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Friendfluence
Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are | Carlin Flora
32 posts | 3 read | 1 reading | 4 to read
Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes. Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say its because we choose our friends, its also because we expect less of them than we do of relatives. While were busy scrutinizing our romantic relationships and family dramas, our friends are quietly but strongly influencing everything from the articles we read to our weight fluctuations, from our sex lives to our overall happiness levels. Evolutionary psychologists have long theorized that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. These days, we still cherish friends but tend to undervalue their role in our lives. However, the skills one needs to make good friends are among the very skills that lead to success in life, and scientific research has recently exploded with insights about the meaningful and enduring ways friendships influence us. With people marrying laterand often not at alland more families having just one child, these relationships may be gaining in importance. The evidence even suggests that at times friends have a greater hand in our development and well-being than do our romantic partners and relatives. Friends see each other through the process of growing up, shape each others interests and outlooks, and, painful though it may be, expose each others rough edges. Childhood and adolescence, in particular, are marked by the need to create distance between oneself and ones parents while forging a unique identity within a group of peers, but friends continue to influence us, in ways big and small, straight through old age. Perpetually busy parents who turn to friendsfor intellectual stimulation, emotional support, and a good dose of merrimentfind a perfect outlet to relieve the pressures of raising children. In the office setting, talking to a friend for just a few minutes can temporarily boost ones memory. While we romanticize the idea of the lone genius, friendship often spurs creativity in the arts and sciences. And in recent studies, having close friends was found to reduce a persons risk of death from breast cancer and coronary disease, while having a spouse was not. Friendfluence surveys online-only pals, friend breakups, the power of social networks, envy, peer pressure, the dark side of amicable ties, and many other varieties of friendship. Told with warmth, scientific rigor, and a dash of humor, Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science but draws on clinical psychology and philosophy to help readers evaluate and navigate their own important friendships.
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CoffeeNBooks
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iread2much 😊 3y
54 likes1 comment
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CoffeeNBooks
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I'm almost caught up with my #LitsyLove mail! Each of your letters puts a smile on my face, so thank you so much @Laughterhp @Pogue @Born.A.Reader @Coleen_Nieto @Ash.on.the.line @Kaylamburson @jb72 📬💌😊

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CoffeeNBooks
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#LitsyLove and #LitsyMail I'm just now getting a chance to respond to. Thank you all so much for these smiles in my mailbox! 📬💌😊 @Crazeedi @Morr_Books @AmyG @TheSpineView @catiewithac @j.rye

AmyG 😘 3y
catiewithac Those ☕️ stamps!!! 3y
TheSpineView 😘🥰😊 3y
Crazeedi 🥰🥰🥰 3y
Crazeedi @catiewithac I had to buy them too!!! 3y
67 likes5 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Thanks so much for the #LitsyLove letters! It's taken me awhile to get to them, but I appreciate you all so much for your friendship. And patience as it has taken me awhile to write back. 😁 Sending out some #LitsyLove letters tomorrow. 📬💌😊
@smalldogs_bigbooks2419 @samanthagutt @Kdgordon88 @AprilMae @TheKidUpstairs

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks 💛💛💛 3y
58 likes1 comment
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mohdsahil
This post contains spoilers
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My friend

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CampbellTaraL
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Pickpick

I am an autistic adult and I found this book very helpful. Many of the lower-rated reviews (on GR) are by those who felt the information was common knowledge, a collection of no-brainer facts, and thus didn't feel the book met expectations. However, for someone who has always struggled with navigating social structures, especially friendships, the book explains all the nuance that people like me have trouble understanding.

(Cont...)

CampbellTaraL It was especially validating to read about the autistic woman following a similar path: diving into books like this one to reconcile the social interaction mismatch that leaves us isolated. 4y
31 likes4 stack adds1 comment
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Schnoebs
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Mehso-so

3⭐️

I think with this book you read it more to reflect on yourself rather than actually reading it for the material. I listened to the audiobook version of this and found myself not always payinng attention to what was being said because I would listen to a section and then start thinking about how it related to me and my friend groups.

#audiobook #libby #nonfiction #mpls #twincities

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Schnoebs
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Took the train and walking to the hospital to get some my flu shot and some other stuff done for work. Made some great progress on this audiobook 🎧 Now time for this yummy burrito bowl for my partial shift I picked up today.

#flushot #fall #leaves #audiobook #libby #nonfiction #food #mpls #twincities

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Schnoebs
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Reading a variety of things recently and wanted to share. I should be reading for #bbbbc and #lotrbuddyread but picked up Year One instead 🤦‍♀️ On the nonfiction side though, I‘m quickly making progress through friendfluence and recently started the Ryder Carroll book because I want to start getting into bullet journal for the new year 😍 What are you guys all reading?

#audiobook #nonfiction #mpls #twincities

coffees Oh wow! I didn't know there were books on bullet journaling :00 I'm reading manga right now for a readathon but I'm hoping to pick up more nonfiction books after this, the banes of my reading existence ^^;; 4y
Schnoebs @Crimson613 you can get a book on anything, that‘s why I love nonfiction so much lol. My go tos are usually science or memories but I always end up reaching for something different every other month or so 4y
coffees @Schnoebs Niiiice! I wish I was more into science! But it's hard to understand, altho I think psychology and brain stuff is cool. I guess I'm more into history and just random things I'm into at the time xD but it's hard to really keep my interest T_T 4y
28 likes3 comments
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Mitch
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Off on their journey across the sea- tried to start their journey from a pretty post box! #LitsyLove

StayCurious Very cool! Even your stamps are nice:) 5y
76 likes1 comment
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Mitch
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Had a lovely long walk around the Botanical Gardens, followed by a quick trip to a nearby Indie store. 6 miles done - and 2 #litsylove letters launched into the world. Happy Thursday! #bfcr3

charl08 Lovely part of the world! 5y
iread2much Such cool mail boxes! 5y
71 likes2 comments
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Gayan

Hey y‘all, say hey to my friend Karri. 🙋🏻‍♀️

Kenkare Hello!! 💕 5y
16 likes2 comments
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mvegabec
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I am super excited to get to know a new friend closely thru SummerSantaGoesPostal!! Thank you @BookishMarginalia !😁

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mvegabec
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Thanks for all the love litsy friends!! Y'all lake the days go brighter!! Replys going out! Thanks for the stickers, they are lovely @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks 💗 @jenniferw88 @whatsthEStorey @Stacypatrice @WeeziesBooks

Sleepswithbooks 💌😀💛 5y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks 💞💞💞 5y
8 likes2 comments
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TrishB
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Thanks Jenny 😘 I love the sticker too ❤️
#jbuk

Melissa_J That sticker looks like one of Ginger Spice‘s boots 😂 5y
TrishB @Melissa_J it definitely does! 5y
Cathythoughts Loving the sticker ♥️ 5y
104 likes3 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Some of this week's #jb mail. Thanks for brightening my day with your notes @IndoorDame @JoScho @phatsallylee and @Jas16 (I loooove the sloth!!) 📬💌 I'm finally getting caught up on all of the mail I got through the holidays, and getting responses out to new mail. 😁

Kaye 💕 5y
Jas16 ❤️ 5y
JoScho ❤️❤️❤️ 5y
IndoorDame 💌❣️ 5y
104 likes4 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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I'm all stocked up and ready for another year of #jb letter-writing, just because! 💌📬

Lovesbooks87 Very pretty! 5y
Carolyn11215 Ohhhhh...I just added those Alice postcards to my amazon shopping cart. I love Alice everything!! 5y
kellyann28 Thank you for this reminder 😍 5y
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Bklover Yay!!! 5y
Ms_T Very pretty! 5y
Betty Beautiful! 5y
Kaye Looking good ! I‘ve been stamping and putting stickers on my envelopes. I have a big stack waiting to start writing. I think I‘ll whip out a few tonight. Your cards are all so pretty. 5y
tracey38 Nice! 5y
erzascarletbookgasm So pretty! 😍And the Alice cards! 😍 5y
CoffeeNBooks @Carolyn11215 @erzascarletbookgasm I'm so glad I found those on Amazon!! 5y
Jee_HookedOnBookz May I know where can I find such beautiful cards? 5y
CoffeeNBooks @Jee_HookedOnBookz I ordered them all from Amazon, my favorite place to shop! 😂 5y
Jee_HookedOnBookz @CoffeeNBooks I'm gonna check them out asap! Ahahaa thank you! 🙂❤️ 5y
117 likes15 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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More recent #jb mail - thanks for making me smile @Lovesbooks87 @StephanieGeiser! 📬💌

Lovesbooks87 Yay! So glad it made it to you! 💜💜💜 6y
69 likes1 comment
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CoffeeNBooks
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CouronneDhiver Yay! I wondered where all my cards were at... sent out quite a few early last week. 😎😎 6y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks 💗💗💗 6y
80 likes2 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Thanks for the recent #jb mail @Mimi28 (I love the stickers Michelle!!), @Morr_Books, @amb, @rustoryhuf, @StephanieGeiser, @Lovesbooks87, @ReadOrDieRachel! 📬💌

JoScho 💖💖💖 6y
Mimi28 You‘re very welcome!! I‘m glad you loved the stickers!! 6y
69 likes2 comments
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Mitch
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I look your lead @wanderinglynn and got some address stamps made. Not quiet as pretty as yours but they do the job! There‘s a little packet on the way 💝 #jb

wanderinglynn 😀❤️ 6y
75 likes1 comment
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LitsyWelcomeWagon
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Repost from @ErinSueG

Please welcome @littleredcrevette

Ddzmini Welcome to Litsy happy reading 📖 😋 6y
CampbellTaraL Hellooooo! And welcome 😊 6y
AsYouWish Welcome to Litsy!!! 📚🎉📖🎊 6y
Samplergal Welcome!! 6y
45 likes4 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Today's Litsy #jb mail sponsored by @Bklover and @Soubhiville. Thanks!! 📬💌

JoScho Love that bunny! 💜 6y
Bklover ❤️❤️❤️ 6y
Kaye 💖 6y
81 likes3 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Thank you @rustoryhuf and @collegecatlady for the #jb mail today! I loooove the bookmark you made for me Crystal!! 📬💌

wellreadredhead Yay! Glad you like it! 6y
rustoryhuf I went on a #JB card writing spree. Glad it arrived! 6y
83 likes2 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Today's episode of Litsy #jb Mail is brought to you by @Ingerella @Captivatedbybooks @Wife @wanderinglynn @debthmpsn @Betty @Craftylikefox @Bklover @AshD16

And thanks to everyone who puts stickers & washi tape on the envelopes- I always forget to say thanks, but I keep them all and put them in my bullet journal. 😁

Wife 🌹 6y
JoScho ❤️❤️❤️ 6y
Bklover Yay! 💜💜💜 6y
Ingerella Yay! 6y
91 likes4 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Incoming mail, outgoing mail. 😊 #jb 📬💌 Thanks @SaturnDoo @prettybooknerd @Kelican17 @ReadOrDieRachel!

coffeewithbooks Yay you got it 😊 6y
readordierachel 👍🏽🙂 6y
JoScho That guinea pig card ❤️❤️❤️ 6y
CoffeeNBooks @JoScho Isn't that the best?! I should have taken a picture of the back, too- it had a little story about the guinea pig "making waves in the confectionary industry with his healthy take on classic novelty candies." ? 6y
JoScho Oh that is awesome! That one may be worthy of a frame. It is fantastic! 6y
89 likes5 comments
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CoffeeNBooks
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Today's lovely Litsy #jb mail, brought to you by @StephanieGeiser @RebelReader @Mitch @knittedgnome @Wonderwoman89. Thanks everyone!! 📬💌

I mailed several response cards today, in addition to cards to our newest members. 😊

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CoffeeNBooks
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Getting ready to send out some #jb mail. I bought this little basket to keep all of my cards in. 💌

Mitch Very organised 👍🏼💘👍🏼 6y
JoScho Love it! 💗 6y
Lovesbooks87 I got a basket today for my cards today too! 6y
Erinsuereads I‘m writing a bunch this weekend! I took a bookend and put it against my little writing station to store mine! 6y
Kaye Cute ! 6y
69 likes5 comments
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Mitch
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#57sGiveaway

Yeah congrats - that‘s a lucky set of numbers! You should definitely play the lottery this week! 🤞🏼

Soubhiville Thanks for entering! Good luck! 6y
51 likes1 comment
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LoverofLit
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Shout out to @rather_be_reading for the love! Thanks fellow litten 😊😊👏👏

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ElleSkel
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@whatwegrowtobe just joined! Some of you may have seen this pic before thanks to @monalyisha and it has another Litten in it! Welcome @whatwegrowtobe !! Try following @LitsyHappenings for book swaps and other fun stuff. I hope you love it here. #litsywelcomewagon

DHill Welcome to Litsy @whatwegrowtobe ! 6y
cobwebmoth @whatwegrowtobe Welcome to Litsy!🎉 6y
20 likes3 comments
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PandaPanda
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@Captivatedbybooks thank you so much for the card! This community is just too good it's amazing