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Text Me When You Get Home
Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship | Kayleen Schaefer
55 posts | 51 read | 84 to read
A personal and sociological examination--and ultimately a celebration--of the evolution of female friendship in pop culture and modern society "Text me when you get home." After joyful nights out together, female friends say this to one another as a way of cementing their love. It's about safety; but more than that, it's about solidarity. From Broad City to Big Little Lies to what women say about their own best friends, the stories we're telling about female friendship have changed. What used to be written off as infighting between mean girls or disposable relationships that would be tossed as soon as a guy came along are no longer described like that. Now, we're lifting up our female friendships to the same level as our other important relationships, saying they matter just as much as the bonds we have with our romantic partners, children, parents, or siblings. Journalist Kayleen Schaefer relays her journey of modern female friendship: from being a competitive teenager to trying to be one of the guys in the workplace to ultimately awakening to the power of female friendship and the soulmates, girl squads, and chosen families that come with it. Schaefer has put together a completely new sociological perspective on the way we see our friends today, one that includes interviews with dozens of other women across the country: historians, creators of the most iconic films and television shows about female friendship (and Galentine's Day!), celebrities, authors, and other experts. The end result is a validation of female friendship that's never existed before.
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ontheBL
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Pickpick

Text Me When You Get Home is more than a polite request of our friends, it's an anthem.
In the past century, female friendship has been the in between. Historically this has never been true. The last century has seen women isolated and conditioned to depend on men, in order to keep the status quo for as long as possible. This new generation of women calls bullshit.
https://onthebl.org/2019/10/22/text-me-when-you-get-home-by-kayleen-schaefer/

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TheDaysGoBy
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Mehso-so

Eh. I think this had sounded better than it was. Some of it was interesting I guess and I loved the chapter about BFFs. I‘m not sure what exactly I wanted out of this book, but whatever it was it didn‘t really leave me feeling satisfied or glad I listened to it

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Redjewel_7734
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Pickpick

A good book that celebrates & holds up women‘s friendships as not just important but crucial, valuable, & integral. I really enjoyed reading this one, but there were points where I felt that all the women‘s relationships being talked about were of a type. So I do wish that there was a bit more variety to the female friendships depicted, but even with that this is a good, quick read that adds something important to the landscape of relationships.

60 likes1 stack add
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CareBear
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Why don‘t they have bars like this back home?! #booksandbooze

Ncostell That looks amazing! 5mo
wanderinglynn That‘s my plan—to open a bookstore bar. 5mo
See All 8 Comments
Hollie @carebear where is this? 5mo
kspenmoll Wow! What a lovely place to unwind! (edited) 5mo
Liz_M So lovely looking. I think I need that drink now please. 😁 5mo
CareBear @wanderinglynn I love your idea! This was more of a library bar and the books were just for show/ambience so I like your idea much better 🤣 5mo
CareBear @Hollie Las Vegas 5mo
89 likes8 comments
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stacybmartin
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Pickpick

Finished up this month‘s pick for my IRL book club while waiting for my incubation to be done. The author is a reformed ‘cool girl‘ who has realized the importance and overall awesomeness of having close friendships with other women. Gave it ⭐️⭐️⭐️. Now I‘m off to do some serology with my Hatfield/McCoy feud #labsoundtrack!

MallenNC My at work book club read this too. It sparked some good discussion. 7mo
44 likes1 stack add1 comment
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stacybmartin
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A quick snack and reading break before I go back into the lab to do some serology. Happy Friday y‘all!

whippoorwill815 Ha love seeing the word “serology” on Litsy ! 😜 7mo
stacybmartin @whippoorwill815 science nerds unite on Litsy! 🤣🤓👩🏼‍🔬 7mo
46 likes2 comments
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stacybmartin
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Starting this month‘s selection for my IRL book club, along with a bookmark from one of the Litsy exchanges I‘ve participated in. 💜

britt_brooke I have that bookmark! 😆💪🏻 Love it. 7mo
39 likes1 comment
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MissAmanda
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Now reading...

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MallenNC
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I'm counting this book as Something Uplifting on my #nonfiction2019 bingo card. It was uplifting because it emphasized the value of friendship in women's lives and it made my book club consider the impact of our friends.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sounds very good and like you had a great discussion! 10mo
MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa We did! It was a fun conversation. 10mo
26 likes1 stack add2 comments
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MallenNC
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Pickpick

This month's book for my at work book club generated a lot of discussion about childhood friends, current friendships, and the ways female friendship is portrayed in pop culture. This wasn't an in-depth study, but a mix of memoir and pop culture, with input from writers, actors, and other modern women. I enjoyed it and appreciated the reflection it sparked. #nonfiction2019 (Seems appropriate to have a picture taken at my desk)

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riversong153
Mehso-so

I picked this for our book club this month. The book led to an interesting conversation, however the book was meh. I felt like the author missed so many opportunities to go deeper and repeated the same ideas too much. This could have been a blog post or essay. I would‘ve liked it better if it was an essay collection with different writers weighing in on different elements.

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Jen2
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Pickpick

Truth!

MallenNC My book club is reading this. I haven't started it yet. 10mo
97 likes3 stack adds1 comment
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emtobiasz
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Mehso-so

Almost a pick, this nonfiction book started out fun and fast and then just went on too long. Schaefer uses lots of very current pop culture references and stories from her own personal experience in this study of female friendships. I needed an uplifting read, which this is, but it could have benefited from more data/research, particularly from groups to which the author doesn‘t belong (LGBTQIA, POC, any acknowledgement of non-binary folks).

riversong153 Same. I felt like she had too much pop culture and that this could‘ve been an essay or a blog post. 10mo
58 likes1 comment
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Augustdana
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Up next. Almost finished my first book of 2019. Just set my reading goal of a whopping 30 books this year! This one has mixed reviews, but I‘m intrigued.

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danimgill
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Mehso-so

This was way more of a personal/memoir-ish look at female friendships than I was hoping for when I picked this book up from the library. It‘s still fine to read, but I think I still want a truly well-researched sociological look at female friendships. 🤷‍♀️

riversong153 Same! 10mo
41 likes1 comment
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crhealey
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Pickpick

This book felt so good to read. It wasn't earth shattering or mind blowing but it was a lovely articulation of things I feel regularly but can't always name. Cheers to Gilmore Girls for the friendships it creates, that's how I found my tribe too. #nonfictionnovember

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crhealey
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💕💕💕thinking of this as I spend 4 hours on the train to have lunch with a friend💕💕💕

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kaykay521
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Pickpick

Such a great book about the power of female friendships, why our friends are important, how to continue to grow those friendships in our adult years and why we as women should be building each other up. I plan to recommend to all my best girlfriends ❤️

37 likes2 stack adds
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Megabooks
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Just noticed these covers on my iPad. Is there a black/white/yellow trend in #nonfiction book covers? 🤔🤔

86 likes3 stack adds
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crhealey
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Been running around to every indie bookstore in CT in anticipation of a really sad occasion. My bff, roomie, fellow reader and partner in the CT Indie bookstore weekend is moving to TN next week. 😭😭😭😭We've been running around like crazy trying to use up all the gift cards before she moves and this is today's haul. Well at least I'll have a source of entertainment once she's gone? 😭😭😭😭

CatLass007 Where in Tennessee? I live in Northeast Tennessee in the Tri-Cities area. 1y
14 likes1 comment
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TheBookstorePodcast
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🌟🚨🌟🚨GIVEAWAY🚨🌟🚨🌟
Ever want to be on a podcast? We‘re hosting a giveaway for followers who call into the podcast and leave a comment or question in our voicemail!

☎️ Our number is 616-730-1656.
‼️SEE COMMENTS FOR RULES.‼️
We can‘t wait to hear from you!

TheBookstorePodcast 1. Must reside in the US in order to be eligible for a prize.
2. Call in and ask us any kind of question you‘d like. Book related is great, but we‘ll accept stories about when you saw CATS on broadway, too.
1y
TheBookstorePodcast 3. You MUST be willing to have the voicemail played on air, we‘re trying to get some new engagement, and have you guys involved on the show!
4. Leave a callback number, email address or home address so I can contact you if you win (don‘t worry, this will not be aired on the podcast).
5. The window to participate in the giveaway will end on Thursday August 16, 2018 at noon EST.
(edited) 1y
32 likes1 stack add2 comments
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LadyElaine
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Pickpick

First stop on my #24in48 stack was finishing this book about the power of female friendships. Pausing now for a quick lunch break, and to write love letters to all my female friends. Love this section from the book about America‘s favorite besties, Oprah and Gayle.

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Expandingbookshelf
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Mehso-so

This is book is equally interesting and frustrating. There was cool stuff I didn‘t know. But this book also felt kind of patronizing. A lot of it read like a Buzzfeed listicle about loving your BFF 4 LYFE. This book only really delved into the lives of the straight, rich and white and the whole thing really just felt...insubstantial. I don‘t know what I wanted from this book, but I know I didn‘t get it.

4 likes1 stack add
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msuwilsonj
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Pickpick

I loved this book! It gave me all of the warm and fuzzy feelings while I was reading it. Also, this was the first book I read on my new Kindle Voyage! 😍 #beachreads #femalefriendsarethebest

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AlizaApp
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Pickpick

A lovely ode to female friendships, but it was more memoir with pop culture references than anything academic. I liked reading the interviews with her friends, and how they remembered the same incidents different ways.

Bookcation74 And your nails match! 👏🏻 1y
AlizaApp @Bookcation74 always my goal! 1y
46 likes3 stack adds2 comments
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specificity
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This is so gay and I love it. "My joy, my life, my rest."

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Nitpickyabouttrains
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Pickpick

Started and finished this book today. It was short and conversational and so readable. I definitely related to huge parts of it.

33 likes1 stack add
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tholmz
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Pickpick

This was an absolutely lovely, moving, funny, and extremely relevant (to me!!) read. Friendships between women are so important to me and I am lucky to be able to read this and think of so many people in my life who keep me going.

I do wish it had more about internet friendships and non-hetero friendships (though it briefly touches on both!) but otherwise, a damn good book.

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amma-keep-reading
Pickpick

I really enjoyed this probably because it is a timely read in terms of where I am in my personal life. I recommend this as an audio-book as some of the humor and points are more clear in audio.

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sixminutesforme
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Mehso-so

⭐️⭐️⭐️ A sweet enough memoir meets chronicle of modern female friendships that is rich in pop culture references, but ultimately didn‘t leave a lasting impression on me. Thanks to NetGalley and Dutton for my review copy (and my friend @kdwinchester for gifting me this hard copy ARC) Full review here https://sixminutesforme.com/2018/06/13/text-me-when-you-get-home-by-kathleen-sch...

KateFulfordAuthor Modern female narratives appeal? If you need a recommendation for July, may I point you to my People‘s Book Prize nominated debut? Sassy female narrative, laugh out dialogue and a pacy plot. Check the link in the bio for 2 free chapters, reviews and more. 1y
RadicalReader @sixminutesforme such a sweet title for a book. Truly where friendships and relationships are at this point of communication nothing better than having the reassurance a loved one arrived safely 1y
8 likes2 comments
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Librarybelle
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It‘s summer, which means I support one of my local libraries and their summer reading program, because, you know, working 40+ hours a week at a library isn‘t enough library time! I visited one of my local libraries and hit the new shelf jackpot. Plus, a couple holds on royal families came in for me (thanks to my bingeing the last season of Reign). #librariansoflitsy #bookhaul #libraryhaul

Librarybelle The third book in the stack is this one, which looks at marriage in Mumbai 1y
robinb I watched maybe the first 2 1/2 seasons of Reign and then somehow got off track and missed the rest. I really liked what I saw of it so thanks for reminding me I need to get back to it! 👍😊 1y
Librarybelle @robinb You‘re welcome! It‘s on NetFlix, if that helps! 1y
See All 8 Comments
robinb @Librarybelle 👍👍😊 1y
Crazeedi Ooooohhh you got some very intriguing titles! 1y
Mollyanna I liked Reign too, and it made me add several books to my TBR as further research. I look forward to your review of 1y
83 likes8 comments
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nsol
Pickpick

I had to skim this book because I literally have 20 books checked out right now and two of them are work assignments that I'm behind on. I enjoyed this book! It gets us. I'm truly just feeling disappointed right now that speed reading and skimming are going to be the only ways I will ever HOPE TO get through my TBR.

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Ashley_Nicoletto
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Pickpick

There's a significant chunk of this book where the author explains how she had previously valued male friendships over female friendships and I eye rolled SO hard. I'm glad I didn't quit listening to this though. Ended up really enjoying this look into the change in feminism.

66 likes5 stack adds
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Ashley_Nicoletto
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Things I don't care about: Fitting in with the boys club.

Things I deeply care about: Being a "call me when you get home" kind of friend.

Women are incredible. Girlfriends are powerful.

#believeringirlfriends ❤️

LauraBeth 🙌 Girls, we run this motha 2y
Cinfhen 💕💕 2y
Bianca Female friendship is everything. ❤ 2y
62 likes3 comments
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Nicole
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Pickpick

Like a great coffee date with your bestie, this is the perfect blend of research, analysis, and real-life stories. It‘s a tribute and celebration of being a woman today, from work friendships, to media portrayals, to the fifth grade BFF that we still call every day. By the end I was eyeing up that woman in the next lane and thinking, “I wonder what we have in common besides swimming?”

Full review at www.TheBibliophage.com #booked2018 #friendship

batsy Nice. Love that title. 2y
124 likes5 stack adds2 comments
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BarbaraTheBibliophage
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Starting a new audiobook this weekend. I‘m interested to read this one from the 50-something perspective. Hoping it has universal enough themes to pull me in.

sammisho @Loverofbooks the title alone reminds me of us! 2y
BarbaraTheBibliophage @sammisho @Loverofbooks It‘s so good! I‘ll bet you‘d both like it! 2y
98 likes4 stack adds2 comments
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LauraReadsTheBooks
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House sitting for my best friend. Seemed fitting.

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seglitis
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Pickpick

Loved this one, it was so relatable. I managed to finish it in one day.

These audiobooks are the best thing. They allow me to work towards a better me, without compromising my reading time. #crushingmyTBRs 😍

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miggymag
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Loving this book about female friendship. “...She makes friendship sound romantic, a notion that I like. I think the most solid, supportive friend alliances are as hard to come by and as heady as any fairy-take love.”

4 likes2 stack adds
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mrozzz
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These are the books I‘ve accumulated at recent events at my fave place, Books Are Magic. ☺️📚 #bookhaul

Missed out on meeting Kate Greathead last week but snagged a signed copy anyway. The other two nonfiction books here are badass additions to my overflowing feminist shelf. 🙌🏻

BarbaraTheBibliophage Two of those three are on my TBR also! 2y
mrozzz The nonfictions? @BarbaraTheBibliophage 2y
emmaturi I really fancy reading Emma & Laura 2y
mrozzz I‘ve heard comparisons to Gilmore Girls. Does it hold up? @emmaturi 2y
114 likes4 comments
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LizzieLou
Mehso-so

When I started this book I was pumped, "yeah!! Girl power!" But by they end, it felt a little overly self congratulatory. Okay, we get it, your friends are cool. It's got some interesting stats and some heartbreaking stories, but it didn't seem very inclusive. Mostly white lady love.

jwashreads That's too bad--I saw the book today and thought it looked really interesting. 2y
LizzieLou @jwashreads maybe check it out from the library. Some of the history was really interesting, but it kinda felt like a really long BuzzFeed article. 2y
29 likes2 comments
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nvhXesq
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I‘m going to try and participate in the Girls Night In bookclub this month, which pushed this up my list as there is a meeting in Boston at the end of March. I heard about this book last year and immediately put it on my TBR because I.GET.IT. I tell all my GFs and even my BFs to text me when they get home. I tell everyone, but when I say it to my girlfriends, it carries extra meaning. A meaning almost every woman understands.

miggymag GNI put this on my radar too! I‘m liking it a lot 2y
6 likes1 comment
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BeckaD
Pickpick

LOVE LOVE LOVE this book! Truly my favorite book I‘ve read in a while. It reminded me of the deep love and appreciation I have for my friends who have celebrated with me at my best and commiserated with me at my worst. This book has also inspired me to research and learn more about how and why society has devalued the female friendship since the Victorian Age. Will inspire you to call, write, text, and tag your friends to let them know. ❤️

LizzieLou I'm only about a third of the way in and I feel the same!! 2y
3 likes1 comment
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CoffeeK8
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Pickpick

I am lucky enough to have the deep, long-lasting friendships that this book describes, and this book makes me appreciate every one of them. It‘s part conversation about why we need female friendships, part social history and part ode to the author‘s friendships.

46 likes3 stack adds
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BeckaD
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Just delivered! Reading this with my best friend who moved to DC last year. Long Distance Book Club!

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CoffeeK8
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Next up, reading this today and texting all my friends to tell them how much I appreciate them! 💖

52 likes3 stack adds