still treating virginity as a commodity, and the author is American. 5y

GingerAntics @Scochrane26 there are a lot of things to do with the way we treat human sexuality that should have stopped years ago. Infant genital mutilation, abstinence only miseducation, letting girls lies to keep them from having sex before it‘s “allowed,” men “giving away” their daughters (transferring property/finishing a business deal) at their weddings, etc, etc. We seriously need to stop treating children and females as property. 5y

Scochrane26 @GingerAntics Book sounds interesting. And yes, I agree. 5y

GingerAntics @Scochrane26 a really interesting thing I found out from the sample of this book was that “virginity” isn‘t even a medically recognised state. There is no medical definition of virginity. It‘s not even a real thing. It‘s nothing more than a state of mind, as it were. 5y

15 likes1 stack add7 comments

MatchlessMarie

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

#JulyTBR #ReadingResolutions

Jess7

Trashcanman The immortal life of Henrietta Lacks is amazing! 6y

MatchlessMarie @Trashcanman once upon a time last Summer I started it on overdrive for kindle and I went to finish it in June and my library doesn‘t have the kindle version anymore so I had to start over in the print book. Why am I like this. 😂🙃 6y

MrsReads1 I'll Be Gone In the Dark was *amazing!* I hope you like it! 🤓 6y

See All 6 Comments

Samplergal Henrietta Lacks is just the best. We are doing it at my book group in June. ❤️ 6y

CherryPie If you're interested in EAR/ONS, read Kat Winters book. I'll Be Gone in the Dark is about an amateur sleuth and posthumously compiled at that. 6y

MatchlessMarie @MrsReads1 I‘m a big investigation discovery addict so I was already familiar with Michelle McNamara‘s work from Crime to Remember. Been looking forward to it. Still can‘t believe she‘s gone. @CherryPie Thanks I added it to my TBR! 6y

74 likes6 comments

goktrose

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Hillary Clinton is helping me to highlight some of my favorite reads written by women authors, both fiction and nonfiction! Check them out and keep supporting the voices of amazing female authors! #thereadingwomen #readathon @thereadingwomen

MemoirsForMe Yes! 💪🏻🙋 7y

Readerann ❤️ 7y

9 likes2 comments

mrozzz

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Taking a cue from @MrBook and sharing my #bookndinner with a bonus #litsypenpal letter from @AThousandLives87 !!
Evenings in with good wine and a good book are always the best ones. 💜
@Litsypenpals

MrBook Mmm, nice!!! 😎🙌🏻 7y

42 likes1 stack add1 comment

mrozzz

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Excited for this one. Loved her more recent book Sex Object.

NatalieR Beautiful flowers! 🌼 7y

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks So pretty 🌸 7y

Notafraidofwords I really liked this one. Read it years ago! 7y

See All 6 Comments

mrozzz Thanks! @NatalieR @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks I'm always on the look out for good foliage to pair with good books 🤓 7y

mrozzz @Notafraidofwords awesome! I really like her writing so I'm pretty jazzed, but so engrossed in Final Girls right now... 7y

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks @mrozzz me too 😊🌸🌳 7y

40 likes2 stack adds6 comments

StephTKO

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

pick

Witty and insightful, Valenti makes a powerful and convincing argument for why the paternalistic concepts of purity and virginity hurt women and girls.

20 likes4 stack adds

StephTKO

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women | Jessica Valenti

Oh I love Jessica Valenti.

23 likes2 stack adds

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