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Burnout
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle | Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski
"This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men--and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life. The gap between what it's really like to be a woman and what people expect women to be is a primary cause of burnout, because we exhaust ourselves trying to close the space between the two. How can you "love your body" when everything around you tells you you're inadequate? How do you "lean in" at work when you're already giving 110% and aren't recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a world that is constantly telling you you're too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish? Sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., the bestselling author of Come as You Are, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of overwhelm and exhaustion, and confront the obstacles that stand between women and well-being. With insights from the latest science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, Burnout reveals: - what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle--and return your body to a state of relaxation. - how to manage the "monitor" in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration. - how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies--and how to fight back. - why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are key to recovering from and preventing burnout"--
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Amandakay
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Pickpick

The patriarch… ugh.

TheBookHippie Word. 7mo
Kerrbearlib Stacked! 6mo
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Mirazzles
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Ooof

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LadyCait84
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Pickpick

Not as revelatory as I was hoping, but still provided a sound case for the need to address the stress as well as the stressor. I‘ve often wondered why I didn‘t feel the relief when a stressful situation passed…now I know why. And will be looking for my personal hows for reliably completing the stress cycle going forward.

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Kristy_K
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Pickpick

I‘m not going 2say there was anything groundbreaking here, but I‘ll say it had great reminders of the things we should be doing when experiencing stress or burnout. (It‘s amazing when stuck in a stress cycle how easy it is 2forget that something as easy as eating regular meals can help.) It‘s a straightforward, easy 2read book, w/good prompts &helpful tips. I do think it helped me w/a few reminders &can see this being a good gift for a new adult.

GlassAsDiamonds Agreed - I found it realy useful trying to come out of burnout and have recommended it a bunch but you‘re right, the hidden formula to Life, The Universe and Everything isn‘t hiding in it. 🤣💛🤣 10mo
Kristy_K @GlassAsDiamonds I found it the perfect book for me to read right now. A lot of great reminders that I think we can all use! 10mo
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PuddleJumper
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Mehso-so

I really dislike books like this that use stories to exemplify what they are talking about. Just give me the facts and give me the research that backs it up.

This wasn't a particularly useful book. I don't know when it was written to place it in the timeline of burn out books but I've read better. The advice given was nothing new. There was an emphasis on exercise which was oddly placed.

CaramelLunacy I found it a bit blame-y myself... 13mo
40 likes1 comment
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Gadolby
Mehso-so

Small parts of this book were helpful (like even *more* motivation to work out), but overall I didn‘t really relate. I don‘t think I‘m a “human giver” or feel overly obligated to take care of others. But, I know many people (mostly women) do. All the stuff about the bikini industrial complex felt overly dramatized, but I suppose that‘s how a lot of women do feel. So, I‘m sure this book is important for someone, but maybe not me

SamAnne Thanks for your review. I stacked. 2y
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smallthings
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Two small children shouldn't be this hard. But I feel like I'm running on fumes. Maybe this book will give me something to hold on to

#bookchain
Read a book with "The" in a title

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Julsmarshall
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Pickpick

Some great information here about what causes burnout and tips for managing it, not just in your professional life but in your personal life as well. A lot of time is spent examining the added work that women are tasked with sure to inequality and the patriarchy which was both infuriating and empowering. I enjoyed on #audio, may have been a little too repetitive otherwise. #BookspinBingo

AmyG Julie, did you recieve my jolabokaflodpackage? USPS says it was delivered. 2y
Julsmarshall @AmyG I did! I keep meaning to take a picture of it and post, but it has been a crazy weekend. Thank you so much, can‘t wait to open it! 2y
AmyG That‘s ok. Just glad you got it! 2y
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britt_brooke
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I don‘t read much #selfhelp, but this grabbed and held my attention, offering so much insight into how we respond to stress.

Cinfhen I could probably benefit from this one!!! 2y
britt_brooke @Cinfhen I need all the help I can get! 😅 I let everything stress me out … including being behind on book reviews. I‘m still about 10 behind!! 2y
Cinfhen Hahaha - are you the oldest child in your family?!! I think it‘s a first born thing….my daughter is the same way and so am I!! 2y
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SamAnne I am not a self help book reader but I have stacked this one. 2y
britt_brooke @Cinfhen I have an older brother, but we are definitively flip flopped in the birth order stuff. I fit the typical first born traits and he fits the second. I know so many others that do fit, including my own sons. 😄 2y
britt_brooke @SamAnne I hope you take away some good stuff from it. 🤍 2y
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SarahBookInterrupted
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Pickpick

This book has many helpful tools for women who are experiencing burnout. I think this book is particularly helpful for those women who are in a career where they feel the pressure of the patriarchy to conform. This has many helpful tips for anyone experiencing stress who need to get clear about what they want from life. They cover many topics afflicting women. Its funny and playful, so if you‘re looking for a serious book this isn‘t for you.

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she.hearts.horror
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Stressors vs stress! What a #protip

britt_brooke Yes!! 2y
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kelseylovesyoga
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Pickpick

Wowza! This book was an unexpected combination of a deep dove into moving out of burnout and the underlying societal systems that drive us into it. A very thorough exploration of patriarchy and it‘s effects on modern day women.

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JoyBlue
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Pickpick

I‘ve finally found a self-help (or “self-care”) book for me! Read my full review here: https://debbybrauer.org/#burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-...

Chrissyreadit Yes! I use some of this with myself and clients regularly. I loved it too. 3y
TheBookHippie Well I feel the same and now, I need to read it. 😅 3y
JoyBlue @Chrissyreadit Yay—that's good to know! 3y
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JoyBlue @TheBookHippie 😂 Let's discuss after/if you read it! 3y
TheBookHippie @JoyBlue my copy arrives tomorrow 😂😂😂😂😂😂 3y
50 likes1 stack add6 comments
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GondorGirl
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Somewhere in Georgia...

I've been listening to this audiobook when it's my turn to drive. I've already ordered myself a physical copy that I can mark passages in. I'd recommend it for anyone who is perceived as female.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I might need this…. Like a few months ago. I‘ve going with the say no & mean it and tell people what I really need….and I‘m amazed at how much that can just fly over people‘s heads or they just don‘t care. Adult care giving is not for wimps. 😂 3y
GondorGirl @Riveted_Reader_Melissa there was so much take away... even for someone like me who isn't a caregiver. It talks a lot about realizing what it is you actually need and about learning to let yourself take up space in a culture that trains girls to be pretty, quiet, and obedient. 3y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @GondorGirl Yep. I need this! 3y
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TamTracy
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Panpan

Not a great self help book. I didn‘t learn how to manage stress or anything new for that matter. It WAS very affirming and validating but nothing to help the actual problems we have. ⭐️⭐️

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Thousand-Lives
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Don‘t my current reads look so pretty together! 😍

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Pretty 💗💗 4y
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wonderflood
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Book #12: This book was PHENOMENAL. I listened to it as an audiobook and loved every single minute of it. As a somatic therapist, I found a lot of the info in this book so refreshing to hear delivered in a manageable and relatable way. This is not a *self-help* book - it‘s a collection of tools & information to help survive our current world while also calling us to action in building a new world of collective & creative care.

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StellaDz
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Pickpick

Emily and Amelia can write a book that is both scientific and nerdy, making it very relatable. Anyone reading this book can see a part of themselves in what they discuss IMO. We all deal with stress, some of us better than others.

I learned so much with this book, and from the first page I was nodding my head in OMGs.

I will take away 3 things: We are the new hotness; name the crazy lady in the attic; and complete the stress cycle.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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StellaDz
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I think I‘ve hurt my neck from my constant nodding... and I‘m only 2 chapters in. I‘m looking at you 2020...#currentlylistening

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Twainy
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Mehso-so

🎧 Here comes an unfavorable opinion 😁

Started out fantastic with actual science, just what I needed. I began to feel empowered with the knowledge that I might successfully be able to overcome burnout.

Then came a surprise blame game attack that lasted the last 70% of the book & left me thinking I was supposed to feel like a victim & rile me. Evil patriarchy 🤨

I wanted to love this book, it was just ok ⭐️⭐️1/2

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Twainy
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1. Tagged

2. Where Dreams Descend, The Wife Upstairs, The Vanishing Half, In A Holidaze, A Deadly Education, The Only Good Indians, Legendborn, Plain Bad Heroines, The Survivors, Pretty Little Wife annnnnnd Goodnight Beautiful. 

3. Full Throttle (Joe Hill), Positive (David Wellington), Otaku (Chris Kluwe), NightLord (Garon Whited) & Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Eric Idle)

#WondrousWednesday
Thank you @EadieB

monkeygirlsmama Such a fantastic self description!!! 🙃 4y
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Storied
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This is a book for any woman who has felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything she had to do, and yet still worried she was not doing “enough.” Which is every woman we know—including us.

#Burnout #EmilyNagoski #AmeliaNagoski #FirstLineFridays #Nonfiction @ShyBookOwl

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lahousewyfe
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Pickpick

Getting out of stress and finding the strength and compassion within ourselves for ourselves means not just survival but thriving. As a creativity coach, I believe that we connect with our creativity to find our meaning and then use that creativity to manifest our meaning in the world. This book gives you tools which promote and empower you to make this happen. I'll be recommending it to every one of my clients.

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Librarybelle
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Mehso-so

Taking way longer to finish than I had planned...

While there are a few parts that will resonate with me - I think it was Chapter 6 that really struck me, and I really need to think of my madwoman - other parts just did not seem to gel for me. I suffer from much stress, but I don‘t identify with Human Giver Syndrome. Maybe I‘ll explore the book in a couple years again...

Thanks, @Chrissyreadit , for hosting a #buddyread for this!

Chrissyreadit @Librarybelle I‘m so glad you joined in, and that some parts resonated. 5y
86 likes1 comment
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CoffeeK8
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#7books7days of books that left a deep impression or changed me. I was invited to do this by *2* different people today! Thanks @readordierachel and @JaclynW

This book changed my life. I couldn‘t conceptualize the stress/adrenal cycle and how it affects everyday life before this!

readordierachel I need to move this up my tbr! 5y
JaclynW This looks like something I need!!🤯 5y
CoffeeK8 @readordierachel @JaclynW it‘s an amazing book! 5y
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Gina
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Mehso-so

I had a really hard time connecting with this book. For me I found most of it I have already read or experienced. There was a lot of repeating the same idea over and over. There were a lot of metaphors using Disney movies which did not work for me. I am glad I read it because it really had me asking the question why am I so put off with this book which stretched my mind to uncomfortable places, which is a good thing.

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Gina
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So the author's suggest to make 2 of these calendars, a "real" one and an "ideal" one.

The free flowing take it as it comes bohemian in me just can not process such a rigid schedule.

wanderinglynn 😳 That much scheduling would be my hell. I don‘t even like having a set work schedule. 5y
Gina @wanderinglynn I am so with you on that 5y
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Gina
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Ummmmm... I'd have to say, as for me... Nope

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Gina
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Soooo why are we quoting Nietzsche but then putting an UGH behind his name.

marleed Interesting~~~ 5y
Gina @marlee they do this through out the book behind certain words. I get the "unsaid" meaning but for me ot is just not working. It seems kind of juvenile. 5y
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Gina
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Well, isn't that interesting...

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Gina
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While reading this self help book about burnout I came across this bit of Star Trek trivia I did not know. How cool is that!♡!

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ChasingOm
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Our book club is going virtual this Thursday, so I should probably get the book read. 😬

Today was BEAUTIFUL here in southwestern West Virginia, so I spent a lot of time outside reading this and two other books I‘m reading to build my yoga curriculum for the rest of the year — whether we‘ll get to gather together or online.

What I forgot to do was use my stopwatch for #24b4Monday. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Andrew65 Can always estimate the time, we are very informal. 5y
42 likes1 comment
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Julsmarshall
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Didn‘t hit 24 hours but a decent time and Zi finished 4 books and started 2 more 😄 #Stayathome24in48 #24in48

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Chrissyreadit
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Pickpick

I just finished Burnout- this last chapter about madwoman in the attic still needs some processing. I think my mad woman is in my front yard. What did my fellow #burnoutbuddyread friends think?

Librarybelle Hoping to finish the book this weekend! 5y
Hooked_on_books I thought it was a good book overall. It is important for women to recognize the ways in which society has pushed us into an unhealthy place and to push back. Hopefully this book will help some women to do so. 5y
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Julsmarshall
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Right out of the gate, I‘m loving this! #currentlisten

TheDaysGoBy LOVED this! 5y
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Blaire
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Catching up on my #burnoutbuddyread reading while waiting floor my massage...very appropriate for a chapter about rest. This chapter affirmed a lot of the changes I‘ve made in the last two years - switching to a part-time job, guarding my morning me time to do yoga, read, and have coffee alone, and making time for good cardio exercise. I still need more sleep but I‘m working on it and keep a consistent bedtime.

Blaire I‘ve moved away from focusing on ladder climbing and productivity and tried to focus more on being content. Tho work can still cause me major anxiety. I think How to Do Nothing is a nice companion read to this about escaping the productivity mindset. 5y
Lindy 🍀❤️🍀 5y
Librarybelle Thanks for the suggestion for of the companion book! I‘m hoping to finish Burnout this week. 5y
Amandajoy I‘ve been intrigued by How to Do Nothing. I may have to pick it up. I really think we vastly underestimate how important rest and disconnecting are. I say that, but I know I struggle with doing it too. 5y
Blaire @Amandajoy @librarybelle yes, it‘s not a self-help book in any traditional sense but really takes a deep look at what we value as a society and the worth of things that aren‘t done for productivity, but for the value of thinking about them, appreciating them, and just noticing and being. (edited) 5y
70 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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Chrissyreadit
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These all feel like a luxury to me. In fact, the term “self care” has become a stress trigger for me because it feels like a luxury.
So now, it‘s time to change not just my mindset, but my attitude- because this is hurting my daughter too. Of all the messages I wanted her to learn, I may have left out the message we must learn. #burnoutbuddyread

Amandajoy I find it so incredibly sad that a lot of us associate sleeping enough and feeding our bodies as self care. No wonder we‘re so stressed & burned out! 5y
Hooked_on_books I hate the term “self care” as it‘s so self-helpie. I just cringe at those terms. I was in health care for many years and I would see family members of those in the ICU especially run themselves ragged. I always told them: you can‘t take care of someone else if you aren‘t taking care of yourself. It‘s a fundamental truth and a big part of what I think they‘re saying in this book. Learning to say no is vital. 5y
Chrissyreadit @Amandajoy @Hooked_on_books I think that‘s why I get angry- I‘ve been told remembering to eat and using the bathroom is “self care” and while it literally is taking care of ones self it feels like it shouldn‘t be an activity I managed to squeeze in when my body could not wait any longer. I appreciated the message in this book very much. (edited) 5y
68 likes1 stack add3 comments
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Chrissyreadit
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Chapter 7- this was the most eye opening- in my face- pot/kettle- chapter I have EVER read. How much of my inflammation and chronic illness and weight and fatigue is due to poor sleep? And guilt over not doing enough? And the expectation in my life that it‘s perfectly normal to work, grad school, homeschool, have teens, a house to care for, social justice to fight for, and prepare food?
#burnoutbuddyread

DrexEdit The prevailing society view seems to be that self care is an in indulgent luxury. But it's so important. 🙂💜 5y
Blaire I‘m a chapter behind. Looking forward to reading this one in the next couple days. 5y
Amandajoy Yep, all of it. I counsel people everyday on their diet (lots of diabetes) and I always ask about sleep and talk about how important it is and why they should make it a priority. And yet, I struggle with it. Even though I know I‘m a better person when I‘m getting more sleep. And then there‘s struggling between doing too much & feeling like you‘re not doing enough. Makes me exhausted just talking about it. 5y
BookDragonNotWorm 💙💙💙 5y
Chrissyreadit @Amandajoy - yes! I just found out I Have sleep apnea. That may be a big reason for many of the problems I‘ve had the past few years. And previous drs have instead focused on my weight telling me to make better food choices and stop lying about what I eat. There were many days I did not remember to eat and crashed with exhaustion. And it may have been sleep all along! 5y
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Chrissyreadit
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Hi friends. I reread chapter 6, and have been thinking quite a bit about this. What are your thoughts? #burnoutbuddyread

Amandajoy I would need to look over this part again. It‘s not ringing a bell. What were your thoughts on it? 5y
Chrissyreadit @Amandajoy I find that our culture celebrates separate knowing. Connected knowing can be disparaged. We are taught not to trust our guts. We are taught to focus on individuality. I think of how often I worked in early intervention and the behavior issue was babies crying or toddlers wanting attention. Too many children and not enough connection opportunities. And so children are taught to only trust rules and routines. There‘s so much more to my 5y
Chrissyreadit @Amandajoy thoughts but this is where they begin. 5y
Amandajoy Yeah, I definitely see where we‘re taught not to trust our gut. And I do remember listening to this chapter agreeing with it about touch & connection. It‘s something I struggle with just because I‘ve lived by myself for so long. But human touch is so important to life. 5y
56 likes4 comments
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Verity
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Pickpick

Don‘t judge it by the crap cover. As has been noted in the past, I have mixed results with self help and self improvement type books, but I actually found this really quite helpful. To use an Americanism, it's quite validating in some ways to see things that you have experienced or suspected talked about in a "proper" book. some of the worksheets on other areas.

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Amandajoy
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Listening to this chapter while driving after getting about 4 hours of sleep last night. Ugh. 🤦🏼‍♀️😴

Librarybelle I plan to read this one later this week 5y
Blaire Hope you get some rest. I also plan to get to this one later this week. 5y
Amandajoy @Blaire I‘m trying 🙂. I just found it a little ironic that I was driving, listening to this when she said “don‘t do anything on 4 hours of sleep that you wouldn‘t do drunk, like driving a car.” 5y
Blaire @Amandajoy 😂😂😂. I wouldn‘t have been able to do anything at all then for the first three years of my children‘s lives. 😴 all the time. Working on my sleep. 5y
37 likes4 comments
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SilverButtonBooks
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Chapter 6 hit me right away with this quote, “Social connection is a form of nourishment, like food.” Bam! I love that connection. If socializing is like food then we are all, understandably, very different! I don‘t have to socialize like others do, I just need enough to nourish myself. Bonus: the litmus test “Are you there for me” is such a simple way to determine if someone is trustworthy.

Chrissyreadit Yes- the importance of tribe! And I think about the connections I see all the time, the baby learning secure vs anxious connection. 5y
SilverButtonBooks My great goal in life is to have a tribe of reliable people in my life outside of my wonderful family! 5y
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Librarybelle
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“But we need other people to teach us how to love ourselves best.” This hit me. Hard.

I think Chapter 6 has been the best chapter so far in this book, at least for me. For 2020, my word is the year is authentic. I‘ve felt adrift over the last few years, and making this decision to focus on this aspect has greatly helped. While I had not made the connection to burnout, it makes sense - so focused on stressors that I‘m missing a part of me. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Librarybelle I appreciated the discussion about authenticity and inauthenticity, as well as trust and connecting knowledge. There was also the line that everyone will find their right technique, that everyone has a personal way to combat stress and burnout. Yes! I‘m thinking more positive about this book now, for sure. #burnoutbuddyread 5y
Hooked_on_books Wonderful! It‘s so great when a book speaks to you and really starts to matter. I‘m so glad. ☺️ 5y
SilverButtonBooks I‘m so glad that you are feeling more positively about this book and something spoke to you! I have gathered a LOT of things I love but there have been one or two chapters that haven‘t spoken with me as much. 5y
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Librarybelle @SilverButtonBooks Thanks! And I agree. Lots of good information, but a couple chapters just didn‘t really speak to me. 5y
DaveGreen7777 That you are finding inspiration in this book, Jess! You are such a kind, thoughtful, wonderful person and I hope 2020 is the year where you appreciate yourself as much as your friends appreciate you! 🤗 5y
Librarybelle Thanks so much, @DaveGreen7777 ! You offer such wonderful encouragement and support! 🤗 5y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Very true, but it‘s hard to remember that sometimes... 5y
Chrissyreadit @Librarybelle I‘m so glad you are finding some part that speaks to you ❤️ 5y
MemoirsForMe ❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 5y
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