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Youre Not Listening
Youre Not Listening: What Youre Missing and Why It Matters | Kate Murphy
30 posts | 19 read | 35 to read
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever As a society, weve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively even to those we love most. Weve become scared of other peoples points of view, and of silence. Yet now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times journalist Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others. Listening is about curiosity and patience about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. It may take effort, but it is a skill that can be learnt. When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.
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Sharpeipup
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Linguists and lexicographers estimate that English has about a million words and is expanding all the time.

36 likes1 stack add
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Deblovestoread
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#JulyJourneys #ListeningDay

My current audio books is Silence. Next up will be MaddAddam for #14books14weeks.

Eggs I love audiobooks too❤️👂🏻👏🏻 3y
42 likes1 comment
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Mrs_B
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Pickpick

I loved this audiobook so much I ordered a print copy. Soooo many good quotes and it‘s really made me think about the conversations and interactions I‘m having. I‘m hoping it helps me be a better wife and friend. Can highly recommend!

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TheDaysGoBy
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Pickpick

Listened to this on audio to fulfill the #nonfictionscience prompt for #booked2021

It was good! I usually think of myself as a good listener but I feel there are things I can probably work on. I found it interesting and provided some tips on how to become a better listener

@Cinfhen @4thhouseontheleft @BarbaraTheBibliophage

BarbaraTheBibliophage I quite loved this book! 4y
Cinfhen I probably could benefit from this one, too! Because I DO think I‘m a good listener but maybe I need to discover more 🧡Thanks for sharing 4y
38 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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MarshmallowAdventures

“Listening goes beyond just hearing what people say. It‘s also paying attention to how they say it and what they do while they are saying it, in what context, and how what they say resonates with you. It‘s not simply about holding your peace while someone else holds forth. Quite the opposite.”

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thebluestocking
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Pickpick

I wanted a bit more practical application, but I thoroughly enjoyed this look at how most of us have not honed the skill of listening.

P.S. There‘s a good Literary Disco episode on this one!

Ruthiella OMG I totally thought of the Literary Disco episode when I saw this title. How Rider and Tod were falling over themselves to show how they are such great listeners and Julia pretty much cut them off at their knees...🤨 4y
thebluestocking @Ruthiella 😂I just love listening to those three!! 💙 4y
Ruthiella @thebluestocking Tod strains my patience but once he shuts up about all things “Tod”, the conversations are usually pretty great. I‘m really enjoying their Middlemarch read-along right now. 4y
thebluestocking @Ruthiella I agree about Tod. He adds a lot when he focuses. I am really enjoying The Middlemarch episodes too. Are you reading along? I‘m not, but I love their discussions. I also just found a new bookish podcast I‘m enjoying, Novel Pairings. 💙 4y
Ruthiella @thebluestocking I read Middlemarch a few years ago. - I remember enough to follow the conversation luckily! 😀 I‘ll check out Novel Pairings! Thanks! 4y
49 likes5 comments
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rabbitprincess
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Converting a few of my physical holds to electronic holds as the library prepares to reopen, and I had to laugh at how Libby renders dates in French. « Réservé le aujourd‘hui » ??? @tournevis

tournevis Ayoye! Ça fait mal! 5y
23 likes1 comment
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thebluestocking
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Not a bad reading month all things considered. All of these were interesting.

#maywrapup

AkashaVampie Anything good in the teen one??? I've got a 14 yr old... haha 5y
thebluestocking @AkashaVampie Yeah. Definitely. It‘s short but has some good communication tips. 5y
AkashaVampie @thebluestocking thanks. I will have to check it out 5y
54 likes3 comments
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SheReadsAndWrites
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Pickpick

This is a fantastic read! So much great information and I love how the author did her research rather than just saying what it means to be a bad listener. Based on research she gives tips and advice for becoming a better listener.

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SheReadsAndWrites
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Pretty excited about this one.... Hoping to learn how to be a better listener. 😊

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Daisey
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Pickpick

This was an interesting collection of research and anecdotes about the importance of listening, as well as recommendations for better listening. I can‘t say I was surprised by much of it, but it was a great reminder of many things I know as well as several interesting facts and new suggestions for improved listening.

* Received through the #Librofm #ALC program.
Narrated by author with duration of 6 hours and 31 minutes.

#nonfiction #audiobook

Daisey I did feel a bit guilty listening to the part about not truly being able to listen well and multi-task while doing exact that. 🤷‍♀️
Also, I can‘t remember where I first learned about the Libro.fm ALC program for educators and librarians, but if someone here shared it, I‘m grateful!
5y
50 likes1 comment
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Angeles
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Pickpick

One of the few non fiction self-help books I like. She doesn‘t go on with simplistic “ten ways to listen better “ or similar stuff. She just lays down well thought arguments on why listening is important and describes what some of the great listeners she has interviewed do. Excellent and inspiring

Nute Just came across this book on my Kindle yesterday. Tagged it for WishList! 5y
7 likes1 comment
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SW-T
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Pickpick

Wow.

Read it.

Highly recommend.

Daisey I just started this on audio today, and I‘m interested so far. 5y
35 likes1 comment
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NerdyRev
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One of my goals this year is self improvement and a book which has just hit that nerve is this one. I‘ve begun recommending it to my colleagues and friends. I highly recommend it. What book has helped change you for the better?

17 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Christine
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Pickpick

Hard to think of a topic more important - to relationships, learning, politics, work, health, social change, and just everyday living - than listening. I appreciated the many perspectives and references to research included in this book. Mostly, I‘m grateful for the reminder of how deeply impactful conscious, engaged listening can be.

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Angeles

I don't normally do this but if anyone is interested in the new kate Murphy book " you are not listening" you should go to Downpour.com because i just bought the audiobook for 3.99$ (it is 15$ at google and google i find has often the chapest prices for audiobooks)

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Alora
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Today has been an amazing day!
I applied to be on discovery channel‘s Naked and Afraid a few weeks ago...
Today I got asked to proceed with the casting auditions! 😭😍

Then I came home to my first official ARC from Celadon Books!
I am VERY excited to read this book! This book speaks to my soul...
Especially going into the career I am..this will be very informative!

#ARC #ARCS #CeladonBooks #BookReview #Listening2020

TheSpineView Congrats on making it to casting. Let us know how it goes and good luck! 🤞 5y
Alora @TheSpineView Thank you so much! I still have some doubts about doing it but we‘ll see! Lol 5y
coffees Congrats!! 😄😄😄 5y
See All 14 Comments
TheAromaofBooks Oh wow that's exciting stuff!! 5y
NeedsMoreBooks Congratulations 🎉 5y
Butterfinger Wow! Is "Break a leg!" appropriate? 5y
Alora Hahaha @Butterfinger definitely not! 😭😂 That would be terrible lmao 5y
Butterfinger @Alora I am so sorry. I saw casting, not the name of the show. Very stupid of me. I was in theatre and my mind went there before I noticed it was an intense reality show. Please forgive me. 5y
Alora @Butterfinger Lol no worries at all! That was funny lol considering its a survival show haha 😂 5y
Butterfinger @Alora fingers are crossed. I hope you get it so I can say I sorta know her. 😃😜 5y
Geenie 🤩🥳 5y
Nute That‘s really exciting! I always thought that it would be cool to do The Amazing Race and maybe Survivor. I‘m already pulling for you!👍🏽 5y
Alora @Nute thank you! Both of them would be awesome to do! I love survivor 5y
49 likes14 comments
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Romancegirl
Pickpick

This was an engaging and insightful book. Kate Murphy does an excellent job of pointing out one's flaws in how you listen, in a way that doesn't make you feel like a terrible person, and then shows you how to do it better. She also did some major research for this book, talking to many professionals in various fields of communication including, a retired CIA Agent. Overall an enjoyable and well written book.
#Listening2020 #CeladonReads

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coffees
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My first #arc from #bookishfirst is here!! It's just in time for #NFNov 💦💦 #nonfiction #listening

Signup on bookishfirst.com and use my referral code to get 100pts towards a free book: 02c819d0c94cc1df0!

nelehelen I just signed up using your code!! ♥️♥️♥️ 5y
coffees @nelehelen omg tysm!!! 😭 i hope you enjoy it, it's so easy to score some free books 😎😉 💖 5y
15 likes2 comments
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Pickpick

Thrilled I got to read this ahead of its 1/2020 release. Make listening better your New Year‘s resolution—I know this book has inspired me to do it. I learned a ton, and the author kept me engaged by balancing research, interviews, and analysis. Her experts contributed great stories too. For your own sake, give it a go!

Full review http://www.TheBibliophage.com
#thebibliophage2019
#listening2020 #NFNov

BarbaraTheBibliophage #TIL That the average attention span of a goldfish is longer than the average attention span of a human. (Per a study from Microsoft) 5y
BarbaraTheBibliophage #TIL That listening to opposing opinions activates the amygdala in your brain. That‘s your “fight or flight” instinct. No wonder it makes our hearts pound to have those contentious conversations! 5y
rsteve388 Wow a gold fish has a better attention span then me... That's just sad. 5y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @rsteve388 It is shocking, right? 5y
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sharread
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Pickpick

This educational book offers a unique perspective about listening. I can understand now the techniques implemented by successful consultants and sales people. Excellent references and interviews make this book ligament. Definitely a must read for learning to deeply understand the human connection.

#MrBook1inaMillion
#24B4Monday
#litsypartyofone

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coffees
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OMG!!! I can't believe it yes!! Come to this hungry bookworm 😍😍 Don't know how long shipping will be but I think I'll have it in time for #nfnov

@Clwojick @rsteve388

Clwojick woohoooo! 1pt. 5y
coffees @Clwojick since it looks like you're counting points rn, I think two of my posts were missed, they didn't get the x-pt comment 👀💦💦 during my lesson planning #til quotes 5y
Clwojick I think i got them now. If not - Please tag me in the post again. We swapped off for point tracking, and i want to make sure none were lost in the mix. Don't worry about any of the posts you made after this one. I'm working my way to the most recent now, but I only sit and track the points about once or twice a day. 5y
5 likes3 comments
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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#NFNov #TIL

Did you know that speakers give worse talks when their listeners don‘t listen? It‘s been studied. And having inattentive listeners means that a speaker will be less articulate and even remember less of the information they meant to convey.

Fascinating!

Kaylamburson That's so fascinating! I do find myself caring less or just trailing off if I can tell someone isn't listening. 5y
Texreader I do tons of public speaking. That sounds so true. 5y
alisiakae That feels true to me. If I‘m giving a presentation, and I notice people not paying attention, I struggle with staying focused because internally I‘m freaking out. 5y
rsteve388 4 pts 5y
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mlmopinions1
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Pickpick

I had the pleasure of receiving this book from Celadon Books uh n exchange for an honest review. This book was everything I never knew I needed. My conversations and relationships have improved a tad, just from me applying what I learned from this book. This book discusses how one can speak and listen with the intent to understand. I highly recommend this book. Check out my blog, link in bio.

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coffees
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I'm excited for my 1st free book on BookishFirst! On this site, you read #excerpts and leave first impressions + reviews, you enter raffles, and gain points to redeem for free books. This was my first read on there

If anyone decides to sign up, consider using my code to get 100 extra points during sign up: 02c819d0c94cc1df0 (pls and ty!!) #nonfiction

This was an interesting book so far #listening
https://www.bookishfirst.com/users/readatnight00

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rather_be_reading
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More bookmail from Celadon books! Anyone else's husband not listen 🤣 #celadon #partner #celaronreads #yourenotlistening

TheLibrarian 🙋🏼‍♀️ Yes!! 5y
rather_be_reading @Come-read-with-me thank goodness im nt the only one! 5y
sharread Perfect picture! 🤣 5y
62 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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lovelybookshelf
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Fascinating #bookmail from Celadon Books. Looking forward to this one! #nonfiction #socialscience #communication #listeningskills

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Pattyisbooked
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Cannot wait to start this! Thanks #celadonbooks !

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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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I signed up for Celadon‘s ARC copies several months ago. So it was a big surprise to receive this January 2020 release today. Yay!

#celadonreads #listening2020 #bookmail

Prairiegirl_reading Sounds so interesting!! 5y
Sace Stacked! 5y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Prairiegirl_reading @Sace I‘m as intrigued as you are! 5y
See All 6 Comments
Sace I'm so intrigued that I pre-ordered it! 5y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @Sace Wow!! I hope it lives up to the blurbs. 5y
Sace Ha! Me too. 🤣 5y
100 likes6 comments