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The Art of Asking , Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
The Art of Asking , Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help | Amanda Palmer
Rock singer, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for -- as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of the art of asking.
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ManyWordsLater
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Pickpick

Update: this book was great. Glad I didn‘t pass on it.

Ruthiella Yay! 😃 1y
61 likes1 comment
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ManyWordsLater
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This has been on my shelf for over six years.

Should I read it or let it go?

Ruthiella Read the first chapter and see if it grabs you. 1y
Soubhiville I liked it. 1y
43 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Cosmos_Moon_River
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Pickpick

I thought this one would be more self-help, but was more of an autobiography. Still very good, but not what I was expecting. I really enjoyed the incorporation of Amanda Palmer‘s music, Dresden Dolls and other music throughout the audiobook.

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mspixieears

A 2010 Princeton University study…concluded that money DOES buy happiness but only up to the point…where you have your basic needs met along with a few extra comforts.
[…]
…it‘s not rocket science. We need to eat, we need shelter…there‘s a satiation level…you hit when you have *enough*.
(133-134)

Suet624 Loved this book 2y
mspixieears @Suet624 I had pretty mixed feelings about it…I think it reads better as a memoir than a “how-to” for creatives? (am admittedly possibly biased, as a non-white queer creative!) 2y
4 likes2 comments
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mspixieears
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I‘m sorry I don‘t have the capacity to post the entire quote, and also sorry I‘m an epic Radiohead fanboy, but what Western popular music record label owner doesn‘t make it their business to learn who the hell Radiohead is?! (this is coming from a failed Western ‘high art‘ musicologist!!! 😭)

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mspixieears

Asking is an act of intimacy and trust. Begging is a function of fear, desperation, or weakness. … Honest communication engenders mutual respect, and that mutual respect makes askers out of beggars. (52)

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alysonimagines
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I got to meet Amanda Palmer several years ago when she came to Book People, played songs on her ukulele, and gave everyone in the book signing line who wanted one a hug, including me. This year I listened to the audiobook for the first time, which feels like a heart to heart talk with Palmer. It brought me back to that night when I experienced her brave, open-hearted vulnerability, which opened my own heart a little wider.🔸#novemberreads2021

10 likes1 stack add
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Amandajoy
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Mehso-so

My audio #doublespin for June was meh. At times I found her to be fierce, fearless, & empathetic. Other times I found her to be entitled, obtuse, & self-indulgent. The audio narration is lovely, and keeps it from being a (soft) pan.

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 3y
janeycanuck Do you listen to the By The Book podcast? This was one of the books they lived by this season. 3y
Amandajoy @janeycanuck I do sometimes & boy did they slam this one, but I did find a lot of their criticisms valid. I think it works better when you look at it more as a memoir with some self help sections thrown in. 3y
23 likes3 comments
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NikkiM5
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Mehso-so

#curiouscovers 25 Jun: Flowers.
I enjoyed this audiobook. The main point: there is nothing wrong with asking for something, or for help. ❤️ It is a simple concept, but I was definitely team “I got this” or “I don‘t need help” I love how the book makes you question where the shame of asking for help came from.

Eggs Rejection probably doesn‘t help, I‘m sure... 3y
AFrostCauseReads Take the donuts 3y
16 likes2 comments
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TK421
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Pickpick

I have been in a terrible reading slump over the last few months. Audiobooks have been of great help in trying to get through this slump. The Art of Asking is absolutely wonderful. This will seriously change they way you view certain aspects of your life. Amanda does her own reading, which is quite enjoyable (I find her Neil Gaiman impersonation delightful), and there are a few songs thrown in. I really can't recommend this enough.

JamieArc Loved this one too, but read it in print. Definitely worth a reread though, so I‘ll do audio next time. 4y
readordierachel Yes, a fabulous audiobook 4y
54 likes2 comments
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Meaw_catlady
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1. Tagged! The audiobook is amazing and she sings in it!
2. My Triggers. Patriarchal sexist nonsense , racism.
3. Casey McQuiston ( red white and royal blue was a five star read as well! )
Thanks for the tag @ImperfectCJ
Have you played yet @Megabooks @wanderinglynn
#wondrouswednesday

wanderinglynn Thanks for the tag! 😘 5y
Eggs Thanks for playing 👏🏻👏🏻 5y
ImperfectCJ I've heard so many good things about Amanda Palmer. I'm going to have to check her out! 5y
See All 6 Comments
Meaw_catlady @wanderinglynn you‘re welcome love! 🥰 5y
Meaw_catlady @Eggs thanks for the great questions !! Sending love your way! 🥰🙏💕 5y
Meaw_catlady @ImperfectCJ she‘s great! And this book is super inspirational! Also I really like her music she inspired me to learn the ukulele! 🥰💕 5y
40 likes1 stack add6 comments
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BekaReid
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Agree 100%! ❤ this post by Amanda Palmer!

18 likes1 comment
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Meaw_catlady
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#Friyayintro
1. I love spring because it‘s time for plants and flowers to be planted and start blooming! It‘s a great time to clean and start fresh. Love the symbolism of it all.
2. Somewhere in between depending on the day.
3. Just 2 it‘s been a rough month for reading. But the tagged book was a 5 star! And Amanda Palmer has inspired me to learn the ukulele.
4. Thanks for the love @Chrissyreadit sending love to @MoonWitch94 @cobwebmoth

Chrissyreadit ❤️ 5y
MoonWitch94 Thanks for the tag 🏷 5y
cobwebmoth Thank you.❤ 5y
See All 9 Comments
Deifio Can you play a song already? 5y
Meaw_catlady @Deifio yes! 2 sort of haha 5y
Meaw_catlady @Chrissyreadit ❤️❤️❤️ 5y
Meaw_catlady @MoonWitch94 you‘re welcome lovely!🖤❤️ 5y
Meaw_catlady @cobwebmoth you‘re welcome !!! 🖤❤️💕 5y
Deifio Great! Keep practicing! 💞 5y
40 likes1 stack add9 comments
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Meaw_catlady
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Speaking of Amanda Palmer and Fucking Neil Gaiman ! I‘m watching their crowd cast currently ! She‘s singing and he‘s reading Poe. Ahh you can find the link on her instagram. They are so lovely ! 🖤

wanderinglynn ❤️❤️❤️ I saw her post on Instagram. Will check it out when I get home. 5y
Soubhiville It‘s also posted on his FB. 5y
Meaw_catlady @Soubhiville excellent ! 5y
52 likes3 comments
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Meaw_catlady
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Pickpick

Beautiful book! I love Amanda‘s artistic worldview and her voice is so lovely. I loved the musical interludes. As an artists this mentality of asking and taking care of each other is dear to me. I love supporting artists I love and it makes me feel great to be part of their community! ❤️🖤

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Soubhiville
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Pickpick

I can‘t remember which Litsy friend gave me this, but it was some time ago.

I have to admit I don‘t like Amanda Palmer‘s music. I have friends who love her so I‘ve tried listening to her many many times. I just don‘t like it.

As a person though, I love her. This book is lovely. The idea of building community to support each other through times we need support, it‘s pretty relevant to the times.

I‘m glad I read this now. 🌸💕

Meaw_catlady I‘m listening to this audiobook currently and I love the way she talks. This book is lovely 5y
81 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Meaw_catlady
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#wondrouswednesday @Eggs
1. I try to participate in any challenge or survey I am tagged in. I admin the #moonreflections survey during full moons and sometimes new moons.
2. I love participating in swaps! I hosted #basicwitchswap with @sprainedbrain I am also a part of the lovely#litsylove group!
3. I am grateful for my job and the people I get to serve in my community everyday. My community here on Litsy, and my framily.

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks ❤️❤️❤️ 5y
Eggs I keep forgetting- I do a book swap every now and then!! 5y
Megabooks You are wonderful dear friend!! 5y
sudi Thank you tagging me ❤❤❤ 5y
37 likes5 comments
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Meaw_catlady
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1. Claudia Gray, Elizabeth Gilbert, Margaret Atwood
2. Current inspirations Billie Eilish , Amanda Palmer (currently listening to her audiobook 💕)
3. I don‘t usually read blogs so I don‘t have any suggestions but I‘m welcome to everyone‘s .
4. I follow many lovely women who make and create a few of my favorites DarcMoon (Malas) RobinEisenberg (digital art) Black and the Moon (Tarot) Atomic Pixies ( Art and Pins! )
#friyayintro

cobwebmoth Thank you!🖤 I love Amanda Palmer. 5y
Megabooks Amanda‘s book is on my list! I‘ll fill this out soon. 💖 And thank you, my dear friend!! 😘😘 (edited) 5y
sudi Awww ,Thank you 😘❤. And great choices 😊 5y
Branwen YAAAASSSS Claudia Grey and Elizabeth Gilbert! I love them both too! 😍 5y
37 likes5 comments
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monalyisha
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“I went to a yoga class in Fitzroy today with a packed room full of people and during the final resting pose the teacher suggested we all imagine the clouds forming, the rain coming. I started to cry. I don‘t believe that our thoughts have the power to bring the rain — not exactly — but I do believe in the power of what it feels like to be in a room of human beings all wishing the same thing at the same time.” 👇🏻

monalyisha 1/2: “There is power in collective feeling. It‘s what we get from being in churches & campfire circles & music concerts & what we have needed since the dawn of time. It sends us back into the world with a different way of being. That‘s real. That‘s not bullshit.” 5y
monalyisha 2/2: “And it‘s the fundamental separation we are creating — every person a deluded, self-sufficient island, every country believing it can function regardless of the whole — that is leading to a lot of the primary conditions that are destroying all this life. Don‘t forget how powerful we are when we feel together, when we work together. Then, we make change together.” 5y
monalyisha — from Instagram 5y
readordierachel Love her 🖤 5y
MinnieTimperley One of my absolute heroes.
5y
85 likes5 comments
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lahousewyfe

"art‘s job is to speak truth to power. art‘s job is to not shut up, to not let up, to keep reminding humanity that there are far more important things than power, money and winning." - Amanda Palmer

This isn't from this book, but as always -and maybe especially when I read this book - Amanda Palmer's words ring true.

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brilliantglow
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I started today! Only have one class this morning (On Sparta!) But still excited. Also really loving this audio book. Amanda is such an interesting person. And I've always been a fan of her music and I loved her Ted Talk.

Branwen Good luck and have a great day! 💕 5y
brilliantglow @Branwen thank you❤ 5y
57 likes2 comments
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laurieluna
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The accompanying book to Amanda Palmers latest album. I became a patreon member to get the hardback of this. Stayed because she's an amazing woman and I should have joined sooner. Been reading this over the past couple of days and it's refreshing how open she is about what she's gone through. It's also tremendously sad. We go through so much as humans, yet we still seem at war with each other. Remember: 'It's just a ride'.

TrishB Great review 👍🏻 5y
erzascarletbookgasm And what a cover! 5y
Billypar Didn't know there was a new album- exciting! Still need to read her book. 5y
See All 8 Comments
laurieluna @erzascarletbookgasm ah yes! I debated about whether to share it with the full frontal nudity, but it's only a body! I've had it stood up on my bookcase since I got it. My mum always comments on it. Shes a bit of a prude 😂 5y
laurieluna @Billypar it's hard listening, but worth it. It's more art than album! 5y
KathyWheeler I keep meaning to get this book and the album. 5y
TK421 My wife and I got that book at her Nashville show a couple months ago. Amanda Palmer really is a wonderful person. 5y
laurieluna @TK421 she's a rarity and a true inspiration for me. Same goes for her husband. I don't think there is another celebrity couple out there that I hold in higher regard than them. 5y
62 likes1 stack add8 comments
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madamereadsalot1
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gradcat Yaaasss! ♥️ 5y
21 likes1 comment
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wanderinglynn
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#moonreflections
1. Continuously learn & gather feedback.
2. Tagged. And the quote: “Any arbitrary turning along the way and I would be elsewhere; I would be different” Francis Mayes
3. Blessings to all! @Mitch @LapReader @cobwebmoth 😘

cobwebmoth Thank you! Hugs and blessings to you!❤ 5y
Meaw_catlady Oooh I stacked that book! Looks great! Thanks so much for posting! Blessings 🌚🖤 5y
LapReader Right back at ya xo 5y
65 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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MaleficentBookDragon
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My morning consisted of a trip to the post office, library, and bakery. Now I'm off to see Dark Phoenix.

BiblioLitten The Silent Patient was my last read. 😊 5y
Crazeedi Yummy looking baked goods!💞 5y
LeeRHarry I saw Dark Phoenix earlier in the week - hope you enjoyed it! 😊 5y
Avanders Mmmm your morning sounds great! 🧘🏽‍♀️ 5y
67 likes4 comments
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mrozzz
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Pickpick

I dug this. Amanda herself narrated, occasionally pausing from the memoir to sing. Her story is a fascinating one, how she would “statue”, how she got involved with and ended up married to Neil Gaiman— I really respect how she achieved fame and genuinely cares for her fans. 💕

readordierachel I dig it too ❤ 6y
JamieArc This book really changed my perspective on asking for help and giving it. 6y
58 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Chelseabillups30
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Mehso-so

This book was heartbreaking, hilarious, insightful & challenging.
The format itself felt unorganized and scattered throughout, although I did enjoy the snippets on the audiobook of Amanda‘s music.
This book was a beautifully written narrative delivery of Amanda‘s wild ride of life thus far.
We could all stand to pay more attention to her living with reckless abandon and choosing to bravely connect with strangers, friends and lovers alike.

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Chelseabillups30

I think the real risk is the choice to disconnect. To be afraid of one another.
We make countless choices everyday whether to ask or to turn away from one another.

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Chelseabillups30

To erase the possibility of empathy is also to erase the possibility of art. Theater, fiction, horror stories, love stories. This is what art does. Good or bad, it imagines the insides, the heart of the other, whether that heart is full of light or trapped in darkness.

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Chelseabillups30

To erase the possibility of empathy is to erase the possibility of understanding.

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Chelseabillups30
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The difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen.

This is definitely one of those “close the book and stare at the wall for a minute because that‘s so eloquently and beautifully written and I just can‘t even with it right now” moments.

Have to make it public to y‘all though because I need you all to experience it right along with me!!

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Chelseabillups30
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This convo between Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman is such a classic depiction of the fiercely independent woman persona and the poor soul single man who just wants his woman but is having a serious eye roll moment right now AND IT HAS ME DYING OVER HERE Y‘ALL!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

lostinabookbrb I can just see him saying his responses all calmly, too. 6y
Chelseabillups30 @lostinabookbrb, this segment is why I‘d highly recommend the audiobook reading with the book itself....it enhanced this moment so spectacularly!! 😂😂😂 6y
42 likes2 comments
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Chelseabillups30

When you openly, radically trust people, they not only take care of you, they become your allies, your family.

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Chelseabillups30

All art, no matter what shape it is, has to come from somewhere.
We can only connect the dots we can collect.

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Chelseabillups30
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Asking for help and the power of “We.”

tammysue 👍🏻 6y
35 likes1 comment
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Chelseabillups30

Those who can ask without shame are viewing themselves in collaboration with—rather than in competition with—the world.

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Chelseabillups30

You‘re an artist when you say you are. And you‘re a good artist when you make somebody else experience or feel something deep or unexpected.

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Chelseabillups30

Often it is our own sense that we are undeserving of help that has immobilized us. Whether it‘s in the arts, at work, or in our relationships, we often resist asking not only because we‘re afraid of rejection but also because we don‘t even think we deserve. What we‘re asking for. We have to truly believe in the validity of what we‘re asking for.

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Chelseabillups30
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Happy World Book Day, Littens!!

It‘s a neat thought to consider that many of you are from other corners of the globe, yet we come together and celebrate our love of reading and books!!

Tagged is the book I‘m diving into today!! Tag yours in the comments, I want to know what everyone is reading wherever you are!!

Prettytears Someone Knows By Lisa Scottoline. Happy World Book Day 😊 (edited) 6y
Birdsong28 I am currently reading 6y
See All 7 Comments
Naj Just started 6y
Sophia1 Finally got the time to start the 😍😍 6y
52 likes1 stack add7 comments
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BekaReid
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Last night I had the privilege of seeing Amanda Palmer's show. It was sad. It was powerful. I cried. I laughed. I smiled through the tears. #therewillbenointermission and the icing on the donut 🍩 😉 was that I got the chance to meet her preshow! It was amazing and beautiful.
I was first introduced to her music after reading her book. And the opening line makes me smile every time.

monalyisha I saw her once by accident. I went to her show solely because Neil Gaiman was also reading a few of his stories. I left totally blown away by her — to the point where Neil wasn‘t even the highlight anymore (not that he wasn‘t great, because he was). She‘s amazing! 6y
Eggbeater Amanda Palmer is my hero! I am so jealous! I love her music. I am one of her supporters on Patreon. Was this in DC? 6y
BekaReid @monalyisha Neil Gaiman was my "introduction" to Amanda Palmer as well. Yes, they're both amazing!! 6y
BekaReid @Eggbeater I'm also one on her patrons in Patreon!😊 and this was in Philly. I heard the DC show was phenomenal as well. Both definitely were long and wonderful as they were nearly 4 and hours. 6y
13 likes4 comments
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JPeterson
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Not really book related, but she did write a book & I‘m still super excited.
I have been a fan of Amanda Palmer since 2006ish and read her book a few months ago.
Well, my boyfriend surprised me with a ticket to go see her in concert last night. This was the first time I‘ve ever did anything like this by myself, and it was one of the best experiences I‘ve ever had. It was sad, and beautiful, and hilarious, and I couldn‘t ask for more. ❤️🖤❤️

cobwebmoth Awesome! I'm going to see her in Nashville next month. 6y
60 likes2 comments
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NatalieR
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Pickpick

I didn‘t know who Amanda Palmer was until I attended a Neil Gaiman signing in 2013. I‘ve been interested in reading her book since it came out. I am blown away! I have so much respect and admiration for this amazing woman!! I ❤️ her narration of the audiobook; her voice and story telling brought me complete zen and peace. #theartofasking #ReadingUSA2019 #Massachusetts

Readergrrl I saw her perform at last year‘s Fringe Festival in Edinburgh. Amazing!! 6y
GrilledCheeseSamurai Her new album is 👌 6y
Librarybelle Awesome! Your review has convinced me to read this! 6y
See All 12 Comments
lahousewyfe Love this book! It changed tge way I look at selling and fundraising. 6y
Suet624 I assume you‘ve seen her Ted talk? If not, check it out. I loved this book. 6y
BekaReid My introduction to Amanda Palmer was through her book nearly 2 years ago. Then I started listening to her music, and the rest is history. And her new album released this month is powerful! 6y
NatalieR @Readergrrl I bet that was awesome! 😀 6y
NatalieR @GrilledCheeseSamurai Good to know! 😉 6y
NatalieR @Librarybelle I hope you enjoy it! 😀 6y
NatalieR @lahousewyfe Me too!! 🙋🏻‍♀️ 6y
NatalieR @Suet624 Not yet, but I will check it out. Thanks! 6y
NatalieR @BekaReid Awesome! Thanks, I look forward to checking it out. 6y
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sarahgreatlove
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Pickpick

This was a brilliant book. I thought it was a book about anxiety (“how I learned to stop worrying”) but it is more about how to ask for help and how to receive it, within the context of creativity mostly but also relationally. @amandapalmer is a kickstarter/crowdfunding genius and it was fascinating to read about how that process actually works. I‘m also a Neil Gaiman fangirl so the insights into how they met/married/etc were wonderful. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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StardustSoul
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Just finished this book and I'm still crying. So good, so inspiring, so touching and raw and real. If you have a free weekend, spend it with this book!

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sophierayton
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Pickpick

I started this book 5 months ago and put it down as I wasn't "feeling it". I picked it back up, and actually quite enjoyed it. Yes, it's self-indulgent but that's just Amanda Palmer. I love that we have all kinds of people in the world and that many choose to share their art and soul with the rest of us.

TieDyeDude She just did an episode of the podcast "Conversations with People Who Hate Me." Pretty interesting 6y
38 likes1 comment
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Chelseabillups30
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And this is what happens when you visit the bargain books section of your local bookstore and find a book that has been on your TBR list for too long with a price tag of $5.99.

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julesG
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#septemberdanes @Cinfhen @Kalalalatja

#WarriorWorrier

I like the "moon" my page refresh/screenshot created. It fits with AP looking up.

Kalalalatja It does look pretty neat! 👌 6y
DivineDiana This was such a good book! ❤️ 6y
Eggbeater This woman is my hero! 6y
78 likes4 stack adds3 comments
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Victoriahoperose
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Mehso-so

I liked the message for the most part in this book but I didn‘t love the way it was portrayed. I just felt like she talked so much about all the negative things that happened to her and her message got lost in there. I also really didn‘t love this on audio. I didn‘t know much about her going into this so maybe someone who knows of her and is a fan would like this more.