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I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You about Parenting
I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You about Parenting | Karen Alpert
15 posts | 12 read | 14 to read
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper. "
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ItsAngel
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Y‘all, I can‘t even right now. My 4 year old unboxed the gift that I had for my match in the funko pop and book swap. (He was kind enough to replace it with the toy he got from a kids meal last night 🙄) He opened the pop and then hid it in his room. Plus side I get to keep this Deadpool which is my fave! Down side I have to buy another (different) pop for my match. Kids are total a-holes. 😂😂

TheKidUpstairs I loved that he replaced it with a happy meal toy 😂😂😂 6y
kstadt929 Oh no!! Makes me laugh though 🤣 6y
Chili 🤣🤣🤣 6y
See All 8 Comments
ItsAngel @TheKidUpstairs for real! After I got over the initial shock of it, I had to laugh and give credit. 😂😂 6y
ItsAngel @kstadt929 me too!! He must‘ve known how much I love Deadpool 😂😂 6y
wanderinglynn That‘s awesome! 😂😂😂 I really can‘t blame him for that. 😉 6y
ItsAngel @wanderinglynn me neither 😂😂 6y
tammysue 🤣😂😂 6y
54 likes8 comments
review
jdiehr
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Pickpick

I thought I'd check this out as I have my own blog with my own funny escapades as a nanny. It was an entertaining read. Now someone turn MY blog into a book! Ha, ha!

If you're at all interested my blog is "Please Tell Me You Don't Have A Nanny Cam!" I'd be honored if you checked it out ?

tracey38 Love the name of your bog! 6y
17 likes1 comment
review
JenlovesJT47
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Mehso-so

This was just okay. It had a few funny parts, but she seemed to be trying too hard. Also, you can tell the book is made up of several posts from her blog. As such it got a little repetitive. 2.5 ⭐️ rounded up to 3.

RadicalReader @JenlovesJT47 I absolutely adore humorous reads they‘re my favorites check out Old Ones Are The Best and a Seal Walks into a Club by Nick Harris (edited) 6y
71 likes1 comment
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JenlovesJT47
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😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

#parenting
#sotrue

vkois88 Hahahaha YES 6y
59 likes1 stack add1 comment
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britt_brooke
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The 4 year old lodged a baby Lego mini fig head UP HIS NOSE, so here we are. 👃🏻🏨

It‘s already out and he‘s totally fine. Now that I‘m no longer mad, I can‘t stop laughing.

#readeverywhere #momlife

saresmoore Wonders never cease. 😂 6y
vivastory 😂😂 6y
TheKidUpstairs I feel like the Lego up the nose is a mom right of passage we'll all go through at some point! 6y
See All 48 Comments
Jess7 Oh my! Glad he is ok! 6y
britt_brooke @saresmoore That‘s the truth! 😆 6y
britt_brooke @Jess7 Thanks - yes, thank goodness. He said it didn‘t hurt, but was uncomfortable. Too bad I couldn‘t get it out at home. Could‘ve bought several books with the money I just spent. 😆 6y
Foragingfantasy Omg! My little brother did the same thing! My dad had him close one side with his finger and exhale through his nose, it shot out. My mom was freaked! Luckily he didn‘t have it so wedged it required a dr visit. I‘m glad your guy is breathing free again. 6y
Dolly Fodder for future storytelling. "Remember that time ______ shoved a Lego up his nose?" 6y
julesG @Foragingfantasy If this doesn't work, cover the free nostril and basically do one burst of 'mouth to mouth'. This is how we managed to get a navy bean sized bead out of my daughter's nose. 6y
britt_brooke @Foragingfantasy @julesG We tried both of those methods, but no luck. Had it been a regular-sized mini fig head, it would‘ve popped right out, but it was from a lego baby and got really wedged in somehow. Fun times. 😆 6y
Aleida At least it‘s not up his butt. I have a friend who is an emergency room nurse and evidently this happens more often than you‘d think. 6y
britt_brooke @Aleida 😆😳 OMG. I would die. 6y
britt_brooke @Dolly Yes!! 😆 6y
tournevis It's amazing the things children (people) put up saundry orifices. 6y
riversong153 Oh no! 6y
Pamwurtzler Glad he‘s okay! Kids, I swear. 6y
SledgeReader @britt_brooke So glad it worked out positively. I‘m mourning the lost books now. 😂 6y
ofbooksandme You know when you look at the warnings and say "C'mon nobody is going to put that into their nose" and then...kids do. Hahaha. Glad she's OK. 6y
britt_brooke @Pamwurtzler He‘s a mess! 6y
britt_brooke @SledgeReader Me, too ... 😭📚 6y
britt_brooke @ofbooksandme Exactly! 😆 6y
knittedgnome Haha kids!! Glad he's ok! 6y
kspenmoll Kids love poking things in those noses & ears! Glad all is well ! 6y
minkyb As long as he is ok I will chuckle and shake my head! 6y
britt_brooke @knittedgnome @kspenmoll @minkyb 😆 He‘s fine, thank goodness. I can‘t help but laugh at the situation. 6y
sprainedbrain Been there, done that... not a head though. 😂 6y
JacqMac Been there, too. 😂 Except it was a popcorn kernel in his ear. 6y
Mollyanna I stuck a bead up my nose when I was about 3. I‘m several decades older and my mom brings it up ALL the time. She still thinks it‘s hilarious! Glad your little one is okay. ☺️ (edited) 6y
LeahBergen Nooo!! 😂😂😂 6y
arubabookwoman 35 years ago my oldest son, now 40, lodged a pea up his nose, and the doctor laughed and reassured us that these types of things are more common than you think. The things they don‘t tell you about parenthood🤷🏼‍♀️ 6y
britt_brooke @sprainedbrain @JacqMac Oh, no! 😆 That makes me feel better, though. 6y
britt_brooke @Mollyanna 😆 My husband said this will be a good story for future girlfriends. Parents are mean, lol! 6y
britt_brooke @arubabookwoman The doctor said the same. Makes me feel better! 6y
Amanda23 Glad he is okay. Sigh...kids... 6y
Leftcoastzen Seems like a rite of passage, glad everything is OK. 6y
sammisho Boys! Glad he is okay!! 6y
GripLitGrl Long as he's ok you can laugh at the silly things kids do😄😄 6y
CoffeeBooksRepeat Can‘t tell you how many times this has happened to us! Glad he‘s ok! 6y
britt_brooke @CoffeeBooksRepeat 😆 Seems like a weird rite of passage! 6y
dragondrool Glad he's okay. 6y
Reggie I have yet to thank two of my Tías, Olivia and Terry for picking stuck crayons outta my nose when I was kid. Why do we do it?!!!! Lol. Glad he‘s ok. 6y
britt_brooke @Reggie 😆😆😆 6y
Reviewsbylola That is 100% something my four year old would do too. Glad he‘s ok! 6y
britt_brooke @Reviewsbylola Thank you - it‘s been a crazy week. 😬 6y
167 likes48 comments
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britt_brooke
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Well, this backfired. 😆😍 In an effort to get a break from my exceptionally rowdy boys, I tossed them their tablets and some snacks and escaped, hoping to grab a bit of peaceful reading time (within earshot, of course).

#bookandbath #lush #momlife

PenguinInFlight This happens to my sister EVERY. TIME. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ Her little boys have been super rowdy, too. Her oldest is in Pre-K and is sooooo excited about graduation, and the little one is excited because the older one is excited. 6y
britt_brooke @PenguinInFlight 😆 I‘m happy it‘s not just me! My boys have soccer camp every morning this week and are so tired, they‘re slap-happy and just crazy. They are 6 and 4, but the same size, and go at it like WWE! 🤼‍♂️ 6y
saresmoore I feel your pain. I just. Sigh. 6y
See All 30 Comments
britt_brooke @saresmoore And to top it off, my husband has been traveling 8 of the last 10 days, so I‘m about to 🤯🤯🤯!! Thankfully, he‘s back this evening. 🙌🏻 6y
PenguinInFlight @britt_brooke hers are 4 and 3, soon to be 5 and 4, and they are also the same size. They are like little WWE wrestlers...I told her I would take them one night so she could regain some sanity. 6y
britt_brooke @PenguinInFlight You‘re a good sister! 💚👏🏻 6y
saresmoore Oh, geez. I swear they get worse when dad travels! You have my prayers and deepest empathy, friend. 6y
Blaire This reminds me of my home. The concept of privacy is totally foreign (mine are 6 and 3). 6y
britt_brooke @saresmoore Thank you! 😘 And, yes, it‘s absolutely true. 6y
TaylorMay 😂😂😂😂 that book choice 6y
emilyhaldi Why don‘t kids like being alone?!?! 😜 6y
britt_brooke @Blaire Once kids come, privacy is just totally out the door. It‘s hard when you need to introvert! 😆 6y
britt_brooke @TaylorMay 😆 I‘ve actually read it, too. 6y
britt_brooke @emilyhaldi OMG, I wish I knew!! 😬😆 6y
TaylorMay @britt_brooke double win! I hope that you enjoyed your "alone" time 6y
LeahBergen 😂😂 6y
minkyb Good thing they are so cute! 🤗 6y
CouronneDhiver Ha! Yep, I‘ve done that to my mum a time or two. 😂😂 6y
britt_brooke @minkyb It‘s a very good thing!! And, thank you. ☺️💚 6y
Cortg Awe, looking back,those were the good ole‘ days! I remember my daughter informed everyone at storytime that sometimes I locked myself in the bathroom with a book 😂 The librarian agreed with me. Enjoy it, they grow up way too fast! 6y
britt_brooke @Cortg It was actually very sweet. This is my 4 year old who is vey much a momma‘s boy. He first asked if he could touch the water, then if he could put his feet it. I drew the line when he asked if he could take off his pjs and get in. 😆 6y
Cortg I love it! 6y
Blaire Yes! The number of times I‘ve googled “introvert raising extroverts” or introverted parenting...😂😂😂. 6y
Reviewsbylola Omg totally been there. My kids are known to strip off their clothes and run in when they know I‘m in the bath. 🙈🙈 6y
Reviewsbylola Did you use another bath bomb?! 6y
Reviewsbylola My kids are 5&4 and CONSTANTLY tell me they need privacy. Of course they never return the favor. 😆🙄 @Blaire (edited) 6y
britt_brooke @Reviewsbylola Kids have no shame, lol! Yes, I‘m completely addicted to Lush now. I blame you! 😆😘 6y
Reviewsbylola Lush is addictive. 😂🤣 6y
111 likes30 comments
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britt_brooke
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1. Hubby and I are headed to Austin for the weekend! 💑✈️🍺📚 #ATX

2. School‘s out, so I have 2 little guys at home instead of one. I forgot how challenging this is! 😆

3. Paris and New Orleans

4. They both kind of creep me out, tbh.

5. 85F and humid

#friyayintro @jesshowbooks

Julsmarshall Welcome to Austin! Make sure to check out BookPeople 😄 6y
Cinfhen Austen is meant to be soooo fun!! Enjoy ❤️ 6y
britt_brooke @Julsmarshall Thanks!! BookPeople is high on the priority list! 6y
See All 6 Comments
britt_brooke @Cinfhen We visited once about 15 years ago and loved it, so we‘re curious to see how awesome it is now! 6y
Sharpeipup ❤️ Austin! Be sure to have some BBQ ... 6y
britt_brooke @Sharpeipup Oh yes, we love some BBQ!! 6y
89 likes6 comments
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morgan_krahn
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Starting this one on my phone since I left my current read behind! Hope it‘s as funny as it sounds! 😂

69 likes1 stack add1 comment
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MatchlessMarie
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I sense that this trio will go well together. 😜
#wackywednesday #spookyoctober

Mommamanzi Haha I love it! 7y
30 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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britt_brooke
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They don't rule THE world, but they rule MY world and I'm completely okay with that! 💙💙 #RuletheWorld #JuneTunz

batsy Too cute! 💜 7y
KarenUK Adorable 👍💕 7y
shanebeth the title 😂❤️ 7y
See All 15 Comments
LauraBeth 😂😂❤️ 7y
Cinfhen OMG! I ❤️EVERYTHING about this post , including the book tagged💙💙too cute!!! 7y
RealBooks4ever Those two are never not adorable! 💜 7y
Reviewsbylola 😂😂😍😍 7y
Bostonmomx2 They are absolutely adorable!!! 7y
vivastory 😂 the tagged book is too funny 7y
britt_brooke @batsy @KarenUK @LauraBeth @shanebeth @RealBooks4ever @Reviewsbylola @Bostonmomx2 Thanks!! ☺️☺️☺️ And I've actually read the book. It's pretty funny! 7y
britt_brooke @Cinfhen Thank you!! ☺️💚 7y
britt_brooke @vivastory Love the title, haha .... and it's a pretty funny book. 😆 7y
Bostonmomx2 @britt_brooke cute kids and a boston? What more could you possibly need 😂😂 7y
britt_brooke @Bostonmomx2 I'm a lucky lady!! And hubby isn't too shabby either. 😍 7y
LeahBergen ❤️❤️❤️ 7y
144 likes15 comments
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britt_brooke
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Mere moments before we left our cute little used book shop with both boys in full-out meltdown mode. I played the part of crazy, overwhelmed mom embarrassingly well. It was NOT awesome, but at least I still managed to sell the books I brought in + buy a couple. #raisingreaders #littlelittens

Kris10 Love this! 8y
LeahBergen I don't believe you - just look at how sweet they are. 😉 8y
See All 17 Comments
Foragingfantasy I can totally relate to this... They only last so long before they are sneaking around the stacks and haunting your steps, asking if it's time to go yet! 8y
DocBrown You want to keep them occupied a while? Take them to a library with moving bookshelves! That was my oldest son's favorite place to visit when he was little and daddy had to study. 8y
britt_brooke @Foragingfantasy Exactly! I should know better. 😁 8y
britt_brooke @mdhughes72 Woah, that sounds cool! 8y
Lmstraubie Your choice of a book title 😂😂😂 8y
Mommamanzi Oh man, we had a full on throw yourself on the floor and scream like someone is boiling you alive meltdown at target the other day. Worst, most embarrassing thing a mom can go through. I'm sorry!!! At least you got this super cute shot! (edited) 8y
britt_brooke @Lmstraubie 😆 And I've actually read the book, too! 8y
britt_brooke @Mommamanzi It's so tough when they have those moments in public. It makes you feel like the worst parent ever. 8y
tpixie @britt_brooke @Mommamanzi us older moms' hearts reach out to you when that happens- we've been there 8y
britt_brooke @tpixie 💚💚 8y
tpixie And that is an absolutely precious photo! 8y
britt_brooke @tpixie Thank you. ☺️☺️☺️ 8y
141 likes17 comments
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britt_brooke
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When you have toddlers, but you're also trying to adult (sort of). Is it bedtime yet?? 🙃

saresmoore Bahahaha! This is perfect. 8y
britt_brooke @saresmoore 😁 ...... I need a refill! 8y
LaurenAsh I'd know that scary IKEA rabbit finger puppet anywhere! 😂 8y
See All 15 Comments
britt_brooke @LaurenAsh Bahahaha! It IS terrifying. 8y
readinginthedark Right? Playing games of memory match between baking cookies and wrapping presents... 8y
LindsayReads 😂😂😂😂 THIS TITLE. I need to gift this to every parent friend of mine! 8y
katedensen Cheers! 8y
britt_brooke @LindsayReads It's a pretty funny book! 👍🏻 8y
britt_brooke @readinginthedark Exactly! Multitasking at its best. 😁 8y
vivastory @britt_brooke I'm feeling pretty awesome after a kickass dinner & couple glasses of wine. Cheers! 8y
LeahBergen 😂😂 8y
britt_brooke @vivastory Cheers!! 🥂 8y
kspenmoll Love your photo! Keeping blending your worlds!!!! 8y
britt_brooke @kspenmoll ☺💕💕💕 8y
146 likes3 stack adds15 comments
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BookofWords
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It's called immunizations. Not a joke, but then again I'm a nurse practitioner. This is like reading her posts but somehow not funny.

BookFreakOut My dad's a doctor, and I totally get what you're saying. Making light of immunizations detracts from how important they are. Also, don't know how you feel but "cute outfit" isn't how I would describe scrubs! ? Cute fabric print maybe, but definitely function over style! Nurses rock, go you! 8y
BookofWords @BookFreakOut It just irked me. It's like I can make fun of my little brother but Lord help the one that makes fun of him! And I'm rolling my eyes at the "cute outfits" comments. 8y
BookofWords @BookFreakOut I do tell people that complain "yes I became a nurse so I could wear pajamas to work and stick people with needles." 8y
9 likes3 comments
review
sunshineuphoria
Pickpick

Funniest book I've ever read. She put words (vulgarity actually) to most of the thoughts I've had as a parent and a bunch I haven't had but totally understand. Highly recommend (especially the audiobook).

1 like1 stack add
review
lcarter3489
Pickpick

I LOVED this book! It was hilarious and SPOT ON! It was as if I were writing the book myself 😂

6 likes1 stack add