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Boy Erased
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
A beautiful, raw and compassionate memoir about identity, love and understanding. The son of a Baptist pastor and deeply embedded in church life in small town Arkansas, as a young man Garrard Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality. When Garrard was a nineteen-year-old college student, he was outed to his parents, and was forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church-supported conversion therapy program that promised to cure him of homosexuality; or risk losing family, friends, and the God he had prayed to every day of his life. Through an institutionalized Twelve-Step Program heavy on Bible study, he was supposed to emerge heterosexual, ex-gay, cleansed of impure urges and stronger in his faith in God for his brush with sin. Instead, even when faced with a harrowing and brutal journey, Garrard found the strength and understanding to break out in search of his true self and forgiveness. By confronting his buried past and the burden of a life lived in shadow, Garrard traces the complex relationships among family, faith, and community. At times heart-breaking, at times triumphant, this memoir is a testament to love that survives despite all odds. From the Hardcover edition.
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JenFowler
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Pickpick

I add books all the time to my wishlist on Overdrive. By the time they become available usually I have forgotten why I added it, or what it was even about.
That was the case of this book!
I did like it. I haven't yet watched the movie - but from the trailers Nicole Kidman looks as though she did great in her role has Gerrard's mother.
Everyone has a story. What Garrard has had to go through to become the man he is today is staggering. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Stacypatrice I recently watched this movie. It‘s hard on the heart but important ❤️ 4mo
JenFowler @Stacypatrice I have heard with this one it is almost better to watch the movie first before reading the book. Have you read it yet or just watched the movie? 4mo
Stacypatrice I only watched the movie so far. I had free HBO for a weekend and DVR-Ed it 😂 4mo
71 likes3 comments
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TrishB
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Bailedbailed

I knew I wouldn‘t like the subject matter, but I don‘t like the writing either! Just not engaging me. May come back to it....or not.

MicheleinPhilly This was NOT an easy one. 4mo
TrishB @MicheleinPhilly I sort of expected the content to be hard, but the writing didn‘t help at all and just seemed to make it more of a struggle. 4mo
JennyM I am with you on this. I really didn‘t enjoy the book because of the writing. I wasn‘t engaged at all. 4mo
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Cathythoughts I‘ve never heard of this one. The writing doesn‘t sound so good here..... 4mo
TrishB @JennyM @Cathythoughts I definitely wouldn‘t recommend because of the writing. 4mo
Cathythoughts Trish, I hope the book I sent to you on Monday will get to you soon 🤞🏻 4mo
TrishB @Cathythoughts I have a parcel to collect from the PO that I‘ll go for tomorrow- they shut at 1pm so I haven‘t chance in the week. I‘ll let you know 😘 4mo
72 likes7 comments
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WorldsOkayestStepMom
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

I wish I hadn't seen the movie before reading the book. I think I would have enjoyed the book more, felt more emotion while reading it, had I waited on the movie. Regardless of my reading preferences, my heart broke for Garrard and his experiences.

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Jennick2004
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
Pickpick

This was a really interesting look into the reality of religion versus sexuality. I wish he could have a happier ending; it will be interesting to see if he writes more.

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Jennick2004
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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The only time I can read with this little guy around is when he‘s napping!! Guess I better get to it!
#MackAttack #dogsoflitsy

AlaMich Puppy!!🐶❤️ 7mo
Crazeedi Sweet doggy!🐶❣ 7mo
wanderinglynn What a cutie! ❤️🐶 7mo
33 likes3 comments
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Jennick2004
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Oh my goodness @AmyG what a box!! Thank you so much for everything 💜 Can‘t wait to start reading the books, and the treats are perfect!!

@BookishMarginalia #summersantagoespostal

monalyisha Sing, Unburied, Sing was *so* good! 🧡 7mo
AmyG I‘m happy you like everything! 7mo
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Sing!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 7mo
See All 6 Comments
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks No Exit is sooo good!!!! 7mo
Bklover Great stuff! 7mo
CouronneDhiver 🙌🏽🙌🏽 7mo
51 likes6 comments
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BarbaraJean
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

This was my book club‘s February pick, and it yielded a great discussion. It‘s a powerful coming out memoir, dealing with themes of spiritual abuse, shame/guilt, and loss of faith. Conley‘s story is heartbreaking, and SO many times I wanted to shout at the people running the misguided & cruel conversion “therapy” he was subjected to. His faith was stolen from him due to “Christians” completely misrepresenting who God is. Continued... ⤵️

BarbaraJean However, the writing felt rough. The nonlinear narrative needed more careful editing & time cues to help orient the reader. Many passages felt like the writer was trying too hard, or hiding behind oblique references & efforts to be poetic. I hate criticizing memoirs—it‘s the writer‘s story to tell, to their own comfort level, especially when dealing with difficult personal content. But this would‘ve been more effective if written more directly. 11mo
StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego Agreed. The content was important, but the timeline was offputting. 11mo
saresmoore Very insightful review! 11mo
BarbaraJean @saresmoore Thank you! ☺️ @StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego Right?! It was hard to get at what was being shared, and what was being shared was so important. 11mo
41 likes4 comments
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DavidDiamond
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Panpan

The back & forth jumps in the timeline were erratic & confusing ("Is he in college now or at LIA...oh wait, he's washing cars at his dad's lot.")...characters were indistinguishable..."Who is J again? Who is T? Who is S...oh yeah, peanut butter girl."
He was at LIA for 8 days, and only a small portion of the book is devoted to that time. The rest of the book felt overstuffed with angsty thoughts & flowery prose that called attention to itself.

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MicheleinPhilly
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

This was very well-written and insightful but there was a HUGE disconnect for me with all of the religiosity. I probably should have been prepared given that he‘s the son of a pastor and the whole notion of “ex-gay therapy” is steeped in certain religious beliefs but I found it overwhelming. Also, I personally think “ex-gay therapy” is a crock of horse 💩so I feel like I went into it with a chip on my shoulder...👇🏼

MicheleinPhilly Overall I‘m glad that I read this and I hope that Mr. Conley is living the life he loves and loving the life he lives. 3🌟 11mo
TrishB I nearly picked this up in the shop the other day, but thought I would get really annoyed with the religious stuff. I‘ll wait for a kindle offer I think. 11mo
AmyG I found this a few weeks ago at a used book sale. Thanks for thr heads up. I, too, feel that kind if therapy is utter nonsense. And I am not religious. So....I guess I shall see. 11mo
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saresmoore My dad (raised in an uber-conservative Christian home, came out & separated from my mom after 25 years of marriage) is working his way through this book and finding it to be very cathartic. I want to read it simply because it‘s resonating so deeply with him, but I think it‘ll be hard to stomach. 11mo
MicheleinPhilly @saresmoore Oh that‘s fascinating. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools but discarded it decades ago. I guess it didn‘t resonate as strongly with me because religion didn‘t factor in to my coming to terms with being gay/coming out at all. But I think it would be very interesting to read this and compare notes with your dad. ❤️ 11mo
MicheleinPhilly @TrishB That was part of the reason why I had to keep putting it down. That and just the whole “the sky is falling” mentality of his parents. I have VERY little patience for parents that share their mindset. I guess I‘m intolerant. 🤭 11mo
MicheleinPhilly @AmyG Once again my ridiculous obsession with reading a book before I see the movie forced my hand! 11mo
TrishB The movie thing was pushing my hand too as my kids want to go and see the film (if I go I pay!) but I want to read the book first. I‘m guessing your intolerance is more to do with other people‘s.... 11mo
TrishB @saresmoore for your Dad it must be good to read something that resonates so strongly, I can see why you would want to read. 11mo
8little_paws I have a friend who was sent to conversion therapy by his family. He's estranged from a bunch of his relatives now. He's got some real weird views on faith that's for sure. 11mo
HippieChickHomeschool This was such a hard read, but I thought it was so well done. I was really able to see the humanity of the parents, which I appreciated, rather than painting them as evil nut jobs. @saresmoore I think you‘ll be able to stomach it, even though it‘s not a fun read. 11mo
MicheleinPhilly @HippieChickHomeschool That dinner that he had with his mom towards the end made me 😢. And then when he called her to “save” him. Ugh. The whole thing was just a gut punch. 11mo
Reggie @saresmoore I‘m sorry to hear that about your dad. I was raised Catholic, confirmed and everything, and when I came out to myself, it took a long time to get over thinking I was going to hell. I wish him peace. And your mother as well. 11mo
78 likes1 stack add13 comments
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NenaB
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
Mehso-so

Well to be honest I found this book to be sad...I did not agree with what the boy went through it was heartbreaking and harsh and for what? I don‘t want to spoil it for anyone. The book was well written but I did not agree with what went on. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

MicheleinPhilly I‘m reading this now and it is very difficult to get through. I just keep wanting to shake the parents like “He‘s gay, he‘s not a serial killer. Calm down.” 11mo
NenaB Exactly! He was born that way..you can‘t change him..the parents I mean there were gays way back in history why were the parents not accepting? Poor kid! 11mo
6 likes2 comments
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NenaB
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Finished Once Upon A River by Diane Setterfield. It was such a magical story full of characters and romance and overall great storytelling. So magical it reminded me of Like Water for Chocolate or House of Spirits. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. My next book is Boy Erased..the movie is coming out soon with Nicole Kidman!

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MicheleinPhilly
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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This one is getting read in dribs and drabs because it is heart-wrenching. But I thought this morning‘s sun said it best: Denying your authentic self for any reason is a prison.

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Cool pic!! 11mo
LauraBeth This sound like such a heart-breaking book. 💔 11mo
TrishB That statement is so true. This sounds like an awesome read. 11mo
79 likes1 stack add3 comments
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StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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A memoir about the author being outed to his family, and subsequent time in conversion therapy, ie "pray the gay away therapy". Its awful & sad that this "treatment" still exists.

GingerAntics It‘s sad when you hear guys talk about being so happy they were sent to those camps and how happy they are to be married with children and “praise god.” 🙄 It‘s heartbreaking. I can‘t imagine what life is really like for those guys. 12mo
StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego @GingerAntics it's a heartbreaking situation. I wish no one ever had/has to go through this kind of thing. 12mo
GingerAntics I completely agree with you. Then again, the priest I grew up with went on sabbatical for about 3 months. Later found out he was sent away to the holy land to decide between the priesthood or his (totally legal) girlfriend. After “wha?” my first thought was, I hope his decision wasn‘t based on fear. I can‘t imagine the fear these poor kids/teens go through. I want to hug them all and tell them they are loved for themselves. 12mo
ReadingEnvy One of my student workers was sent to conversion therapy. I told him he should sue his family. 12mo
StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego @ReadingEnvy It's just so awful & traumatizing. 12mo
123 likes11 stack adds5 comments
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candlewax
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

It has heart. Hopefully the movie also lives up to my expectations.

#gay #gayreads #nonfiction #religious #nonfiction #truestory

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Samplergal
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

I would give the book 3 ⭐️. The format of flipping back and forth kept me confused. It would have been better, imho , to be told linearly. Beyond that, Religion will kill us all. You can quote me on that one. #praythegayaway #sickreligiouszealots

Melismatic This sounds like a true tear jerker. 1y
AmyG The premise if this is just awful. I agree about religion...or maybe most of them. 1y
Samplergal @Melismatic it‘s not. I found myself being angry, but I feel much of organized religion these days doesn‘t do what it was originally thought to do. 1y
110 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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Samplergal
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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I am about halfway through and this “pray the gay” away stuff is just creepy. I feel so sorry for these people, with religion being shoved down their throats. What a horrible bunch of “Christians “. #disgusting #goodbook #wrong

CarolynM Did you know there's a movie just out based on this book? Not sure if I want to see it. 1y
Samplergal Yes and I do want to see it. I just like to read the book first. 1y
86 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Samplergal
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Starting this as I want to see the movie. But, book first.

StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego I asked for this one for Christmas, for the same reason. 1y
CaitlinR A heartbreaking, incredible read! 1y
80 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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AllenTStClair
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We were going to see the movies...but decided we wanted to read the books first. 😁

76 likes2 stack adds
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Mem_ugh
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

I needed to read the book before I could watch the movie, and I‘m glad I did.

StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego I need to get this book still. I'm so intrigued & I'm certain it will be eye opening & heartbreaking. 1y
19 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Mem_ugh
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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I am going to finish this book, it‘s really good I‘ve just been too damn busy!! I‘m infuriated and sad that the reality is that so many people have been sent to conversion therapy to “fix” something that doesn‘t need fixing, and that some people honestly think that you can just pray away the gay.

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Busha1984
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

⭐⭐⭐✨
I'm sad to say that this wasn't quite what I thought it was going to be. It was very long and a lot of what was written, to me, didn't seem very relevant to the story. I also did not enjoy how it jumped around in time because the transitions weren't very smooth. A bit of a let down.

Cinfhen I borrowed this from the library and returned it pretty much unread...the writing did not pull me in either 😔 1y
elisebarker Totally agree with this!! There was so much anger in the book too.. he said he was over all of it, but it didn‘t seem that way. 1y
Busha1984 @Cinfhen @elisebarker I was so disappointed especially since they're making it into a movie 1y
27 likes3 comments
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Alicia
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

This book was such a punch to my soul. A heart breaking story of loving yourself and your family, and when those two are at total odds. Conley‘s experiences are horrifying and incredibly sad. Conley comes from a part of the US I do not know a lot about, and it was both fascinating and incredibly depressing to hear about his upbringing. Despite its intense subject matter I would definitely recommend this book.

MicheleinPhilly I need to read this before the movie comes out. 1y
64 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Loralie
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
Pickpick

Wow. Such a beautifully written book about a heartbreakingly painful topic. It‘s amazing.

No_One Oh wow, yes it does sound like a tough read. And it sounds like something I want to read. 1y
Loralie It has sections that are very tough to read, but it is written so well. 1y
5 likes1 stack add2 comments
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kate_reads
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

I wanted to read this book before the movie came out and I have complete faith that Lucas Hedges is going to give a heartbreaking performance.

We have to be better than this. Conversion/ex-gay therapy needs to be a thing of the past— it should have never even been a thing at all.

JamieArc My husband works as an organizer for LGBTQ+ rights and it is crazy to me that he has to lobby/organize to get bills passed to ban conversion therapy. That it‘s not a thing of the past. 1y
23 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Megabooks
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

This book was hard to read. The things that are done to young men and women in the name of a supposedly loving God are just ridiculous. My heart goes out to each person. I feel very happy that my home church has been accepting openly gay members at least as long as I‘ve been alive. Just the amount of self loathing and mind twisting the author experienced is heartbreaking. 4⭐️ #nonfiction2018

104 likes10 stack adds
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Megabooks
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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I came in from a 10 hour drive to two new library books on #Overdrive 🎉📚🎊 Now if I can keep my eyes open, I may start this one. 😉😴😴😴

82 likes1 stack add
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CoffeeK8
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

A heartbreaking and unflinchingly honest look at ex-gay “therapy” and the toll it took on the author when he was forced to attend by his parents. #audiowalk

56 likes2 stack adds
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CoffeeK8
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Beautiful weather for an #audiowalk

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Elle_Skeldon
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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1) Summer reading kick off at work! 📷
2) Coffee ☕️
3) Heartbreaking Ex-Gay Therapy 🌈
4) Fabric 🍊
5) 5‘6” on a good day! 📏

#HumpDayPost

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WanderingBookaneer
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I remember being appalled that these gay conversion groups existed. I remember looking at pictures of “heterosexual” couples who had successfully converted and judging them. Even through that two-dimensional medium my gaydar went off. I remember the scandal that followed. ⬇️

WanderingBookaneer Fast forward more than a decade later and I weep as I read this firsthand account of the psychological and spiritual horrors faced by the author—and shared by so many others. ⬇️ 2y
WanderingBookaneer I read this days after Jeff Sessions and Sarah Huckabee Sanders used the Bible to justify separating immigrant children from their parents and I can‘t help but reflect on all the unconscionable actions perpetrated because of religious ideology that have occurred throughout history. 2y
Weaponxgirl Gay conversion therapy is just pure evil as far as I'm concerned and targeting often very vulnerable people for something that they have no control over and shouldn't feel ashamed about anyway. This sounds like a powerful read. 2y
RidgewayGirl I agree with you whole-heartedly. 2y
84 likes9 stack adds4 comments
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Itchyfeetreader
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Pickpick

This memoir is about much more than the authors experience of conversion therapy. It is also a heartbreaking insight into the fear and confusion of a young gay man growing up in a very religious Southern Baptist family. At times the story is disjointed and language unnecessarily flowery but I found it insightful, moving and honest. The manipulation of his ‘therapists‘ and the longer term consequences had me livid.

Itchyfeetreader I also had a reading buddy this afternoon 🐶 2y
StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego Oh I want to read this one. There is a movie coming out soon too. 2y
Kaye Just checking in. How are you doing ? What‘s your pup‘s name ? He‘s very cute. 2y
Itchyfeetreader @Kaye not too bad thanks, a weekend away and some nicer weather has done wonders for the soul! Not my dog unfortunately he is my friends but always open to sit and nap with a reader! His freckles are super cute! (edited) 2y
35 likes1 stack add4 comments
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hoggman
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Pickpick

I said this book wasn't interesting. Maybe the story of conversion therapy is told a little too often. Maybe we need more variety of narratives. But I forgot something.
I forgot what it's like to be the lonely, scared, #queer kid struggling for acceptance from my family.
This book is no doubt important for the queer youth, and, as a queer adult, it sure made me feel proud of our community.
Could be better written though. Hard to follow at times.

hoggman I should mention, the flags are my own, not specific to the book. 2y
Wife Welcome to Litsy!🌹 2y
asiriusreader Welcome to Litsy!! 2y
8 likes1 stack add3 comments
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hoggman
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Unsure if I'm actually gonna finish this one. The conversion therapy story has been told before, it's not something I'm curious about, and honestly the author just isn't a very interesting person.
I'll try to finish this one up at work today, but if I dont, i dont.

RaimeyGallant Interesting. And welcome to Litsy! #LitsyWelcomeWagon Some of us put together Litsy tips to help new Littens navigate the site. It's the link in my bio on my page in case you need it. Or if you prefer how-to videos, @chelleo put some together at the link in her bio. @LitsyWelcomeWagon
2y
hoggman @RaimeyGallant thanks! I'll check it out 2y
RaimeyGallant Awesome. And to get you started, I recommend following @cseydel @bookwormm @stilllookingforcarmensandiego @merelybookish 2y
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StillLookingForCarmenSanDiego Welcome to Litsy @hoggman 🖐😁 2y
CSeydel Welcome to Litsy! There‘s a lot of fun here 😄📚 Thanks @RaimeyGallant for the tag! Some other active Littens to follow @JoeStalksBeck @TricksyTails @Jess_Read_This @JoScho 2y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Welcome to Litsy!! 🙌🏻🎉📚 2y
JoScho Thanks for the tag @CSeydel ❤️ welcome to Litsy @hoggman I hope you love it here 😊 2y
Jess7 Welcome!! 2y
Jess_Read_This 💐Welcome to Litsy @hoggman Thanks for the tag @CSeydel 💕 2y
TricksyTails Welcome to Litsy! 👏😁🎉📚 Thank you for the tag @CSeydel 😘 2y
20 likes11 comments
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hoggman
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Currently nearing the halfway mark on this wonderful memoir by Garrard Conley. Memoirs have got to be my favorite genre, it's so comforting to know that others share my thoughts and experiences, to different degrees. #queer

3 likes1 stack add
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aevrabel
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

Knowing this was going to be made into a movie and curious to see what Conley would say I picked this one out. Honestly, it was not my favorite but I still appreciated his story and felt for him as a person. We have to stop treating people like they are somehow less because of who they are and their experiences. Let's embrace and love them instead.

#boyerased #memoir #reading #audiobook

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elisebarker
Boy Erased: A Memoir | Garrard Conley
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Mehso-so

I think I might have liked this better if I had read it and not listened to it. It made me really sad and my heart hurt for the author, but I just didn‘t like the tangents and I felt like he was a little hypocritical at the end. He talked about someone going on and on and having a pity party, and I felt like there were times he was doing that.